Live Alive and Love

Hello, this is my first time posting a story on here. This chapter is just to set the story and give you a little feeling for the narrator. It goes by memories of the narrators so I want to make it memory like so where some of the characters aren’t really fleshed out, but others will get there in time. Please critic at will, and encouragement could help :slight_smile:

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Chaper 1


January 2010

Tap… Tap… Tap… “Stop that tapping immediately, for Christ’s sake!” I looked her in the eye and tapped my pencil some more. A smirk drawn on my face, my eyes just asking for trouble knowing that I’d be sent into the hall. “Young lady, to the principal’s office now!”

Wait… why not the hall? “Principal’s office for tapping a pencil? You might as well expel me!” Mrs. Duvel stared me in the eye with an irritated look. Ugh… I couldn’t explain how much I hate that lady. From her baggy eyes to her black stockings and those nasty buckle shoes that remind me of Pilgrims. Don’t even get me started on the time she had explosive diarrhea and ran into the boys bathrooms. Too bad she’ll never know who caused that, heh heh… Mischief.

She glided to right in front of my desk and took my ear. Seriously?! That only happened on retarded television shows. All I remember is everyone began laughing as she pulled me up and I found myself snickering along with the other kids. She walked me out into the hall and slammed the classroom door. This moment was making no sense since I was an eighth grader in middle school.

In five minutes I found my way to the principal’s office and got a three hour detention after school with Mrs. Duvel. I rather just be expelled and cut all of this shit about me staying in her drowning algebra class. I probably wouldn’t have gotten that bad of a detention if the principal wasn’t Mr. Duvel. Ehh, screw it, she deserves my hate.


June 2010

I don’t and never will understand why but I always get into situations where all I want is trouble. It might be that I live with 8 kids in a family and I’m the second oldest or the fact that I’m adopted. Why would you adopt 8 kids and neglect the oldest ones? Did I mention that I’m the only adopted orphan in the whole lot? I’d rather be in a fucking orphanage instead of an eight part family. I’m just an alien and that’s all I’ll be to them. They can tell me that I’m not and reassure me but it’s all just talk, they’ve never shown their love for me. Never.

That’s all just sappy shit though.

I sat on a bench in the park and watched as a little puppy came running towards me. I looked behind him and saw absolutely no one chasing him. He had no collar or anything. I began petting him and playing with him and the little cute thing just followed me around. I fed him a piece of bread and he never left my side after that day. It was a boy as I thought, with huge brown eyes and white fur. A lady I walked by said his breed was called a “Teddy Bear” which was only supposed to get to 12-20 pounds. I loved him since the first time his eyes begged for food and licked me until I couldn’t stop laughing.

“No way, you can’t keep that dog. We have babies here.” Kristy said as she hugged my little sister Lillian in her arms.

Kristy was my adopted mom. I called her mom a year ago, but then I got a mind and said that she wasn’t. She didn’t care for me; she never did, so why should I call her my mom who only nurtured me until I turned 3 then stopped. That’s not even an exaggeration either.

I began crying, I wasn’t an emotional person but I loved that pup, how can you leave something so needy? I stuttered, “But- But Kr-”

“No, there’s eight children here and you know you can’t take care of it. You didn’t even name it yet.”

I began thinking of a name right on spot, “Yea I did, his name’s Teddy!”

“Honey… No we’ll never keep him, we can’t. We don’t have the money and you couldn’t take care of him, especially with your-”

That’s what set me on edge, I grinded my teeth and breathed in some air, cutting her off, " Especially what? That I’m different? That I have issues? Well guess what?! I fucking hate you!"

I picked up Teddy and ran downstairs to my so called room that was just a basement with mats. I put Teddy on the mat, went into my clothes and picked out a bunch of clothes, my money I saved up through the years, and a blanket and stuffed them into my old schoolbag. I could hear my sisters talking about me and my mom crying. I slung the back pack over my shoulder, grabbed the puppy and began walking upstairs when Jessica, my younger bitch of a sister, started yelling at me.

“You’re such a joke! You’re not even part of the family yet you treat everyone like shit! Thank god you’re leaving!”

I had tears streaming down my face as I ran out of the house with my puppy licking my face as I ran. I don’t remember where I ran, I just ran until my feet got tired and my puppy had to go pee. I remember stopping at a park in some town outside of my own. I slept on a bench with my puppy on my lap. Unfortunately, I woke up with him licking me to death again.

I slowly got up and found that he was hungry along with me. At least I brought money with me. We went to a gas station and I had to tie Teddy to a tree as I got some food. I got us some beef jerky and man does he love that stuff.

July 2010

I never went back to there for two reasons: 1) I was neglected 2) Teddy couldn’t stay and I loved Teddy.

I probably never will go back to that horrible place. The only problem is I have almost no money that I got from little jobs the summer before. If anything I’ll starve and Teddy will get the food. I love that puppy like my child and he’ll always come first.

I think there were ads up for me. All I know is if I go back I’m going to the juvenile detention center or the loony bin. Teddy would be taken away and I would do suicide. He’s my best friend, and he’s the only reason I haven’t done suicide yet. Heck ya I’ve thought about it this past month but my puppy would die without me. I wasn’t giving him up to some crazy person who wouldn’t know that he loves beef jerky and belly rubs.

I’ve decided after awhile that I’d have to get a job somewhere, but I never did…

A week in July I found myself sleeping on a bench in a back yard that I thought no one was home in and found cops come to there.

August 2010

They took me away from my puppy…

I don’t like this place. There’s a cell and my roommate scares me.

I want to die… I want to commit suicide.

Please give me my puppy back… Please.

When Kristy came here alone to visit me I told her I hated her again and screamed at her. She asked if I didn’t want her as my mom I told her she wasn’t anyway. She filed some papers and now I’m a free orphan. No not free, after this I go to an orphanage.

October 2010

The food tasted like shit at here, like pure shit. I really miss my puppy, but I’m done cutting myself from it. It’s sad how you can get away with that stuff at here, especially here. I don’t mean too, really. There’s just nothing hard or strong enough to kill myself with.

It’s obvious I don’t belong here. Well not juvenile detention but on the earth. My birth mom left me for a reason, I’m just a born sheep to be prepped to kill. I wasn’t meant for life.


January 2011

I was caught with my cutting, which equals more time or some shit like that. They said someone “special” is going to come in and talk with me about it.

I was supposed to leave in October but since I was so different and had a loud mouth I had to stay longer.

They brought a therapist here. I just stared at the ceiling as he tried talking to me. He was saying shit about a special program for depressed teens. It was different than the rest and was proved to help them and if I was willing to I could go there instead of being here. He kept giving me benefits of it all and I just kept staring at the gross ceiling.

He snapped in my face and I finally looked at him, “Any questions about the program?”

“Can I get my puppy back if I do it?”

“Your puppy?”

“They took my puppy away, the only thing I ever loved.” I began crying softly, trying to hide my face. I know it was so long ago but he’s the only reason I’m alive. I love nothing else and nothing else loves me.

“Well that was a few months ago, there’d be no way to find your puppy, I’m sorry.”

He came over to me and began hugging me until I yelled, “DON’T TOUCH ME!” He backed away and looked at the security guard with huge eyes.

They took me to my cell room again and I hid under the covers and cried. The therapist said he’d come back later tonight so Id be more calm later. I just hid under the covers.


Dr. Sherman said, "It will be government paid since it’s a new program. It’s new and the programs been great with new teens. Only a handful have been cured from depression from medicine but this technique will get you off your medication the first week. "

I said, “I don’t have depression, and I don’t take medication.”

His assistant or what I assumed was his assistant cleared his throat, “Then, may I ask? What are those scratches and scars on your wrist for?”

I wrapped my arms around my body like I was cold and stared away. Dr. Sherman was one of those nice older men that I knew were out for pure heart, but his assistance had those piercing blue eyes with short dirty blonde hair trying to look inside me. He looked young but only about twenty-five to maybe thirty at oldest. He looked like he was trying to figure me out but I don’t know. It was an awkward moment.

Dr. Sherman and his assistant kept whispering as I was thinking. He broke the silence and said, “Well would you want to do the program?”

I looked up at him like he was speaking another language and said harshly, “You never explained what the program is yet, you just keep reciting the benefits…”

His assistant said, "I don’t think you know who I asked yet, but I am the co-founder of the program, Chad Williams. " He gave a little smile and reached out to shake my hand, I just stared at it. He slowly took it down awkwardly, and gave me a disappointed look. I stared him up and down for a second then looked away again.

Chad sure had some muscles. It might have been just that he had a black muscle shirt on and that he was really tall. I was a little intimidated by him. Dr. Sherman looked like a twig compared to Chad. Sherman was another story, he was skinny, down to the bone, and reeked with geek. Chad seemed like one of those surfer dudes. I still can’t believe that he runs this program.

“Hello?” Dr. Sherman was saying a bunch of crap while I spaced out.

Chad said, “Do you have any questions about the program?”

I said quietly, “Maybe a few…”

“Go ahead.” Chad waved finger.

“Uhm… What do we do there?”

“We do go on trips occasionally, to the beach, zoo and other places. We wont just be in one sitting all the time. And since this is a program just starting since a few months ago we only have a few teens on board so we can go more places altogether. Any other questions?” He gave me a warm smile that comforted me a little and settled some ease.

" Uhh, yea… How long does this…uh, program last?"

Chad and Dr. Sherman gave each other a look and Dr. Sherman said, “Well there was only a few people cured in this type of therapy in other parts of the United States, but since this is a new program you’ll be part of the new data.”

Chad concluded the statement, “Probably about a few months to a year.”

I stared at them thinking this idea was crazy and I knew I wouldn’t do it for the time it takes.

They looked at each other and back at me. They whispered a little back and forth and I just stared out the window. I was going to say no no matter what they said and I think they knew it too.

They stopped whispering after I heard someone whisper, “That’d be impossible!” And I’m pretty sure Chad said, “Well, it’s our only shot for her to agree. I’ll do it; it won’t have to be your business.”

Dr. Sherman shook his head like something was out there and Chad began talking to me again with a very serious face, “Would you want to be in the program?”

I shook my head and said, “Not at all.”

Chad looked disappointed and said, “Well what if I told you-” Dr. Sherman began wrestling out papers and put them infront of me, “that we try to find your puppy you were talking about earlier if you said yes and signed your name right there?”

I know it couldn’t be true, “Promise?”

Chad nodded his head and gave a warm smile, “Promise.”

I nodded my head and the first smile in 5 months floated on my lips.

I signed my name anxiously making my hand writing like a little kid’s,

[font=Bobcat] Jasper Cord

Re: Live Alive and Love

Overall it’s an interesting start, so good for you on that front. I noticed a few grammatical errors like “do suicide” and a few others, but those weren’t anything that made your story unreadable. You seem to have a good grasp on what you’re writing and of the English language, so I’d say you’re all set to keep going.

I’ll continue reading until you give me reason not to. :slight_smile:

Oh, also welcome to the forum and congrats on posting your first story! :smiley:

Knight

Re: Live Alive and Love

great story so far. very interesting. please continue.

Re: Live Alive and Love

Thanks BabySiri and Dementia’s Knight! Well here’s chapter 2, please tell me if you like it and critic as much as you’d like :slight_smile:

Chapter 2

What’s the point of life if you have nothing to live for? Without someone else to live for you? When there’s no hope in your future? When you don’t even know anyone around you? When feeling sad and angry is the only emotion you’ll ever get out of yourself? So let me repeat the main question; What’s the point of life if you have nothing to live for?

I stared out the black suburban’s window thinking about all this on the way to whoever knows where. I just wanted to call someplace home and go there. Of course I can’t since I signed that damned form stating I was this organizations child and they could take care of me until I was treated.

“Jasper? Are you alright?” Chad looked into the rearview mirror with a concerned look for me. I looked at him and then at the guy to the right of Chad. The guy’s name was Darren Hearse, but he told me to just call him Darren or Darry. I’m just calling him Darren.

Chad and him were weirdly similar in so many ways. The way Darren looks as young as Chad yet they’re still the same age. They both are therapists but have another job with the program to help troubled teens. Both have muscles and are almost the same height but I think Darren’s a little shorter. Darren has brown eyes unlike Chad’s piercing blue ones. Along with the fact that Darren has a little bit of longer dark brown hair that I’m guessing he put into a Mohawk when he’s not being professional. I guess Darren’s the other co-founder of the program that still no one explained to me. I think I like Darren’s company better than Chad’s. Being with Chad makes me feel awkward at times but comforting at others.

The weirdest thing is that they both look at me the same way. They have this glisten in their eyes when they look at me, like they want to help me. It’s not the same look I get from guards at the juvenile detention center, it’s deeper and in thought like they have everything planned out they just haven’t told me yet. I don’t think I really want to know what they planned.

Again Chad was talking to me in a serious voice, but all I heard was the last part, “I know it’s going to be a little uncomfortable there at first, but you’ll get used to it. Is there something wrong?” I was just staring at my stupid old converse that I drew on a year back. I didn’t want to look up at Chad or Darren so I just kept looking down.

Darren finally spoke up, “Jasper, what’s wrong?” I cried a little on the one hour drive so far and I knew my eyes were still red. I looked at Darren with my big green eyes anyway. He looked concerned and sighed, “Have you been crying little one?” Little one? I know I’m only 5’2 for a fifteen year old but it’s normal. Why did Darren have to call me little?

I watched, a little angrily, out the window as cars passed us on the highway. It was quiet and I didn’t feel like talking but Darren and Chad sure did. They kept asking if I was alright and what was wrong, and I hate being dramatic in front of people so I just stared out.

“You don’t like talking much do you?” Chad said still looking back and forth from me in the rear view mirror and the highway. I shook my head a little and sighed.

Chad turned up the radios volume a little and they began talking to each other like I wasn’t there. I listened to them even though I could care less.

“So have you decided on who’s going to be her caretaker?” Darren said in a lowered voice like I couldn’t hear.

“I was thinking maybe me and you since Toby and Michael are taking care of Lynn and Clair. Would you be alright with that?”

“Ya, it’s no problem, I’d love to help.” Darren smiled and glanced back at me.

Take care of me? What would they be taking care of? I can eat and sleep and do everything else on my own. I don’t need anyone bothering me.

Darren began changing the radio station to a pop one. Only if they knew I hated pop.

“Do you like this station Jasper?”

I just stared out the window like I couldn’t hear him.

I sat there silently for about fifteen minutes more until they turned down the radio and Chad asked, “Are you thirsty or something? We still have about one more hour to go.”

I nodded my head, I was kind of thirsty when I thought about it.

Darrer offered, “We can probably stop somewhere and open the cooler in the back. What do you want? We have water, juice, and maybe some milk.”

“Do you have any pop?” I finally spoke up the first time from meeting Darren.

Chad said, “No, we don’t want you staying up all night.” The first time he said anything to me with a dissatisfying tone.

Why would I stay up all night in the first place? It’s not like I’m going to sleep at eight or anything, unless that’s night time to them.

“So do you want some juice instead of pop?” Darren said like I was a little kid. What is with these guys anyway? It was annoying that they’re offering me crap like a little kid.

I sighed, “Sure.”

They pulled over at one of those restroom stops on the side of the highway and got me some juice. Darren sat in the back with me this time and stabbed the Capri Sun straw through and handed me it. I felt a blush creep up on my face as I drank the juice and stared out the window again. Darren grinned at me as I drank. They both just had waters so I felt out of it.

After what felt like forever awkwardness, we arrived at this huge two story house. It had white brick on the garage that we pulled into and the rest of the house was just a light grey without brick. It looked new and updated.

It was way different than I was expecting. I was expecting another jail like place that had no warming feel and was the exact opposite of a house. I think I might have liked this place secretly.

Chad opened the door of my side and said, “Welcome to your new home.” He smiled warmly again, taking my hand and helping me out of the suburban even though I didn’t need any help. He took the empty Capri Sun in my hand and threw it away in small garbage by the door in the garage leading inside the house.Chad kept holding my hand as he lead me into the house.

Inside the home was a totally different story. It was inviting and comfortable. It was overly clean and I’d guess there wasn’t one spec of dirt in the whole place. Chad opened the door and let go of my hand as I stepped inside of the kitchen. I walked in and just stood there. It looked like a normal well crafted kitchen with black granite tops and an island in the middle. Then behind the kitchen was the living room and to the left was the dining room. Every room had mahogany floors besides the living room that had a white carpet.

The place looked so… well, home like. It didn’t look anything like a place I should be. I’ve never been in some place so nice and warm.

Don’t even get me started on the smell of this place. It had candles in almost every room. The candles smelled like cotton but better. I can’t even explain it.

Chad and Darren were just showing me around the first floor, smiling and silently laughing at my reactions.

Darren said, “You like this place better than I’d thought. If you like the downstairs, just wait until you see the upstairs.” He laughed because I widened my eyes not believing that the upstairs could be nicer than the downstairs.

I looked at the living room with the soft grey couches and the widescreen television. Chad had to take my hand to lead me upstairs since I was into the living room. Darren left and said he was going to start cooking dinner.

Upstairs was padded with the same white carpet in the living room. There were more than 5 bedrooms and about 2 bathrooms in the whole upstairs. All the bedrooms were shut besides one that I was lead into. It had a bed to the right with one of those purple fuzzy blankets. To the left it had a desk with crayons and some paper and a dresser. The room was pretty big and had a nice window that let a lot of light into the room. The room had light purple on the walls. I looked and around some more to find a chest with who knows what in it.

Chad spoke up after my eyes traveled over everything in the bedroom, “This is your room. Do you like it?” My mouth was open and I nodded my head slightly in surprise.

I never had a room of my own before. I was always with about two to five girls and never had something so nice. It was beautiful, and if this Is where I was staying for a few months to a year then it’s two hundred percent better than an orphanage I would’ve gone to.

I didn’t know what to say so I just began crying. Chad hugged me and I didn’t push him away, “Whats wrong? Why are you sad?”

I sniffled trying to calm myself, “Be-Because, I ne-ever had a room to-to… myself!” I wailed into his chest as he hugged me more.

“Shhh, every things going to be alright, sweetheart.” Chad cooed into my ear, slowly stroking my wavy dark brown hair. Yet, I felt comfortable in his arms for some strange reason and it helped me calm down. I finally calmed down and pulled away from him and wiped my eyes.

Chad began talking again, “It’s very nice here but we do have a lot of rules to follow for the program that your in and…” He trailed off, I looked at him a bit worried on what he meant, “You might not like some things you have to wear or do but it’ll make you happier, you understand?”

I shook my head and said, “Huh?”

Chad went over to the bed and patted it asking me to sit down. I did and he moved by the dresser opening the top shelf and rummaging around it pulling out some items.

“You see… One part of your program is you have wear a certain garment the whole time through. Now I know you won’t like it but I’m going to have to change you into this.” He pulled out something white with little kids prints. I stared at it until I realized it was a… diaper?

Re: Live Alive and Love

My comments from the first chapter mostly apply to this one. The few errors that you have don’t deter me from enjoying the story you’re telling. I’m curious to see where you go in the next chapter. Good job. :slight_smile:

Knight

Re: Live Alive and Love

the flow was very good. i agree about the errors.story still great. plus are we going to see the puppy again?

Re: Live Alive and Love

Good stuff.

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Re: Live Alive and Love

I believe that they promised she’d see her puppy. They could have been lying, but my bet is on not. I’m looking forward to seeing how you throw the puppy into the situation, for there are many waya you could do it, Heartz.

I’m enjoying this story. As for the errors, there aren’t to many as noticeable as the last chapter with the whole suicide bit. Keep writing.

-GenerallySpecific

1 Like

Re: Live Alive and Love

I’m loving this story so far and I’m excited to read more soon!!

Re: Live Alive and Love

Great start to this story and can’t wait to read more.

Re: Live Alive and Love

good story so far.

1 thing though isnt jasper a boys name?

Re: Live Alive and Love

I was thinking the same thing. It is possible her parents expected a boy, or the name is unisex, but I’ve seen it most commonly given to boys.

-GenerallySpecific

Re: Live Alive and Love

I’m used to reading completed stories but the idea that your story could go in any number of directions is keeping me on the edge of my seat. Excellent work! Can’t wait to read more!

Re: Live Alive and Love

To be totally honest… I wasn’t expecting this much feed back, lol. Thanks for the comments! Im going to try to write some more and maybe post later on today.

It’s a unisex name. I think everyone just got used to it being a guys name since Twilight became popular. Its one of those names that aren’t heard a lot so you can’t really say its a specific guys or girls name yet.

Its nice to know Im keeping people on the edge of their seats! I don’t even know where the story’s going,to be totally honest, but I try to think of the most out there idea and go with it… Now you know my secrets. Shh… don’t tell :slight_smile:

Re: Live Alive and Love

Thank you for clarifying, I really want to see where you go with this (I’d advise writing out a plan of how you want your story to go before you continue).

-GenerallySpecific :wink:

1 Like

Re: Live Alive and Love

I am intrigued. ;D

Re: Live Alive and Love

This, emphatically, from someone who has been there. When you have a plan, the words come out effortlessly, because you know where it’s going.

When you don’t have a plan, you find yourself painted into a corner, and you’re screwed.

Re: Live Alive and Love

Seconded…or thirded I guess. :stuck_out_tongue: My body of work is littered with unfinished projects that died for that very reason. I still haven’t learned that lesson though, but I’m reckless like that.

Don’t be like me, finish your stories. Especially when they are good ones or have the potential to be good ones, like this one. :slight_smile:

Re: Live Alive and Love

Reading all the comments about the planning, lol sorry. I don’t think I really clarified it yet totally. I do plan the general way this all will end BUT I do not plan every single chapter. I do add little new things along the way. Im not one to plan everything for the reason that I get too bored with an idea if I plan it for however long then I rush the story until the amazing twist I plan. I don’t want to ruin the story so I don’t plan my twists.

Anyway, I hope you’re comfortable with this chapter because the next one you’ll find the characters aren’t who you thought they were. Oops too much info… :o

And don’t worry, I’ll never forget about the puppy. After all it is based off of my actual puppy :slight_smile:

Chapter 3

I didn’t really know how to respond to something like that, so I just stood up and stared at him. After a few seconds I realized I felt like I was in the middle of a glare and a frightened look. Chad just gave another concerned look and walked over to me. I don’t know what it was or what was wrong with me but I was frozen on what he said. I know it was a diaper and stuff… But still, me wearing that? Heck no. When he moved towards me with the diaper in his hand I backed away like a scared beast from its master. That’s when I noticed his face changed. His faced turned a little on the angry side and it just scared me more.

“Jasper… Please just sit on the bed and this can go smoothly if you just cooperate with me. Come on, baby.” He said baby with a crooked smile and I was still frozen. I guess I gave off that don’t touch me vibe, but that’s what I was thinking, so why not show it?

I just gazed off for a few seconds in the direction of the door and that’s when I thought of a branch breaking. Snap. In one motion Chad took a fast step across the room and took my arm firmly. He gave me one of those disappointed but annoyed looks and half carried me one more little step to the bed. I was frightened because I never knew it was possible for him to get this mad.

You know when you have one of those spontaneous ideas that might work or fail horribly? Well I got the worst idea ever and went with it. After I sat on the bed Chad let go of my arm and went back to the dresser to get other supplies, once he turned his back on me I tripped a little and began running out into the hallway. I don’t know why, but whenever I have some emotion, besides happiness, like being depressed or angry I usually run, and this was one of those times.

It took a second for Chad to realize what I was doing, but he got an idea once he watched me fly down the stairs.

He began running after me down the stairs, annoyance played on his face, “Jasper, stop running now! Do you want a spanking missy?!” A spanking? Missy? Whaaaat? I ran into the kitchen and went against the wall to the right. I began smelling sauce and bread being cooked and my eyes trailed to the source of it. I saw Darren staring at me with the same angry half annoyed look Chad had. Darren had his arms folded like he was angry but confused. Chad soon ran in between the few seconds I was taking this all in.

Chad was pissed off, I thought before was bad but that was an understatement. He took my arm with more force than before and lead… no, dragged me to the living room. He sat down and pulled me over his lap. The whole time I was struggling and whining about it all. I don’t know how, but he pulled my sweats off and took off my underwear leaving me butt naked.

I didn’t know what was happening until I felt the brutal slap on my ass. Damn is Chad serious when he says he’s going to do something. He kept smacking down every time and didn’t stop until I went limp, began crying, and was trying to ball on his lap. It was the first time I’ve ever been spanked, which is hard to believe, I know. Kristy thought physical punishment didn’t teach kids right so she never spanked us but Chad was obviously thinking the exact opposite way.

After what felt like a half hour(only 10 minutes) he stood me up and had a disappointed look on his face, “You realize I don’t want to do this as much as you, but I do it for your own future. When I tell you to do something you do it, do you understand me?” I wiped my eyes and nodded my head. I was so confused, a second ago Chad was yelling at me and now he’s calm? Is this guy bipolar?

“What do you have to say for yourself missy?” You have to understand that I was standing there, half naked, balling my eyes out, confused at everything that was happening, now how could I think of what to say to this question? It made no sense.

“Hmmm?” He stood up and crossed his arms. I looked up into his eyes searching for an answer. I wasn’t trying to be stubborn at all; I was just so embarrassed I didn’t know what to say. He stared down at me with those glistening eyes that spelled out disappointment.

I looked down and tried pulling my shirt down so it covered my front female parts. Chad kneeled down and took my hands firmly and said sternly, "Jasper, I’m not in the mood to play games. " I looked into his eyes to show how confused I was and he just looked at the carpet and then back at me.

“You’re not sorry for what you did?” So that’s what I had to say? That’s it? I didn’t know…

I said fast, “I’m sor-ry.” My voice cracked from crying.

Chad chuckled a little and looked at me, “You better mean it, missy. Here, let’s get you changed into something more appropriate.” He smiled and took my hand, leading me upstairs to my new room. I lay down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. I went into this “I’m too embarrassed to talk” mode where I felt like a little kid so I just couldn’t really do anything, so I stared at the ceiling.

I jumped when I felt a cold wipe touch my bottom. Chad was cleaning my whole bottom area and didn’t seem to care about my reaction.

"You peed while I was spanking you. Almost done baby. "Chad smiled as a tear went down my cheek.

Chad threw the wipes into a garbage by my bed that I didn’t notice until now. He grabbed my ankles up and slid a diaper with Elmo prints under me. Then he took some powder and gently rubbed it in which made me squirm a little. I tried to hide my small giggle which I think he caught.

Chad taped the diaper up and looked at his work, running his fingers along the sides making me squirm, “All done, isn’t that better baby?” I glanced at him then I looked at the ceiling again.

“I think you’re a little cutie in diapers.” He gave a comforting smile and I just blushed, staring at the ceiling with was an uncomfortable place to look if you’re head was locked on it. Chad just chuckled lightly and took my hands that were tapping on the bed awkwardly. He sat on the bed and pulled me onto his lap. I just looked at the dresser across from the room; I really didn’t want to make eye contact with him.

Chad brought my head to his chest and hugged me close and kept saying, “It’s alright baby, you’re gonna be okay. It’ll all get better.” He was cooing me… Why?

Then I remembered something he promised about this whole situation: the only reason why I was here.

“Chad… What about my puppy?” I put my hand on his chest and pushed away. He locked eyes with me. I didn’t care if my eyes were puffy or the fact about me wearing a diaper in front of a guy I just met. I searched for the lies in his eyes. No lies I could see but blank spots in his mind.

Chad blinked, “I said might find your puppy, you understand? It might be impossible to find your dog since you’ve been away from him for more than 1 month. Your puppy may be in a happy home right now that could be more safe there than here. He could be in another state or even another country. You’re dog might be dead for all we know. There are so many dogs that look like him in any area. We may never find him honey.” He gave a sympathetic look. I looked away slowly.

Then why am I here? Why should I live? Why should I stay here? Why can’t he try and find my dog? Why the shit is my life such a lie? It’s fucked up and it’s not even my fault. I was born into it. Why couldn’t I have been adopted to a happy family? Enough questions, I’m done trying to answer the unknown. I’m done crying. I’m just done.

Re: Live Alive and Love

I’m gonna say something to you Heartz, and initially it may sound bad, but bear with me.

This story seems to be walking a very thin line right now. On one side of the line is a generic diaper story, a story that has been told by hundreds of writers and doesn’t pop with originality. On the other side of the line is a story that has an intriguing plot and has potential to be something great.

Your story walks that line and teeters on both sides of it as it goes, like a tightrope walker on a windy day. I want to really like everything about this story, but I only really like it when it’s on that second side and the rest of the time I find myself wondering if something cliche and average is coming.

I think you have great talent, and I see glimmers of it every once in a while, but I want to see more of it. For a first attempt it is quite good, but you do show the ability to do better. I hope that this isn’t viewed as me “ripping on you”, and if you feel I’m wrong then by all means tell me so. I just thought I’d try and help. :slight_smile: I look forward to the next chapter.

Knight