WHAM’s one good non-Christmas song was being piped into the massive corporate office of PharmaCorp when Mattie began his rounds. Appropriate, because Matthew was full on jitterbugging and wide awake.
“Morning Karen! Morning Meredith!” Mattie performed his usual mail sorting routine with an added amount of pep in his step. “Morning Joe!” Heh. Morning Joe. That meant coffee! Mattie couldn’t help but feel bright eyed and bushy tailed!
The last several days he’d slept better than he’d ever remembered. His eyes would close, his breathing would slow, and the next thing he knew he’d wake up feeling refreshed. All it took was laying down and taping on a fresh diaper. No more fear of sleeping in wet sheets, all cold and clammy.
Mattie felt so great about it, that it hadn’t even registered to him that waking up in a wet bed hadn’t been something he’d been afraid of until a very short while ago. Nor did it occur to him that waking up with his thumb in his mouth was unusual.
The diapers were super comfortable, too. Comfortable enough that as soon as he got home from work that he’d tape himself into a nighttime diaper, sit at his laptop and then do the real work of going through PharmaCorp’s files.
Without the need for potty breaks, Mattie could spend a whole lot longer combing through code and communications from multiple departments for any sign of new plans, business deals, anything that might give a clue to their next move. More than just advertising notes could be found once he figured out where to look.
For example, based on manufacturing orders placed to China, Mattie had figured out that PharmaCorp was getting more and more materials for plastic backed diapers, while scaling back it’s cloth-like components. They’d scored a hit with old-school gendered diapers…maybe they were trying to bring plastic backed…back? Cash in on nostalgia a second time?
Maybe. More digging was needed.
Regardless, Mattie was certain that if it weren’t for his diapers and not having to go to the potty as often, he wouldn’t be able to be burning the candle at both ends like he was. They were so comfy and made him feel safe. His regular, boring, big kid underwear felt flimsy and useless. So useless, in fact, that Mattie hadn’t bothered to wear them the last two days. He was going easy breezy while at work and then would go home to pad up for the ultimate double shift.
TOILET! Matthew didn’t have to go to the toilet as often! Not the potty! Only babies used that word, and Mattie was a big ki-…grown-u……adult. Matthew was an adult. And he wasn’t going easy breezy; he was going commando! Yeah! Commando!
What had he been thinking?
“Mattie?” A voice snapped him out of his confusion. “Are you alright, dear?”
Mattie looked to his co-worker. “Yeah, Doris. Why?”
The older woman smiled softly at him. “You’ve been standing there fidgeting like a three-year old who can’t decide whether he needs to go potty or not.”
Mattie felt a blush heat up the sides of his face. “Sorry,” he said. “Just…lost in thought, I guess.”
“Sure, sure,” Doris agreed. “I get it. It’s payday and you’re already figuring out how to spend your first check this weekend. We’ve all been there.”
Mattie blinked. “Uh-huh.” He started to push the mail cart away, embarrassed that he’d been unable to split his focus as well as he normally did. Usually, he’d been able to push the cart down the various aisles and cubicle mazes, deliver mail, and keep an eye out for unattended machines to get access to all while talking to himself to build up his confidence and motivation. It was easier than being able to walk and chew gu-
“You’re doing it again.”
Doris tapped her pen on her desk. “Are you sure you don’t have to go potty?”
Like a knee being hit with a hammer, Mattie bobbed his head. “Yeah, Miss Doris. I’m sure.”
“Okay, cutie, keep going.”
Mattie did, even as he blushed. Miss Doris was a little old for him, almost Mrs. Northeaster’s age, but he liked being called cute. His hand came off the cart and his thumb started to inch up towards his mouth. “The fu-?”
Matthew stopped himself and kept along his delivery route. Maybe he hadn’t slept as well as he thought he had. It was more like an anesthetic sleep come to think of it. A lack of consciousness as opposed to true rest. That explained why he was having such trouble focusing. It didn’t explain what he almost did with his thumb, though.
Mattie continued his rounds, focusing on just delivering the mail. A few cubicles that he stopped by had perfectly vulnerable desktops that would have been cake to sync up with his computer back home, but he felt himself too rushed and weary to worry about that now. He didn’t have to find a new system or email or whatever to hack in EVERY day, did he?
It might even be more to his advantage to lay low and slack off on the hacking a bit. Maybe use the time to cut loose a bit and seem like an average employee. Go out on the town. Today was pay day after all.
“How’s it going Mattie,” one of the big wigs in advertising waved to him. “Workin’ hard or hardly workin’?” Mattie gave a polite chuckle, but nothing more. That must have been the go-to joke around these parts. “Keep up the good work, sport!” The compliment gave him an extra little skip in his step. It was nice when the big people noticed him and told him he was doing a good job.
Things were going smoothly enough; first mail drop of the day almost completed. Then Rod Stewart’s ‘Forever Young’ kicked on.
In the middle of the floor, Mattie stopped and listened. He sighed and smiled a bit. He sucked on his thumb a little. He started peeing his pants. “Mattie?” a far off voice called. “Mattie are you okay?”
The warm spot started out small and quickly spread. The hissing sound of liquid hitting fabric was so faint that it was like a potato chip crunching and only his ears could hear it. It certainly didn’t block out Forever Young, and it blended in nicely with the rhythm of his sucking thumb.
His eyelids felt extremely heavy as the warmth and wetness quickly spread. The front of his khakis stained a darker shade as the urine made a trail, part of it branching out and seeping down the inner sides of his pant legs, as even more of the stuff simply dripped out onto the floor directly beneath him; the first drops of what would be a very big puddle.
Mattie jerked awake, his eyes finally taking in what they saw; his mind appreciating that he was well and truly pissing himself! He yanked his thumb out of his mouth and gasped as the urine left a obvious trail on its way down to his socks and loafers. “What the-?” Instantly he had the urge to stick his thumb back in!
Being able to see what he was doing to himself neither halted nor slowed the act. It only made him very very aware as the cuffs of his pants finished dripping and forming the putrid puddle beneath him. His knees locked, his shoulders shook. His heart felt like he was beating out of his chest.
This hadn’t happened to him in…ever? Not since at least kindergarten. “Wh-wh-why?” he gasped.
“Saw that coming…”
It was Miss Doris’s voice, and it was far off. She was on the other side of the floor, her head popped out above a maze of cubicles with dozens of others, but he heard her all the same.
That’s when Mattie realized that his not-so-little accident had been anything but private. Phones were ringing, and music was playing over the speakers; yet no one was answering. No conversations could be heard. No click clacking of people on their computers minding their own business.
Mattie had wet his pants in front of everyone, and everyone, in turn, was looking at him. Staring. Judging.
Two sets of elevator doors dinged open and light bits of chatter were cut off by soft and baffled, “Oh!”s.
The would-be-hacker looked down at his sopping wet pants and the yellow puddle beneath them. Already, the stain was cooling; his crotch freezing, as the overpowered air conditioning kicked in. His legs bowed out comically like they were trying to separate themselves from the rest of his body. His arms flapped uselessly like a chicken. To top it all off the only explanation he could muster to sum up his confusion, befuddlement, and outright disgust with himself was a deep, throaty. “WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
“We’ve got a ten-seventeen.” A security guard mumbled into the walkie talkie pinned to his shirt. “I repeat, we’ve got ten-seventeen.” The guard stepped in front of Matty and addressed the gathered gawkers. “We’ve got a ten-seventeen folks! I ten-seventeen! Little boy had an accident! Go about your business! Help is on is on the way!”
And just like that the rest of the hustle and bustle joined the Rod Stewart south track. He’d gone from a freakshow and curiosity to…to…a little boy who wet his pants?
“What’s a ten-seventeen?” He shouted over to the security guard several feet away. “What’s going on?”
The security guard turned and looked at Mattie. “It’s what I just said! It’s big people talk for someone who just had an accident.”
Mattie felt like he’d gone through the entire employee manual and didn’t recall any procedure regarding urinary accidents… Granted, he hadn’t looked too deeply into physical security protocol “Big people…? Why did you call me a little…”
The security guard stepped forward and put a hand on Mattie’s chest. “Careful there, sport. Don’t want you making a bigger mess and tracking your puddle everywhere.” Mattie froze. “Somebody’s coming to help you get, sorted out. Okay?”
Mattie looked down at himself and imagined himself tromping around, with little wet footprints showing wherever he’d gone… “Okay…”
Up from the stairwell, a door opened came a familiar face in a white coat appeared. “Mattie?”
“Ginni?” Mattie asked. Her hair was tied back into a tight pony tail, but otherwise, the auburn haired young woman looked the same as Mattie remembered her.
The woman from the pharmacy started quickly walking towards him and the security guard. “Ten-seventeen?” the guard asked.
Ginni nodded and was allowed to advance. “Mattie?” she asked. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
Pretty girl! Mattie standing in one of the most embarrassing positions ever. And there were only so many words that could be used to describe his current predicament Mattie gulped. “I…hadda…accident…?” He squeaked the words out and added a strange questioning inflection, like he wasn’t sure that his bladder had chosen to let loose.
“Are you wearing your big kid underwear?” Such an embarrassing question, stated so simply.
“Okay,” Ginni said calmly and sweetly… “Not a problem.” She took Mattie’s hand and gave the top of it a gentle fact. “We’ll get you sorted out, okay?”
Despite himself, Mattie felt his pulse slowing. It felt good to know that someone, especially a pretty girl like Ginni, would help him out of this terrible situation. “Okay. Yeah.”
Ginni was already taking her coat off by the time that Mattie gave his consent. “Hold still, buddy,” she instructed. Carefully, she wrapped the arms of the coat around Mattie’s waist and tied it into a knot. She threaded the back of the coat between his legs and tucked it into the tied knot. Even Mattie knew what it looked like.
“This will take care of it in the short term,” she promised. “Can you step out of your shoes for me and go over the puddle like a big boy?”
Like a big boy…
The way it was phrased gave Mattie a sense of urgency to the task. Peeling off the first urine soaked shoe, the hacker wide stepped out of the mess he’d made, and then peeled off the second.
“Good boy,” Ginni whispered. She gave his hand an extra little tug. “Come on. Let’s get you out of those wet clothes.” As if they had a mind of their own, his legs waddled along behind Ginni. “That’s right.”
He let himself be led to the elevator. Alone in the little metal box, Ginni took out a key card and swiped it on the panel. The highlighted panel went from a dark red palette to a light blue. Ginni pushed the button for the basement.
“Ginni?” Mattie asked.
“Miss Ginni,” she corrected.
“Where are we going?”
“We’re going to get you some fresh clothes, silly.” Miss Ginni giggled as if the younger man had said something positively adorable.
Mattie’s mind flashed to an image of him wearing a one size fits all jumpsuit, like what a stereotypical janitor might wear. Or a prison inmate. “All of my clothes are at home,” he shifted nervously.
Miss Giinny steadied him. “Don’t worry,” she said. “You won’t need them anymore.”
“What?” Matthew cocked an eyebrow and pulled his thumb away from his mouth. He hadn’t even realized that he was starting to suck on it.
Without missing a beat, Miss Ginni changed the subject. “So did you mean to go pee pee in your pants or did you forget to go potty?”
A thin frown framed Mattie’s face. “Um…I forgot.”
“Why weren’t you wearing your training pants?”
“Training pants?” Mattie blanched. “What do you mean training pants.”
“Sorry,” Miss Ginni corrected herself. “I meant your ‘big boy pants’.”
“I don’t wear big boy pants,” Mattie said. What he’d meant to say was that he didn’t wear training pants. It came out much worse than he’d intended.
The elevator dinged and the door behind them opened up. Miss Ginni twirled and led Mattie into a.quiet white room filled with boxes of all shapes and sizes. “You don’t wear big boy pants?” she asked. Before he could clarify her eyes lit up. “Oh riiiight! You still wear diapers!”
“O-O-Only at night” Mattie tried to correct her. Through his stuttering he didn’t notice the padded floors beneath his bare feet, or question why he’d never seen this room in any of his research.
“It’s okay to need diapers at your age,” Miss Ginni promised. “We just gotta take some precautions.”
Miss Ginni took the makeshift bum wrap off of Mattie’s hips and patted the padded floor. “Lay down for me.”
Without thinking, Mattie did. “What’s going on?” He asked, afraid of his own body and what was going on.
“It’s okay,” Miss Ginni promised him. “You’re not in trouble. You didn’t do anything wrong.” She said all this while unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his pants for him. “No one thinks any less of you.”
Rationally, Mattie very much doubted that. Yet his body put up no resistance as Miss Ginni hooked her fingers into the waistband of his pants. “Butt up, please, sweetie.” He lifted his hips so that she could more easily get the pants off him. “Thank you, big boy.”
“You’re welcome.” Mattie felt like his whole world was being lifted up with those four words so sweetly said.
The brunette leaned over and unbuttoned his shirt. “Gotta get rid of this too.” She was right of course. That’s what Mattie got for tucking his shirt into his pants. He sat up just enough for her to get the shirt off of him. She didn’t even need to ask. “Good boy!”
His arm started to creep back towards his mouth while Miss Ginni took his wet clothes, balled them up and tossed them into what he could only assume was a laundry chute. It felt good to suck on something and self-soothe in this terribly awkward predicament. He didn’t have control over much right now, but Mattie felt he could control his thumb.
It was a good thing he had his thumb too, because not much else could have soothed Mattie’s nerves, nor muffled the surprised yelp he let out when Miss Ginni came back with a new diaper.
“Those are only for bedtime!”
A delicate, yet somehow surprisingly strong hand prevented Mattie from sitting straight up and bolting back for the elevator. Mattie couldn’t tell if Miss Ginni was that much stronger than him, or whether his body just froze in place at her touch.
Six of one? Half a dozen of another?
“What you have at home are bedtime diapers,” Miss Ginni agreed. “But that’s not what I’m holding.” She showed him the padding in her hands. It was nearly identical to the factory error brands he’d taken back to homebase with him in thickness and structure. Only the decorations had changed. If he allowed that to be put on him, bright happy sunshine faces wearing sunglasses and tweeting birds would be decorating his pelvic real estate in lieu of sleepy moons and cuddly critters with nightcaps on them. The stencils for clouds and stars were there, but the colors were more warm and vibrant than the cool mellow tones taped around his groin at night. “See?”
“How about I just go home and-?”
A single pink-nailed finger pressed up against his lips was enough to cut him off mid sentence. Good thing too, because Mattie honestly didn’t know how that sentence was going to end. “You’re not in trouble, sweetie,” Miss Ginni repeated. “You just had an accident and we don’t have any big kid undies here. We can’t let you wander around. What would the other kids think?”
“Other…?” Mattie suppressed a shiver. Already, Miss Ginni had grabbed a pack of baby wipes and was cleansing him while clicking at her tongue.
“It’s okay to suck your thumb,” Miss Ginni suggested. So he did. “Legs up.” So he did. His backside wasn’t as sensitive as his front so he didn’t shiver. He also didn’t get his legs down in time to avoid the fresh adult diaper being slid underneath him.
“Can I still go pot…” He stopped himself. “To the bathroom?”
Miss Ginni busied herself dusting him with sweet smelling powder. He got a kind of a pleasant woozy feeling from it and relaxed more. “Of course big boys can go potty,” she said. “That’s why they get to wear big boy pants and grown-up underwear.”
Grown-up underwear, so flimsy and useless. Where had that thought come from? Miss Ginni folded and pulled the fresh diaper taut over his waist and started to apply and adjust the tapes. Not left and right, but bottom and top.
The way she gathered up the leg gathers and centered the landing panel; the way she was so fast with everything. The way she tucked the front instead of pulled super hard on the back. There was something odd about it, not in the methods she used, but the fact that she was using them to being with. She seemed so…experienced.
“You didn’t answer my question,” Mattie said as best he could without whining.
The auburn haired woman finished taping the diaper up and pressed firmly on the decorative landing panel. “If you happen to make it to the potty,” Miss Ginni told him. “We’ll be really proud of you. But if you need a change later, I’ll change you too. No muss, no fuss.”
Standing over him, she reached down and offered her arms. He took her hand and sat up. Perhaps it was the setting, but this time he couldn’t just ignore the crinkle. “Okay…” He shouldn’t be agreeing with this, but everything that was being said felt so sensible, even if it didn’t sound so.
Including, “Arms up.”
Three seconds later a light blue t-shirt was pulled over Mattie’s head. It stopped just past his belly button. It didn’t even come close to covering the top of his diaper. He looked like he should be in a diaper commercial. “Pants?” he asked.
“I don’t think you’ll need those,” Miss Ginni said. Mattie felt that there was an implied ‘any more’ in her tone.
The blood drained from Mattie’s face as he took himself in. He looked like a giant hairy toddler. “So…what now?”
Miss Ginni’s giggle sounded a little less flirtatious and a little more sinister. “You’re still a big boy, right?” she asked rhetorically. “You’re all cleaned up. Time to go back to work.”
Mattie gulped. “Work?