well this is my first attempt at writing a story in this forum and actually the first time since school I’ve done any creative writing of my own that I’ve wanted to share so I’m sure I’ve made mistakes and I’m sure you folks will point them out but please be gentle.
I haven’t written any more to this so if you like it please let me know.
In case it isn’t clear the italic section is the main characters blog where as the normal section is the story part.
Thanks and Merry Christmas
Anonymous Nappied Teens Blog
One of the reasons English is such a great language is because of the OED or the Oxford English Dictionary. When it was conceived in the 1850s its simple aim was document, as opposed to define, the English language. This meant, and continues to mean, that words and their definitions can be added to the OED from any English source simply by them being used. Take for example “Raison D’être” this elegant French phrase literally translates as ‘reason for being’ but can be used in English to describe the claimed reason for the existence of something or someone.
So what does this have to do with the blog (added to the OED in 2004) of someone called anonymous_nappied_teen? Well there are millions of blogs about what it is like to be a teenager, I know because I have one (I hope you’ll understand why I will not be linking to it) and millions of pages of peoples illnesses and conditions about any subject you like. But when I was hoping to find support about my incontinence issues I came back with very little. So I thought I’d document what it is actually like to be a teenage girl who wears and uses nappies as opposed to the various fantasises.
What you’ll find here are my own thoughts, experiences and adventures how my life is affected my incontinence and how it isn’t. What you won’t find here is porn, not that I have a problem with porn its just not what this place is about. Having said that, I’m going to describe what its like to have to wear nappies and use them so I guess that means I’ll be discussing bodily functions and bodies in general. However I want to make it clear that this isn’t intended just for adults, I hope to make this a place which is friendly for Incontinent kids and teens so any posts which I think are unsuitable for younger readers I’ll flag clearly. Finally if any or all of this is likely to offend you then you probably should stop reading tonight rather then sending angry mail tomorrow.
My only real hope for this blog is that someone comes across when they are looking for help about incontinence and that by reading it they realise that incontinence isn’t the end of the world or even their social life and that is the Raison D’être for this blog
see you all soon
Anonymous Nappied Teen
A little about me
Well I’m 17 year old girl (just, my birthday was last Saturday) and I’m a student at my local grammar school (on a scholarship, I’m not that posh and I’m sorry folks not telling which school). I have red hair curly hair which refuses to do what I want to do and freckles. I’m actually quite short and people generally describe me as cute which is a description I loathe.
I woke part time in a large pharmacy which was kind of humiliating until I got paid. Not having to run to Daddy like half my classmates when I want something is worth it and besides everyone at the shop are great and we get on well.
In case you hadn’t guessed from the Raison D’être I’m a bit of a geek, not that I think that’s a bad thing in my book anyway. Anything is better than being a jolly hockey stick or a member of the pony club. I may be sounding like a bit of an emo or goth but I’m neither. There are a lot of cliques at my school for one reason or another and as I don’t belong in any of the fashionable ones. That’s not to say I don’t have friends I have plenty but I try not to limit my socialising to any one group.
I enjoy cycling and I’m on my schools senior lacrosse team, (I know what I said about jolly hockey sticks but they asked me and I was too shocked to say no out of principle) I really like my cycling and I’m saving for a new mountain bike so I can try some cross country runs although after the Olympics I was thinking about giving indoor cycling a go (Maybe I could get good enough for the 2012 games, yeah right :-P)
I like most music but I despise Rap and R&B I just find the lyrics so depressing, like all they can sing about is guns and how they mess up women. I have a small obsession with list shows which I know are terrible cheap TV but whenever I find them I end up watching the., one day they will do the top 100 tv list shows and I’ll probably watch it
I’m pretty liberal as far as my political leanings go and I’m looking forward to finally being able to vote (see told you I was a geek). I was also really pleased when Barrack Obama got elected (finally a president I can salute with more than one finger ) although my uncle was really p’d off about it. Generally though I’m an easy going chick and try not to take sides in too many things.
Despite what you might have heard about teenagers over here I’m currently a virgin, not through any attempt to preserve my purity for any god. A simple lack of opportunity plus a whole internal debate over my sexuality which is probably worthy of a separate post. Add to that the fact that all the guys I know who aren’t hormone driven idiots are either too old or not interested and you can begin to understand why.
I live at home with my mum and my 4 year old baby half brother we live in a deceptively big terrace house which is really nice as I have the 3 rooms in the attic, including a bathroom all to myself which is great.
When I’m not working or at school I play World of Warcraft ( my main is a female, Dranei Hunter and no I’m not saying my chars name or realm) I also enjoy reading read, or write blog contributions which is why this will be updated sporadically and with no real schedule. I also occasionally write bad Star Wars fan fiction stories.
Oh and I’m incontinent… I have been since I was 12, basically the nerve that controls ring of muscle which closes your urethra, (the little tube in your body which your pee runs from your bladder out of your body) when you hold your pee was destroyed, after I got trampled by a horse. So I have no voluntary control over when I pee.
I have to wear nappies (diapers to our American friends) to protect my clothes otherwise basically I’d be peeing myself throughout the day. The only times since the incident I wasn’t in a nappy was when I’m either wearing a nappy was when I was either wearing a catheter or getting changed. I know for some people this is would be the culmination of a lifelong fantasy for me its a somewhat embarrassing fact of my life.
So that in a nutshell is me, there’s lot more of course otherwise this would be a very short blog but right now I’ve homework to do and my other blog to update…
see you all soon
Anonymous Nappied Teen[/i]
I looked at the screen checking it for spelling mistakes one last time before hitting the upload button. I swallowed as I watched the progress bar quickly slide across, I flipped to the other screen and refreshed the page again picking up the first two posts on my new blog. I had no idea if anyone would read this or whether it could lead back to me…
Somehow that was an even bigger thrill, it wasn’t a big secret in school that I wear nappies it was barely a secret at all, but still to be caught talking about such a personal issue in such a public arena. I wouldn’t be ruined but still, the anonymity the web blog offered should help protect me. I refreshed the screen, no comments yet but then it had been all of 20 seconds since I had uploaded the posts. I was moments away from refreshing a second time when a shout form downstairs rang out.
“Alice, Dinner will be ready in five minutes”
“Ok Mum” I replied
I’d have to go to the few incontinence support forums and a few others tonight and advertise my blog which also meant she’d have to create a new profiles for my new identity as the Anonymous Nappied Teen.
“Speaking of which” I said to myself as I slipped a finger under the waist band of my skirt and pull up nappy. I was wet but I knew these pull ups could hold quite a bit more without leaking so I needn’t change them yet especially as this was my last pull up of the day and after this one it would be into the washable nappies again.
“Alice are you coming?” Mum called again
I locked the computer and flicked off the monitor before going downstairs to the kitchen, Mum was moving pots around as Lisa, her best friend was busy trying to convince my baby brother Jamie into his leave the booster seat on his chair.
“Can you set the table please Alice?”
“Sure mum” We pirouetted around each other as mum took the potatoes of the hob and I dove into the drawer for the knifes and forks
“How was school hun?” mum asked me as she attacked the floury potatoes with butter herbs and f Finally the masher
“Oh you know same as always…”
“…nothing to report” my mum finished of my sentence chucking to her self as I tousled Jamies hair as I put down his Spiderman plate and cutlery.
“You make school sound so dull Alice,” Lisa said
“It is” I replied passing Lisa her knife and fork"
“If I were to believe you I’d think you’d spend the entire day sitting on you laurels” My mum said as I rolled my eyes “I remember when we were in sixth form”
“Back in Elizabethan age” Mum calmly hurled a wet dish cloth at me for that one which I dodged before saying “Sorry Mum”
“Forgiven” she passed me the bowl of steaming mashed potatoes to put on the table before continuing “Back when I was at college we were always doing something, no day was ever as dull as you describe them.”
“So what did you do today?” Mum said smiling broadly as I rolled my eyes in mock resignation again.
“Fine it was a Friday you know, English language, Computer science and Modern History, It was OK. Oh I got invited to Martin Beckers birthday party.”
“Party” Jamie said looking up from his colouring book since his last one he thought every mention of a party meant he was getting another one.
“ooh nice” Lisa said as mum got the Casserole from the oven
“Are you going hun?”
“No” I replied incredulously " He’s such a… boy!" Lisa and my mum both chuckled at the comment and gave each other knowing glances.
We chatted on during dinner and the washing up as always just the usual thing that families do Mum and Lisa were planning on going to a conference together and were debating whether to leave me alone for the weekend or whether I’d need a sitter or not as Jamie would be with my Gran. Personally I thought I didn’t and was hoping to persuade my mum into letting me have a couple of friends over but for now I was doing the nearly and adult and responsible enough to look after myself routine.
Finally dinner was over and after washing up and doing my chores I was free for the evening Lisa and mum were hogging the TV and Jamie had already been put down for the evening so I finished my assignment on the unification of Germany in 1871.
By the time I was done my nappy was soaked and beginning to leak through my jeans. I cursed
myself and went through to my little bathroom pulling my jeans off as I did and dropping them in the clothes basket after checking that the damp spot wasn’t to big.
My little bathroom had two linen baskets one for used nappies and one for clothes the rule was that I emptied and washed the nappy basket daily and my mum would help me with 3 washes a week for the rest which sounds like a lot of laundry because it is. But as this nappy was a disposable pull up it went straight in the nappy bin instead as soon as I’d peeled it from me.
I quickly stripped the rest of my clothes off and looked at myself in the mirror…I probably was cute despite my revulsion at being called that. Still under five foot with small but growing breasts which didn’t bother me as much as the freckles that covered my body. My figure was usually described as boyish but just recently I’d gone up a cup size and was finally beginning to get the curves my mum had promised I’d develop, of course that little change seemed to have drawn every creep out of the place. I found it all a bit confusing, I knew on one level that I should be looking amongst the boys who were all suddenly paying me attention for someone I could… they were all jerks, hormone driven idiots. I sighed, and then there was everything else. I still didn’t want to put those thoughts into words
The shower was warm and relaxing and as always a great way to relax as my body did I felt a hot trickle run down my legs, even after five years the sensation of peeing without any control bothered me. I gabbed the shower heads and washed my thighs again carefully before getting out the shower and drying off.
There was a low set of drawers in my room running along the wall on top was a padded vinyl bench which thankfully I’d re covered so it wasn’t quite as obvious as to what I used it for. Wrapped in a towel I opened a drawer beneath it and pulled out my night time protection. The nappies were of course thick and soft and fluffy and smelt of the non bio detergent. I spread two of the larger thicker night time nappies on top of each other and thick booster between them I climbed on top of the bench smiling as the fibres of the nappy tickle my behind I settled down on the stack of cloth and reached for the sweet smelling baby powder and began rubbing it into my hairless pussy. I had been so proud, which I know seems silly, when I had spotted my first pubic hairs, however as I found out much the hair had held moisture against my skin and caused a truly awful rashes and ever since I’d been shaving
These nappies were all closed with Velcro straps so it was much easier then the pinned ones with a bit of weight shifting which I had literally had years to practice, I could close all the nappies and wrap my tush in the layers of soft cotton in minutes, but tonight I wasn’t in a hurry and lingered over each step folding and fastening each layer tight against my body. The last step were the waterproof knickers needed to stop me waking up in a soggy bed. I pulled out a pair of pink “hello kitty” ones I had got from Japan and slid them up my legs taking a few moments to ensure that the diaper was tucked neatly into the leg and waistband and wasn’t bunching or sticking out anywhere
I threw on the huge comfy t-shirt I sleep in and my dressing gown and wandered down to get a drink and say goodnight to Mum. I heard giggling and the TV from the lounge and for some reason I stopped at the door and listened intently to the voices in the room beyond
“…blame her for not being interested in boys her own age, remember what they were like back then?” Lisa said
“All talk or no trousers or all trousers and smug about it.” My mum replied continuing “It just bothers me that she doesn’t have any good male role models”
“Just because you were a daddy’s girl”
“Thats not what I’m trying to say I mean with her Father gone”
I snorted beneath my breath. My father had left the same year as my accident to pursues a new life with his secretary if he was supposed to be a role model all he showed was what was wrong with men and boys. I walked into the lounge swallowing my anger and make it seem as though I had just come downstairs.
“Oh Hi Alice love, We’re not being noisy are we”
“No but I’m heading to bed Mum” I looked over at Lisa who took a sip of her wine looking at mum suggestively
“Oh Well we’ll keep it down love sweet dreams”
“Yeah goodnight Mum, goodnight Lisa.”
I hastily retreated out of the room trying to work out why I was so cautious and what had been bothering me about Lisa recently. I climbed back up the stairs to my rooms feeling suddenly in need of some serious stress relief. I scolded my self for being so silly Lisa and Mum were friends what is so unusual about that maybe I did need to relax after all.
I opened the cupboard in my bedroom and slid the false back away. The cupboard had been a fixture since we had brought the house but it was only a couple of years a go that I found the false back to it. It didn’t go anywhere, don’t worry I’m not about to vanish into an enchanted land where I had magical adventures. It was just a false back hiding an extra bit of wardrobe where I kept a few things I didn’t want my Mum to stumble upon. In this case I pulled out a thick pink pair of footed pyjamers giggling to myself I smiled as I slipped of the old t-shirt I usually wear to bed a instead got into the soft fleecy material. These were my favourite pair of pyjamers and came complete with thick mittens and a hood was designed to make me look a little like a teddy and as zipped it up that how snug and care free it made me feel. I bent down and giggling as I did and pulled a babies dummy, in fact my dummy on a ribbon from the box on the bottom of the hidden compartment, clipped it to my pyjamers and started to suckle on it
It wasn’t that I was embarrassed by wearing baby PJ’s, actually that was a lie, I was embarrassed by dressing up like this but somehow not knowing or understanding how exactly I felt about them was much more worrying. Until I sorted that out I didn’t want my mum to find them and leap to any conclusions.
Finally satisfied I looked over at myself in the mirror in outfit. Dressed like this there was no question that I looked like a little girl but at the same time the nappy bulge accented the curves in my body that marked me as a woman. If ever there was an image that could serve as a metaphor for that period of my life that image was it.
I yawned and rubbed my face with a mittened hand grinning at how unashamedly cute I could be before climbing into my bed and snuggling under the duvet. It was the weekend tomorrow and I’d have to do the afternoon shift but the morning was all mine. As I drifted I wondered about all the things in my life. I wondered as I sometimes did what would happen if my mum came up and found me in bed like this? Not that she did she had a whole thing about respecting each others privacy. I wondered if anyone would read my blog and what would they say if, when, I told the outside world that I also liked to dress up as a baby occasionally? I wondered if I could ever tell anyone that without them freaking out? I wondered why I had to do this, why it felt so good as I felt my nappy suddenly warm as I wet it and slipped into a blissful sleep.