alone no more: chapter one

my very first story ever. please be nice

Chapter one:

The sun was setting and the bright rays of the day were fading as dusk took hold. Her cars automatic headlights turned on, just as she was pulling into her driveway. As she put on the parking break and turned the key off, she sat in silent for a few moments, listening to not only the cars ticking and cooling noises but to her thoughts in her head.

After a few minutes, she snapped out of it and slowly, lethargically, pulled herself from the car. She locked the doors and headed to her front door. The porch light was not on, and it took her a few minutes of fumbling with the keys to let herself in. she sat her purse on the table and took off her shoes.
Now what, she thought to herself. She had the whole weekend off of work but was not really sure what to do with herself. She had grown up out her alone, really. She had a little home on some land a few miles from town that her grandmother had owned. Her parents had died when she was 2 in a car crash and her grandmother had taken it upon herself to raise Steph as she saw fit.

That was a nice way to put it. She was a hard lady. She did not show love well and was a clean freak. She had no family and friends and thus, the same lifestyle had been handed over to Steph as well. Most people, the few that could say, said she had an old soul. She was a loner for the most part and had never really made more than casual friends. She went to the rare birthday party as a kid or sleepover but there were no best friends. Her grandmother did not allow her to be socially active.

A month after she had graduated high school, her grandmother had suffered a stroke and had suddenly died. While sad at the loss, she was awash in new freedom that she had never had before. She had inherited the little 700 square foot house that was paid for, a 99 ford focus and some money. She worked at the local drugstore, called Mr. Righty’s Drugstore. She went from part time cashier to assistant manager within a month of graduating high school, right around when her grandmother died. It helped her to not dwell to much on being so suddenly both alone and free. She had been planning on going to community college but she would have to wait for a while now.

She was at work now, when her boss came up to her and said “hey Steph, can you run this by the north side store on your way home?” He handed her a bag and rushed off without waiting for an answer. She had nothing better to do but was still mad that people just pushed her around. She had a submissive side she could not shake and more and more it seemed to be taking over. As she was leaving, she was heading down a new aisle that had just been redone. Teenage and adult diapers were stacked from top to bottom! She was caught so off guard that she stopped for a second. With a nervous rush she scanned until she found her size. Oh, if she didn’t work here, she would take the package and run. But she did. So she nervously glanced around and, not seeing anyone looking at her, fled the store.
After she ran her errand, she went home. After a few boring hours of TV, she turned on her computer. She was going to play some online games but she started thinking about diapers again. When it booted up, she went to Google and typed in adult diaper. Within minutes, she could not only place her feelings but realized she was not alone. It was almost overwhelming. She stayed up the entire night scouring over all the different websites. She even made an account on one, and put a little personal information up but nothing revealing. She did order a few things, like some disposable diapers and baby type things. A few pacifiers and bottles and such. There was little need for secrecy as she lived alone and knew so few people. Better this anyways, than standing in a line at a store! The very thought terrified her.

She ended up on craigslist and saw an ad for an Adult Baby Party tomorrow! As exciting as that was and as close as it was, she read the ad knowing she could never attend. She read on anyways and realized it was at a public park. Maybe she could go and just see what it was all about from a distance. After seeing the diapers, she knew she was hooked. Looking at the clock, she quickly did the math and figured if she was going to go, she better head to bed. It was after all five in the morning. She went to sleep with her old teddy in her arms and thumb in her mouth, and dreams of diapers and baby things dancing in her head.

She woke up with a start. Something was wrong. She was cold. Confusion set in. she had wet the bed. She jumped up and started crying. What was going on? She had not wet the bed in something like 12 years. She started to clean it all up and put the sheets in the washer, when she realized it could not be just a coincidence. But with nothing further to go on, she went to the shower and undressed. She was wet after all. She looked at herself in the mirror and realized she had a young girls body. She never did much to doll up but she did clean herself methodically. Her breasts were small, a b cup and her vagina had only light colored hair. In the spirit of the moment, she turned on the water to the shower, grabbed her razor and shaving cream and stepped into the shower. She shaved her legs and did not stop until all hair below her neck was off her body.

She stepped out of the shower, toweled off, and wiped off the mirror. What awaited her was beyond her wildest dreams. She looked all of 12. She hurridly dried her hair, put it into pigtails and rummaged through her drab clothes until she found a pair of pink little girl panties, overalls and a hello kitty tshirt someone had given her long ago. She stepped back and looked into her bedroom mirror. 10 years had melted off within a few minutes of work!

Now all she needed was some baby things and the look would be complete. She was rushing into all this and was getting a little carried away. But she could not stop herself. She had repressed these feelings for far too long. It seemed nothing could stop them now. Her mind barley thought about getting caught or how obvious she would be to a bunch of people into the lifestyle of adult babies. She was never going to be blended in to their trained eye.
She grabbed her purse and headed to her car. It was off to the park. Off to a new day!

alone no more: chapter one

For a first story, this was actually pretty solid. I enjoyed it a lot, please keep going, the more you write, the better you’ll get.

alone no more: chapter one

thank you for the compliment… it really is my first story ever… and i love to read
already on ch 2. on its way

alone no more: chapter one

Loving to read really helps your writing. It was pretty solid. However, I do have a couple criticims.

First, you seem to have an aversion to apostrophes. “Car’s,” not “cars.” This is pretty minor to the story as a whole though.

Second, there were some dicey pronoun references. I had a hard time telling whether “she” was “Steph” or “grandmother” in some points.

Third, be mindful of pacing. It started well, but I think you needed to slow down the diapers a bit. Why did the diapes catch her off guard? How did she go from “oh, there are diapers. Hmmm, I have strange feelings” to going to a diaper party in the space of a single paragraph?

Keep these in mind moving forward, but you have a good start.

alone no more: chapter one

yeah… thanks…

i really see alot i could have done better…

i am glad i wrote it but i think i am going to rewrite it some… i will take what you have said to heart!

hehe

bye