Journal

I thought I would do something a little different. A Journal entry format. You won’t get a name, color of hair, height, gender etc, because people don’t put that stuff in journals (at least, no one I knows does that). In this story you are reading from my character’s journal. It is one of my first works, and will hopefully become my first completed story. This first part is a little short, but I want to go for a daily entry sort of thing. Hopefully the entries will get longer as time goes on and I get better. I hope you all enjoy, and give feedback. I need all the constructive criticism that I can get.

Monday, December 7, 2015

It has been long enough. Actually it has been too long at this point. The last time I wrote an entry was… I’m going to look it up. Ah, yes it was four months ago on September 13th right after I started my first year of college and bought my first laptop. So much has happened since then. My hair is now slightly longer than my shoulders, but it still need to grow more if I want to give it to Locks of Love. My goals are pretty much the same, but a few parts have changed, so I’ll just go over the whole plan again.

First I am going to take care of my core classes here at the community college. That will be done by the end of spring semester next year. Next I move to Idaho. Then comes the fork in the road. If Plan A works I will be eligible to go on a two year mission for my church. If it doesn’t ,Plan B, move in with grandparents and take the bus to BSU. There I will major in electrical engineering and minor in Japanese Studies. In any case, after Plan A is Plan B anyway, and If I have to do plan B I can come back to plan A next year. After all that I will apply for a Monbukagakusho Scholarship and study in Japan. Then get a career as either an energy engineer specializing in renewable energy, or an interpreter/translator. Once that is done, or somewhere along the line, I will get married, run a foster home, adopt the ones who will never find a good home, and maybe have a few kids of my own.

That’s pretty much the whole plan. Now to catch up on the more recent events. It is 1 AM right now, my first final is this Tuesday and they end this Friday. Grades look like they will average at a 3.0. It’s ok, but we both know that it’s not the best I can do. Next semester I want to pull it up to a 3.5, which means that I can only get one B. It should all work out. This semester I am taking World Religions, Intro to Chemistry+Lab, Intro to computer Concepts, and Career Exploration. Next semester I will take Calculus with Analytical Geometry, General Psychology, General Chemistry+Lab, and Intro to Computer Programming.

Now that School is out of the way, we need to talk about the real issues. The last two weeks went well, but yesterday… yesterday you failed. It is time to stop. You know you can’t go on a mission with this problem. I know why you do it, but it must stop. Look, we have been doing this for many years, and we know why we must stop. First of all, without this problem… no let’s call it what it is, without this addiction, our productivity increases. We can focus on the things we need to, like school, language study, learning about renewable energy, and reading all those books. Second… well… never mind, we both know that it’s not right, that should be enough.

Still… .No, I shouldn’t think like that. I know it’s wrong. I stop today. Okay, from last week it took three days without scripture reading to get to the point where I… when it happened. As long as I read my scriptures every day I should be fine. The temptations will be there, but I will be able to resist them. …should I get rid of … no, once I quit I won’t need them. Until then keeping all my stuff will help me get stronger. If I don’t use them when they are right in front of me, I will be much better off then if they were inaccessible, gone, thrown away, you get the point.

Anyway, as of today I am ABDL no more.

Re: Journal

I’ve seen journal entry AB stories before and, in the ones I preferred, the main character wasn’t the writer of the journal. The downside of making the main character the journal-writer is, as you’ve said, “you won’t get a name, color of hair, height, gender.”

Also, most people entries aren’t particularly long, so you might want to trim later ones - but I’ll grant that a first entry after a long hiatus makes sense.

The biggest problem, for me, is the cringe that this character brings. Dude is all self-hating and teenage angst but I suppose that makes sense for a guy in CC, but he’s a weeaboo to boot. That, of course, is my personal bias, but being an anime fan and religious this character makes me want to slap him for making me work so hard in my college days against the biases people held towards both anime and religion. He’s a nerd and irks me, probably because I was a little like him when I was nineteen.

At the same time, congrats on making a character that got such a visceral response from me in five paragraphs. I still suggest you make the main character someone other than the narrator - I think that’ll make for a better story.

Re: Journal

Thanks for the advice. I might do a few longer entries at start, and then get shorter. Remember this person has not written in the journal for a while, so they have some catching up to do.

I like your idea of making someone other than the narrator as the main character. I want to keep this person in focus for now, but later on I think I’ll have a little fun with perspective switching.

As I mentioned before, I am going for a daily entry sort of thing. To minimize any confusion I must clarify my intentions. This will be written in journal format progressing at a rate of one entry per day. I the writer will post one entry each day, thus I and my character progress one day in real time between posts and entries. Hopefully this will be both enjoyable and frustrating for any readers. The frequent updates should please everyone, and the short posts should upset everyone.

Tonight will be an exception. Because this morning’s entry was written at 1 am, I am counting it as yesterday’s post. An update is approaching, it will be finished by midnight (EST).

Re: Journal

Hi everyone! This one is a bit longer, but I thought it would be good to introduce more characters (even if I don’t let you know who they are yet mwahahaha). I am trying to keep it realistic and detailed, while still leaving pretty much everything in the dark. At the same time, I am starting to develop the plot line. You can see pieces of it here, but most of it is foundation.

I realize that this entry is a bit choppy at times. This is because I modeled it after my own journal entries which are also choppy. Should I keep the choppy tone or go for a more fluid narrative tone? Please leave feedback as I am still a new writer. I hope you enjoy.

Monday, December 7, 2015

Hi me! Me again. Yep! Today was great. When I woke up, the Christmas tree was decorated. It looks really nice this year. I had a bagel with cream cheese this morning. I like those. I also like English muffins with strawberry jam and cream cheese.

After that Devon came over. He has had a motorcycle for a month or two now. I should probably write down my family stuff so that I don’t forget it later on in life. Devon is living with Brian and Mary right now, but he is supposedly moving out in January. Brian and Mary have been married for over a year now. They have lots of dogs but no kids. I’m sure they’ll get around to it sooner or later.

Kate is almost never home. She is in her senior year and works at Dunkin Donuts, so she is only around early in the morning and late at night. Usually she is home between 10:30 and 11:00. Most of the time I stay up and we do stuff together at night. Little stuff nothing big. Sometimes we talk, other times we watch TV together. It’s nice. A few nights ago she was telling me about what she wanted to get Grandma for Christmas, tickets to Celtic Women. We checked on the seats and they were filling up fast, so I bought the tickets and told her she could pay me back later.

She has been going out with Tom for about a year now, but he has been busy working at Autozone, and only gets one day off per week. I know it may sound kinda mean, but I am glad that he has to work so much. I like spending time with my cousin. She is nice, and fun to be around.

After eating breakfast, we watched Ms. Miracle. It was a cute movie, and I liked it. Afterward Kate played with me a little. Nothing big, we just wrestled over the remote. It was fun. It would be nice if we could have more moments like that.

Once that was done I played fetch with Scrappy a bit. He is about 4 years old now. Light is about 10 years old now. He doesn’t like to play any more, but he loves to cuddle. He will just jump up right beside you when you are sitting down then lay on his back with his belly exposed. He is like a big baby sometimes.

Anyway, back to the rest of the family, TJ Is working at the Island Grill. He has been working there for a few years now. Recently he has been taking me out driving. Just last week he taught me how cruise control works. He is nice and gets me small gifts and presents every now and then. He may be my cousin, but to me he is like the big brother I never had.

After playing with Scrappy, Grandma came home. We ate hot dogs for lunch and I put away the clean dishes. Following that I finished reading The Acts. I enjoyed the parts where Paul used his Roman citizenship to get a fair trial, and when he divided the Sadducees and Pharisees against each other in chapter 23. He can be a pretty awesome guy.

Following that, I finished up some chemistry homework, chatted to one of my friends, and watched TV. Around that time Mary and Brian came over. We talked a bit and caught up. Brian locked his keys in the car, so we had to call a locksmith. He was pretty pissed off. By the time the locksmith got there TJ had already found a way to open the door, so Brian had to pay the locksmith $60 just for showing up. When they left we ate chicken wings for dinner.

Kate just got home, but it looks like she’s going to bed. I have an exam tomorrow so I’m going to hit the sack, or maybe watch some more TV. Whatever, goodnight, we’ll talk tomorrow, goodbye.

Re: Journal

A standard day. The plot slowly comes together. It is unlikely that this story will finish in a month. I am attempting to instill a sense of realism in this story to the extent that readers may question the fictitious nature of this piece.

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

I am tired. I went to bed at two, and woke at seven. It is now eight at night. I finished my first exam today. I think I did okay. After that me and a couple of guys got together and played super smash bros and Wii sports resort on the Wii U. On the way home I slept on my first bus, and for the second bus, I got on the wrong one. It took me downtown instead of home. TJ had to come and pick me up. I am lucky to have such a great cousin.

I read the first few chapters of Romans. Paul said cool stuff, as usual. I’m not really feeling it tonight.

I went exploring on the deep web today. I was looking for a news site or gaming blog, but the directories had a lot more than that. Hacking, guns, drugs, porn, among other things. If I wanted to, I could even hire an assassin. In the end, all I found was an e book site. I am going to stick with politifact when it comes to election stuff.

I’m going to sleep now.

Re: Journal

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

I write now at 11:14 PM. to record the events of the day. Last night I retired around 9:30. During the night I awoke. Upon awakening, I could not go back to sleep. The time was 2:00 AM. I then proceed to binge watch both seasons of Noragami (ノラガミ). Upon realizing that the second season was not yet finished, I was filled with feelings of both pleasure and dismay. I then slept until 4:00 PM. During this time I was engaged in lucid dreams. I felt, heard, and saw things. I was in control, yet at the same time it was like I was outside of myself, giving direction. All other details pertaining to my dream have faded away into the void.

When I woke, I took an exam for a career class that I have been taking online. It was short and there were only 25 questions. Even so, my performance was no more than satisfactory. The grade I received was an 84%, which left my final grade for that class at 79.6%. I have fallen short of my own ambitions due to the desires of my carnal mind. For this could have easily been prevented, had I been focused on my future instead of feeding the perverse temptations my of my body. Within the Garden it was said to Peter “The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”. Likewise have I been subdued by the temptations of the flesh, yet in those times my spirit was unwilling.

I must renew my strength, repent of my sins, and keep the temptations of my sodomy at bay. This must be done.

Upon finishing the test, there was dinner, then we watched TV. The show, was an adaption of a book I had. The book was rather enjoyable, and brought many new thought and concepts to ponder. The movie adaption was very much different, but the setting was the same, and some of the characters similar. Despite differences, it retained the same allure that made me love it in the first place. The Man in the High Castle will always have a place in my memories.

From then up to this point I have been making preparations for the Chemistry test tomorrow. With a clear mind, and a steady heart I shall end this day, and begin renewed on the morrow.

Re: Journal

This is it. This character is done for now. No more entries for this person. Tomorrow will be someone else, after that I may go perspective hopping, I may change out main characters, introduce new ones, add multiple plot lines. There are many things being considered. I realize that this plot line segment was short (only 5 days), but I think it made a good start. Anyway, enjoy today’s entry!

Friday, December 11, 2015

Today was perfect. When I woke up, grandma said she was going into town and that she could drop me off instead of having me take the bus. This gave me an extra hour and a half of prep time for chemistry. Needless to say, I was well prepared for whatever was coming my way. A good breakfast, a large packed lunch, too many writing tools all gave way to a better exam, but one thing made even more of a difference. In this case, not for the exam, but for my life.

I decided to wear a Goodnite for the test. I had the entire stash from before. Goodnites, baby wipes, powder, even Molicare diapers, the good ones. As I am no longer using them to suit my sinful desires of procreation, I figured it would be acceptable to put them to more practical application. I wore them during the test, though I did not need them for their intended purpose, and continued wearing them as an undergarment afterward. Even as I am writing this I am wearing it. I shall continue to wear it until I shower tomorrow morning.

Though I did not need it, it could have prevented an otherwise undesirable situation, and in that respect I felt more secure. Even as an undergarment, it differed in no way from my normal attire. By that, I refer to the fact that my change of attire seemed to have no significantly noticeable affect on a certain member of those parts. In this, I realize I have made a great stride. If I only use my supplies in times where they would be beneficial to myself in a worthwhile manner, and only in ways that would give them practical applications separate from the guiles and temptations of the flesh, then I need not waste them, and should put them to good use.

I have reached a goal that I have long hoped for, yet never achieved until now. I have found a way to fulfill my desires ,to use these supplies in a comforting, secure, and practical manner, without giving into the sinful temptations that I have previously associated with them. Thus adding a new layer of innocence and integrity to the experience, which makes it all the more worthwhile. Today, I am a new person. I am reborn a Diaper Lover, and instilled with a higher purpose than before. Because now, I can seek out my desires without guilt, without sin. I can now be pure again.

The exam went well. Though I do not know my grade, I am inclined to believe that it is within the upper nineties. Effectively giving me an A for the class. Afterward I celebrated, shared my large lunch with friends, and played a few video games with others. I got home, ate a satisfying meal of beef stew, and read a few chapters of a book.

Kate came home a good while ago. A friend of hers is staying the night. She came to me asking for advice. A guy friend of hers (not Tom) is hosting a Christmas Party. He really likes Disney, and she would like to get him a gift, but she doesn’t know what to get. I brought up a few ideas, but they don’t seem like the best match for him. The best Idea I have so far is a watch, or maybe one of those fuzzy throw-plush blankets. Those are sooooo nice, I love them ^.^ . I haven’t told her that last one yet. I’ll do that tomorrow.

It’s time for this little guy to get in bed, snuggle with a blankie, and go to sleep. Goodnite! ^w^