Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Adventures in Scooby Sitting
Passing The Torch Print
FADE IN:
INT. SUMMERS HOUSE - LATER
Mary Jane is sitting on the couch, holding Dawn in her lap.
Janice is sitting next to her, tickling Dawn’s tummy.
Willow is sitting next to Janice, using her laptop.
Anya is sitting in a chair, looking bored.
Buffy: I need to get everyone here.
Anya: Everyone is here.
Buffy: I mean EVERYONE…
She goes to the phone and dials a number.
Gunn: Angel Investigations, what’chu want?
Fred (smiles, playful): Charles, what did I tell you…?
Gunn (sighs): Angel Investigations…we help the hopeless. (quickly) Now what’chu want?
Buffy: Um…Is Wesley there?
Gunn: Don’t know. (calls to her) Fred!
Fred: Yep?
Gunn: Where’s Wes?
Fred: He went out!
Wesley walks through the door.
Wesley: Hello, all. Any calls, Gunn?
Gunn: One chick on the phone right now.
He hands him the phone.
Wesley: Wesley Wyndym-Price.
Buffy: Wesley?
Wesley (surprised): Buffy?
Buffy: Yeah. Can you get everyone down here?
Wesley (confused): I don’t see why not. But…may I ask for what?
Buffy: It’s…it’s a long story. Please, just tell me that you can do this for me.
Wesley (sighs deeply): All right, Buffy.
Buffy: Thank you.
Wesley: We’ll be there soon.
Buffy: Thanks.
She hangs up.
Wesley looks at Gunn and Fred.
Wesley: I need you two to go outside, get the car ready, and don’t ask any questions.
Fred: Wesley, what–
Wesley: Please, Fred…just follow my instructions.
Fred: O–okay…
Wesley: Thank you.
Fred and Gunn go out to the car.
Wesley (sighs): Okay. I hope this is worth it, Buffy.
He walks out to the car and gets in.
(Time Lapse: 2 hours)
The gang walks up to Buffy’s house and knocks on the door.
Buffy opens the door to greet the Angel crew.
Buffy: Hey, guys. Come on in.
Angel: Buffy, this is Charles Gunn and Winifred Burkle.
Buffy (smiles): Hi. Let me introduce you to everyone else. This is Xander Harris, Rupert Giles, Mary Jane Watson, Peter Parker, Willow Rosenberg, Tara Mclay, Janice Whitman, and Faith Lehane.
Gunn: Wussup?
Fred (smiles warmly): Hey, y’all.
Dawn fusses in Tara’s arms.
Fred walks over to Tara.
Fred (smiles): Who’s this little cutie?
Buffy: This is Dawn. (smiles warmly) My daughter.
Faith walks up next to Buffy and kisses her.
Faith: Our daughter.
Fred: She’s just so adorable…can I hold her?
Buffy (smiles): Sure.
Fred takes Dawn from Tara and holds her in her arms.
Fred (cooing): You’re an adorable little cutie, aren’t you, little one? Yes, you are…
She tickles Dawn’s tummy and Dawn squeals with laughter.
Fred: She’s such an adorable little thing, Buffy.
Buffy (smiles): Yeah, she’s certainly special.
Fred (sniffs): But it smells like someone’s got a little problem. (smiles)
Buffy (cooing): Did you make a poopy in your diapie, Dawnie-Dawn? Did’ya? Huh? Huh? Huh?
Fred (cooing): You’re such a good girl, Dawn…such a good girl…
Buffy: Would you want to change her, Winifred?
Fred: Y’all can call me Fred, and sure…if you guys don’t mind.
Buffy: Not at all. Her nursery is in that room over there.
Fred: Thanks. We’ll be out in a bit. (cooing) C’mon, little one…let’s go get you dry…
She takes her into the nursery and lays her on the changing table.
Dawn coos and gurgles up at Fred.
Fred: You’re such an adorable little one, you know that?
She tickles her tummy and Dawn giggles happily.
Fred: Now let’s get that stinky diaper off you, huh? You probably don’t like bein’ all dirty, don’cha? I know the feelin’, sweetie.
Fred takes Dawn’s shirt and pants off and untapes her diaper.
Fred: See…I never told anyone this, but…(whispers) I wear diapers, too. See, back when I was younger, my grandfather died and I startin’ wettin’ the bed. So then my mom and dad put me in night-time diapers. It was humiliatin’ at first, but then I grew to like it. I never wear 'em around Angel and the gang…only at home. I guess…maybe that’s only ‘cause home’s where I really felt I could be myself. Know what I’m sayin’, sweetheart?
She tickles Dawn’s tummy and disposes of Dawn’s dirty diaper in the diaper pail.
Fred (smiles, cooing): You’re such a good little munchkin. Yes, you are…
She blows raspberries on her tummy and Dawn squeals with delight.
Fred (cooing): But we gotta get this diaper change finished, little one, otherwise your mommy might freak. (giggles)
Fred takes her legs in one hand, wiping her bottom the other.
Then Fred takes the baby powder and powders Dawn’s bottom with the hand she used to wipe her bottom, cooing at her as she performs it.
She lets go of her legs and, taking a diaper from the table, opens it and untapes it in one motion.
Fred: We’re gonna get you all cleaned up, Dawnie. Don’t worry.
Dawn giggles and coos.
Fred takes Dawn’s legs and, spreading her legs apart and lifting her bottom from the changing table, slips the diaper underneath Dawn’s bottom and slips it through her legs.
She lets go of the diaper and, before Dawn can start to freely kick again, rushes and tapes the diaper tightly around her waist.
Fred picks her up and holds her in her arms.
Fred: You were such a good girl, Dawnie…Auntie Fred’s got a treat for you.
She hands her a lollypop.
Dawn (giggles): Wowwy-Pop!
Fred (giggles): That’s right, cutie-pie.
She kisses her forehead.
Fred (cooing): Wha’d’ya say we go back out, huh?
As she walks out with Dawn, she throws her up in the air, with Dawn laughing and giggling.
Buffy goes over to Dawn and kisses her.
Buffy: Hey, sweetie-pie. (smiles, to Fred) How was she?
Fred: She was an absolute angel. The only other one that’s ever stayed still for me was a neighborhood boy I used to baby-sit.
Buffy (cooing): She’s such a good girl…that’s right, Dawnie…you are…you’re my wittle girl…
She tickles and kisses Dawn, who giggles and laughs happily.
Buffy: But I gotta put her down for a…(whispers) nap…
Dawn cries and fusses.
Buffy takes Dawn to the nursery and lays her in the bassinette, with her fussing.
Faith walks in.
Faith: B?
Buffy turns to Faith.
Buffy: Yeah?
Faith: Um…do you think I could…
Buffy: Did you want to feed her?
Faith (smiles): Is that okay?
Buffy: I don’t see why not…
She takes Dawn out of the bassinette and hands her over to Faith.
Faith undoes her shirt and takes off her bra.
She begins to breast-feed Dawn.
Faith (smiles): She’s such an adorable little angel…
Buffy sits down next to Faith.
Buffy (smiles): Got that right.
Dawn continues sucking on Faith’s breast.
Buffy (a little hesitant): F…Faith?
Faith looks at Buffy.
Faith: Yeah, B?
Buffy: I have to tell you something.
Faith: What?
Buffy (sighs): This isn’t easy…
Faith: Those who only think something isn’t easy haven’t tried it yet.
Buffy looks at Faith, confused.
Faith: Ex-cons shouldn’t offer sage advice. Whatever. I’m throwin’ ya bull.
Buffy turned her head to look at the embarrassed Bostonian.
Buffy: Doesn’t sound like it.
When Faith didn’t get the jibe she was expecting, she wandered into territory that hadn’t been tread for quite a while, not knowing what the hell she was doing.
Faith: Sometimes tiltin’, uh, has an upside, though. Actually did for me once, then I–
Buffy: Faith, we weren’t ready.
Thankfully one of them had the guts to start this.
Buffy: But I didn’t ever…
She had to get it out.
Buffy: I’m glad it happened. (slight blush) Everything after? That’s the stuff I wanna forget.
Faith: Only time I wasn’t itchin’ to move. And when I didn’t want you gone? Damn, that weirded me out.
Faith was still processing the fact that Buffy didn’t see their one night as a shameful, low point.
Buffy: I could tell. (sighs) Wasn’t like I was any better at handling it, either. The ‘girl’ thing was new, and I’d technically just cheated on my boyfriend who I was in serious denial over, and what we did was…(blushing) being the best sex I’ve ever had didn’t exactly help. Then we just, left it hanging.
Faith: I’m the one who can dish out bull here, B; busted my ass for the title, so–
Buffy: Great, cause I don’t wanna compete for it. I’d lose by a wide margin.
Grinning, Buffy stood up.
Buffy: I wouldn’t lie about this – really was.
Faith (not cocky): Why?
Buffy: Because…because it was. Angel was my first and I loved him, so at the time it was nice, but most of it was him trying not to hurt me. Did anyway. Then I met Angelus, who made sure any good memories were destroyed." She exhaled during a pause. "Parker knew what he was doing, but that just wasn’t…enough. Plus, he was an asshole. Same thing with Riley – well, not the ‘asshole’ part. I kept waiting to fall for him like I had with Angel, only…never happened. The sex wasn’t as ‘Cloud Nine-ish’ as it coulda been. Um, except maybe that time we were possessed. We went all–
Faith clears her throat and points down at Dawn.
Faith: Leaves ‘Bachelor Vamp #2.’ And you had to be spikin’ like jackrabbits. Bet with the strength and the stamina, musta been intense."
Buffy: We did. It was. I used him to feel something, anything; I couldn’t, though. No matter how har…m-much I tried. Disgust came later. (grimacing, morphing into a slow smile) With you, I dunno, everything felt…right. Incredible even, and I was scared.
Faith: Yeah.
Dawn fusses and whimpers around Faith’s breast.
Faith (smiles down at Dawn): I think this little one’s finished.
She puts her over her shoulder and pats her back.
Dawn lets out a loud, monster-like belch.
Buffy (giggles): Attagirl, Dawnie!
Faith (smiles and kisses her): You’re such a little burpin’ machine, kid!
Dawn giggles.
Buffy (smiles): I’ll be in the living room, Faith. I need you to, as soon as you’re dressed, meet me there. I’ve got something I need to do…and I need everyone to be there.
Faith (unsure): Got it, B.
Buffy gets up from the bed and, before kissing Dawn’s forehead, walks out into the living room.
Faith gets dressed and walks out, holding Dawn in her arms.
Buffy: Now…I’ve got to tell you guys something. I feel that…after having Dawn…I…I can’t handle being the Slayer and being a parent at the same time. It was different when it was just me…I didn’t have to worry about, if I died on the job, leaving anyone behind. But now that I’ve had Dawn, I think that I should choose a successor.
Angel: Buffy…are you sure?
Buffy: Yes, Angel. I have to. See, for those of you who don’t know…I was the first Slayer of my generation. Then after I’d died, Xander here brought me back to life. (smiles) Which I’ll never forget, by the way.
Xander (smiles, blushes): It’s what I do.
Buffy: After I’d died and was brought back…Kendra was called in my place, but they didn’t know that I had been resurrected.
Xander (explaining to those who don’t know): Which explains why there were two at once.
Fred (nods, understanding): Wow.
Buffy: But before Kendra had died, she’d given me her lucky stake. Which she’d named…Mister Pointy. Now…
She goes over to Faith and takes her hands, looking into her eyes.
Buffy: Now I’m giving it to you.
Faith (surprised): Y…you’re giving me…your lucky stake? But, B…
Buffy (tenderly): Faith, after I died the second time, there was a reason that no Slayer was brought back…because you’re the true Slayer. Ever since Kendra died, you always had been. I just…never wanted to believe it…until now.
Faith: Wh…what changed?
Buffy (tenderly, sweetly): I love you.
She hands her the stake.
Buffy: I love you, Faith…forever and always.
TIGHT SHOT:
FAITH’S FACE
FADE TO BLACK
GUEST STARS:
J. August Richards as Charles Gunn
Amy Acker as Winifred “Fred” Burkle
Alexis Denisof as Wesley Wyndym-Price
Eliza Dushku as Faith
David Boreanaz as Angel
NOTE: J. August Richards crosses over as his “Angel” character Charles Gunn.
NOTE 2: Amy Acker crosses over as her “Angel” character Winifred ‘Fred’ Burkle.
A Possible New Relationship Print
FADE IN:
INT. SUMMERS HOME - MOMENTS LATER
Willow (smiles warmly): I knew it was only just a matter of time before those two kids got together.
Faith (smiles): I…I love you too, Buffy.
They kiss and everyone cheers.
Dawn cries.
Tara goes over and takes Dawn from Faith, bouncing her in her arms.
Tara (concerned): What’s wrong, sweetheart?
Dawn continues to cry.
Buffy looks over at Tara, walking over to Dawn.
Buffy (concerned): She probably just got startled 'cause of the noises.
She takes Dawn from Tara, holding her in her arms.
Buffy (cooing): Yeah…it’s okay, sweetie. The loud noises are done now…yeah…such a good girl…
She holds her close to her chest.
Dawn whimpers in Buffy’s arms.
Willow (whispers): I think it’s time for Dawnie’s…(spelling it out) N-A-P.
Buffy: Yeah, I think you’re right, Will. (smiles) C’mon, Dawnie…here we go…
Dawn begins to fuss and cry.
Buffy (cooing): Yeah, I know…I know, sweetie…but you had a big day…c’mon…
Faith: Want some assistance, B?
Buffy: Sure, Faith.
She takes her into the bedroom and lays her down in the crib as Dawn continues to cry.
Faith puts the covers over Dawn, but not enough to suffocate her.
Faith (gently): There ya go, sweetie.
Dawn fusses and whimpers.
Buffy: Yeah, sweetheart…it’s okay…just lay down…and close those eyes…
Faith sighs and looks at Buffy.
Faith: You know what we have to do, don’cha, B?
Buffy (sighs): I don’t want to, though…
Faith: You’re amazing, Buffy. Don’t sell yourself short.
Buffy (sighs deeply): Fine, let’s do it. (counting them off) 1, 2, 3.
Buffy (singing in harmony): Every single night, the same arrangement/I go out and fight the fight
Faith (singing in harmony): Still I always feel this strange estrangement/Nothing here is real, nothing here is right
Buffy/Faith (singing): We’ve been making shows of trading blows/Just hoping no one knows/That we’ve been going through the motions/Walking through the part/
Faith (singing): Nothing seems to penetrate my
Buffy (singing sweetly): heart
Buffy (singing): I was always brave and kind of righteous
Faith (singing): Now I find I’m wavering
Buffy (singing): Crawl out of your grave
Faith (singing): You find this fight just doesn’t mean a thing
Spike sticks his head in.
Spike (singing): She ain’t got that swing
Buffy shoots him a dirty look.
Buffy (singing): Thanks for noticing
Spike (singing): She does pretty well with fiends from Hell
Xander sticks his head in as well.
Spike/Xander (singing): But lately we can tell/That she’s just going through the motions/Faking it somehow
Spike (singing): She’s not even half the girl she–
Buffy punches him.
Spike (singing): Oww!
Buffy (singing): Will I stay this way forever?
Faith (singing): Sleepwalk through my life’s endeavor?
Xander (singing): How can I repay-
Faith (singing): Whatever.
Buffy (singing): I don’t wanna
Buffy/Faith (singing): be
Buffy (singing): Going through the motions
Faith (singing): Losing all my drive
Buffy (singing): I can’t even see
Faith (singing): If this is really me
Buffy (singing): And I just wanna
Buffy/Faith (singing): be
Buffy/Faith/Spike (singing softly): Alive…
They see that Dawn has fallen asleep.
Buffy (whispers): She’s asleep.
Faith (whispers): Yeah, and just think, you’ve got your own song to put her to sleep. (chuckles softly) That must feel pretty good, huh, B?
Buffy (grinning): I know you’re insulting my singing talent, Faith…(warmly) but, y’know somethin’? It does. It does feel pretty good.
She leans into the crib and kisses Dawn’s forehead.
Buffy (smiles): Sleep tight, sweetie. Mommy loves you.
She kisses her forehead, then walks out of the room.
She closes the door enough to leave it open a crack, then goes out to join the others.
Buffy: There…she should get some rest. She had a big, long day.
Willow: So have we.
Buffy (sighs deeply): Here’s what I was thinking…Willow, Tara: you two can take my room. I think Faith, Dawn, and I should get Mom’s old room 'cause I think it would be easiest on everyone if Dawn was closest to her parents.
Willow (nods): I totally understand, Buffy.
Tara: Yeah, we’ve got no problem switching rooms.
Willow: Definitely.
She waves her finger.
Willow (grins): There. I just moved all of Dawnie’s stuff into your room…along with a rocking chair for you or Faith to rock her to sleep.
Buffy hugs Willow.
Buffy: Thank you, Will. We really appreciate this.
Willow: No problem.
Buffy (smiles): Let’s get to bed, guys. Janice…you can take the pull-out. M.J?
Mary Jane: Yep?
Buffy (smiles): I’m assuming you’ll be going home to your husband?
Mary Jane: Definitely, definitely. (smiles) Give Dawnie a kiss for me and I’ll see you guys tomorrow morning.
Willow: Nice meeting you, Mary Jane.
Tara: Yeah, it was great getting to know you.
Mary Jane: It was nice meeting you guys too. (smiles) See you later.
She walks out and Willow closes the door.
Willow looks at Tara.
Willow (smiles, giggles): Well, I guess we should be getting to bed.
Tara (giggles): You’re right. It’s getting late.
Willow: Sleep well, Janice. Sweet dreams, you two.
Faith (appreciative): Thanks, Will. Same to you both.
Buffy: Uh-uh. We’re not goin’ to bed yet, Faith.
Faith (smiles): I love the way you think, B. (purrs)
Buffy (giggles): No…not that. (low voice) at least not yet. (speaks): Dawnie needs a bath first.
Faith (smiles): Yeah, you’re right.
The girls walk into the bedroom to find Dawn awake.
Buffy (grins): Look who’s up!
She picks her up and tickles her.
Buffy (cooing): You know what time it is now, Dawnie? It’s bath time! (happily) Yay!!!
She takes Dawnie to the bathroom and lays her on the changing table, with Faith following behind.
Buffy (smiles): Wanna get her diaper off?
Faith: Sure, B. (cooing): Yeah, sweetie…Mommy and Mama are gonna give you a bath and get you all nice and clean.
She rips the left diaper tab, then the right diaper tab.
Buffy (shivers a little): Ooh…
Faith: You okay, B?
Buffy (smiles a little): Fine…I just never…never really got used to that sound.
Faith: Diaper tapes ripping?
Buffy (chuckles): This is why I could never have a baby using disposable diapers…or wear Velcro shoes.
Faith (confused): You never minded it before, B…what changed?
Buffy (smiles a little): Maybe it’s just the fact that I’ve heard it so many times in this situation, I’ve associated that sound with diaper changing.
Faith (smiles): Don’t worry, B. Sooner or later ya won’t even notice it.
Buffy goes to start the water.
She takes off Dawn’s shirt and, taking off her diaper, she lifts her up and sets her in the tub.
Buffy takes the Pampers wipes and begins washing Dawn’s stomach.
Dawn giggles and splashes Buffy.
Buffy (giggles): I think we got ourselves a wittle Splash Monster!
Faith (giggles): Looks like we do!
Buffy continues washing Dawn over with the wet wipes.
She moves her head back gently and begins pouring a cup of water over her hair.
Faith (warning, smiles): Careful, B.
Buffy begins squirting shampoo onto Dawn’s hair and stroking her hair back.
Dawn cries.
Buffy (worried): Oh, sweetie…Mommy’s so sorry! Mommy didn’t mean to get it in your eyes…
Dawn wails.
Buffy kisses her daughter on the cheek many times.
Buffy: Mommy’s so, so sorry…
Dawn whimpers and smiles a little.
Buffy (smiles): Attagirl.
Faith and Buffy continue to wash Dawn over with the cloth.
Faith (smiles): I think she’s done here, B.
Buffy (smiles): Yeah. (cooing): You’re such a good girl, Dawnie-Dawn…
She picks her up and, taking her out of the tub, wraps her in a towel, cleaning her off.
Buffy takes Dawn over to the changing table by the bathtub and lays her on it.
She tickles her tummy and takes her legs in her hand.
Buffy: Faith, grab me a diaper, please?
Faith: You got it, Chosen One.
Faith grabs a diaper.
Faith: Lift.
Buffy, holding Dawn’s feet in one hand, lifts Dawn’s bottom up from the changing table.
Faith slips the diaper underneath Dawn’s bottom.
Faith: Let go.
Buffy lets go of Dawn’s feet.
Buffy: Oil.
Faith puts the baby oil on Dawn’s bottom.
Faith (smiles) (to herself): Never thought I’d be using this for its intended purpose. (chuckles softly)
Buffy: Through.
Faith brings the diaper up through Dawn’s legs.
Faith: Left.
Buffy tapes the left diaper tab.
Buffy: Right.
Faith tapes the right diaper tab.
Buffy/Faith: All right!
They high-five each other.
Buffy picks up Dawn, holding her in her arms.
Buffy (smiles): Now we can go to bed.
Buffy and Faith go into their rooms in one direction, with Willow and Tara going into their rooms in the other direction.
Buffy and Faith take off their shirts and pants, and, in their bras and panties, climb into bed next to Dawnie’s crib.
Buffy looks at Faith.
Buffy (smiles): Sleep tight, Faith.
Faith (smiles): Night, B.
Buffy leans over and turns on the radio, but at a low volume.
The two fall asleep in each other’s arms.
Radio: This is James Williams with the D.A.L.E Action News Forecast. For all you computer fans out there, make sure to save your work often ‘cause there’s a major storm comin’ this way. Next up, we’ve…
FADE OUT
FADE IN:
INT. BUFFY/FAITH’S ROOM - LATER
There is a huge thunderclap outside.
Dawn wakes up in her crib and there’s a thunderclap again.
Dawn begins to cry and fuss.
Buffy moans and tosses and turns in bed.
Dawn continues to cry.
Buffy (moans): I’m comin’, sweetie…(to Faith) Faith…
Faith (moans): What…?
Buffy: Dawn’s up…
Faith moans and slowly gets up.
Buffy and Faith go over to Dawn and Faith takes her out of the crib as Dawn whimpers against Faith’s chest…
Faith (smiles): Hey, munchkin…did de wittle thunderclap scare you? (smiles) It’s otay…everything’s okay…(realizes, grimaces) Ooh…B?
Buffy: Yeah?
Faith: We got a situation here.
Buffy takes Dawn from Faith and tickles her.
Buffy (cooing): Yeah…did Dawnie make a wee-wee in her diapies? I tink she did…
She touches her diaper.
Buffy (squeals happily) (cooing): You did, Dawnie! Such a good girl!
Faith (chuckles): Okay, B; take it easy. (smiles)
Buffy (cooing): We gotta change ya. Yes, we do….yes, we do…
She lays Dawn on the changing table and, unzipping her onesie, untapes her wet diaper.
Dawn fusses a little from being woken up so soon.
Buffy (cooing): Aww, that’s okay, sweetheart…Mommy and Mama are gonna change that diapie, don’t you worry.
Dawn looks up at Buffy.
Dawn (coos): Mommy.
Buffy smiles warmly.
Dawn looks at Faith.
Dawn (coos and gurgles): M…M…Mama.
Faith smiles warmly.
Faith: Oh…oh my God…B, did–did you hear what she—
Buffy (near tears): I–I did…(smiles) Such a good girl…
She takes off Dawn’s wet diaper and, with Faith holding Dawn’s legs, lifts her bottom up from the changing table.
Buffy slips the diaper out from underneath Dawn’s bottom.
As Buffy balls up the diaper and tosses it, Faith has already taken the baby powder and powders Dawn’s bottom.
Faith looks at Buffy and smiles.
Faith: We’re a good team, B.
Buffy smiles at her.
Buffy (smiles): Definitely.
Buffy takes the baby wipes and wipes Dawn’s privates.
Dawn shivers and fusses from the coldness of the wipe.
Buffy (grimaces): Oooh, yeah…I know that’s cold, baby…don’t worry, Mommy’s gonna buy a wipe warmer.
Faith takes out a new diaper and, untaping it and opening it like a pro, hands Buffy the diaper.
Faith: Here ya go…(smiles) Mommy.
Buffy (smiles): Thanks…Mama.
Faith takes Dawn’s legs in her left hand and lifts her bottom from the changing table.
Buffy takes the diaper and slips it under Dawn’s bottom.
Faith lets go of Dawn’s feet and, letting her kick in the breeze, takes the front of the diaper in her hand and, bringing it up through Dawn’s legs, tapes it tightly.
Dawn whimpers.
Faith (smiles): Oops…(cooing) Mama’s sorry, sweetie…
She untapes the diaper, loosening it a little.
Then she tapes it back up.
Faith picks up Dawn in her arms and, taking her over to the crib, lays her inside it.
Dawn fusses and reaches her arms to Faith.
Dawn (fussing): M…M…Mama!
Faith looks into the crib.
Faith (smiles): What’s wrong, sweetheart?
Dawn fusses and tries to reach for her.
Faith picks up Dawn.
Faith: You wanna sleep with Mommy and Mama?
Dawn nods and smiles.
Faith: Okay, sweetheart.
Faith looks at Buffy.
Faith: Is that okay…Mommy?
Buffy (smiles): Definitely.
Buffy and Faith go over to the bed and lay down.
Dawn smiles and strokes Buffy’s hair.
Buffy (smiles): Mommy loves you so much, Dawnie…
TIGHT SHOT:
BUFFY’S FACE
FADE TO BLACK
GUEST STARS:
Eliza Dushku as Faith
James Marsters as Spike
Kirsten Dunst as Mary-Jane Watson
Ben Stiller as Radio Announcer James Williams (voice)
Relocating, Realizations, and Revelations Print
FADE IN:
INT. BUFFY’S HOUSE - MORNING
The sun raises up over Sunnydale, California.
FADE IN:
INT. BUFFY/FAITH’S ROOM - MORNING
Buffy and Faith begin to wake up.
Buffy (moans softly): Morning.
Faith (smiles): Morning, baby.
Dawn cries.
Faith (realizes): Ooh, I think someone needs changing.
Buffy (grins, joking tone): Can’t be me. Tara changed me before I went to bed.
Faith (chuckles): I know.
Buffy (smiles): You want me to do it?
Faith begins to get out of bed.
Faith: Nah, I’ll do it.
She gets up and goes over to the changing table, laying Dawn on it.
Dawn coos and gurgles up at Faith.
Dawn: Mama…
Faith (smiles): That’s right, sweetheart. Mama’s here, and she’s gonna get that icky diapie changed.
Dawn whimpers and smiles.
Dawn: Mama tange diapie.
Faith: Don’t worry, sweetie…Mama’s gonna get you all dry.
She untapes Dawn’s diaper and opens it, finding that Dawn has pooped.
Faith (cooing): Oooh…someone made a big, big poopy in their diapies…(smiles)
She touches Dawn’s nose and she giggles and squeals happily.
Faith, taking Dawn’s legs in her hands, slips the diaper out from underneath her.
She folds it up and tapes it closed, tossing it into the diaper pail.
She takes the baby wipes and wipes Dawn’s bottom, throwing the used wipes in the garbage.
She takes the baby powder and powders Dawn’s bottom.
After that, she takes a new diaper from the bottom of the changing table and, opening it and untaping it, she slips it under Dawn’s bottom and, bringing it up through her legs, tapes it closed.
There is a knock at the door.
Buffy: I got it, Faith.
She gets up and walks downstairs.
Buffy: Hello?
Janice’s Mother: I’m looking for my daughter, Mrs. Summers.
Janice (surprised): Mom!
She gets up.
Janice: Wh–what’re you doing here?
Janice’s Mom: I have something to tell you…(sighs) I got a new job and…
Janice: So you’re just gonna yank me out of school?! Just like that?! Away from my friends?!
Janice’s Mom: N–no…I was actually going to say that if you wanted to stay here, you could.
Janice (ecstatic): Really???
Janice’s Mom (nods): Yes.
Janice runs to her mom and hugs her.
Janice: Thank you, thank you!
Janice’s Mom (smiles): Not a problem, honey.
Janice looks at Buffy.
Janice: C–can I, Buffy?
Buffy (smiles): Of course.
Janice hugs Buffy.
Janice: Thank you so much!
Buffy: You can move into Dawn’s old room. If there’s anything you want in her room, take it. And whatever you don’t want, let me know and I’ll move it into the garage.
Faith comes downstairs, holding Dawn in her arms, who is wearing a red shirt and blue button-up shorts…
Faith (smiles, happily): Look who’s up!
The group go over to her and begin cooing at her.
There is a knock on the door.
Buffy: I got it.
Buffy walks over to the door and opens it.
Xander: Hey, Buff!
Dawn: 'dander!
Xander walks over to Dawn and tickles under her chin.
Xander (smiles): Is this Dawnie? My, you’ve grown so much! You’re de cutest wittle baby in all of Sunnydale!
He tickles her tummy and blows on it.
Dawn squeals and giggles happily.
Xander takes Dawn from Faith and throws her up in the air many times.
Xander (laughs): Whee! Airplane! Whee!!
Dawn squeals with laughter.
Willow: Xand, Tara and I have to move our stuff into Buffy and Faith’s old room. Can you watch Dawnie?
Xander (smiles): No big, you can count on me.
Willow (smiles warmly): I know I always can. (to Tara, Buffy, and Faith) Okay, guys, let’s go.
They walk off.
Xander lays Dawn on the floor and, lifting up her shirt, begins blowing on her tummy.
Dawn squeals and giggles happily.
Xander continues blowing on her tummy and Dawn keeps squealing.
Xander stops for a second and sniffs the air.
Xander: Uh-oh…Will?
Willow walks out, hands free.
Willow (smiles): Need a diaper changing?
Xander: Yeah…(sheepish) Y–yeah, but n–not me…Dawnie.
Willow walks over to Dawn and picks her up.
Willow: Ooh!! Someone made Auntie Willow a BIG present!
She takes Dawn into the nursery and lays her on the changing table.
Willow: Don’t worry, sweetie. Auntie Willow’s gonna get you all cleaned up…
Willow untapes Dawn’s diaper and opens it up.
Willow (giggles): Somebody left Auntie Willow a little more than that…
Willow wipes Dawn’s bottom with the clean end of the diaper.
Willow (cooing): Yeah…we’re gonna get that changed, don’t worry, sweetie-pie…
Dawn coos and gurgles on the changing table.
Willow takes her legs with one hand and lifts her bottom from the changing table.
Dawn: W…W…Wiwwow…
Willow’s face melts with emotion.
Willow (smiling): Oh…sweetie…you–you said my name!
She takes a new diaper and, opening it up, lays it next to her.
Dawn fusses on the table.
Willow: Don’t worry, honey…Auntie Willow wouldn’t do that without wiping or powdering first.
Willow takes the baby wipes and wipes Dawn’s bottom.
Willow (smiles): Attagirl…
Willow takes the baby powder and powders Dawn’s bottom.
Dawn smiles and coos, trying to eat her feet.
Willow giggles.
Willow: You’re such a cute little one…
She tickles her tummy and Dawn squeals.
She takes her diaper and, lifting Dawn’s bottom from the table, slips it underneath her, brings it up through her legs and tapes it closed.
Willow picks her up and pats her bottom.
Willow (smiles widely): You were such a good girl for me, Dawnie. Auntie Willow’s gonna give you a treat.
She gives Dawn a lollypop.
Dawn (smiles): Awweady got one.
She giggles.
Willow smiles and takes Dawn downstairs.
Buffy walks over to Dawn and tickles her.
Buffy: Were you a good girl for Auntie Willow?
Dawn smiles and nods.
Buffy tickles her tummy.
Buffy (smiles widely): Attagirl!
Willow: Yes, she was a very good girl.
Buffy (smiles): I had an idea, guys.
Willow: What, Buff?
Buffy: What’d’ya guys say we…go out tonight? Just a couples’ thing?
Faith: You mean you and me, and Will and Tara?
Buffy (smiles): Yeah. That’s exactly what I was thinking.
Willow (happily): What a coincidence! We had the same idea!
Buffy (laughs): Awesome! Okay, so–so what’re you guys thinking?
Willow (smiles, happily): What does everyone say to a round of miniature golf…followed by a round of frosty chocolate milkshakes??
Buffy (chuckles): I’d say you’ve been watching the “Simpsons” too much. (giggles)
Willow (grins): I know. Seriously, though…how about dinner at a nice restaurant, followed by a movie, followed by miniature golf?
Faith (pleased): I could go for that.
Tara (smiles): Yeah, me too.
Willow turns to Buffy.
Willow: Buff?
Buffy: Yeah! That’d be a great idea, Will!
Willow (grins): Awesome!
Buffy (frowns): Wait…we can’t go.
Willow (realizes): Oh, yeah…forgot…Janice can’t watch Dawn tonight…she’s helping her mom move her stuff in here…
Buffy (sighs): Oh, well…it was a nice idea while it lasted.
There is a knock on the door.
Buffy goes to it and opens it.
M.J (excited and ecstatic): You’re not gonna believe this!
Buffy (giggles): What, what???
M.J (squeals happily): Peter and I are moving in across the street!!
Buffy squeals happily, as does M.J.
M.J: Yeah! We just signed the papers at the realtor’s office and we’re moving into Janice’s old house. (smiles) Right now we’re staying at the Sunnydale Inn, but I just couldn’t wait to share the good news.
Willow (smiles): That’s awesome!!
Tara (smiles widely): Congratulations, M.J!
M.J: So what’re you gals up to?
Buffy: Well, we were gonna go out, but we realized that, since Janice is packing her stuff up, there’s nobody to stay with Dawnie.
M.J: I can stay with her, if you want.
Dawn squeals and giggles and claps her hands.
Buffy and the girls look over at her.
Buffy/Willow/Faith/Tara/Mary Jane (touched): Awww…(smiles)
M.J: Yeah, that’s no problem at all. Don’t worry about it.
Buffy walks over to Dawn and takes her in her arms.
Buffy: Y’hear that, Dawnie? Auntie M.J’s watchin’ you tonight!
Mary Jane smiles, touched by the status that she’s just earned.
Buffy: Okay, now the emergency numbers are by the refrigerator, the baby food is in the cupboards, the diapers are underneath the changing table which is down the hall in our room…“our” being myself and Faith, and, um…anything I’m forgetting?
M.J: What time does she go to bed?
Buffy: About 9:30.
M.J: Does she have any kind of routine?
Buffy: Usually a bath, then a diaper change, then we read her a story.
M.J: Okay, no problem. (smiles)
Buffy: If you’ve got any questions, here’s the number for the restaurant we’re staying at.
She hands Mary Jane the card.
Buffy: Just call if there are any problems.
Mary Jane (smiles): I’m sure there won’t be.
Buffy: Okay…(smiles) We’ll be back later tonight.
Mary Jane: Have a good time, guys.
Willow: Thanks, M.J
Mary Jane (grins): See ya tonight!
Buffy walks over to Dawn and kisses her.
Buffy: Mommy’ll be back later tonight, sweetheart. Until then, M.J’s gonna watch you.
Dawn: Yay!!
Buffy (smiles): Mommy loves you, sweetie. Always.
Faith: B, we gotta go. If we’re not there in ten minutes, they’ll give away our table.
Buffy: Right. (smiles): Let’s go, guys. (cooing) Bye, Dawnie! Mommy loves you!
They walk out of the house and close the door.
Dawnie coos and gurgles to M.J.
Mary Jane carries Dawn over to the highchair and sets her into it.
Mary Jane: You want some food, sweetheart?
Dawn (chanting): Fud! Fud! Fud!
Mary Jane giggles.
Mary Jane: Okay, Dawnie…let’s see what your mommy left.
She looks in the cupboards.
Mary Jane (reading the labels): Strained Peas….Strained Beef…Strained Spaghetti and Meatballs…Strained Carrots…
Dawn squeals happily.
Mary Jane (smiles): Winner, huh?
She takes the jar and, going over to Dawn, sets it in front of her.
She takes out a spoon and unscrews the top of the jar.
Mary Jane: Okay, sweetheart…here comes the airplane…(making airplane noises)
Dawn giggles and squeals.
Mary Jane plays airplane with her, as she puts the food in her mouth.
Mary Jane: You’re such a good girl, my little sweetie pie!
Dawn giggles happily.
(Time Lapse: 10 minutes)
Mary Jane (smiles): There! All done!
Dawn fusses and whimpers.
She takes Dawn out of her highchair and feels the bottom of her diaper.
Mary Jane: Oooh…(cooing) Did Dawnie-Wannie make a poopy-woopy in her diapie-wipie?
Dawn fusses.
Dawn: Dawn poopy…Emm-Day tange…
Mary Jane: Don’t worry, honey…M.J’ll change that dirty diaper…don’t you worry.
She takes her over to the bathroom and lays her on the changing table.
Mary Jane slips off Dawn’s shirt and unsnaps her shorts.
Mary Jane (playful): Oooh…someone left their babysitter a big, big present! (cooing) Didn’t she? Didn’t she? Yes, she did…
As Mary Jane leans down to Dawn’s stomach, tickling her:
Mary Jane (cooing): yesyesyesyesyes…
Dawn smiles and giggles.
Mary Jane takes off Dawn’s shorts and sets them aside.
M.J: All right, sweetie-pie, here we go…(smiles)
She untapes Dawn’s diaper and opens it up.
M.J: Ooh! Someone’s got a big poopy for Emm-Day! (smiles) And it looks really wet, too! Attagirl, Dawnie! You’re such a good, good girl!
She tickles her tummy and Dawn squeals with laughter.
Mary Jane takes Dawn’s legs in her hands and, taking a smooth, disposable washcloth, wipes Dawn’s bottom.
Mary Jane (cooing): Who’s a dirty girl? Huh? You’re the wittle dirty girl!
She tickles Dawn’s tummy and she giggles.
Mary Jane, after wiping Dawn’s bottom, disposes of the washcloth.
Mary Jane (smiles): Let’s get this powder on you, sweetie pie…so you don’t get a wittle rash.
Mary Jane puts the baby powder on Dawn’s bottom.
Mary Jane (smiles): Ready for your new diapie, sweetheart?
Dawn giggles.
Mary Jane: Here we go. (giggles)
She takes a new diaper from the bottom of the changing table and, opening it up, lifts Dawn’s bottom from the table and, slipping the diaper underneath, brings it up through her legs and tapes the tabs closed.
Mary Jane smiles and picks her up.
Mary Jane (cooing): Such a good girl!
Dawn yawns.
Mary Jane (cooing): Oooh….someone’s a tired little one…let’s go get you in your jammies, sweetheart…
She takes her to Buffy and Faith’s room and lays her on the changing table.
She takes out her pink onesie and, unzipping it, dresses Dawn in it.
Mary Jane picks her up.
Mary Jane (smiles): Attagirl…
She takes her downstairs and, going to the cupboard for a bottle, puts it into Dawn’s mouth.
Dawn sucks eagerly on the bottle, smiling around it.
M.J goes back upstairs and sits in the rocking chair by Buffy and Faith’s bed.
M.J (cooing): Want Emm-Day to read you a story, sweetie?
Dawn: Moon!
M.J (giggles): You wanna read “Goodnight, Moon”? (smiles) Okay, sweetie.
She takes the book out and opens it up.
She fixes it so that Dawn can see the pictures.
As she rocks back in forth in the chair:
M.J (reading): Hello Moon, Goodnight Moon, Goodnight cow jumping over the moon…
She looks at Dawn to find that she’s fast asleep.
M.J (smiles): That was quick.
She slowly gets up and sets Dawn in her crib.
There is a key in the lock and Mary Jane goes downstairs to find the group coming home.
M.J: How was it, guys?
Buffy (smiles): Awesome.
Willow (smiles widely): Such a blast!
Faith (grins): Yeah, one of the best nights of our lives!
Buffy: How was she?
M.J: Such a good little baby. She didn’t fuss when I fed her, she didn’t squirm when I changed her, and I got not even ten words out in “Goodnight, Moon” before she zonked out.
Buffy (smiles): That’s great, Mary Jane. What do I owe you?
M.J (happily): Don’t worry about it. Just have a good night, guys.
She starts to walk out.
Buffy: M.J, wait!
She stops and faces Buffy.
M.J: Yep?
Buffy: Um…this might be a little spontaneous, but…the daycare centre that we’re working at is hiring…would you want to…
M.J (smiles): Sure! I love kids and…well, the bookstore pays, like, nothing…Sure, I’ll do it!
Buffy (grins): Great! We have to go tomorrow for work, but hopefully we’ll see ya there.
M.J: Definitely. (smiles warmly) Have a good night, guys.
Willow (grins): You too, Mary Jane.
Mary Jane walks out of the house and closes the door.
Buffy: I’m just gonna go…check on Dawnie.
Faith: Yeah, I’ll come with you, B.
The two go upstairs.
Willow (smiles, invitingly): Shall we?
Tara (grins): You read my mind.
Willow and Tara link hands and, kissing each other passionately, head to their room.
Meanwhile, Buffy and Faith have just walked into their room, also hand-in-hand.
Buffy walks up to the crib to find Dawnie fast asleep, thumb in her mouth.
Buffy (whispers): She’s so adorable…
Faith walks up beside Buffy, watching Dawn.
Faith (whispers): Yeah…
She looks at Buffy.
Faith (sincerely): She takes after her mother.
Buffy smiles and kisses Faith.
Faith kisses Buffy back.
Buffy: I love you so much.
Faith: I love you too.
Buffy smiles warmly.
Faith: Do you?
Buffy (giggles): I do.
Faith takes Buffy over to the bed.
Faith: Ready?
Buffy: Always.
Faith: Okay. Here we go. You know the rules.
Buffy lays down on the bed.
Faith: Okay.
As she takes off Buffy’s pants, we pan over to the window. Just then…
We hear a diaper tape rip.
CUT TO BLACK
GUEST STARS:
Eliza Dushku as Faith
Markie Post as Janice’s Mother
Amber Tamblyn as Janice
Kirsten Dunst as Mary-Jane Watson
One Surprise After Another Print
FADE IN:
BUFFY AND FAITH’S ROOM - MOMENTS LATER
Buffy hears the diaper tape rip and wakes up, surprised.
Buffy unzips her pants and pulls them down a little, seeing that she’s wearing panties.
Buffy (sighs deeply): Just a dream…
She goes back to sleep.
ZOOM IN:
BUFFY’S FACE
FADE IN:
INT. NURSERY – DAY
We see someone on a changing table, presumably Dawn, cooing up at Faith.
From the view of the toddler, we see Faith looking down at the figure on the changing table.
Faith (cooing): Yeah…it’s okay, sweetheart…don’t worry….we’re gonna change that diaper, don’t worry, baby…
The toddler cries and fusses on the table.
Faith: No, no…hold still, sweetie…shh…be a good girl for Faithy while she changes you…shh…
Faith takes the toddler’s legs in her hand and begins wiping the toddler’s bottom.
The toddler continues crying and squirming.
Faith: Sweetie…please be a good girl and hold still…
The toddler continues to cry, kick, and squirm.
Faith: Okay, that’s enough!
Faith slaps the toddler’s thigh and the toddler wails.
Faith: That’s what you get for squirming while Faith changes you! You’ve been a very bad girl!!
We see the toddler’s face.
It’s Buffy…and she’s sobbing her eyes out.
CUT TO:
INT. BUFFY/FAITH’S ROOM – LATE NIGHT
Buffy wakes up with a start, panting.
Faith looks over at her.
Faith (concerned): B? You okay?
Buffy: N–…I don’t know…I–I…I gotta get outta here for a bit. C–can you watch Dawnie?
Faith (surprised a little): S…sure, B. No problem.
Buffy: Thanks, Faith.
She goes over to the crib, and leans down, kissing Dawn on the forehead.
Buffy (smiles): Mommy loves you, sweetie. Don’t worry, I’ll be back very, very soon.
She looks back at Faith.
Buffy: Thanks, Faith.
Faith: No problem, B.
Buffy smiles again, then walks out of their room.
She gently walks downstairs and, quietly opening the door, she walks out and, closing the door, goes down the street.
She walks up to the pharmacy.
She exhales.
Buffy: Here I go…
She walks into the pharmacy and goes to the diaper aisle.
Buffy (quietly to herself): Hmm…Pampers Size 6…I don’t know if they’d fit…(sighs) Well…
She takes the package then goes up to the counter, handing it to the cashier.
The cashier gives her a look.
Buffy (covering): These are for my little sister. My cousin’s watching her at home.
The cashier, seeming satisfied with the explanation, rings up Buffy’s purchase and puts the diapers into a bag.
Buffy takes the bag and, giving her a polite smile, leaves the pharmacy, going back to her house.
She turns the key in the lock, quietly, and opens the door.
Without waking anyone up, she closes the door quietly.
She walks up to her room and, going to the closet, she stashes the bag of diapers in the closet.
She sighs deeply and then goes to bed and, snuggling up next to Faith, falls asleep.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN:
INT. SUMMERS HOUSE - MORNING
The birds begin tweeting and Buffy slowly moans and wakes up.
Buffy shakes Faith a little.
Faith (moans): I don’t wanna go to school today, Mommy…
Buffy (stifles a laugh): Faith…it’s me…Buffy.
Faith (moans): B…?
She blinks and slowly gets up.
Faith: What’s goin’ on?
Buffy: We gotta get ready…
Faith: For what?
Buffy: Work.
Faith (moans): I’m callin’ in sick today…
She throws the covers over her head.
Buffy: No, no…Faith, we’re going to work today and there’s nothing you can say or do to get out of it.
Faith: I can say I’m dead. Let’s get Angel in here to kill me. If I’m dead, they have to fire me.
Buffy (sighs): Faith…let’s get ready…we have to go to work…
Faith (moans): No…don’t wanna…
Buffy yanks the covers off of Faith and throw them by the closet.
Faith (sighs): I can’t believe you…
She gets up, rubs her eyes, and goes over to the closet, grabbing her blankets.
She notices something inside the closet.
She pushes the door open, while Buffy’s not looking, and sees the package of diapers.
Faith (thinking): Why would B need these diapers…? Dawn’s not even wearing that size yet…Hmm…
She looks back at Buffy.
Faith: Just let me get ready, then we can go.
Buffy: Awesome, I’ll be downstairs.
She goes to leave, then sticks her head in.
Buffy: Oh…can you…
Faith: I’ll take care of Dawn, don’t worry.
Buffy: Thanks, Faith.
She leaves the room and goes downstairs.
Willow, Tara, and Janice are all downstairs, having breakfast.
Buffy comes downstairs, dressed in a short-sleeved white T-shirt and blue jean shorts.
Buffy: Good morning, guys!
Willow (smiles): Mornin’, Buffy!
Tara: Hey, Buffy! Sleep well?
Buffy: Not bad.
Tara: Where’s Dawnie?
Buffy: Faith’s lookin’ after her while she gets dressed.
Faith comes downstairs, with Dawn in her arms, giggling.
Faith (grins): Guess who I’ve got??
Willow, Tara, and Janice go over to Dawn and coo and babytalk to her, tickling her.
Dawn giggles and squeals happily.
Buffy: We oughta get goin’, guys. They’re real strict about being on time.
Willow: She’s right, we gotta go. We can eat at the daycare centre.
Faith (scoffs, in disbelief): Juice and crackers?
Willow (laughs): No, Faith; the staff gets regular food.
Buffy: Okay, guys…let’s get goin’.
Buffy, Willow, Tara, and Faith, holding Dawn, leave the house, going to the daycare centre.
INT. SUNNYDALE DAYCARE CENTRE - LATER
The group walks into the daycare centre, going down the hallway to room 314.
They open the door to find that it’s a little calmer than last time.
There are still toddlers crying, but not as many are squirming on the changing tables.
Buffy walks up to Emma.
Buffy: Hey, Emma.
Emma: Hey. (smiles) Guess what?
Buffy: What?
Emma: We have a new employee.
Buffy: Really? What’s her name?
Emma: Who said it was a her?
Buffy looks confused.
Emma: Just kidding, Buffy. (smiles) I just have to go and check the sheet. We’ve got at least sixty different applicants coming in over the course of the months.
Buffy (laughs): Sixty? Wow…that’s amazing.
Emma (laughs): Well, daycare’s a demanding business. Just a sec, Buffy. I’ll go over to the sheet and check and see who’s coming in today.
Buffy: Thanks, Emma. I appreciate it.
Emma: No problem.
She leaves to go and check the sheet.
Buffy looks at Faith.
Buffy (worried): Faith, you changed Dawn, right?
Faith: Yeah, B. Don’t worry, she’s dry.
Buffy: You gave her a bottle, right?
Faith: Yeah, B. Don’t worry. She’s been fed, too.
Buffy: Okay. Just double-checking.
Faith (chuckles): B, I’m her mother too, don’t worry. I have just as much experience as you in this situation.
Buffy: Well…
Faith (laughs): Okay, fine; be picky.
Buffy (sighs deeply, ashamed): I’m sorry, Faith. I didn’t mean to try to call your parenting abilities into question…I really do admire your ability with Dawn. You’ve changed her, you’ve fed her, you’ve burped her, you’ve even sang to her…you’re probably one of my favorite people to look after Dawn. (smiles warmly) I’m extremely happy to have fallen in love with you, and I know that, over the course of time, that’s the one thing that I will never stop believing.
Faith smiles and kisses Buffy.
Faith: Thank you, B…(warmly) Buffy. I really appreciate it.
Buffy: No problem, Faith. You don’t have to thank me. I’m happy enough to get to know you these past three years.
Emma comes back with the sheet.
Emma: We found out who’s joining us.
Buffy: Who?
Emma: Valerie and Holly Tyler.
Buffy: Oh…well, how much experience do they have?
Emma: They have very decorated records from many babysitters. But don’t worry, Buffy…I’m sure they’ll be fine.
Buffy: I hope so… 'Cause if they want to look after Dawnie, they’ll have to talk to me first.
Emma (gently): Buffy, I know you’re her mother, and I can understand you wanting to protect her, but trust me…they’ve got plenty of experience and they know what they’re doing.
Willow: Buffy, Emma’s right. You don’t have to worry about Dawn. If there’s any problems, then you’ll immediately know about it.
Buffy (sighs): I guess so.
A little boy, around 2, tugs on Buffy’s pant leg.
Buffy kneels down to him.
Buffy (cooing): What’s up, little guy?
Boy (pouts): Daipie…
Buffy takes the boy in her arms.
Buffy (smiles, cooing): Ah, you need a diapie change, huh? Okay, let’s get you all cleaned up…
She takes the boy over to the changing table and lays him down, fastening the safety strap.
The boy pouts and points down to his diaper.
Boy (pouts): Poopie…
Buffy (smiles warmly, sniffs): Yes you did, sweetie. But don’t worry, I’m gonna get you all clean.
She untapes his diaper and opens it.
Buffy (smiles): Whooo…someone’s got a real poopy diaper…
The boy giggles.
Buffy (playful): Oh, you like that, don’cha? (giggles)
She takes his legs in her hand and, lifting his bottom from the changing table, wipes his bottom with the clean end of the dirty diaper, slips it out from under him.
The boy giggles up at Buffy.
Buffy (cooing): You’re such a good boy…
Taking his legs in her hand, she takes a box of baby wipes from the counter and, opening it, takes a baby wipe, wiping the boy’s dirty mess from his bottom.
Boy: Cwean…
Buffy (smiles): That’s right, sweetie…all clean.
She takes out the baby powder and powders the boy’s bottom.
The boy sneezes a little.
Buffy (giggles): Bless you, sweetheart.
She takes a new diaper from the bottom shelf of the changing table.
Buffy (smiles, cooing); There we go, little guy…can you lift that bum up for me?
The boy raises his bum from the changing table.
As Buffy slides the diaper underneath him:
Buffy (cooing): Attaboy…such a good boy.
The boy begins to spray a stream of urine at Buffy.
Buffy dodges it by ducking down.
Buffy stands back up.
Buffy (cooing): Missed me, sweetheart!
She tickles him and he giggles.
Buffy: Now let’s get this diapie on you.
She brings the diaper up through his legs and tapes it closed.
Buffy unstraps him from the changing table and picks him up, holding him in her arms.
Buffy (cooing): Such a good boy…
She tickles him, and he giggles happily.
She sets him on the floor and pats his bottom.
Buffy (smiles): There, cutie. Go play.
Meanwhile, Faith is over on the other side of the room, looking around at everything.
Faith: Hmm…cubbies, changing tables, bathroom, cupboards, sinks, and a buncha other stuff.
A boy, looking around 6, walks up to Faith.
Boy (embarrassed): Hi…
Faith (smiles): Hey there, dude. (confused) Aren’t you a little old to be in this room?
Boy: My mommy put me in here 'cause she wants to (mocking) keep an eye on me.
Faith: Does your mom work here?
Boy: No…she just put me in daycare 'cause she put me in diapers.
Faith (frowns): I’m sorry to hear that, little dude.
Boy: Yeah, she makes me drink from a baby bottle, a sippy cup, and she makes me suck a pacifier. She’s also got a crib and a change table in my room.
Faith (frowns, surprised): Oh my God…
She hugs him.
Faith: You poor little guy…
The boy begins to cry.
Faith (comforting): I’m so sorry…
She stops hugging him and looks at him.
Faith: Tell you what, sweetheart, do you need to be changed?
The boy nods, unhappily.
Faith: Okay, well, tell you what: if you let me change you, then I’ll make a special trip to the pharmacy just for you…for some underwear.
Boy: Yay!!
He hugs her.
Boy: Oh, thank you! Thank you!
Faith smiles.
Faith: You’re welcome, buddy. Now let’s get you changed.
She takes his hand and takes him over to a mat.
The boy lays down on the mat.
Faith (cooing): Attaboy…don’t worry, sweetie…Faith’ll know what to do…
She slips off his pants and, setting them aside, untapes his diaper.
The boy fusses as the cold air hits his privates.
Faith (concerned): Aww, it’s okay, sweetie.
She takes his legs in his hand and, taking a baby wipe, wipes his bottom.
She takes a bottle of baby powder and powders his bottom.
Faith (smiles): You’re such a good boy…
The boy giggles.
Boy: Thank you…F…Faith…
Faith (giggles): No problem, sweetie-pie.
Faith takes out one Huggies Pull-Up and slips it through his legs.
The boy looks down at the Pull-Up and fusses.
Faith (concerned): Aww, sweetheart, don’t worry. Faithy’s just putting this on you before she goes to pick up some undies for you. Also she’s putting it on you because that way you don’t have to wear a diaper…
Two girls walk into the daycare centre.
Emma walks up to them.
Emma: Valerie and Holly Tyler?
Valerie: Yep.
Holly: Yep.
Emma: Welcome to the Sunnydale Daycare Centre. (smiles) I read your résumé and I’m very impressed with your work with children.
Valerie: Why, thank you!
Emma: Now which areas are you proficient in?
Valerie: I’m skillful in all areas: diapering…feeding, both bottle and breast…putting them to bed…I’ve been a licensed babysitter for at least five years.
Emma: You’re experienced in diapering, right? Both cloth and disposable?
Valerie: Um…mainly just disposable.
Emma (smi
