Amber Lynne, The beginning

This is a story base on a D&D character I have. She origionally started as an NPC, but I soon sound that she was also fun to play.

Amber Lynne awoke in her room in her father’s keep wet and messy as ususal. Sitting up in her bed she looked across the room where Min her pseudo-dragon familar still snoozed. So much for a clean dry night she said throwing off her covers. She was at home for the most part as she looked about her cluttered room. Over in the corner sat her collection of spell books, and asorted magical items, but she still felt something was missing in her life. She wanted to be and adventure like her father was when he was younger and her sister was when the feeling struck her.
As she sat lost in thought she was brought back to reality by a knock at the door and she hard the voice of Matilda. “Are you us yet deary, your father and sister do plan on you having breakfast with them.”
“I’m up.” She said and looked over at Min who had also been awakened by the knock. “Sorry Min,” she said as she grabbed her things and made her way down the hall to the bath to get cleaned up. Matilda met her at the door and removed her robe and checked her diapers. “My my are we messy this morning. Let’s get you ready, Dellia is just getting out of the tub.”
After quickly having her diapers and wool soakers removed she headed to the bath, the she met her half-sister in her normal from. Dellia was considered to be on of the most beautifuly woman on the island, but what no one outside their family knen is that she wasn’t completly human at all. Dellia was an Alu-Demon, the daughter of a succubus and their father, but unlike most of her kind she was neutral and hated her demon side completely.
“Moro Del,” Amber said as her sister shooked the water out her bat-like wings.
“Hi little sis, so you gonna ask Dad today?”
“What?” Amber responded.
“If you can go adventuring with me, you been talking about it for weeks now.” Dellia looked at her as she dried her hair, her redish eye almost seeing throught her.
“I…I thing I will at breakfast,” Amber said as she settled into the tub and started to wash.
“Good, don’t worry I won’t tell father until you want to.” She smiled her small fangs showing, then with a wink of her eye she was back to her human form and left.
Amber pondered how she was going to ask her dad to let her go. She was 18 years old, and it wasn’t her fault she was never toilet trained. Her mother was taken by the plague before she could be. The she was bounced from place to place until her father had found her at the age of 7. She had live in the Isles of Earth Sea for too long she wanted to return to Faurun, just to see what it was like again.
Amber left the tub and diapered herself this morning and got dress and went down to breakfast. Her father Blue Jay, son of Sparrow Hawk was reading some scroll that had just been delived by and albatross. His best friend the drow elf Kaltalegres sat along side him as they discussed it. Looking up he saw his daughter and said.
“So you want to leave the keep and adventure with you sister?”
Amber looked over at Dellia, who looked just as startled.
Their father smiled nothing goes on with in the wall of this keep that I don’t know, and just so you know I approve.

Amber Lynne, The beginning

Lamest explanation of her diaper wearing ever. And not really consistent with her expecting a clean, dry night either. It was nice that you used full stops, but you didn’t manage commas really and you have some typos in there. Oh - and it’s like 20 lines long.

Don’t quit, but try a little harder.

Amber Lynne, The beginning

i thought it was good but i agree on the diaper explanation y didnt her father just do it

Amber Lynne, The beginning

Interest story though you should try to reread through what you have because I think you would find several mistakes and maybe find flaws.

Should not be ‘ready’ not ‘us’?

Though most time I have see is stories are at least an page long when posting stuff.

Even if you don’t listen to what I have said I want more of the story so please continue it :stuck_out_tongue: .

Amber Lynne, The beginning

Should not be ‘ready’ not ‘us’?

Though most time stories are at least page long when post stuff.

Even if don’t listen to what I said I want more of the story so please continue :stuck_out_tongue: .[/quote]

LOL@ the grammar of this post being worse than the original.

Amber Lynne, The beginning

Should not be ‘ready’ not ‘us’?

Though most time stories are at least page long when post stuff.

Even if don’t listen to what I said I want more of the story so please continue :stuck_out_tongue: .[/quote]

LOL@ the grammar of this post being worse than the original.[/quote]

Well there reread through post but never said going perfect grammer not did I.

Opps I forgot to add my sig to account thank reminding me.