A Little Legal Issue (A Diaper Dimension story) - updated 3/17/19 (About damn time, amirite?)

I make no promises on this one as to frequency of updates, because I have huge chunks of it written, but not chronologically. In fact, I have to write chapters one and two and possibly three before I even reach my first completed “sketch”. I’m posting this more or less to get some feedback on the execution of this particular scene, not to mention general reactions about the particular subject matter and whether it’s too “dark” to be appropriate for the setting, considering the Diaper Dimension was originally intended to be a somewhat humorous juxtaposition of every diaper story trope ever in one neat little package. Is it wrong to attempt an intense and serious story in an absurd, humorous setting?

Anyway, here goes.


A Little Legal Issue

Prologue

[I]“I’m Eileen Vaux, WILY News, and these are the top stories of the day. At Municipal High Court today, Pauletta Keaira has been convicted of first degree murder in the brutal slaying of her adopted mother, Miranda Guilory. The ruling has sparked both celebration and outrage, as Pauletta’s family and friends have repeatedly clashed with CAMOL demonstrators outside the courthouse during the proceedings. Let’s go to Tate Cozbi, who is on the scene.”

“Thank you, Eileen. It took a mere 47 minutes for the jury to find Miss Keaira guilty, sparking an outcry from her supporters and promises from CAMOL representatives to appeal. I’ve been told Miss Keaira’s own testimony was the biggest blow to her case, as she admitted on the stand that, at the time of the killing, Miss Guilory was only preparing to administer punishments that Miss Keaira had already received in the several months she’d been living with Miss Guilory. In his closing argument, Prosecutor Daniel Hegarty insisted that Miss Keaira was therefore not in life-threatening danger when she stabbed Miss Guilory, and therefore must be found guilty.”

“Now we’ve heard previously from CAMOL officials who have said that Amazonian law does not grant the same rights to adopted Littles that it does to Amazonian children when it comes to abuse, is this correct?”

“Yes, Eileen. In fact, one of the major issues raised by the defense in this case was the fact that Miss Keaira was adopted against her will, which stripped her of the rights she had as an adult free Little, but then she was not protected under child welfare law while under Miss Guilory’s care, and after she killed Miss Guilory, she was then tried as an adult.”

“And how have legislators responded to this watershed case?”

“Well, the prime minister has urged Parliament to draft some sort of legislation that at least provides a measure of consistency for adopted Littles, but there is fierce debate right now over what exactly that should look like. CAMOL, of course, is demanding that what it terms as kidnapping of Free Littles be banned, but lawmakers are hesitant to make such a sweeping change.”

“Thank you, Tate. I have with me here in the studio Malinda Attor, president of the pro-adoption group ELNAP, to discuss the verdict. Malinda, what is your official position on the matter?”

“Thank you, Eileen. We at Every Little Needs A Parent believe that this tragic situation could easily have been avoided if the law viewed Littles the way everyone else already does, as children.”

“Could you elaborate on that position, Malina? How do you feel the law should handle Littles?”

“Well, Eileen, if it weren’t that so many of these so-called Free Littles get these ideas in their heads that they’re adults and should have the same rights as Amazonians, they would accept their place in society as being in need of caretaking by loving Amazon parents and be happy when an Amazon takes pity upon them and adopts them. We believe strongly that Miranda Guilory would still be alive today, and that none of what CAMOL is calling child abuse would have happened if Pauletta weren’t so convinced by Free Little brainwashing that she were a grown woman capable of taking care of herself. It’s high time Parliament put an end to this insanity, and we at ELNAP intend to do everything in our power to make sure it happens.”

“So how do you propose Parliament rectify the situation?”

“Very simply, Littles don’t belong in adult Amazon society. Right now, when they reach age 20, they’re assumed to be adults just like Amazons, and they can get jobs and sign leases and borrow money and a whole lot of other responsibilities they are just not capable of handling. I mean, come on, every time we turn around Littles are getting mugged, raped, and all sorts of horrible things because they just aren’t capable of taking care of themselves! They can’t drive, they need special accomodations in their apartments, I mean, come on, a Little needs to carry a ladder with her to go grocery shopping, else she has to ask every stranger in the store to get her anything that isn’t on the bottom shelf!”

“But that’s just a size issue, Malina, surely you’re not suggesting…”

“There’s an old saying about that, Eileen. It goes, ‘I used to have the same problem, but I grew out of it.’”

“Thank you, Malina. Miss Keiara is currently being held without bail pending her sentencing hearing on Thursday. I’m Eileen Vaux, and this is WILY News.”[/I]

1 Like

Re: Proof of concept - “A Little Legal Issue” Diaper Dimension Story (Prologue 11/2)

As a test of the waters I think this is far from unreasonable. Although as a test for a premise it doesn’t give me much of a story and therefore can’t suck me in as I suspect it will if/when you continue it.

I think this subject has been a long time coming. I haven’t read too much of the diaper dimension so I cannot justify saying “I’m surprised I haven’t seen this before” because I haven’t looked. I’m sure you’re able to make a good story out of this if anyone can.

As for whether darkness is appropriate for this setting I think that question would be more relevant had The Promise not been so well received here. It’s not as if you were the original author of the first diaper dimension story and made the official sequel very dark. That would betray the tone of the original and betray its audience’s justifiable expectations (this is not to say Princess Potty Pants can’t write a dark reinterpretation of it herself just that her audience would have more reason to expect something closer to the original than if someone else did it). (Good) Settings are malleable and I strongly support other authors exploring their own interpretations, this is also why I love fanfiction.

Some parts of ABDL fiction leave large openings for dark stories. I understand why some people would prefer to avoid them (given the main motivations of being ABDL [comfort, cuteness, fetish, etc.] don’t leave much welcome for despair and misery).

I, however, think every author has a right to explore any angle they feel would make a great story (as a rule of thumb I feel if it can/would/does happen in real life then it’s fair game for fiction), if the readers despise it then it will be despised and buried while more beloved works flourish. I feel that’s how art is meant to work (there are road-bumps here and there to be sure but I think time will get around to vindicating the hidden gems as it goes).

Re: Proof of concept - “A Little Legal Issue” Diaper Dimension Story (Prologue 11/2)

I can’t really say anything either way. I didn’t enjoy it nor did I dislike it. It’s a news report detailing political issues that are being explored over on Daily Diapers. I can say that I’ve never seen one from a political top down perspective. Usually, so far, it’s been very personal tales, so on those grounds, I’m intrigued and I do believe this story would show up eventually, I’m just glad it’s someone like you who could execute the story well. It’s very promising and definitely not too dark. A Diaper Dimension procedural/political thriller.

I’ll say this, for the fap crowd (which is most of the community) this story won’t jive. For the rest of us, we await it hungrily.

Re: Proof of concept - “A Little Legal Issue” Diaper Dimension Story (Prologue 11/2)

Oh, it’s a very, very personal-level story. The news report just sets the stage. It’s actually intended to be something of a Hitchcock/Sperling style horror story.

Re: Proof of concept - “A Little Legal Issue” Diaper Dimension Story (Prologue 11/2)

I actually think this works very well. While the original story was definitely meant to be lighthearted and silly, there always was a dark undertone. What is happening is essentially a form of slavery, and the way the Littles are always dismissed, while it comes across as silly or even cute, is similar to issues with racism in the past. It seems like a joke when it is a short term story, but when you realize someone would be taken from a family, possibly with a spouse and actual children, it is less so. It isn’t as cute when you realized there would be 80 year old grandparents being treated as children, or children watching their parents suddenly reduced, or people who were taken as kids and never knew life aside from being a baby, etc. The dialogue you have here, where they try to blame things like prejudice, muggings, complete lack of accommodation, etc seems impossible but actually reflects a lot of the dialouge used for actual issues. It reminds me of the 'Person’s Case" in Canada, where women were told they couldn’t vote because they weren’t legally persons, and that “good girls don’t want to vote,” so it isn’t too far fetched that people would have similar arguments in this weird alternate universe. They miss that without the prejudice, these issues wouldn’t be in place. From any point of view it is almost frustrating. Its all sort of goofy and cute until you actually put yourself in the position of the Littles and see how they would feel.
Anyway, I’ve thought about something similar to this, where a captured ‘little’ kills their ‘parent’ and argues they can’t be tried as they were legally seen as children. This would mean either they go free, or the system would have to admit the Little was never actual a child. What you have here is definitely an interesting way to portray it, and while some people might not like the approach, I don’t think it being dark is necessarily a bad thing. There are other stories I’ve seen, “Wrong is Wrong,” and parts of “Chasing Emily,” for example, which have similar points in the same universe. To be honest, I normally read this type of stuff specifically for silliness and to relax, but this could actually be brilliant if done right. The only thing I should point out is that the original writer, PPP, might not like it. Have you asked her about doing this?

Re: Proof of concept - “A Little Legal Issue” Diaper Dimension Story (Prologue 11/2)

Has anyone ever asked J. K. Rowling or whoever created Pokemon and every other animé ever if they would like to see their characters in ABDL fiction? Because I’m pretty sure half this forum would be in trouble if they had to get express permission from the original canon authors of the universes in which they set their fanfiction.

You can’t deny that taking over someone else’s universe without their consent and often, I imagine, directly contrary to their wishes is at the core of fanfiction, especially fetish fanfic.

I’ve thought this universe was inherently sadistic from the start, so to me it’s been frustrating to see these stories where the characters just lay down and take the abuse.

Re: Proof of concept - “A Little Legal Issue” Diaper Dimension Story (Prologue 11/2)

Indeed, some of them have been downright atrocious with the willingness of the protagonist to just accept something that, in most cases, speaks in direct opposition to their personality as presented.

I don’t know if it’s appropriate to name names, so I won’t.

(edit) enough said…

Re: Proof of concept - “A Little Legal Issue” Diaper Dimension Story (Prologue 11/2)

I don’t think that was quite the vision of the dimension originally put forward, but is an idea that other authors have appended. It was a place where all diaper fetish are true, littles are just a common conduit of that. And since it’s story based, it’s usually quite inter-personal and coherent in each case rather than just random and blindly abusive. Characters act as a conduit for the reader who is ultimately into the idea of being forced.

It has its own rules and universal laws to make it make sense, in the same way that toy story does. The goal of the toy story movies isn’t to create a world where toys have genuine post traumatic stress disorders over the idea of being thrown out or broken, it’s to tell a story where toys are alive and have fun adventures.

Re: Proof of concept - “A Little Legal Issue” Diaper Dimension Story (Prologue 11/2)

Oh I’m not saying he has to or even should. However, he asked in the original post if it was wrong to put something so dark in that setting. I was saying it shouldn’t be a problem, if people don’t like it that’s their issue, but if he wanted to make sure he could ask the original writer. From what I’ve seen, there are about a dozen different versions of the same universe, so (like you said) there isn’t exactly a problem with using it.

And yes it is pretty sadistic, though I guess that is the point. As for taking the abuse, I think in the original it is fairly clear she can’t really do anything. She tries to fight a few times, but is easily manhandled, so it sort of makes sense. In other versions, it does seem strange. However, I think there is a sort of learned helplessness that can occur in situations like this, where people do just accept types of abuse. Someone who is told their entire life that there is nothing they can do will eventually believe it.

Re: Proof of concept - “A Little Legal Issue” Diaper Dimension Story (Prologue 11/2)

Yes, if I recall correctly the original was pretty light hearted and fetishy. The main character was originally a fetishist and all the ‘abuse’ was sort of written from that perspective. If you are the “asupr” I think you are, your are certainly more from the fun perspective. There are different versions though, from what I recall “Wrong is Wrong” went into detail about how the experience was traumatic for one Little. However, my understanding of the set up here was that WBDaddy was going from the darker perspective I described. It was always kind of there, even if it is approached differently and not stated directly, while this version takes it right out in front in perhaps the darkest way possible, a kidnapping, murder and trial. I think this is an interesting approach really, though I’d have to see how it works out.

Re: Proof of concept - “A Little Legal Issue” Diaper Dimension Story (Prologue 11/2)

I’ve got some suggestions for the setup if you don’t mind. Tinker with the language of the reporters a little bit. It seems fairly balanced and/or Little Biased. Orwell notes that language determines thought processes, and if the majority of the Amazon community is as controlling and condescending, the language used would do everything possible to put the Little in a bad, but incompetent light. Make the Amazons as the Institution in “Institutional Racism”.

Here are some snippets. (Note, I’m assuming that Amazons are the reporters in this scene.)

  • “I’ve been told Miss Keaira’s own testimony was the biggest blow to her case, as she admitted on the stand that, at the time of the killing, Miss Guilory was only preparing to administer punishments that Miss Keaira had already received in the several months she’d been living with Miss Guilory.”

My take: Don’t call her “Miss” Keaira. That’s too egalitarian. There was a time when lawyers weren’t required to call black people by their proper surnames and titles. Go for that. Littles aren’t REAL people. They’re incompetents that need to be mothered at best and pets at worst. Perhaps “Little Miss”, or “Young Miss,”. Something to emphasize the “mentally and socially younger”. Maybe add the word “routine” when describing punishments. You know, to make it seem more normal.

-“Now we’ve heard previously from CAMOL officials who have said that Amazonian law does not grant the same rights to adopted Littles that it does to Amazonian children when it comes to abuse, is this correct?”

Change “rights” to “Protections”. Perhaps refer to Amazonian as “normal”. Either “normal Amazonian children” or just “normal children”. Use the language to show that Amazons consider themselves the baseline. This is their world, and the Littles are just living in it.

  • “Yes, Eileen. In fact, one of the major issues raised by the defense in this case was the fact that Miss Keaira was adopted against her will, which stripped her of the rights she had as an adult free Little, but then she was not protected under child welfare law while under Miss Guilory’s care, and after she killed Miss Guilory, she was then tried as an adult.”

Maybe throw doubt that it was against her will. Or that her will mattered. Like “Adopted, which according to the defense, was, against her will.” Maybe changed “stripped of rights” to “Removed”.

  • “CAMOL, of course, is demanding that what it terms as kidnapping of Free Littles be banned, but lawmakers are hesitant to make such a sweeping change.”

Maybe add in a little extra emphasis to “kidnapping”, and come up with a replacement more amazonian PC term. “CAMOL of course is demanding that Compulsory Adoption, which it equates as kidnapping….” Kind of like how it’s either torture or enhanced interrogation techniques.

“Well, Eileen, if it weren’t that so many of these so-called Free Littles get these ideas in their heads that they’re adults and should have the same rights as Amazonians, they would accept their place in society as being in need of caretaking by loving Amazon parents and be happy when an Amazon takes pity upon them and adopts them. We believe strongly that Miranda Guilory would still be alive today, and that none of what CAMOL is calling child abuse would have happened if Pauletta weren’t so convinced by Free Little brainwashing that she were a grown woman capable of taking care of herself. It’s high time Parliament put an end to this insanity, and we at ELNAP intend to do everything in our power to make sure it happens.”

-This part…right here….perfect! Don’t change a thing. If you want to go for satire, maybe throw in how CAMOL and it’s ilk are attacking the Amazonian’s freedoms.

“So how do you propose Parliament rectify the situation?”

“Very simply, Littles don’t belong in adult Amazon society. Right now, when they reach age 20, they’re assumed to be adults just like Amazons, and they can get jobs and sign leases and borrow money and a whole lot of other responsibilities they are just not capable of handling. I mean, come on, every time we turn around Littles are getting mugged, raped, and all sorts of horrible things because they just aren’t capable of taking care of themselves! They can’t drive, they need special accomodations in their apartments, I mean, come on, a Little needs to carry a ladder with her to go grocery shopping, else she has to ask every stranger in the store to get her anything that isn’t on the bottom shelf!”

“But that’s just a size issue, Malina, surely you’re not suggesting…”

“There’s an old saying about that, Eileen. It goes, ‘I used to have the same problem, but I grew out of it.’”

  • Did you borrow this from me on the DD boards? :wink:

Just my 2 cents. I don’t know what tone you were aiming for. I’m just a fan of “if you’re gonna go dystopia, go all out.” And that includes thought control via the media. Glad I popped over on here and got to see it.

Re: Proof of concept - “A Little Legal Issue” Diaper Dimension Story (Prologue 11/2)

Did you borrow this from me on the DD boards?

Absolutely I did. I figure if I’m going to dive into this “universe”, I’m going to tip my hat to some of the significant authors who created it. :wink:

Re: Proof of concept - “A Little Legal Issue” Diaper Dimension Story (Prologue 11/2)

I really like, BTW, the suggestions you’ve thrown out here. The whole “TV broadcast” thing didn’t feel right to me as I’ve read it repeatedly, and I couldn’t quite figure out why. You’ve done a great job of bringing the flaws into focus.

Re: Proof of concept - “A Little Legal Issue” Diaper Dimension Story (Prologue 11/2)

Disclaimer: I have not done a Diaper Dimension story. I talked about the DD, cuz it is a cool concept when well executed, but I have done no work to date.

That’s what I like about this forum, the people who can take suggestions and other people’s opinions in stride.

I think this is a particularly dark twist, and while the original DD story might have been a semi-silly “be careful what you wish for” love letter to all the classic abdl tropes; I can easily see this universe become a classic dystopia of sorts as well. I look forward to when you have the time to expand upon your proof of concept.

Re: Proof of concept - “A Little Legal Issue” Diaper Dimension Story (Prologue 11/2)

Well, Orwell was wrong. Language does not determine thought process, at best it very weakly influences it, and not in the ways you’d expect. Look up the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis. If “bridge” is a feminine noun in your language, you will be more inclined to describe it as elegant or beautiful, while if it is masculine, you’re much more likely to describe it as towering or sturdy. But there has been no evidence that Newspeak can actually make you think differently, and certainly not determine thought.

Language reflects thought, however. And news reports will, of course, reflect what is politically correct in society at large. Functionally it is much the same thing, as totalitarian governments will absolutely try to make it impossible for you to actually speak truth to power, I just wanted to point out that this doesn’t actually amount to thought control. Merely attempted thought control. This usually leads to very creative subversions, look at Soviet literature. Lots of interesting shit going on with subtext (thanks, Russian lit course). What Orwell did with Animal Farm had already been done by Bulgakov with Heart of a Dog. But I digress.

The salient thing here is that the “resistance”, if you could call it that, will always be speaking on two levels simultaneously. The establishment will be doing the same thing, but its subtext will be the opposite. I am all in favor of ultradark dystopia, probably more so than the author of this fic.

Re: Proof of concept - “A Little Legal Issue” Diaper Dimension Story (Prologue 11/2)

Here’s the interesting part about the news dialogue: My approach to the back-and-forth between the reporters was actually more reflective of modern American media, where it’s not so much about pushing a position as it is stirring up as much controversy as possible, so the reporters speak in inflammatory language, using power words like “stripped” and “clashed” and the like. The guest speaker, however, uses much more biased, propaganda-oriented language to push her agenda.

Even so, there are numerous opportunities for me to go back and fix it to make it a more consistent presentation for all parties involved. And I actually do like the idea of showing at least a little bit of bias on the part of the news anchor herself.

PS: The last names sound a bit odd for a very, very good reason. If you’re up for some googling, I promise you’ll get at least a chuckle or two about my specific choices… :wink:

Re: Proof of concept - “A Little Legal Issue” Diaper Dimension Story (Prologue 11/2)

i can see where you are going with that wbdaddy. Sensationalist news. Controversy means ratings. Under that lens, it makes sense.

Re: Proof of concept - “A Little Legal Issue” Diaper Dimension Story (Prologue 11/2)

Still yet, you drew my attention to some detail work that needed doing. :slight_smile:

Re: “A Little Legal Issue” Diaper Dimension Story (Updated 12/22)

Shit… I was going to update this, but then I realized I completely fucked up my new story arch…

Re: “A Little Legal Issue” Diaper Dimension Story (Updated 12/22)

How so, if you don’t mind my curiosity?

By the way, thoughts on the story so far: I’m glad someone is doing a dark, serious take on this universe. I usually avoid the “diaper dimension” subgenre of ABDL specifically because I can almost never take them seriously. I prefer darker, more dramatic plots. So this was a welcome deviation from my usual reading path, because it explores the things I probably would have philosophically pondered if I knew more about this universe. The little being trialed as an adult was an interesting twist, though it was slightly less believable than the alternative considering the public view of littles overall.

If you made edits to the news dialogue, I don’t think I’ve read the original version, as I came to visit this one late. I think they’re mostly fine as they are now, however. Controversy is what the news lives for in the country whose news system you were trying to emulate, so good job with portraying that.