Dawn Of The Diapered: Chapter Three

I’ve decided to provide a “mini commentary” before each chapter for anyone who’s curious about what I go through during the writing process…if you don’t care, skip it.

This chapter felt…laggy to me. I think it might all just be in my head, but the pacing and staging never felt right with this one. Chapter 2 all but wrote itself, and I was pleased with the outcome of that. When I tried to replicate that ease I was met with frustration and rage…from the story.

The way I picture story writing is like doing a jigsaw puzzle with the pieces facing down. A sea of look-a-like pieces surround you, and all you can do is try to make them fit properly. Chapter two was like a children’s 5 piece puzzle, simple and to the point with no surprises. This one was a 1500 piece puzzle with some of those pieces that have no male or female joints to them, their just a random shape that land-locks itself with it’s brothers and sisters.

Anyway, my displeasure with this chapter aside, I hope YOU enjoy it and decide to come back for more! :slight_smile:

Knight

Dawn Of The Diapered: An Invasion Of The Adulthood Snatchers Story
By: Dementia’s Knight

Part I: A Life Less Frightening
Chapter III: The Trouble With Spouses

Douglas Archer chewed the end of his pen as he tried to rationalize what was happening. He’d seen many strange occurrences over his twelve years on the police force, but nothing came remotely close to what he had just witnessed. The tall and barrel chested man sat forward and reached out to touch his sobbing wife’s shoulder.

“Honey, it happens, there’s no need to get so upset.” he said calmly and soothingly.

Marianne Archer looked back at her husband from where she sat on the living room floor. The beautiful thirty something Asian woman’s eyes were puffy and red from crying, and her hair was severely mussed from the fit she’d thrown. “It’s not alright!” she screeched before burying her face in her hands again.

The event that kicked off the current drama had happened only a few minutes prior, but the tension in the room made everything feel as if time had lost all sway over reality, and the two people in the area had ceased to move or function within the normal passage of time as a result. Marianne had come home from work as per usual, and she had set her things down on the table by the door much like she always did. It was after she’d come into the living room to say hello to Douglas that things went drastically awry.

Marianne had only taken a few steps into the room when she leant forward and clutched her stomach. Douglas had looked up from his crossword puzzle when he heard her whimpering pitifully, he stifled a laugh when he heard his wife loudly break wind, something that in all their ten years of marriage he’d never heard her do. The sound began what eventually became a raunchy orchestra of inappropriate sounds which reached it crescendo when the noises gained a mass to them and ruined the interior seat of Marianne’s underwear.

Distraught, Marianne had slumped to the floor in a sobbing mass. The smell in the room was repugnant, and Douglas began to fill ill with each passing moment. He tried again to comfort his wife, but she gave no response to his caresses. Instead, a steady flow of yellow liquid crept out from under his wife, and was pooling outward toward the end of the carpet. With worry overcoming him, Douglas climbed down to the floor to hug his wife and try to get her up from the floor and to the bathroom if for nothing else than a bath, that’s when he saw Marianne sucking her thumb and when worry escalated to fear.

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Tanya opened the door after the third round of rapid knocking. She saw Douglas standing on the her porch with worry in his eyes and his daughter Sarah in his arms. Tanya started to greet her neighbor, but was abruptly stopped by the panicked man.

“Tanya, I know it’s short notice, but can you watch Sarah for me for a few hours? I’m having a bit of a family emergency with Marianne, and I just need to know Sarah is safe while I handle it.” Douglas explained quickly.

Tanya nodded and took the pretty little girl’s hand as her father set her down on the porch. “I hope everything is alright.” she said, stealing a glance at the truck idling in front of her house. For the briefest of moments before Douglas stepped in her field of view, she swore she could see Marianne sucking her thumb in the front passenger seat.

“Thanks Tanya.” Douglas said as he began to head back to the car.

Sarah looked up at Tanya for a moment and then to the truck before it pulled away. “My mom is acting weird.” the nine year old girl told her.

Tanya smiled down at the young girl. “Sometimes mommy’s do weird things.” she said before leading the girl inside and closing the door.

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Douglas stopped at the red light and looked over at his wife. The china doll skinned woman was contentedly slurping away on her thumb, and smiled behind the appendage as she looked at her husband. A small waterfall of saliva rolled from the open corner of her mouth and pattered onto the front of her white shirt. Douglas was frightened that his wife had completely lost her mind at this point, and fought to keep from crying.

A soft incoherent mumble came from his wife as he accelerated through the now green light. Looking briefly at Marianne, he asked her what she had said.

The young woman slipped her thumb from her mouth with a slurp, and repeated her self in the same soft tone, but without the hindrance of her thumb crowding her mouth, the words were much clearer. “Daddy, whewe we goin’?” she asked.

Douglas reeled for a moment, he wasn’t sure how he should respond after his wife reffered to him as “daddy”. “We’re gonna get you some help honey. Everything is gonna be alright.” he answered calmly and soothingly.

Suddenly Marianne turned in her seat and leaned toward him, her breath tickling his ear and neck as she said her next words. “But daddy, I wanna play.” she said in the same soft girlish tone, an odd mix of seductive and childlike.

Douglas turned to face her, and saw that Marianne now had her mouth wide open, and some sort of brownish gray object was beginning to protrude from deep in her throat. Marianne made retching noises as the thing moved further out of her mouth. After a moment the object began to writhe against her lips and the corners of her mouth. Another moment allowed the thing to sprout thin tendrils that squiggled every way they could, some slapping against the sides of the woman’s face, and others reaching out toward Douglas.

With a scream, Douglas turned the wheel toward Marianne as he leaned as far away from the wriggling creature as he could. The truck careened to the right, and slammed into a mailbox. Marianne struggled against the resistance that her seatbelt gave, and reached out to grab Douglas and pull him to his fate. Cutting diagonally through the next intersection, the truck was struck by a bus on Marianne’s side, and rolled several times before it came to a stop on it’s roof.

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Tanya pulled the covers up over Sarah’s body and tucked the girl in snugly. “Are you too old for bedtime stories?” she asked the sleepy eyed girl.

Sarah nodded but smiled. “Bedtime stories are for babies Mrs. Mitchell.” the young girl said.

Tanya nodded herself. “I guess you’re right.” she said before she moved to the bedroom door. “Goodnight Sarah, holler if you need anything.” she told the girl before she closed the door and walked down the hallway to her own bedroom.

Tanya could hear Carl sniffling in the bathroom as she entered the room, she approached the door and knocked on it softly. “Carl, is everything alright?” she asked.

Carl sat in the bathtub hugging his legs to his chest as he rocked back and forth. Every rocking motion brought an audible squelching sound as the sticky mass in the seat of his trousers sloshed back and forth with every move. “Fine.” he choked out between quieted sobs.

“Alright, well I’m gonna turn in.” Tanya told him through the door. She waited for a reply, but could only hear his sniffling and whimpering. With a sigh she left the door and went to get her pajama’s on.

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Douglas opened his eyes. He could hear many voices overlapping as they chattered around him. He saw the ground above him, and the night sky below and felt a sharp pain in his leg and back. Looking over to Marianne he suppressed a scream and looked away before vomiting.

The once beautiful Asian woman was now barely recognizable. A large shard of glass had sliced into her neck, and her head dangled lazily by a thin shred of skin. The roof of the car had pooled with an ungodly amount of blood as she hung upside down like a recently decapitated chicken. Her eyes were vacant and soulless as she stared at nothing, her head slowly turning by the thread of neck flesh that remained as the only tether to the rest of her body.

Sirens screamed in the distance as they approached the accident, and Douglas was thankful to hear them. He remembered the horrible thing that had emerged from his wife’s mouth, but couldn’t stomach another look at her to see if the thing remained. He closed his eyes to try and steady his stomach, but the mental image of both the events before the accident and the gruesome aftermath haunted him. He began to cry as he thought of happier times with his wife, and hoped with all his heart that she was at peace now, free of whatever had plagued her before.

Douglas could see the flashing lights now, his escape from his overturned vehicle, and from the horrifying final posing of his wife was imminent. He willed a final goodbye to Marianne, unable to look at her, and looked over to the approaching fire truck and ambulance.

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Carl had managed to strip himself and run the shower to clean the disgusting lump from his backside. He now stood naked in the bathroom staring at the door. His mind argued with itself about the next course of action. He knew that Tanya would be angry with him for having a messy accident in his pants, but he wondered if she might, at the same time, be proud of him for cleaning himself up. He struggled with each thought, he knew what he really wanted, he wanted his mommy to be proud of him, he wanted praise and love. He reached out and grabbed the doorknob, he held the cylinder in his hand for a moment and then turned it slowly and pushed it open.

The world went dark when he turned the bathroom light off. He felt frightened standing in the room with no lights to guide his way. A small trickle of urine escaped him as he stood in between rooms, trying to adjust his eyes to the deep blackness surrounding him. He could hear a small cry from somewhere else in the house, he decided it warranted investigation.

Stumbling through the bedroom, he found the door and opened it slowly. He slipped into the hallway beyond, and shivered when his bare feet touched the wood flooring below them. Another small squirt of pee dribbled to the floor with a soft sound almost like rain on the roof of a house. The cries got louder as he walked down the hallway, and as he neared the guest bedroom he found the source of the disturbance.

Opening the door he saw, with his now dark accustomed vision, little Sarah Archer tossing and turning in the bed. She was mumbling incoherently, and pushing her arms outward at some invisible attacker. Carl smiled as he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, he had found a playmate, and it was time for a game.

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Tanya woke up to an empty bed the next morning. She looked around the room but found no sign of Carl. Rising from the bed and throwing her robe on she made her way to the bedroom door. She smelled pee as she walked into the hallway, and immediately worried that Carl had fallen asleep downstairs and wet the couch. A peek over the railing at the living room told her that had not been the case. However she did see Carl sitting on the living room floor naked. She smiled, she remembered how they used to play “hide and go fuck” when they had first gotten married, and now crept down the stairs to join the game.

The feeling that something was amiss crept up when she saw Carl sitting with his legs splayed out in front of him, his limp penis in his hand and an amused smile on his face as he looked down at his meager member.

“Carl, honey?” she asked as she approached.

Carl looked up at his wife, his chin and flabby stomach coated in a sheen of drool, and smiled widely at her. Urine jetted out of flaccid penis, not much more than a spurt really, it dribbled over his hand as it slowed and finally stopped, and Carl just giggled.

Tanya staggered backward and turned toward the stairs, taking them two at a time as she rushed to grab Sarah to keep her from coming out and seeing Carl the way he was. She knew that Toby and Brenda were both at friends houses, so she needn’t worry about them. As she reached the guest bedroom door she heard Sarah giggle inside, opening the door, Tanya saw that the young girl wasn’t in the bed. Tanya’s nose crinkled as a putrid stench assaulted her nostrils when she entered the room.

Closer inspection of the room showed her the curly haired top of Sarah’s head on the opposite side of the bed. Tanya went over and gasped when she saw Sarah sitting on the floor, her hands caked with brown gunk. Tanya wretched as she watched Sarah smear the pasty substance on the bedroom wall, sit forward and reach behind her, push her hand down the back of her pants and emerge with another glob of the vile excrement.

“Sarah! What are you doing?!” Tanya shouted.

Sarah whipped her head toward Tanya with startling quickness, a smile slowly spreading across the young girl’s face. “I’s pwayin’ Mrs. Mitchew. You wanna pway wif me?” she asked slowly, drawing each word out needlessly.

Tanya ran from the room as Sarah reached out toward her with a sticky filth coated hand. She exited the room and saw Carl crawling up the stairs, he giggled when he saw her, and began crawling faster.

Tanya screamed and ran past her husband and to the master bedroom where she slammed the door shut and locked it behind her. She ran to the bed and leapt onto it like a young child would after shutting off the last light in the room before bed to keep the monster under the bed from grabbing them as they approached.

The frightened woman’s cries grew to screams of terror as Carl and Sarah began banging on the bedroom door, giggling in near unison as they tried to get to their desired playmate. Tanya closed her eyes and began to pray that the banging would stop and that the pair would depart, and after ten minutes of steady pounding and childish laughter, her prayers were answered.

Another hour passed after the banging had stopped before Tanya worked up the courage to even get off the bed, but she finally did, and she slowly crept to the bedroom door and listened carefully for signs that Carl and Sarah were still outside. Satisfied that they had gone, Tanya went and got dressed before she finally opened the door and peeked into the hallway. She saw brown handprints forming a crude trail down the hallway to the stairs, and she opened the door a little wider.

As her heart raced in her chest, Tanya Mitchell took a deep breath, let it out, and sprinted to the stairs. She nearly lost her footing on the way down, coming close to sliding the rest of the way down on her back, but she managed to stay upright and reached the downstairs area with no other incident. She looked around quickly for Sarah and Carl, and then grabbed her purse and car keys from the small table by the door and rushed out to the sunny day beyond. She sped to her car and climbed in as fast as she could, peeling out of the driveway as she stamped her foot down on the pedal after starting the car and throwing it into reverse. As she began to drive her tears began to fall. It was the first time she would cry during this event, but it would certainly not be the last.

To Be Continued…

Dawn Of The Diapered: Chapter Three

This story is getting really interesting, there were a couple of errors, though I am only able to find this one at the moment (lost where the other was):

that’s when he saw Marianne sucking her thumb and when worry escalated to fear

The second when should be then.

Dawn Of The Diapered: Chapter Three

Very good chapter! I love the contrast of thought and good job with the accident - it was thoroughly EW :slight_smile: Keep it coming!

Dawn Of The Diapered: Chapter Three

D. Knight, another great part to this story!! Keep up the good work on it!!

Dawn Of The Diapered: Chapter Three

This chapter seemed a little disjointed to me. I don’t know, maybe too much scene-shifting. Just my opinion, though. I’m still enjoying it, and hope you’ll continue at this high level.