ClawdiaWolf, The Site, New (old) techs, and a plea for help

so… yeah… this post is hard for me write for several reasons. The biggest one is that I have the unpleasant job of informing you of some things that have happened in the last several months. Things that have been mostly kept quiet. For those who are regulars in the chat and know the specifics of that situation, if it’s not in this post it is NOT for public consumption at this time. Seriously, don’t try me on this as I’ve already got enough shit on my plate to deal with as will be obvious from the rest of this post.

Also, just as major disclosure here: There are a lot of details that are being left out to protect Clawdia’s privacy and because they are things that while they are important, they only need to be known by the forum staff members. This information was disclosed to them back in November. There will be some information that’s new to them, but that is only because I promised Clawdia I would not reveal this information until absolutely necessary.

So onward to adventures in babysitting taking care of someone with a serious medical problem and why it has affected things around here.

So, for those who aren’t aware of this, I am Clawdia’s wife. I am known as @Penguin here, and Penny on IRC. Yes, I use my real name in the chat room. I’m also the person who has pretty much been doing all the technical admin work since the middle of November. I cannot and will not go into specifics (staff know the what and why here) but in November I had no choice but to force Clawdia to turn over those duties to me. In fact if you’ve seen her account online since November 19th, 2018, it has actually been me on that account, not her. Clawdia’s health took a major downturn in November. It was building for months though, and I seriously regret that I wasn’t paying enough attention to what was going on with her online interactions. The chat in particular was… telling… when I got a good look at the logs leading up to her decision to stop visiting the chat.

The behavior of the bots in particular should have been a warning sign, but like an idiot I just assumed that it was silly randomness based on what was playing on her computer. Some of it was, some of it was not. The parts that were not really were a warning of things to come.

Long story short, in early November things were said in the chat that led to Clawdia having a severe mental health breakdown. Originally she was just going to take a break and let me handle things. Keyword “originally”

Things quickly went downhill over the next few hours. While I convinced her to turn over complete control of the VPSes and domains to me she got progressively more angry and agressive towards, well, everyone really. I had convinced her to self-admit to a mental health facility the next day. That… well that went badly. Very, VERY badly. There are not words to accurately describe how badly. It ended up being an emergency admit to a long term facility. And mind you, I had to pretend things were normal here and elsewhere. I literally had to pretend for over a month to be her to keep people from finding out what had happened.

Since then I’ve done my best to keep things running and while she was in the facility I basically kept things running as best I could. The chat regulars will remember that as part of that situation I had to rebuild the VPS from scratch. I actually had to rebuild the forum’s VPSes as well. This is where the redundant hosts came in handy. The only real downtime was when I ran the vBulletin upgrade that required me to put the board into maintenance mode for a short time.

So, essentially what really happened is that Clawdia had been hiding the symptoms of the condition that was developing very well. What was actually wrong with her is she was developing early onset dementia. Because she was able to hide the symptoms from me and even her doctors so well it was fairly well advanced before it was discovered after she was committed. A few months ago she was finally released from the facility she was put in back in November. Due to her condition there were certain conditions that they insisted on as part of her being allowed to come home. Those conditions were:

  • She absolutely could not have access to this site or the chat
  • Her internet access needed to be monitored. (the reason for this is [b]not[/b] included here and I will not explain it privately so don't ask.)
  • She must be in a day treatment program. (This one relates to why I'm writing this now. See below.)
  • She absolutely could not under any circumstances be left at home alone.
  • For her safety she needs to wear a GPS monitor.

So yeah, as you can imagine this has not been easy to deal with. It was mostly okay until a recent event got her kicked out of the only day treatment program that was really able to handle someone like Clawdia and was covered by her insurance.

This left me in a bit of a spot because the condition about her not being able to be home alone means I have work from home at a pay-cut or I have to have a sitter stay with her while I’m at work. Again, her insurance sucks so they’ll only pay for so many hours per week. Specifically, 15 hours without me having to pay a co-pay. So what saving I had managed to save up has been slowly eaten away by the co-pays and paying bills, especially our cellphone bill. That may seem like a low priority bill, but it’s really not. Her GPS monitor is linked to our cellphone account. She technically has 2 as her Apple Watch acts as one as well for situations where her regular monitor can’t be worn.

One thing I should note is that there is a program one of her two insurances will pay for that will take her, but while the co-pays are cheaper than the sitters’ they’re still more than I can reasonably afford with my salary and her disability income.

So here’s where things sit for us now. Thanks to a car we sold her sister that her sister never f***ing registered I had issues renewing my license earlier this month. I ended up having to pay a bunch of fines because of her. I ended up using the funds that should have been used to pay the cellphone bill and for Clawdia’s co-pays for the sitters.

I hate asking this, I really do, but if you can help in anyway with donations to help I would appreciate it. After doing some… less than legal… things to pay the cellphone bill we’re massively in the hole right now. Don’t worry, this sight is paying for itself now via donations so the site isn’t any danger of going offline. I can’t say the same for myself. If I don’t get some help then next month I’ll lose either my regular internet or the cellphones and the latter is an issue as I’ve already pointed out.

Right now any amount would help. I know Clawdia hasn’t always been the friendliest to deal with (and hell I’ve been known to make her look friendly in comparison at times) but until her health started to decline in the later half of 2018 she did her damnedest to keep this site going. And the reality is I want to be able to spend as much time as possible with her. I was informed when she was released that I would have a year at most with her before she’d have to be placed in a long term care facility. So I ask not so much for my sake, but hers. If you can help, please, please do. Any of the methods listed on the Donations Info page will work. PayPal is the best option, but if you want to use a credit card via a Square Invoice they are a good alternative as the money will deposit directly into the account that Clawdia’s co-pays are paid from and isn’t the one that’s actually overdrawn at the moment.

If you have any questions feel free to post them here or PM me and I’ll do my best to answer them. Just understand that I promised Clawdia I wouldn’t discuss some specifics her situation so my answer may have to be “I can’t answer that” but I absolutely will answer what I can.

I’d love to help here, but I’m already at my limit for what I can do with that monthly commitment.

I found a little, Ain’t much but hope it helps

I understand.

Unrelated but unless you born on D-Day, you should probably PM my normal account with your actual birthday so I can fix it :wink: (Should be painfully obvious, but this is @Penguin on the test account I was using to troubleshoot the bug you brought to light :P)

Believe me, every little bit helps. :slight_smile:

I just got some extra money back on my taxes, so I sent some too.

Sorry to hear the bad news. I’ll do a little something to help out right now I have little to no income coming in myself.

I donated what I could. It’s not much but I hope it helps.

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