Re: Bad Seed
Thank you for commenting. I enjoy hearing your thoughts. Cutting off in the middle wasn’t the bed decision- I should’ve just made it one long post. Gives the scene an incomplete feel, I think.
"Mrs. Vesper, please come help Billy; he needs a diaper change while I pass out the work books so we can practice our ABC’s. " Ms. Sweeney called, interrupting the confrontation.
Mrs. Vesper’s lips puckered, her red lipstick feathering at the edges. She adjusted her glasses, pushing them back up her nose before stalking off with an offended hmph and a sour look that promised Liliana she was not done with her.
Cameron kept sneaking peeks, afraid Mrs. Vesper would catch him looking. Once she’d stalked off, before he could change his mind and lose his courage, he grabbed the paper plate with the cookies and slipped out of his chair and onto the floor. Leroy was too busy picking his nose to pay attention to what Cameron was doing. Cameron crawled along on the carpeted floor, his diaper crinkling loudly. Liliana was only one table over from him, at the little round one. Cameron sometimes sat there by himself when he was working on his high school level work while the fully regressed students did work more appropriate with kindergarten level. He crawled, occasionally stopping to sneak a peek at the teachers, who were otherwise engaged and hadn’t noticed him yet.
Liliana watched the big baby in the ducky bib crawl to her. His well padded bottom was in the air, the thick bulge of his diaper clearly visible. She heard the crinkle of his diaper as he got nearer, and she wondered what the little boy was up to. He did not act like the other students, all fidgety and easily distracted- she wondered how regressed he was. If he was regressed at all. He was too aware of what went on around him. He put the paper plate with the cookies on it up on the table next to her, then boldly sat up in the chair next to hers. His head was lowered, gaze focused on his soft, slim hands.
She smiled at him, but with his head lowered, he did not see. The diapered boy with the milk stains on his ducky bib really was adorable, for an overgrown toddler. As he sat down, there was a loud pop as several snaps on his crotch popped open, forced apart by the humongous diaper swaddling him. She glanced down, saw the poppers on his pants open, revealing the snaps on his onesie, which had come undone as well, showing the plastic shell of his bulging diaper. He didn’t seem to notice, leading her to believe it happened frequently to him. She wondered if he knew when he wet or messed himself.
“Hey there, baby boy. What you up to?” Liliana kept her voice light, mimicking how she’d heard the teachers talking to the regression students.
Cameron blushed, ducking his head more, too shy to look at her. The words stuck in his throat. He trembled and wondered what he was doing. Adrenaline made his heart pump and his head buzz. He wanted to say hi to this fascinating creature, to this girl who was scarred just like he was, but fear clogged his throat, nearly making him choke. In answer, he hesitantly took his partially nibbled cookie then pushed the plate towards her, his soft hands shaking.
Liliana raised an eyebrow, wondering if the boy could not talk or if he was just shy. She guessed, from his trembling, he was just very shy. And yet, he was the one who had approached her. Bold, for a little diapered mouse, she thought and her smile widened.
“For me?”. Liliana asked gently, one blonde eyebrow arching. She’d have thought her piercings and makeup alone would have frightened the boy off. The other regressed students had checked her over then quickly looked away with fear on their faces. Lili didn’t look friendly or approachable. But this boy seemed fascinated by her. Maybe he was just from a very controlled environment and had never seen anyone who looked like her- piercings and makeup. Or maybe it was her scars. She knew he saw them when the principal cornered her in the hall, and Cameron had stared out the classroom door. What she had heard about the boy said he was covered in burn scars, so she was sure her own would catch his attention.
Cameron nodded his head. When she didn’t reply and just stared at him, he squirmed in his seat. His diaper crinkled loudly and peered up at her. She just sat there watching him expectantly. He pushed the little paper plate closer to her. He opened his mouth to tell her he was sharing his cookies with her, but that gaze sliced through his courage with razor sharp claws, shredding it ruthlessly. His face got hot, flushing red. He nodded furiously, head bobbing up and down as he looked down.
He couldn’t do this. What had he been thinking? Just- she had scars. Like he did. He was curious. Knowing she had scars made him feel brave enough to approach her. He hated meeting new people, changes in his environment. He liked routine and knowing the people around him. Knowing they would not hurt him. Therapy had taught him not everyone was out to hurt him, had worked with him on learning to meet new people. The old fear bubbled up in his chest, squeezing his lungs, ready to pop into a full blown panic attack.
As he looked down, he noticed the snaps on his jeans had popped open, along with the ones on his onesie, exposing his diaper. His clearly wet diaper. He knew his heavy duty diaper was obvious from the very visible bulge and how loud the crinkle of it was. But this actually exposed his diaper to her razor sharp gaze. Not only was his diaper exposed, but its condition was, too. Wet. Helpless as a baby. The ducky bib, sippy cup and pacifier dangling from his ducky clip were embarrassing but expected in a regression therapy room. But to have her know what he’d done in his diaper….that felt so intimate. So exposed.
His heart skipped a few beats, hammering unpleasantly and his breathing quickened. He felt the tight bubble in his chest pop and a panic attack coming on and let out a garbled squeak. She must think him a daft idiot, a big, stupid, pants pissing baby.
Lili watched the boy’s breath quickening, his chest starting to rise and fall as he shook slightly, starting to fall to pieces in front of her. She did not want to upset him, push him away. She wanted to get closer to him. Not make him cry and hurt him further. She did not care what the teachers would think- they would assume she was bullying the diaper boy, stealing his cookies and would spank her.
She quickly glanced around- Mrs. Vesper was trying to pin down a squirming boy on the changing table, his pants down, diaper open and feet up in the air. The boy kept grabbing at his sock covered toes and trying to shove them in his mouth, preventing the teacher from getting to his diaper. Ms. Sweeney was bent over one of the two girls in the class and helping her with some numbers.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Lili leaned over and gently touched his arm.
Cameron froze at the soft touch, shocked. He tried to answer her but a bubble of nerves tangled in his throat and only a garbled squeak escaped.
Lili couldn’t help it. She laughed. The diapered boy really was adorable in a big baby kind of way. Her laugh, however, apparently was the wrong thing to do.
Cameron flinched at her laugh;it struck him like a whip, ripping deep into the raw nerves and emotional wounds that therapy was helping heal, tearing that emotional wound open again. Gutting him. Tears burned his eyes and he sniffed, slim body shaking more with the depth of his emotions, his hurt, old wounds she had unwittingly ripped open.
Lili’s heart twisted in her chest to see this beautiful boy in such pain. She squeezed his arm, fingers tightening on his blue striped sleeve. "Oh, don’t cry. I’m sorry. I wasn’t laughing at you. Really. Don’t cry. Please. "
Cameron peeked up at her at the panic and worry in her voice. Was she really worried about him, or afraid of getting in more trouble? But she’d mouthed off to the teachers and teased Mrs. Vesper about- about naughty stuff. She wasn’t even afraid of the principal. He doubted she would be afraid of teacher reprimands and punishment…but Ms. Sweeneys paddle hurt! Cameron had never experienced it himself; just seeing other kids get paddled was enough to cow him.
Her gaze caught his. His eyes were full of sparkling tear drops. Those pierced, purple lips smiled gently. " I promise, I wasn’t laughing at you. I just thought your squeak was cute. " Her eyes were warm and sincere as she gazed at him, and he lost himself in their depths.
Cameron’s sunken cheeks bloomed red as a summer rose. “I-I didn’t squeak!” he blurted in a rushed whisper. His nerves and embarrassment still made him shake, but her steady gaze helped calm him, reassure him she was not going to hurt him.
Lili blinked in surprise. “You talked!”
“O-of course I can talk.” He blushed, his voice growing softer, but he kept his eyes locked with hers.
She slumped back in the chair, her hand falling away from his arm. He already missed her touch and wondered why. “I didn’t know you could. You never said a word. Just cute little squeaks like a baby mousie.”
His face grew hot, bravado fading as quickly as it had come. “I j-just-I-” He stuttered, shifting, feeling the ridiculously thick, wet padded bulk of his diaper shift under him noisily. A few loud pops caused him to glance at his heavily padded crotch. More poppers had popped open. Now it was hard to miss his exposed diaper. He thought before she hadn’t noticed but now she was sure to. She would look down and see the big baby’s big diaper. He almost squeaked again but bit his lip.
Lili’s grin grew like a cat who’d found a new toy to play with. She swallowed a laugh so she wouldn’t upset him again. “You’re so shy, cute little mousie.”
He squirmed some more. His entire crotch had popped open. He felt his stomach twinge and rumble. The milk from his nap was working its way through him and would soon have him filling up the seat of his diaper. He vaguely noticed it. Most of the time he didn’t notice or pay attention. The only time he usually realized he had to poop was after the fact, when it filled his diaper. At least it was not stinky thanks to a special medicine his grandma and doctor had him take. He didn’t want to mess himself in front of the pretty, strange girl but he’d have no choice. He had no control, which was why he needed his diapers. Super thick diapers for extra protection.
Liliana was right- he was very shy and he saw no use in denying it. Cute. She said his squeaks were cute. He felt his face grow hot along with his diaper front as another small spurt of pee warmed the already wet padding. Liquids just seemed to run right through him. But that’s why he needed diapers. His care takers- doctors and nurses in the hospital, and nannies when he went home, had commented on how cute or how pretty he was, but this was different. His heart sped up again, making his chest feel funny but not like a panic attack.
He bit his plump, soft, full pink lower lip to silence his nervous, embarrassed squeak and just pushed the place with the cookie on it towards her again. He had to stretch, his diaper rustling loudly, the poppers in his crotch all forced open from the huge bulk of his diaper. The crotch of his pants and onesie hung open like a gaping mouth with rows of round, shiny little teeth and inside that cavern was his obviously wet diaper, still pushing the material out.
His knee bumped hers as he reached to push the cookie in front of her.
“Sowwy.” He mumbled, scooting back in his chair and heard a few more snaps pop open.
The cookie and plate were now right in front of her. “No worries. You really are a shy little baby boy.” Lili’s warm voice oozed over him like warm honey, pleasure warming him up. Washing over him in a gentle wave. He smiled and had the urge to stuff his beloved paci into his mouth. In his panic and nervousness earlier, he’d forgotten about it. He forgot all about his exposed diaper. As his confidence around her grew, he raised his head up to look at her.
“So, you sure?” She held up the cookie questioningly.
He smiled shyly and nodded, picking up his own cookie between slender, soft, girly fingers. Just slap nail polish on and his hands could have belonged to a girl.
Lili’s smile widened, the snake bites moving as her facial muscles stretched. He stared, attention caught by their movement .He wondered how much it hurt getting a crazy place like that pierced.
Lili tapped her cookie to Cameron’s raised one. “Well, cheers then, eh?” she winked as he let out a surprised little squeak, pale face going red as he blushed yet again. She liked making him blush- it was fun gently teasing him, and he was so soft and beautiful. Not just physical beauty- maybe it was because of what he’d been through, because he’d been in regression therapy, but an open innocence shined in his eyes. The innocence of a child, something the adults in Liliana’s life lacked. Something Liliana herself lacked. She loved her grandfather, and Asha, her grandfather’s mistress, but they had their adult games they played. Games Liliana played as well.
In his flustered state, he shoved his entire cookie into his mouth. It was hard and a little chewy but still sweet and yummy. It was a store bought cookie, from a package. Nothing as good as a homemade or bakery bought cookie, all soft and plump and filled with bits of gooey chocolate chunks. The cookie crunched loudly and Lili laughed again, smiling. The little round metal balls below her purple lips twitched with her facial movements. She winked at him before shoving her own cookie into her mouth whole, just like he’d done.