We’ve been together for two years now, and my girlfriend still blushes a beautiful shade of red when I ask her about her diaper.
It’s not so much the question itself, but rather the fact that by the time I ask, she has always been wet for a while. But she hardly ever notices that before I ask.
There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with her sensation. After it’s pointed out, it gets very obvious to her. For whatever reason, she just doesn’t happen to pay attention to having wet herself before someone brings it up.
And if she stops to think, she might remember that oh yeah, a few hours ago it did feel like she needed to go. But then a while later she didn’t have that feeling anymore, so she probably wet herself in the meanwhile.
It used to be that she had an alarm in her phone to remind her to check every now and then. These days I just ask her instead.
She’s 26, and no closer to being out of diapers now than she was at 2 years and 6 months. She had started going potty for her bigger business almost half a year before that, so her parents thought that the rest of her toilet training would be easy.
But that didn’t happen. They tried putting her in regular underwear so that she’d start to notice when she got wet, and took her to doctors to see if there was any physical issue. A lot of wet underwear and interrupted activities later, she started getting anxious whenever she wasn’t in diapers, and none of the doctors ever found anything.
Fortunately she had the luck of being homeschooled and avoiding bullying at school, and she spent a lot of time with friends her age who’d always known her and didn’t make a big deal of their friend having this quirk. But even then, there was no way to avoid developing a lot of embarrassment and shame around it.
She knows that I’m okay with it. Still, each time that I ask, her first reaction is always embarrassment and looking down at her feet. And my reaction then is always to pull her into an embrace, to hold her close and feel her squeezing even closer to me. I can feel her fast and shallow breaths, the way that it turns into a light arousal as soon as her mind remembers that she’s safe.
“It’s alright”, I might say softly into her ear, gently stroking her hair. “That’s what my baby’s diapers are for.”
She wouldn’t take kindly to most people calling her a baby. But when she’s in my arms and hears me saying those words, she lets out a deep breath and I can feel her whole body relaxing. The truth is that she has always felt like a baby. She has just needed someone to tell her that it’s okay, that she’s lovable just the way she is.
She withdraws from my embrace a little bit, just enough that we can look each other in the eyes. There’s still a redness on her face, but now there’s also a smile, a bit of a playful glint in her eyes.
“If I’m a baby, can I have a pacifier too?”
“Of course you can. But I want a kiss first.”
We exchange a good, long kiss, then I grab a pacifier and put it in her mouth. I can see her smile widening as she starts sucking on it.
“Let’s get you changed, then”, I tell her.
If you had told me two and a half years ago that I’d have a girlfriend who I thought looked adorable with a pacifier and in diapers that I enjoyed changing, I’d have told you… I have no idea what I’d have told you, to be honest. But here we are.
I wouldn’t have to take her to the bathroom for a change - she’s just wet, I could change her in any room - but it adds something extra when I can take her by the hand and lead her to be changed.
In the bathroom, she presses her hands against the wall and leans back as I first unbutton and unzip her jeans and pull them down, then blushes another time as I look at her with appreciative eyes. This time she isn’t looking down, though - as our eyes meet, she almost forgets to even breathe, let alone suck on her pacifier, as I hold her gaze.
“That diaper and that pacifier look great on you”, I tell her honestly, touch her chin. “They’re just… very you. I love seeing you in them and knowing that you feel safe in them. And that you are safe in them too, the thickness of that diaper meaning that it’ll keep your jeans dry for however long it takes before I get to change you, its wetness meaning that it has done that for a while already and you’ve been totally fine. And I love the way that the curves of your thighs come out from underneath that diaper.”
I’ve told her exactly those same things a hundred times by now. They still make her rapidly blink as tears come up in her eyes.
I leisurely open her diaper’s four tapes, one by one. Sometimes I do it faster, but there’s no rush. I pull it down from her, fold it closed, refasten the tapes so that it stays that way. After putting it away, I open the closet where we have new ones.
“You’re not going anywhere today, are you?” I ask.
She shakes her head with a smile and a look of pleasant anticipation. If she’d be going somewhere out in public, the ordinary white diapers would be for that. She’d been out doing errands earlier, so that was the kind of a diaper she just had on. But given that it’ll be just the two of us at home, there’s nothing to stop me from putting her in one of those thicker ABDL diapers with cute prints.
I take her jeans properly off rather than just having them pulled down, since the cute diapers are too thick to wear with those pants. It’s warm inside, so she doesn’t need to have anything on top of her diaper, anyway.
I take her hand and lead her to the bedroom, unfold the diaper on the bed and have her lie down on it. I could change her entirely while standing, too, but she likes this more. Feels more like a baby this way.
“Do the tapes feel good? Tight but not too much?” I ask. When she nods, I finish fastening them and then lie down on the bed next to her. She turns to face me and I pull the pacifier out of her mouth. I hold it as we exchange another long kiss, and then I put it away on the table next to the bed. I want to see her face properly.
“How’s my little baby feeling now?”, I ask.
“Like a baby. Happy and safe and loved.”
I lean in and pull her into an embrace again. “I love you very much.”
“I love you very much too.”
Then we just stay there, holding each other, with nothing more needing to be said.