Johnny's Wild adventure

Johnny is a 13 year old boy and is just starting his second year of high-school

"Mooom,I can get my own clothes out"Johnny whined as he threw the clothes his mother laid out for him on the floor

“Ok sweetie,I’ll remember for next time” She said in a quiet voice “Come down for your breakfast”

"Give me a minute moooom"he snarled

"Ok honey,don’t be long or your cereal will go soggy"she called

Johnny pulled out some ‘trendy’ clothes and put them on,he thought ‘Why do mom’s have such bad taste in clothes,urgh’

He raced downstairs into the dining room,sat down and wolfed down his cereal in the same amount of time it took him to fly down the stairs

“Gosh,that was fast” his mom yawned, ‘enthusiastically’ patting his head “You excited for your second year of school?”

“Yeah,I guess, are you excited about starting your new job?” he replied smiling

“Yes,thank you dear, I’m sure being a preschool teacher will be great” She grinned back picking up the empty bowl from the table

"Alright see ya mom"Johnny called,whilst walking to the hall to pick up his school bag,his mom chased after him

“Are you not going to give your mom a kiss?” She said anticipating a kiss on the lips

“Mooom” Johnny tutted “Alright”

He stood on his tip toes to try and meet his mother,who had to squat down.As he reluctantly kissed his mother on the cheek she slipped a piece of paper into his pocket,he then ran off out of the house to the large school bus that had just arrived.

“Kids” She laughed,waving goodbye to her son,who rolled his eyes and gave a simple nod.

She closed the door and then went back to washing the dishes.When she had finished she stepped into some plain black shoes and exited the house.She pressed a button on her keys and the car unlocked.She slipped into the comfy leather seats and started up the car, she then drove to work.Johnny sat down on the bus and got out the note that he been given.Inside it said ‘Have a good day at school’ with a five dollar bill stuck onto the piece of paper.“Sweet” he thought.Johnny wondered why there were a bunch of preschoolers on the bus,but he shrugged it off.He did the same with the fact that the bus driver had taken a different route than usual.The bus came to a halt and the bus driver groggily shouted “Ev’rybody get off”.It was obvious that he was drunk,he drove well but he was drunk.Instead of dropping him off at his high-school,the drunk bus driver dropped him off at a preschool.He ran in hoping to find his mother but after about an hour of searching he could not find her anywhere.He dropped to his knees and started to sob quietly in his little hands.One of the preschool teachers saw this and went over to Johnny.He looked up from sobbing and cried “I can’t find my mom”

"Your mom shouldn’t be here,what’s wrong,wheres your uniform?"She piled Johnny’s head with questions “Aww has somebody had an accident?”

He looked down to see a yellow puddle underneath him and a large wet patch on the front of his shorts.Johnny immediately blushed and started to sob again.

“Don’t worry,I’ll get you fixed up” She reassured as she picked him up

Johnny was quickly whisked to the changing table,the preschool teacher pulled of his sodden clothes and got out a fresh diaper.

Johnny’s eyes widened “I’M NOT WEARING A DIAPER!”

“You have to,we don’t want you wetting yourself now again,do we?” she smiled innocently

"I AM NOT WEARING A DIAPER!"Again he protested slamming his fist onto the changing table.

After a few minutes and a few tantrums later he settled and allowed himself to be diapered

“That’s a good boy” she praised pulling out a pair of shortalls emblazoned with ‘Sunny Ridge Preschool’ on the front and a yellow t-shirt with baby Bugs Bunny on it.

Johnny was about to have a tantrum about the clothes but he thought 'Its either these or wet pants.He agreed to the teacher putting them on him.Slowly and carefully,she lifted him down and sent him off to play with the other toddlers.He tutted but agreed since he had no cellphone to call his mom and going up to the front desk would result in an “Aww,isn’t he cute, go back to your toys ok”.He waddled over to an old tv which had baby cartoons on,he thought that this was better than playing so he sat down and started to watch the program.A few moments later,he sat enthralled by the cartoon,going along with the songs and clapping.An hour went by and Johnny was still enjoying the cartoon.A pain ran through his bladder,he needed to go to the bathroom,BAD,so he abandoned his newly loved cartoon and ran to one one the preschool teachers

Johnny tugged on the teacher’s pants and exclaimed “I need the bathroom,where is it”

Happily she replied,pointing to his pants “It’s right there hun”

"Wh…what no,I NEED the bathroom"he desperately squealed

Again she pointed to his crotch and said calmly “Right there hun,your diaper”

“I am not wetting myself” he cried tugging the teacher’s pants harder

"Sorry hun,there are no bathrooms in this building"she smiled and ushered him to go play.

With all the waiting he desperately needed to go,without warning he opened his bladder and warm pee flooded into his diaper,he was shocked,he had never wet himself since he was four years old and now he had done it twice in one day

“Storytime” a voice cooed,making all toddlers stop what they were doing and rush over to the woman who had called the word.Johnny followed and sat down on the carpet.Everyone was checked to see if their diaper was wet,Johnny and three other children were pulled out to change.Johnny was taken to a changing table,he started to moan as the teacher took off his shortalls,then his diaper.She cleaned his genitals and sprinkled him with baby powder.He was then put into a slightly thicker diaper and attaching it to him,he grunted but knew he wouldn’t get out of it,even though he was 13 not 3.She buttoned him up then sent his to the ‘story room’ with a small sippy cup of juice.He sat down and started to suckle on the nozzle of the cup.Something was wrong,very wrong, he was starting to enjoy it,(wearing a diaper,sippy cups,storytime).Once one of the stories of Peter Rabbit was over he was picked up and checked if he had wet the diaper,he hadn’t.

"Good boy"another preschool teacher awarded,giving him a little tickle under the armpits.He giggled to himself.His mind was racing with thoughts like:‘I’m starting to like being a toddler’,‘What am I doing here’ and ‘How do I explain this to Mom?’
He ran off to where the story was told and found himself being picked up and put into a crib.He started to bawl as the wooden gate was brought up to the teachers waist.

“Aww,is somebody scawed?” she said in a mocking tone,handing him a small stuffed bunny
The teacher then went away as Johnny again started to bawl.Suddenly,a relaxing lullaby filled the room with calm.Johnny started to toss and turn as his eyes eventually closed.He hugged the teddy bear he was given tighter as his sleep deepened.He was having a nightmare,a bad one.He was dreaming of himself as a baby and how life went.In short,it went badly.He dreamt that the teddy bear he was hugging grew and started to attack him.A flood of warm,yellow pee flew into his crotch and spread out into the back and sides of the diaper.He also dreamt that his mother found him plopping his food out in his highchair and he was spanked.Another gush of liquid gold flew into his diaper.He was now very scared.He winced and whined in the crib,rolling about.A poop started to fly out of his ass and into the sodden diaper,squishing about.He woke up and started to cry his eyes out.Almost immediately, teacher rushed over and started tending to him,trying not to wake the other toddlers.

“What’s wrong baba?” she whispered “Did somebody have a nightmare?”

Johnny nodded and started to suck his thumb,calming him down.The teacher soothed him and rocked him back and forth in a rocking chair until he fell asleep again.She laid him back into the crib and pulled a blanket over him.Thirty minutes later every toddler was woken up and sent to have their diapers changed.After everybody had changed they were sent back to play for the remaining half an hour of the day.Johnny got called over by the same teacher that put him in a diaper first thing this morning

“Honey,iv’e put your clothes in a bag so you can take them home for your mommy to wash 'em” The teacher grinned handing him the bag “Also,I put a few diapers in there so you don’t wet your pants tomorrow,now go off and play”

Johnny’s heart sank,he had been a 13 year old boy going into his second year of high-school but now he was a 2 year old who couldn’t keep his pants dry.He was studying to be a History professor but now he had to find when he had started this and how to end it.Some part of him though,wanted him to carry on,to re-live childhood again,fix the wrongs.Now was his decision,he was to re-live childhood or to carry on from the day before as if this day never happened.He waddled off back to the tv set that had his newfound favourite cartoon on,yet he couldn’t bear to watch it.It became vile to him,he never wanted to see it again but his body stayed in the same cross legged,transfixed state as before,almost as if he couldn’t look away,like his eyes were held open by the Ludovico technique.He sat like this for the last 20 minutes of the preschool day.Johnny took his bag of ammonia with him as he sprawled out of the doors,the same horrible,yellow tin can stood outside with the same old,drunk driver.The bus flooded with a sea of 2-3 year olds all anticipating their arrival home,everybody except Johnny.He was dreading what to tell his mom.He thought 'Why wasn’t she at her job,she was supposed to be working at Sunny Ridge Preschool,the one he accidentally took a trip to.His mom was in this,everything.He writhed with ire and resentment,he had been set up,by his mom nonetheless.She was gonna pay,oh yeah she was.Johnny’s little mind raced with elaborate plans on how to get ‘payback’ on his mother.The first stop was undoubtedly his,he had just started to think of plans.

“No time to think,just do it right there and then” he mumbled ,furiously rubbing his hands together.

“Seeya tomorrow,kid” the driver burped.

Johnny hopped off of the bus with his sack of ammonia and dashed down the pathway,contempt coursing through his veins.He opened the front door,mom was cooking.She turned and as she did found her son in a preschool outfit,with a sack of damp clothes and fresh diapers.She ran and picked up her ‘baby’ boy.

“What have you done?” she trembled

"You were in on this"Johnny screamed “You were not at that preschool where I was dropped off at,WHY?”

She said softly,putting her son down,“Hon,look you can’t just go straight into the job,you gotta train first”

Johnny continued to argue “Mom,you sent me on the wrong school bus,YOU were the one who sent me to preschool,YOU WERE THE … THE ONE WHO MADE ME PEE MY PANTS”

Johnny’s mother fell to the floor,crying just as he was,she gritted her teeth as she looked up to her son “I didn’t do any of that” she whispered softly

To be continued

1 Like

Re: Johnny’s Wild adventure

so far so good I like where this story is going can’t wait until the next installment

Sent from my SM-G900T using Tapatalk

Re: Johnny’s Wild adventure

It’s not terrible, but there are many areas where you can improve:

  • “13 year old boy and is just starting his second year of high-school” - Is Johnny extremely gifted or is this simply a mistake?

  • You seem to be missing spaces in many places, most notably after much of your dialogue, following the closing quotation mark, as well as a couple places after commas.

  • Johnny seems to have mysteriously de-aged, with no solid explanation given as to why. He also didn’t seem too fazed by that. Hopefully this will be covered later.

  • I’m pretty sure most buildings are required by law to have a bathroom. I’m assuming the “teachers” don’t wear diapers either.

Re: Johnny’s Wild adventure

Some classic in building dealing with small children or babies that still diaper does not need a bathroom during class for that reason so this could be what the author meant. I like the story so far and look forward to more and like other little more detail into the character John. However grade does not seem right for that age because most 13 years in middle school at that age if in a USA.
Kindergarten - 4–5

1st Grade - 5–6

2nd Grade - 6–7

3rd Grade - 7-8

4th Grade - 8–9

5th Grade - 9–10

Middle School - Grade 6 - 10–11

Grade 7 - 11–12

Grade 8 - 12–13

High School - Grade 9 13–14

Grade 10 14–15

Grade 11 15–16

Grade 12 16–17 Graduation

Re: Johnny’s Wild adventure

Yeah, I’m only going to comment one thing, and it’s not the story directly: Please don’t assume that a user is in the US or in a country where the rules of US grades apply. They aren’t. Location based on IP address says the claim of second year of high school and 13 are perfectly valid.

Re: Johnny’s Wild adventure

I am in Britain but I prefer to use the word diaper because it sounds better

Re: Johnny’s Wild adventure

By the way,I made one of the teachers say that there aren’t any bathrooms in the building because I wanted her to portray a sense of infantilism on Johnny.There are of course bathrooms in the building but to make it seem a slight bit easier for Johnny she told him there weren’t any

Re: Johnny’s Wild adventure

I am not an experienced writer,yes I may have an English degree but that doesn’t really matter if you are up late at night,working on tow projects at once.I know I don’t have to work on this but I want to.I want to contribute to our large community by writing.I am new to writing in this genre anyway.

My most sincere apologies for the mistakes I made

Re: Johnny’s Wild adventure

[quote=SnugglyDiaper link=topic=6886.msg69218#msg69218 date=1469514449]
I am in Britain but I prefer to use the word diaper because it sounds better

Re: Johnny’s Wild adventure

Thank you Renko.You are a solace.Thank you for pointing it out.I am sure I will try to do the same In part 2.

SnugglyDiaper

Re: Johnny’s Wild adventure

Actually, for most of the US, you have an off-by-one error in your ages there.

It should be:

Kindergarten - 5–6

1st Grade - 6–7

2nd Grade - 7–8

3rd Grade - 8-9

4th Grade - 9-10

5th Grade - 10-11

Middle School - Grade 6 - 11–12

Grade 7 - 1–13

Grade 8 - 13–14

High School - Grade 9 14–15

Grade 10 15–16

Grade 11 16–17

Grade 12 17–18 Graduation

Also just something else to be aware, not all of the US ends Elementary at grade 5 and Middle at 8th. It’s not uncommon in smaller districts for elementary to end at grade 6 and have middle only be 7th - 8th. And just for shits and giggles, I have to point out I know of at least one district in Oklahoma that still uses the old K-6, 7-9, 10-12 combo :slight_smile:

Re: Johnny’s Wild adventure

[quote=SnugglyDiaper link=topic=6886.msg69222#msg69222 date=1469515570]
Thank you Renko.You are a solace.Thank you for pointing it out.I am sure I will try to do the same In part 2.

SnugglyDiaper

Re: Johnny’s Wild adventure

Yeah, school grade distributions are weird. Where I used to live, middle school was 6-8 and high school was 10-12. Where I live now, middle school is 7-8 and high school is 9-12.

Re: Johnny’s Wild adventure

To the writer,

Please know that this is coming from a place of love. Or, if you’d prefer, “Luvs”, because this is an ABDL story site and diaper puns are required according to the terms of use, last I checked.

I feel about this story the same way I feel about the movie Jupiter Ascending. There’s a good story hiding in there somewhere, but it’d require a different movie with a different script to tell it.

I’m not going to go “easy on you”, because in my experience that’s never worked. Honestly, I’ve never seen criticism of any kind work if the writer wasn’t open to it.

Writing fiction, especially fantasy fiction, is more than just syntax and grammar and making sure to use correct homophones and having varied ways to say “he said,” and “she said”.

It’s using words to craft an illusion so that the person who reads your words sees the same kind of things and feels the same kind of feelings that you do when you’re imagining this story in your head. To make the reader accept what you’re putting on paper as plausible and possible, even if it’s not, because they’ve accepted all of the sensory data and logic into their heads already using your words.

You’ve got no illusion to your story. At no point am I particularly invested in anything. I don’t feel like I know anything about anything in your story other than a brief summary of events. This reads like a middle school book report about a better story.

There’s no description of any character. I don’t know what Johnny, his mother, the toddlers, the bus driver, the teacher, or anything. Other than the shortalls and t-shirt part, I don’t see any mention of what the clothes look like. I don’t know what the environment looks like.

And that’s just sight. Other than admittedly very varied ways of saying what people said and how they said it, there’s no significant description of any sounds, textures, smells, or tastes.

These things are important, too. They give clues to the reader about connections and the world around them and about people’s pasts.

What clothes does John’s mom put out for him? What clothes does he select for himself? He doesn’t like what his mom picks out, and he puts on “trendy” clothes, but there’s no further information provided. John and his Mom clearly have different perceptions on how he should dress, and therefore how he should presented himself and be presented, but you never stated what those perceptions are.

You say the school bus driver is drunk, but you don’t give any clues. Is the driver bad at driving, swerving all over the road? Is there alcohol on their breath? Is their uniform wrinkled and stained like they are slovenly? Do they slur their speech or sway from side to side unless they concentrate?

Then there’s all the logical leaps that you make. First and most obviously is the baby stuff. I’ve met very few 13 year olds that could fit into a regular diaper, and it would be a very very tight squeeze at best in the few cases that likely could. I know America’s got an obesity problem, but I don’t think we’re alone in the “Teenagers can’t fit into regular diapers” thing. And toddler size shortalls? No way. No way at all. Not gonna happen. Fitting into a crib or onto a changing table without dangling comically off the edge or breaking it? Possible, I suppose, but it’d be a squeeze in most cases.

Now maybe John is small for his age. I don’t know. You never told me that.

Maybe he’s shrinking and physically regressing. There’s no stimulus information to where I’d think that.

Maybe the clothes and diapers are custom made for kids his size because this is one of those stories where the place mentally regresses him to be a toddler but leave him otherwise normal. There’s no indication of that.

Maybe his mind is being altered already. Perhaps, but there’s no indication of that either. We don’t even know what John’s default mind is, so we can’t know when his perceptions are being tampered with. We don’t know anything about John before during or after his regression.

He has no personality that I can detect other than to just go with it and accept everything as inevitable. I see no reasoning in anything he does.

-He doesn’t like the clothes his mom sets out for him. What is the REASON?
-He goes with it when he gets on a bus that clearly isn’t catering to his age demographic. There has to be a REASON that he does this.

  • He doesn’t even question or interact with the bus driver about being in High School. It’s not like he’s just gonna teleport outside of the bus and be unable to get back on the bus. There has to be a REASON that he gets off the bus.
  • He makes no attempt to ask for a phone so he can contact his mom or at least the high school or leave the Pre-School. There has to be a REASON why.
  • He’s not at all freaked out that he’s a 13 year old boy who is being manhandled so non-chalantly, like carried off to a changing table. That should be a lot harder than it sounds, and there has to be a REASON that he doesn’t notice how weird this is or object.
  • Other than throwing a temper tantrum for a few minutes (once again no descriptions, does he just lay on the changing table with his dick in the open air and sob?) he does not object to diaper wearing or being dressed in such a way. What’s the REASON for him doing this?
  • When he is told to use his diaper, so non-chalantly, I get that the teacher is trying to regress him and is therefore lying. But the fact that he doesn’t so much as even question this is weird. Why? What’s his REASONING?
  • He has an urge to go re-live his life and avoid the mistakes that he made the first time? What mistakes? Other than an obvious hypnotic suggestion/magic making him want to do that, what real motivation is there for even a part of him to want this. What mistakes and weaknesses are there for him to have preyed upon?
  • He jumps to a lot of conclusions too. Like that his mom is behind this. Behind what? Not being at a weird pre-school that treats him like a baby? Umm…don’t go back? No one is making him.
  • And his mom is like “nooooooo! I didn’t do it!” Do what? Make your son wet his pants and come back wearing a diaper? It’s not like either character, especially the mom (unless she was in on it) would have reason to believe that this pants wetting diaper wearing thing was permanent.

Honestly this whole thing reads like a bunch of cut scenes from an RPG in which the player has no control over what happens and there’s no real interacting with NPC’s. You just gotta get off the bus so you can go to the pants wetting scene so you can get right to the diapers, don’t bother interacting with the NPC’s that don’t trigger the event, they’ll just give you filler details.

And yeah, he’s hypnotized by the cartoons and stuff, I get that. But it makes no impact because you don’t tell us what John’s thoughts are in a way that makes us care. We don’t sense the regression because we have zero indication of where John started from.

And I get it, flawed circular logic being used as a method of regression and diapering is a staple of AB stories, and it’s fun and it totally has a place, but you have to hold up that flawed logic against real logic for the reader to appreciate it. If the character is overwhelmed mentally and emotionally and can’t think straight we have to see what it’s like for them to be able to think straight in the first place.

If something is changing the environment or something is weird or out of place, the character has to notice it too, if only briefly before they can be coerced or tricked or manipulated or hypnotized or magicked et. al. into being a baby.

Emotionally, it’s watching a normal guy walk into a makeup trailer and sit in a chair for a couple hours while people put wolf-man makeup and then come out of the trailer striking poses and being the wolf-man. Before we saw the actor, now we’re seeing the character. When really, I wanted to watch the movie about the guy turning into a werewolf and watch the transformation in the full cinematic effect.

You have no characters here. No emotions. No thoughts. No illusion. Just a series of events happening to blank slates, described with good spelling and only a few minor punctuation errors.

My honest recommendation is to go back and re-read what you’ve wrote. Re-read it out loud. Record yourself if you can in some way if you need to so that you can listen to yourself and not focus on the story that you have in your head. Focus on the words that you have written down and pretend you know nothing about what’s going on in your head as you wrote this. See how little information about everything you’ve got in your head that you’ve actually conveyed

I’m willing to bet you’ve got a good story, with sensory information, emotions, and thoughts, all going on in your head, but you’ve left so much of it out of the words that you wrote down.

Edit: I’m sorry, you did cover, briefly about the drunkenness and the phone. It was just so brief and flimsy that I forgot about it by the time I got to the end, I had forgotten about it. You didn’t even bother to have him get in any arguments or test the circular logic, you just had him conclude right away with no evidence one way or another that he was going to lose, so might as well not try.

Also, if he’s enjoying this like you say he is, why is he mad at his mom?

Re: Johnny’s Wild adventure

I’ll second this.
In fact, after reading his post. Go through cross-check your story, and see how each one of his points applies to it.

I’ll just drop a personal opinion.

Pooping and peeing supposed to be nasty, by default.
Some of us agree with that; others think that just one of those is nasty, and yet there is also another group who thinks that neither of those are nasty.

You need to pick the tone of how you want to describe diapers and their use.

There seem to be two camps.
The first camp puts little description into the actual act; but focuses on the character, the character’s reaction, or the meaning of the act.
This is the less common style, and stories that follow it, usually have more ‘story’ to them.
“Lily the Liar” is a good example of this. (it’s also a good example of good writing habits, but I’m too busy crying, to learn anything while I read it) Lily’s first messing barely described the act, but focus on her fear of judgement from other people, or her Aunt. The scene describes Lily, not her butt, and how she smeared a mess all over it.

The second camp puts gratuitous description into the act. Just because there is also gratuitous description of crying, and/or other emotions, doesn’t mean it’s about the emotions. It barely matters who’s doing it, or what they think about it; only that it happens, and we get a close up view.
I’ll risk it, and say that these types of stories are much more frequently ‘fap fiction.’
I’ll use myself as an example. There’s a story on here called “Running in the Snow.” I take a decent paragraph, and several sentences to describe a girl messing her diaper. Then, I dream up a reason for it to get smeared around, added to, and then wet on top; all while zooming the camera way in, to the point that you forget there’s actually a person attached to the pooping butt.

Now, neither of those styles are ‘good’ or ‘bad.’ (the examples are, though. :wink: )
It’s really a matter of what you want to do with your story. I support both.
I suppose it is possible to mix the two, somewhat.

On to the next part of my opinion.
The words themselves.

You used.

“Bag of ammonia”
“liquid gold”
“a poop started to fly out of his ass”

First, “bag of ammonia” is creative, and I like it; but.
Who’s the narrator?
The narrator, in a third-person perspective, should (in my opinion) usually just tell it like it is, describing as necessary. Facts and description. “Bag of ammonia” is an informal title. If you had the MC give the bag its ‘name,’ then having the narrator call it that would make more sense. As it is, the narrator is an unknown; and it’s not established that (s)he would add their own, personal flair to the narration.

If the title of the wet clothes, is supposed to heap more shame on the MC, you should have an actual character (MC included) do that, or at least give some introduction to the narrator. If the narrator is going to be adding to the story, they should get some background.

Second “liquid gold.”
Pretty much the same as the above. This seems to be added more for humor than anything else. Again, the narrator isn’t well (at all) established, so this seems really out of place.

Last “a poop started to fly out of his ass”
Okay, you said ‘started’ but the conclusion “,squishing about.” doesn’t really work. If nothing happened between when it started, and when it ended; and if it’s a single sentence anyway, why not just say ‘it did.’

I don’t like how you used “ass.”
Once again, it’s a flair, added by narration that just doesn’t seem right.
If the narrator was established as rude, or spiteful, or humorous; then these might’ve worked.
If you use “ass,” it adds a more ‘mature’ tone. If you just said “behind” it would remain neutral.
“Ass” isn’t a cute word. Cute is something that a lot of these stories go for. If you want “cute” as a theme, you need to use appropriate words. If you want “innocent” as a theme, you probably shouldn’t use swears in the narration.

I find profanity to imply maturity (age, adulthood.) With adulthood come sexual tones (usually.) When there’s a sexual tone, you probably don’t want 13 year-olds involved. This is just my opinion, but it seems better when an author steers clear of words like “ass,” “tits,” or “pussy,” when minors are involved. The tone becomes crude, and that gets a little ‘icky’ for me.

Children have a sexual innocence about them, words that don’t have that, don’t fit well.

/opinion

Anyway, I’m up too late again. Apologies if none of the above makes any sense.

I think it a good story. I wish there was a update

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