Cruise baby

So I haven’t wrote anything for a while, I might be a little rough until I can get back into the swing of things. I might remove this but for now I’ll keep it going. I’ve used various writing aids for grammar and spelling but there might be one or two mistakes I’m only human after all.

Chapter 1

“One big tip ladies, when you’re going on a cruise no matter what your man thinks you can never pack too many bikinis.” Kayla Braxton smiled.

Kayla held a blue bikini top-up to a camera. She had her travel show on YouTube. It was called Kayla’s World which already had a number of growing fans. Kayla was only twenty-six and had formed the show with her best friend thirty-year-old, Charly Caruso. When they first started the show the women were sixteen and nineteen years old with Kayla being the younger woman. Kayla raised an eyebrow as she saw Charly shaking her head in annoyance.

“What?” Kayla asked as she dropped the bikini top.

Charly who shifted the camera onto a tripod walked up to Kayla. She placed her hand in her jean pocket before picking up a bikini and dropping it to the floor.

“If you think you’re laying on a sun lounger sipping champagne all day, then you’ve got another thing coming,” Charly warned. “Don’t forget you’ve got the easy part I’m the one having to record and edit everything,” Charly sighed. She pulled a remote out of her jeans pocket and pressed a button to turn the camera off.

Kayla rolled her eyes. She picked up a letter and read over it. The letter stated that Kayla and Charly were invited on an all-expenses world cruise. In return, Kayla had to make a video documenting life on board. Kayla scanned the letter going over what was expected of her but she stopped at one particular activity. Kayla bit her lip as she looked at Charly. She knew Charly was older and wiser so maybe she could figure it out.

“Erm, I thought this was an adults-only cruise?” Kayla questioned.

“It is,” Charly replied as she glanced at the letter that Kayla was holding up. Charly seemed just as confused.

One of the locations herself and Kayla were required to film was the ship’s nursery. It seemed odd and Charly placed her hands on her hips. The note stated the nursery was called Lacey’s specialist baby nursery. Charly brushed a strand of her black hair out of her face. She figured there wouldn’t be any point in thinking about the nursery too much. Chances where they’d look around it and just do a small piece about it. Chances were high that the ship also ran none adult cruises as well. Charly threw a yellow bikini and a few boxes of condoms into her suitcase. Charly shrugged her shoulders as she saw Kayla glaring.

“Oh, I’m not allowed to do a spot of sunbathing but you can when you’re not on your spreading your legs?” Kayla whined. “H-h-how many condoms do you need anyway?” Kayla asked in surprise. “There’s no way you’ll go through one hundred and twenty of them.” Kayla glared.

Charly rolled eyes at Kayla. “Seriously I don’t have to explain my sex life especially to a virgin,” Charly said in annoyance. As far as Charly was concerned, she’d rather have them and not need them than the other way around.

“I’m not a virgin!” Kayla cried stamping her feet like a child.

Charly waved a dismissive hand. “I’ve got a perfect idea,” Charly smiled. “I think since you’re acting like a baby then I should treat you like one.” Charly smiled. She strolled over to Kayla and playfully pinched Kayla’s cheeks. “Oh, I think when we get to the ship I should drop baby Kayla off at the nursery. You’d suit a bonnet, romper suit and maybe if you’re a good girl mommy will get you a pacifier,” Charly teased.

“Shut up I’m not a baby!” Kayla protested.

“Ya umm, I’m only kidding with you,” Charly said with a roll of the eye. She honestly hated it when Kayla acted like this sometimes. Charly grabbed her camera and suitcase and headed for the door. “Don’t be long we need to board the ship within the next hour and a half,” Charly warned as she left.

Kayla waved Charly off. She wasn’t in any mood to be called a baby. She packed a few more tops and bikinis before grabbing a teddy bear. Kayla had the stuffed toy since she was little and she took it everywhere with her. Although she made sure Charly never saw the teddy. She knew Charly wouldn’t let her live it down. Kayla placed the teddy under her t-shirt before closing her case. She grabbed her passport and a blue a4 presentation folder before heading for the door. As Kayla waited for the elevator she double-checked she had her tickets thankfully she did. It started plaguing her though as to why she’d have to do a piece on the nursery. It seemed unusual Lacey’s specialist baby nursery. Kayla started thinking about what could be so special about a nursery, it wasn’t like this Lacey was teaching babies to pilot the ship. She shook her head and put her earphones in and listened to her music. It continued to plague Kayla as to why she had to bother filming the nursery, so she started looking for it on her phone.

“You stupid idiot!” a woman suddenly cried as a cup of iced tea went over her. “Look at my dress it’s ruined!” the woman late twenties with blonde hair glared at Kayla. “What do you have to say?” the woman demand. She drawled her words with a strong southern accent. The woman pulled a handkerchief out of her red handbag. She continued glaring at Kayla who was blushing with embarrassment. The woman tapped her foot as she dabbed her red and white polka dot dress.

“Sorry I guess?” Kayla replied. She felt her face reddening with embarrassment. Only for she was glued to her phone she would have avoided bumping into the woman. “I’ll pay the dry cleaning?” Kayla suggested.

The blonde woman looked around before scowling at Kayla. “Where is your mother?” the woman asked. “I’d like a word.”

“My mother are you serious?” Kayla snickered. She realised the woman wasn’t joking as she saw an eyebrow raise. “I’m twenty-six, I didn’t realise going on a cruise required me to bring my mummy.” Kayla sarcastically spoke.

“Young lady if I was your mother then you would be going straight across my knee,” the woman warned. The woman raised an eyebrow, Kayla looked surprisingly younger. The woman assumed Kayla looked to be in her very late teens or early twenties. “Twenty-six you say you’re a little short and address me as ma’am !” the woman barked. “I take it your ship is the Gabriel Royal?”

“Yes, it is ma’am,” Kayla replied. She felt so embarrassed being told off like she was a little girl. Kayla eyed Charly and was wishing that she was else were.

“Well, I’m almost certain I won’t have seen the last of you then.” The woman smiled. She then walked off but not before giving Charly an unimpressed look before leaving.

Charly raised an eyebrow as she asked Kayla about what just happened. Kayla simply shrugged her shoulders and said she bumped into that woman by accident. Charly laughed and gave Kyla a friendly cuddle. They both decided to head to their cruise ship and check-in.

Fun premise, lots of possibilities for progression. I’m only guessing but I think one of the characters is going to end up with first hand experience of the nursery’s specialty.

The writing is good too. Just a few sentences that I think I’d prefer a comma in, to help readability - but I may use too many commas so I’ll let someone more competent comment.

I’m a few weeks late, but I hope that woman won’t need to worry about these two “nasties” :wink:

The story is interesting. Always a fan of facility type stories, and I think a cruise as a setting can fit that. Those cruise ships are big, but there’s still no escaping once you set sail.

As others mentioned, there’s some room for editing for punctuation. For example, in this line:

Reading it without punctuation, it’s a bit challenging to pinpoint the emotion conveyed. I would recommend adding in punctuation to where the natural breaks in speech would be when saying the line, and separating different thoughts. “Twenty-six, you say? You’re a little short… and address me as ma’am!” But it can vary depending on how you want the line read too. Punctuation is very powerful at communicating emotion, in my opinion.

Looking forward to more!

oh, excited to find out where this is going

Same here great start