At sixteen I still liked to go to the park up the street from my house, and swing on the swings. Everyone always called me immature, saying sixteen year old girls weren’t supposed to swing on swings. Because of the odd looks I often got, I eventually decided to only go at night. In the park at night, other people were few and far between, and generally paid little to no attention to the tall, lonely girl sitting on a swing and thinking. That’s what I did on the swings, other than swinging, that is. I had a lot to think about, growing up and all. All the adults were always pressuring me to mature, and be more responsible, but on the inside, I just wanted to be a kid forever, which was reflected in a certain interest of mine.
I often liked to wear diapers, and pretend, for perhaps a few fleeting hours, that I was little again, and had not a care in the world. Such wonderous moments of great comfort and relaxation were often short-lived, however, as they were frequently rudely halted, due to my parents arriving home, and me having to rush to get everything put away.
It was a beautiful night in the park. The moon was bathing the area in a wonderful silvery light, accentuated by the multitude of stars that were visible in the darkness of the sky. I sat, gently swinging on a swing; swaying back and forth, and thinking dark, heavy thoughts, as I was often wont to do. Looking up at the moon, where it hung in the sky, I mused to myself about what a great night it was to be depressed, as I felt heat rise in my cheeks, and my vision blurred slightly. A single, solitary tear ventured forth from the corner of my eye, to dribble down and drip from the end of my nose, where it fell to its end, as it splattered, and soaked into the sand. I could feel the overwhelming deluge of negative emotion building up inside me, trying to push its way out.
When I could contain it no longer, my body was wracked with heaving sobs, as tears flowed, unchecked, from my eyes. Crying on that swing in the park like that was something I did rather often. I didn’t know why, but even what little responsibility I had from school, and trying to get a driver’s license, was too much for me. I often became so stressed that I became physically ill. All the other kids my age could handle it; why couldn’t I? I had always been glad that no one had ever found me like that, but that changed on that evening.
As I sat there, hunched over and crying, I felt a presence behind me. It felt, in a word, unearthly, though it also seemed to give off an aura of comforting warmth. I felt a soft, gentle hand on my shoulder, and heard the most calming, beautiful, perhaps even ethereal voice from behind me, as it asked “What’s wrong?”
I sat up a bit, and turned my head, seeing the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. Beautiful not in appearance, though she was pleasant to look upon, but in presence, as she seemed to exude caring and compassion. I stared at her for a couple minutes.
“J-Just stress.” I replied quietly. She smiled, and made her way around to my front, asking “What does someone your age have to worry about?”
“Growing up.” I answered, sniffling a bit, and rubbing my eyes.
“You don’t want to grow up?” she replaced her and on my shoulder, and began rubbing gently. I shook my head, sniffling a little more, and rubbing my nose.
“Don’t you have anything to do to relieve stress? I hear a lot of kids your age play lots of violent video games.” she continued rubbing my shoulder, and by that time I had stopped crying altogether, due to her soothing tone.
“Th-there is one thing.” I blushed, though I doubt it was noticeable, with how red my face already was from all the crying.
“Well?” she smiled at me a little “What is it?”
I didn’t know why, but I felt I could trust her, like I could tell her anything. After trying, for a couple of minutes, to find a way to word my answer, I settled on “I like to wear diapers, and pretend I’m little again.”
She just stared at me, with a contemplative look on her face, for a minute.
“You think I’m weird.” I lowered my gaze, staring into the ground.
“No,” she replied, again gently rubbing my shoulder, “I don’t think you’re weird. In fact, I think I can even help you with that.”
I looked back up, giving her a questioning look.
“I, uhh, used to take care of someone like you.” she explained, smiling a little.
“Used to?” I asked “What happened to them?”
She sighed sadly, looking at the ground for a few moments, before answering “She grew up, and didn’t want me taking care of her anymore, and left. I still miss her. I still have all her old stuff, and I think you might be able to fit in her old clothes.”
“You would really…?”
“Take care of you?” she smiled at me “If you want me to, but it would only be for the night.”
“Okay.” I smiled back, taking the hand she held out to me, allowing her to help me up. Looking at her, I noted that she was several inches shorter than I was, as she led me, by the hand, across the park.
“Where exactly do you live?” I asked, looking around as we walked.
“It’s kinda hard to explain,” she said, looking back at me, and smiling, as we continued walking, “you’ll see when we get there.”
We walked for a dozen or so more seconds, before everything seemed to just kind of blur out, and I momentarily lost all sense of direction. Once the blurriness went away, I felt a bit dizzy, and found that we were somewhere far different than where we had been just seconds before. We were in a forest clearing, that contained a moderately sized one story house. Standing there, I felt small, even though I was the same size I had been before. It was an odd feeling, feeling minuscule like that, after having felt so large for so many years. As I was led up to the house, I felt a sense of comfort wash over me, and, in that moment, I felt at home. I felt like I was where I was meant to be, and it felt good.
“What’s your name?” I asked, expressing a question that had been in my mind since I’d met her, several minutes previous.
“My name is Anissa.” she replied, reaching out, and opening the door “What’s yours?”
“Kayla.” I answered, as she led me into the house. The inside of the house didn’t seem at all out of the ordinary, besides the complete lack of pictures of friends and family.
“Here we are.” she stopped in front of a door, midway down the hallway she’d led me into, and reached out, opening it. Looking inside, my jaw dropped. It was a nursery, but everything was adult sized, though, due to my height, a lot of things were a tiny bit small for me. I was about six foot one, and had been for almost two years. Anissa released my hand, and I walked into the room, marveling at all the neat things in there; stuff like what I’d wanted for years.
“We don’t have a lot of time,” Anissa said, interrupting my exploration of the room, and smiling at me, “so maybe we should get started.”
“Oh, right.” I looked at the changing table, slowly walking over to it, and staring at it for a few moments, before turning around, and positioning myself to lift myself onto it. Anissa put her hands on my waist, and helped me up. I was already blushing, as I laid back onto the changing table, and was beginning to have second thoughts about the whole thing, until Anissa reached forward, gently rubbing my stomach. There was such care and comfort in her touch, that my doubts just kind of disappeared.
“Here.” she said, handing me a pacifier that she took from somewhere underneath me. She smiled, as I wiped it off on my shirt, before putting it in my mouth, and starting to suck on it. My blush deepened, as she worked the zipper and button on my pants, and pulled them off. I relaxed, closing my eyes, and continuing to blush, as she removed my underwear, and placed a diaper underneath me. I hadn’t been diapered by someone else since I was little, and, despite the embarrassment, found it quite enjoyable. Once the tapes were fastened, she helped me sit up, and started removing my shirt. I felt like my face would catch fire if I blushed any more, as I stared down at myself, naked, except for a diaper.
“Let’s get you dressed.” she reached up, ruffling my hair a little bit, before walking over to the closet, while I tried to get my hair to lay flat again. She returned a minute later carrying a purple footed sleeper. I hopped down off the changing table, as she approached. I had always wanted to wear one, and was a bit excited, though embarrassed, as Anissa helped me into it.
“Have you eaten dinner yet?” she asked, leading me out of the nursery, and into the hall. I replied that I hadn’t, and she started leading me towards the kitchen, which I had seen on the way in, saying “Then let’s get you something to eat.”
Once in the kitchen, she sat me down in a highchair, that was right next to the kitchen table, and put the tray in place. She looked thoughtful for a moment, looking around the kitchen, before going over to the counter, and opening a drawer.
“There they are.” she reached into the drawer, pulling out a large bib, which she tied around my neck, after walking back over to me. She left for a minute, soon returning with what seemed to be several jars of baby food, and a spoon.
“I don’t know if I want to eat that.” I pointed at the baby food, as she put the jars down on the tray of the highchair.
“Well,” she said, opening one of the jars, and dipping the spoon into it, “just try it, and if you don’t like it, I’ll find you something else.”
I hesitantly agreed, and she brought the spoon up to my mouth, which I opened. It actually didn’t taste that bad, and when she asked if it was okay, I replied that it was, or at least that kind was. She had brought me two other kinds, and let me taste both of those, before we continued. Satisfied that none of it tasted horrible, I told her it was all okay, and she began feeding me. It was kind of messy, being fed by someone else, but it was fun too. By the time I’d finished it all, there was quite a bit of it on my face, and my chest as well, which made me glad I was wearing a bib. Anissa quickly took off the bib, and got my face cleaned off, before removing the tray, and letting me out of the highchair. I stood, and watched, as she got a baby bottle from a cabinet, and filled it with juice of some kind, from the refrigerator. Taking my hand, she led me into the living room, where she sat me on the couch, sitting next to me, and laying my torso over her lap. She supported my head in the crook of her arm, as she brought the nipple of the bottle towards my mouth. I began to nurse, believing that it was probably all just a really good dream. It was very relaxing, nursing from a bottle, while being held like that, and I was getting close to sleep, by the time I finished it.
“You want to go to bed?” Anissa asked, smiling down at me, as she took the nipple of the bottle out of my mouth.
“No, not yet.” I sat up, yawning.
“Then let me show you the playroom.” she smiled, standing, and helping me to my feet, before leading me down the hall again, to the next room down the hall from the nursery. She opened the door, to reveal a room full of toys. Lots of toys.
“You can play for a while,” Anissa said, reaching up, and patting me on the head, “but it’s kind of late, so bedtime’s going to be pretty soon.”
I walked into the room, looking around at all the toys, and smiling widely. Since I didn’t have a whole lot of time to play, I went with what had always been one of my favorite things to play with, as a child: blocks. I soon lost myself in building with some blocks, which I had found in a tub in a corner, but was eventually pulled from my work, by growing pressure in my bladder. I looked around, to make sure Anissa wasn’t looking in my direction, and looked down at myself, blushing profusely, as I concentrated, and started wetting.
“Did you wet?” Anissa asked, standing over me. I jumped a little, surprised to see her there, as she had been on the other side of the room a few seconds before. She didn’t give me a chance to answer her question, though, as she had already knelt down, to check for herself.
“Well,” she looked up at the clock, “it’s about bedtime for you, so just put the blocks away, and we’ll get you changed, and in bed.”
I sighed a little, not really wanting to go to bed, but started putting the blocks back anyway. Once they were all put away, Anissa took me to the nursery again, and quickly got me changed, before helping me into the crib. She left for a minute, returning with a bottle full of milk, which she handed to me, before kissing my forehead, saying “Goodnight”, putting up the side of the crib, and leaving, turning off the light on her way out. I sighed contentedly, and started drinking the bottle. I was soon fast asleep.
“Wake up sweety.” I heard, as someone gently shook me. My eyes slowly opened, and I saw Anissa smiling down at me.
“Good morning sleepyhead.” she reached over, and ruffled my hair a little, as I sat up, yawning.
“What time is it?” I asked, swinging my legs over the edge of the crib, and hopping down to the floor.
“Early enough, that if you go home now, your parents might not know you were even gone.” she smiled, leading me over to the changing table, where she’d left my clothes the previous night, before I stopped her, saying “Um, Anissa?”
“I kinda have to go to the bathroom.” I blushed, staring at the floor, and she replied, a few seconds later “Well, you are wearing a diaper, so why don’t you just go?”
“I-I can’t with you watching me.” I continued blushing, and staring at the floor. She chuckled a little, saying “Alright, I’ll wait in the hall, and you just come get me when you’re done.”
She left the room, and, after a few seconds of concentration, I started to wet, with a small sigh of relief. Once I was done, I stuck my head out into the hall, blushing, and telling Anissa that I was finished.
“Okay sweety,” she said, walking back into the nursery, and taking me over to the changing table, “you’ll be going home once I get you changed, and I need to know whether you want me sending you home in a diaper, or in your big girl underwear.”
“My regular underwear, please.” I replied quickly, too nervous about being caught to wear a diaper at home, while my parents were around. She smiled, and helped me out of the sleeper she had put on me the previous night, before helping me lift myself onto the changing table. She quickly got me out of my wet diaper, and cleaned me up, before redressing me in the clothes I’d gone there with.
“Come on.” she smiled, taking my hand, and leading me out of the nursery, and out of the house, towards the woods at the edge of the clearing her house occupied. The strange feeling of disorientation and dizziness returned, and, looking around, I found myself in the park again.
“Goodbye.” Anissa said, pulling me down a little, so she could kiss my forehead, before turning, and walking away.
“Wait,” I said, causing her to stop, and turn back to me, “w-will I ever see you again?”
“Of course.” she smiled, turning again, and continuing to walk away. I was about to ask another question, but stopped, as she disappeared when I blinked. I sighed, and walked home. My parents weren’t awake yet, and once they were, they didn’t seem to notice that I’d been gone for the night. I looked forward to seeing Anissa again, and hoped it would be soon.
Nearly five years passed, and it was my twenty-first birthday, and I had yet to see Anissa again. Most people would go out and get drunk with their friends on their twenty-first birthday, but I couldn’t stomach alcohol, and had no friends to party with. Life hadn’t been going so well for me, and I had yet to consider higher education, and still didn’t have a job. I was most often just sitting around the house, in an almost constant state of depression. I even tried seeking professional help about it, but whatever therapy I went through, or medication I took, nothing ever seemed to help.
I was sitting in that same swing that I sat in so often since that one night, waiting, hoping that I might see Anissa again, and crying. My own parents had even forgotten my birthday, and were out having dinner together, leaving me home, alone, and forgotten.
“What’s wrong?” I heard a voice ask from behind me, familiar, even though I hadn’t heard it in nearly five years. I quickly looked up, and behind myself, sniffling and wiping my eyes, to see Anissa, looking the same as she had the last time I’d seen her, and giving me a worried look.
“Where have you been?” I asked weakly. She looked confused for a second, before looking me over, a sad expression crossing her face, as she asked “How long has it been?”
“Five years.” I replied simply, staring at her, and hardly believing she was actually there.
“I’m so sorry!” she rushed forward, embracing me tightly. She held me for a couple minutes, before standing back up.
“You know,” she said, placing a gentle, comforting hand on my shoulder, “I know where there’s a crib with your name on it.”
I looked up, to see her smiling down at me warmly. I couldn’t help but smile back, as I took her hand, and she helped me up.
“Anissa?” I asked quietly.
“Yeah?” she, turned her head to look back at me, as she was about to start walking.
“Could I stay longer this time?”
“You can stay as long as you like.” she responded, turning, and leading me again towards the only place I’d ever truly felt at home