This is my first post, so i feel it’s only fitting that I tell you a bit of my life’s story. (and yes i know my bit kinda turns into my entire life but it’s all crucial info) My mother was a drug addict since way before i was born. Actually she was a drug addict since high school. That didn’t stop when she got pregnant. This is the thing that causes many of my problems through my life. When i was born I was the youngest of 4 children. I had one older brother and two older sisters. My brother Scott was the eldest, followed by my sister Mary, then my sister Jill and finally me. Growing up while my siblings were at school i would spend multiple hours watching TV which most likely lead to my interest in reading and later writing. Growing up i was constantly on the border between feminine and masculine. I was always willing to take a hit scrape a knee or fall. I often found myself mainly spending most of my time with my sister because my brother Scott was always working or at school. I remember growing up my mother was very passe towards my brother and I but always seemed to lavish my sisters with attention and approval. I realized at a young age that i was unusual. I knew i had a role that I should have fit into and i had completely ignored that role. But that changes when i reached kindergarten. I was often excluded because i was in fact different. i was a a moose among deer. It was very like a messed up version of the discovery channel. It was then that i sought to change my ways. I had always been intelligent but my intelligence up until this point was used for attention and for praise. Now my intelligence would be used for one sole purpose, the perfection of a role. I had decided that this role would be perfect. I would be everything a boy should be i would be more daring than all others and i would no longer fear pain. And to this goal, i was successful. At times i was so successful that i often fooled myself as well as everyone else. when i was 9 i got very deep into drugs. I was buying and selling drugs solely for my own addiction. By the age of 11 i was in the Boston Devision of the bloods. this allowed me to expand my market and my addiction. while there i used my anger towards society and it’s social rules as a fuel for my fighting. This often lead me to extremely brutal and dangerous ways of winning gang fights. As my addiction grew worse and my world started to crumble i decided i had to quit. i spent a month during my summer vacation out on a boat in the Nantucket Sound. Soon after my parents and i moved to Florida (which this was our third time) and i was glad to leave the gang life behind me. i kept my role going strongly until roughly last October when i could no longer keep it inside me and had to tell someone. Little did I know, by the end of the year i would have told everyone of my close friends and would find each one to be thoroughly surprised but very comforting. I had thrown around the idea of following my dreams and going through with the procedure but had never really decided until last Wednesday , February sixth. It was on this day that I found her. It was on this day that i would find the one person who would change me in such a way that i decided that there was only one option for my future. This Person, this woman, the goddess was Dana International. A woman who had changed as i longed to and had been both beautiful and successful in this transition.
Now I bet a great many of you are wondering what exactly this has to do with this site well actually a heck of a lot. After my retreat from my gang life I started feeling differently and things that never would phase me before seemed to devastate me. Well after a while i became so engrossed in what was in my past that I eventually tunneled myself into my dream world going back to when i wasn’t haunted by what I had done and when things seemed more simple. If you actually read this entire thing I have one thing left for me to say…. I cannot believe I jest put this all ou ther for you guys!
