Kira & co.

“I think you should come and take a look at this” Andrew called to his wife, Kerrie.
“What?” she asked.
“The search history on the computer” Andrew replied.
“Why, what about it?” Kerrie asked.
“A sites that is on it” Andrew said “called www.localhost.localnet/stories/”
“Ok what is it?” Kerrie asked.
“The site, that have loads of stories about kids and adults, that wear diapers and act like babies, some of them even involve spanking” Andrew said “it’s all fiction, and there is a declaimer saying These stories are for adult recreation and entertainment. The author in no way advocates the abuse or exploitation of real children”.
“Ok who was the last person on the computer” Kerrie asked.
“Kira was” he said.

Kira is there 11 year old daughter, but she only looked about 7/8 years old, she had long strawberry blonde hair and hazel eyes and her full name is Kira Loise Norris.

“So that’s why she always clears the search history when she has been on the computer” Kerrie stated
“Looks like it” Andrew said.
“We need to talk to her about it” Kerrie said.
“I know” Andrew said, “would it bother you if she wanted to act like a baby again, if that’s what she wants” he asked.
“Of course, I wouldn’t mind having my baby back, if that’s what she wants” Kerrie said.
“Tell you what” Andrew said “we will order in an Indian and speak to her about it over dinner”
“Sounds good” Kerrie said picking up the phone, and ordering the food. Kerrie ordered 3 chiken curries and 2 large spiced potatoe wedgies
" It will be here in about 45 minuets" she said.
“That’s good we have got some time to prepare for this then” Andrew said

30 mins later there was a knock at the door.
“Ah hello, how much” Andrew asked
“$35” the delivery man said
Andrew only had 20s so he gave the man $40 and told him to keep the change

“Kira, dinner” Andrew called up the stairs.
“Coming dad” she called back.
“That smells nice” Kira said as she entered the kitchen to where Kerrie and Andrew was dishing up the dinner.

They ate dinner and randomly chatted.

“Kira, could we have a quick word before you go back up stairs please” Andrew asked
“Sure dad” Kira said walking over and sitting on the arm chair

“Ok first, you need to know, we are not angry disappointed ashamed or anything like that, and no matter what you chose to do we will still love you ok” Kerrie said

“Ok” Kira said thinking ‘did I clear the search history earlier’, “whats this all about?” Kira asked.

“Well after you had finished on the computer yesterday, I went on there” Andrew said.
The look of panic was evident in Kira’s eyes.
“Come and sit on my lap” Andrew said.
Kira got up and walked over to Andrew and sat on his lap.
“Now baby, I know this must be very embarrassing for you, but don’t be ok” Andrew said.
“Ok dad, Im guessing your saw, the lil-vickie site in the search history?” Kira asked.
“Yes I did” Andrew said softly.
“Right ok and im guessing you know what is on that sight?” Kira asked
“Yes we do love” Kerrie said “and if you want to you can, and we will not love you any less”
“Is that what you want Kira, to be like that girl in the ‘Sakura Stories?’” Andrew asked
“Yes” Kira said bursting into tears.
“Don’t cry Kira, if you want to do that then you can, we love you and will not love you any less if you want to play baby” Andrew said.

A/N: So what do you think, coments apreciated, that is just a very small part of the story, i have pre writen it out and that is only 3 sides of A5 so there is a lot moor to come, and i does get a lot moor interstes

Kira & co.

It’s rather cliche. I’ve seen stories that were similar a hundred times. There were some spelling errors that I noticed. The commentary by you in a couple places was kind of strange and not needed, IMO.

Kira & co.

Well, evident brown nosing aside, there is some nice effort, but it’s not quite carried off. Case in point:

“Sounds good” Kerrie said picking up the phone, and ordering the food. “Be here in about 45 minuets” she said.

Amazing that she can do all that at once.

Kira & co.

Cliche storyline, the child’s age seems a bit young for her to be looking at sites like this (though I could be sorely mistaken), and the spelling/grammar is, like most cliche stories, atrocious. If you’re using notepad to write your stories, I suggest you use a word processing program. And if you don’t have that, Firefox has an automatic spell check.

So the verdict?

No. Just….no. That’s all I can say.

Kira & co.

i think your story could turn into something good……. if you re write it. it seems very cliche. although it seems like an interesting cliche story and id like to read more, although lay off on the brown nosing. i think you need to proof read your story a bit more

Kira & co.

Brown nosing is not a bad thing but that is all this story has going for it.

Kira & co.

I think my problem with this story was how unnatrual the dialog was. So many times I thought “If someone actually talked to me like that, I’d slap them silly.”

You’ve got potential. But you need a better story and you need to take your time crafting it.

Kira & co.

Agreed. Your mind may be tempted to conform to the “same old, same old” storyline, but make an effort to steer clear of doing that.

And yes, the more you write, the better your writing will become. So don’t give up, just rework your story and keep taking stabs at it.

Kira & co.

Well, I believe I was 13 when I started posting on this board (or, rather, an earlier version of it), and I don’t even remember how old I was when I just started looking, so 11 isn’t -that- unrealistic.

Kira & co.

I agree with this. My suggestion is once you’ve written a chapter, read through the dialog, and just the dialog (skip everything else or your mind will sometimes automatically fix problems for you, believe it or not).

With each line, ask yourself the same question. “Is this the way people really talk?”

That should help a great deal.

BabyButt

Kira & co.

Vickie the main reason its brown nosing is because your the site owner. But also its not paying homage to your site. like for instance if he listed off a few sites for realism purposes and then stated that your site was his favorite thats fair enough (all though id still consider it to be on the brown side) but he just makes it blatantly obvious that he is sucking up. If he really wanted to pay homage to your site he would have been a bit more subtle or at least voiced his opinion in the forum instead of in a story, but thats just how i see it
And as regard to if someone used my site, well im not sure this counts. In a story someone said that most infantilists are above the average inteligence level, and even tho you could say that was a complement to me as im a infantilist i still called the guy on it, even tho it is apearantly true i still think its brown nosing.

Kira & co.

It was brown nosing because of the little comments stuck on the side. And it did smell of an obvious appeal to authority. I admit, your site was one of the first decent sites I came across, but I don’t think that that comment belongs in a story. I often think, actually, that though realistic, references in stories to people getting online and following their fetish up there (finding they’re not alone etc.) to be rather artificial, given where I’m reading the story.

As for the sheep/computer thing, I was trying to think of a woolly computer joke. Still not forthcoming.

Kira & co.

Well, I believe I was 13 when I started posting on this board (or, rather, an earlier version of it), and I don’t even remember how old I was when I just started looking, so 11 isn’t -that- unrealistic.[/quote]

With that new sig I didn’t recognise that that post was you - I think it’s the colours, particularly when coupled with the grey avatar.

And I was also somewhere around that age and looking at people like Blood, they must have lurked for a while before posting, meaning they would have been pretty young.

Internet generation etc.

Kira & co.

Not much of a story. Just a bunch of brief dialogue.

You can do better. I have faith in you!

Kira & co.

I know at the moment that there is nothing to the plot but that is only a very tiny bit of the story, as I have hand writen it first, i am transfering it onto the computer, when i have a chance, i have a lot more to add to the story, and an even better plot coing up in the story.
I will work on my grammer and spelling when i post moor of the story, which with any luck will be somtime this weekend, i plan on doing a couple of all nighters on it.

Kira & co.

I know that you mean well, but even the most rudimentary spell checks would have come up with something against ‘moor’ and ‘coing’ (let alone the repetition of story (stylistically dissatisfying) and I etc.

ATTENTION TO DETAIL.

Kira & co.

Moor isn’t just considered a word; it is one! My bad.

Kira & co.

I am currently 14 1/2 and I’ve been looking at this stuff since I was eight and saw cartoons about age regressing and got interested so I would say it’s a good chance; though everything seems rushed. Also the parents acceptance is highly unlikely, my girlfriend knows about how I do this and even she thought it was weird (at first >=3), but parents would usually flip, think of it as porn, and other such things.

Kira & co.

I see your point but some parents are moor understanding than others

(i will let you in on a li’l secret the father in the story is bassed on some one i know, who i know is very understanding of it and so is the kerrie charatcer, both based on to of my best friends who both know of my secret and both accept it.)

Kira & co.

dude its more