Hidden Truths in Plain Sight
“You want to dress up as what?!?” Sarah looked incredulously at Nikki who just continued eating the slice of raspberry pie in front of her. They were sitting in a corner booth at a diner, having lunch after doing some Saturday shopping
“Oh come on, it’ll be fun,” Nikki said around a mouthful of pie. “Plus, couples’ costumes are really cute.”
“But Tinkerbell and Wendy? Tinkerbell and Peter Pan makes sense. Or Peter Pan and Wendy. Tinkerbell and Wendy just barely get along.”
“That’s the whole point.” Nikki tapped her temple with a finger. “I have a plan.”
“Oooo-kaaay,” Sarah said warily.
“What? Don’t you trust me?” Sarah put on an exaggerated hurt expression and pouted, causing Sarah to chuckle.
“Of course I do.” Sarah reached across the table to stroke Nikki’s cheek. “But some of your plans are kinda embarrassing.”
“Maybe, but you like it.” Nikki turned her head and kissed Sarah’s palm. “Don’t you?” A blush crept up Sarah’s face. “Well?”
“Yes Ma’am,” Sarah whispered, barely audible.
“Good girl,” Nikki said and lifted the final piece of pie to her mouth.
A minute later, after having finished the last of her coffee, Nikki took Sarah’s hands in hers. She leaned closer across the table and whispered: “Do you need to be changed yet?”
Sarah’s blush was renewed. Wearing a diaper while going shopping on Saturdays had become a more and more regular occurrence the last couple of months. The only times Nikki didn’t insist on her wearing them was when they were getting something that Sarah needed to try on without the diapers.
However, she never wet the diapers until they were back home or, on a few occasions, in the car on the way back. That didn’t stop Nikki from asking if she was dry while they were out. In some cases she even insisted on checking.
“You know I’m dry. I’m always dry,” Sarah whispered back.
“Don’t take that tone with me, little girl,” Nikki said sternly. “I have four feet of paracord and a carabiner in my bag. I will hook a leash to that collar of yours if you don’t behave.”
Sarah knew it was an empty threat, but just hearing it made her conscious of the collar around her neck. It was still one of their ground rules that if Sarah wore her diapers, she would also wear her collar.
During the summer months, hiding the collar had become an exercise in futility, so they had switched to a narrow cloth choker with a little cameo brooch on. Sarah liked it so much that she had taken to wearing it when she didn’t have to wear a collar. She had even worn it to work a few times.
But now that the weather was chilly enough to justify sweaters and that meant that hiding beneath Sarah’s turtleneck was the plain leather collar they had bought last winter.
“I’m sorry Ma’am,” she said contritely. “I’ll behave.”
“Good, because we’re not leaving here until you actually do need a change.”
“You want me to…” Sarah paused for a moment, " …wet myself right here? In public? Why?"
“Because you’re a good little girl and I’m your…” Nikki let go of Sarah’s hands.
“You’re my mommynatrix,” Sarah finished with a sigh. Nikki smiled at the silly title.
“Damn straight. And good little girls do what they’re told.”
“Yeah, but here? The car is one thing. We’re alone there. But there’s people here. They’ll notice. And what if there’s a leak? And…” Sarah rambled.
Nikki put a finger to Sarah’s lips. “Shhh.” She took Sarah’s hands in hers again. “Look at me sweetie. Nobody’s going to notice.”
Sarah closed her eyes and Nikki could almost see her brow furrow with concentration. After a while she sighed. “I can’t do it,” she said and slumped back in her seat.
“Don’t be upset sweetie,” Nikki said. Then she slid around the table to sit next to Sarah. “Just sit back and relax.” Sarah leaned against Nikki and rested her head on her shoulder. She took Sarah’s hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
“Do you have to go?” Nikki asked.
“Yeah, but I just can’t do it here.”
“That’s OK sweetie.” Nikki just stroked the back of Sarah’s hand with her thumb. “Just relax; don’t try to force it. Try to think about something else.”
“Like what? It’s a little like telling me not to think of pink polar bears.” Sarah emptied her glass of water in two gulps. “Tell me the plan.”
“What do you mean?”
“Why do you want to dress up as Tinkerbell?”
Nikki laughed. “Sweetie, I’m not Tinkerbell. You are. I’m Wendy.”
“You know how Halloween is a chance to let a different side of you out?”
“Well, you’ve read Peter Pan, right?”
“Nope. Only seen the cartoon.”
“Same thing. You know how Wendy basically becomes a substitute mother for Peter and the lost boys?”
“I suppose,” Sarah said warily.
“I want to show off our secret side without anybody figuring it out.”
“So you’re going to be Mommy Wendy, but why would I be Tink? And how does she fit into this?”
Nikki shrugged. “Well, when she’s jealous of Wendy, she does behave like a bit of a brat. I’m pretty sure that both Peter and the lost boys would think she’s being really childish.”
“So you want me to wear…?”
“Yep.” Nikki nodded. “Big ones.”
“But people will see them.”
“That’s the whole point. That’s why we have the whole Mommy Wendy and Bratty Tink explanation. Nobody’s going to expect you to have real diapers on underneath the costume ones.”
“What?!?” Sarah sat up and looked at Nikki. “Are you serious?”
“That’s why we’re doing this,” Nikki said calmly. “Look, we both know you like wetting your diapers. Right?”
Sarah blushed. “Yeah,” she admitted sheepishly, casting a quick glance around the nearly empty diner to see if anybody could hear them.
“And this is like the one day of the year when you can get away with wearing giant diapers in public. And using them.”
“But you know I can’t do it. I mean, at home or in the car is one thing, but in public?”
“That sweetie,” Nikki kissed Sarah’s forehead, “is why we’re practicing.”
“It’s two weeks until Halloween. Every day between now and then, I want you to wear a diaper and wet it while you’re out in public,” Nikki said quietly.
Sarah looked mortified at what Nikki said. “But… but…”
“Can you think of another way of getting over that particular mental hurdle?”
Sarah sighed. “No,” she admitted.
“So are you going to be a good little girl and do as you’re told?”
“Yes Ma’am,” Sarah said demurely. “But can we go outside? Maybe it’s easier to do it while standing?”
Nikki considered what Sarah said. “OK,” she finally said, “but then you’re not getting changed until we’re going to the car.”
“And how long is that?”
“I’m not telling you. Do we have a deal?”
Sarah nodded hesitantly. “OK.”
Nikki signaled the waitress for the check and while they waited, she moved back around the table.
“So, do you really have paracord and a carabiner in your bag?”
“It just makes me wonder how you run your office.” Sarah grinned mischievously.
“See? This is why you’ll be perfect as a little bratty Tinkerbell.” Nikki paid and left a generous tip before getting up. “Now, come along.”
A while later, Nikki and Sarah were leaning on the railing of the mezzanine, looking at the people milling around below them. They had been making up little stories about them, each one more outlandish than the one before. A couple walking arm in arm were suddenly adulterers cheating on their respective spouses, a woman in a big, fuzzy jacket became a closet furry and a man checking out the window display in a Victoria’s Secret store became a cross-dresser who acted out scenes from Rocky Horror Picture Show with his collection of dolls in his bedroom. Sarah had been particularly proud of the chuckle she got out of Nikki with that last one.
“Nikki?” Sarah said. “I’ve been thinking.”
“Oh that’s never a good start,” Nikki replied with a smirk.
Sarah stuck out her tongue. “Seriously.”
“OK, What’ve you been thinking about?”
“My safeword. I think I might need another one.”
“You want to change it? It’s not like that’s a big deal. What do you want instead of ‘Mongolia’?”
“No, not a new one; an extra one.”
“Well,” Sarah said, all of a sudden looking painfully awkward. “When I say ‘Mongolia’, that’s a signal to stop right away.”
“But what if I want to keep going, just not take it further. Like, if we’re at 8 and you’re about to take it up to 9 and I don’t want to, ‘Mongolia’ would stop he whole thing, but I want to keep going at 8, just not escalate. Does that make any sense or am I just rambling?” Sarah finished, almost out of breath.
“I see what you mean. You want something that says ‘Don’t stop, but don’t take it further’. Sort of half a ‘Mongolia’.”
“Exactly.” Sarah nodded.
“OK, how about we just pick one of Mongolia’s neighbours then?” Nikki pulled out her phone and googled Mongolia. “That’d be Russia or China.”
“I don’t know. Those would just feel weird to use.”
“Yeah,” Nikki agreed. “Well, it almost borders on Kazakhstan.”
“Yeah, the thought of Borat doesn’t really keep me in the mood for our kind of fun. How about ‘Attila’? That’d work, right?”
“Sure, but not to be nit-picky; Attila wasn’t Mongolian. That was Ghengis Khan.” Nikki grinned, finally having out-triviaed Sarah.
“Whatever. Attila is easier to remember.”
Nikki nodded slowly. “OK, just to be completely clear: Mongolia means ‘stop everything’ and Attila means ‘don’t stop, but don’t go any further’?”
“Yeah,” Sarah’s gaze went back to the people below.
Nikki noticed a stick-thin woman who exited a bakery carrying several cake boxes stacked on top of each other. She was just about to reveal the woman’s secrets which involved naked pie fights and numerous cans of whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles, when she noticed that Sarah had become uncharacteristically quiet. Not wanting to lose track of her next story target, Nikki glanced quickly at Sarah. The faraway look on Sarah’s face made her forget about the woman below. She inched closer until their shoulders almost touched and nudged Sarah gently.
“Are you…?” she asked.
“Mm-hm,” Sarah replied dreamily, her eyes half-closed.
Nikki waited until Sarah recovered, then she whispered so none of the passers-by would hear, “Do you need to be changed?”
Sarah shook her head. “No, not yet. It was just a little.”
“OK.” Nikki paused, then she realised something. “You’re going to do it again, aren’t you.”
Sarah blushed. “At home it’s a lot easier once the diaper is already a little wet. I want to see if it’s the same now.”