Is age play destructive to an adult life?

General
#1

I regularly struggle with my Infantilist feelings.

Not the original reasons of hating myself or thinking it was disgusting or that I was all alone. (Shoutout to this board for helping with that last one.)

Now I find that at least once a week I get overwhelmed by adult life and just want someone to swoop in and take care of me. It gets to the point of being self destructive, not self harming, but me basically not responding or taking care of myself.

I’ll snap out of a day or two later and rage and shame at myself for fucking up, but the cycle continues.

I was wondering if anyone else here has or continues to struggle with this impulse and has any advice.

Thanks for reading and for your time.

#2

Re: Is age play destructive to an adult life?

This is a good topic. Thanks for posting!
I’ve struggled with this as well. Sometimes adult life can be very overwhelming and stressful and I’ll have so many tasks I need to complete, but I’ll just want to slip into a diaper and be taken care of, like you said. I’ve often asked myself if its destructive or unhealthy, but the bottom line for me is this is a part of who I am and I can’t change that. I can, however, set boundaries for myself for when I get to be little or what needs to be done before I can be little. It’s important to find a balance–at least for me it is.

#3

Re: Is age play destructive to an adult life?

Yeah I totally agree that I can’t change the “little” part of me.

Your tactic of setting boundaries, or set a todo list before submerging into “little space” is very practical. My specific problem is that the feeling of being overwhelmed seems to be pervasive, that is, it slips in to everyday life in very subtle ways.

I was trying to address how you might deal with those emotions.

It sounds like you attempt to take of your little side and your adult side in equal measure, to find that balance.

While my problem might be more specific, I need a emotional exit strategy for when the rubber hits the road.

But I’m interested in what people think about this in general. It could very well be that I find the help I need simply by reading about how people think about and manage this issue.

#4

Re: Is age play destructive to an adult life?

I think everyone’s journey on the abdl road is different so I don’t think that it’s inherently destructive, but it definitely can be. It’s like anything I guess, if you let it control you it will become destructive.

For me personally I do not really get into the little head space all that often even though I am an AB, not from lack of trying or anything, just not the way I do things.

But there have been times where all I would do is sit in my room in a nappy and not come out and just let the world leave me behind. Which was definitely destructive as I became rather reclusive.

I think what is key to keeping this lifestyle healthy is to find balance. Like it is a coping mechanism but any coping mechanism can become unhealthy. A good example is alcohol, well with me anyway. When I’m doing assignments sometimes I get into my head and think that everything I do is just garbage so sometimes I will have a measure of whiskey just to well enjoy because whiskey is delicious but also to silence my inner critic. If I stop at one whiskey I’m golden and will be able to write confidently. However sometimes I think I need another one just to make sure, which leads to another and then another untill I am fairly pissed. So then there is no chance of me stringing two coherent sentences together. If I had of just had the one drink I would have been away with it but since I kept drinking I was not able to complete the task at hand.

So my point here is maybe the next time you need to be little, instead of going whole hog just wear a discrete nappy under your cloths and get on with your normal life. Draw power from it and then once you have conquered what ever has made you feel the need to get into that headspace relax and enjoy the feeling.

I was doing a phone interview once and I had been out of work for a long time, I’m normally really good at interviews but this time as I had been out of work and desperate for a job I had ballsed up the last couple of interviews. So since this was a phone interview I decided to wear a nappy and a onsie while doing it. The interview went really well and I got through to the next round. When I went to the face to face interview the guy just said well you did so well on the phone you have the job we just wanted to get you in here to make an offer, show you around and see if you think its a good fit.

So since I was wearing a nappy on the phone interview I was way more relaxed and self confident which helped me get that job. (The job was actually a really big mistake to accept but how and ever I did not know that at the time) So what I’m trying to say is that its healthy as long as it doesnt control you but once it starts to do that its when it becomes destructive.

#5

Re: Is age play destructive to an adult life?

I have had your concerns about my little side, but in my case the adult side seems to have enough interests and reasons to exist that it maintains balance. I have questioned this in others, but can’t speak with any certainty.

Now I find that at least once a week I get overwhelmed by adult life and just want someone to swoop in and take care of me. It gets to the point of being self destructive, not self harming, but me basically not responding or taking care of myself.

I’ll snap out of a day or two later and rage and shame at myself for fucking up, but the cycle continues.

What I can speak to is beating yourself up about the past, or even the present when we’re not “living up to standards.” It’s not helpful. For example, if I’m in an unmotivated malaise for a few days (happens occasionally in the winter, usually around February), I just sit around and veg on the idiot tube. Dishes and laundry pile up, groceries get low. I used to feel bad about this, then feel more overwhelmed that I had more to do because chores got backed up. As I’ve gotten older, though, I recognize this happens occasionally, I don’t have a good reason for it, but it passes and it’s no big deal. I get to be extra busy a few days afterward, as I catch up, but it’s not a big deal.

Some acquaintances with depression describe a similar thing. They get depressed, their life gets screwed up, then every time they reflect on it they think, “I screwed up and now it’s gonna be really hard to fix… this is depressing.” Learning not to fall into that catch-22 is one of the strategies for coping, and it comes down to being able to change thinking to, “I got depressed for a bit, and that’s okay. Now I’m ready to move on.”

So accept that life is not going to be an even keel. There are days you’ll be responsible, others you won’t. None of it is permanent, all of it is transient; it’s like the ebb and flow of the tide, only less regular. Let it happen, and try not to be upset by it.

#7

Re: Is age play destructive to an adult life?

This is of course just my own two cents worth here :slight_smile: but like others have said the answers are going to be varied from one to the next. For me I am a little girl to my daddy 24/7 but I am also an adult with those responsibilities I don’t have the issues as many AB’S have regarding nappies as I have a medical need for them as well as my emotional need for them.
But even when I am wearing my diapers and am my normally playful young minded happy self , I am always able to say to myself ok this has to be done because it’s part of life period. I work now again and for a very long time I wasn’t able to and I can understand the feelings of how to stop from the one area of life taking over all of life. I found that by at first when I realized this might be happening to me that I needed to make sure I pursued all of the things that I loved to do in my life with the same passion that I had at the time for the one thing that made me so happy when things were so bleak.
It wasn’t always easy to keep focused on being active in learning new things, writing, graphics etc. but it was worth pushing myself to do because in the long run it did pay off I guess I would suggest that if your feeling like you have a problem with stopping playing etc then maybe you should set yourself some rules about doing the other things in your life with as much focus as your play. Like I said I don’t know if my words will make any sense or not I know what daddy did with me worked great in the long haul and it also wasn’t easy to do but I’m a stubborn Lil girl:)

#8

Re: Is age play destructive to an adult life?

How is Stanley’s adult life? Question answered.

#9