my diaper story so far

when did it start? why did it start? I honestly am not sure. i know bits and pieces. i don’t think anything happened before sixth grade. i know that i was wearing towels as diapers while i had my paper rt. and that stopped in 6th grade. i only know that i have always wanted to be in diapers for some part of my day. early on it was just at night. i wanted to be in diapers at night. sometime in 7th grade i started to buy diapers. i would put three of them together to make one that fit me. i remember feeling wonderful and when i was alone i would diaper myself. i even tried peeing in them but they always leaked. i was content to do this till i turned 23. it was then that i learned about adult diapers. i still remember driving a cross town to by a box. that first night was wonderful. i was home. once i found diapers that fit me i was hooked. i did not just want to wear a bit. i wanted to be in them all the time. something inside me really wanted to be in diapers. but as to what was the reason i am still at a lost. i still do not know. i only know that wearing diapers makes me feel more real than when i am not. the next thing i remember was the taking of risks. i started to wear out in public. just a little at first. but my need to be in diapers was ingrained in me. deep down the feeling of being in a diaper is a calming one. at 24 i made the choice to be in diapers for the rest of my life. i was gonna find away. my fantasies turned into dreams about wearing diapers an everything being OK. while i was wishing to be in diapers i did not understand why i wanted.
the next major step for me was meeting my wife. Vicki was told of my diaper need and she seemed OK with it. i had found someone who would let me wear diapers. i still wanted to wear diapers full time yet did not have the guts.
as part of my research on this need i would learn of an orginization called DPF. it was a major break threw. i finally learned the name for my need. i was an infantilist or adult baby. i read threw everything i can get my hand on. i also was introduced to a whole world of stuff. there were even stories to feed my imagination. i started to enjoy the stories. in particular ones were the main charector is returned to diapers. it became what i wanted. to be returned to diapers. it still is to this day. the next major event was meeting Mary Beth. Here was a woman willing to full fill my need, with my wife’s permission. Mary Beth put me in diapers. she seemed willing to help me and i miss her help to this day. sadly i let things go to far otherwise. the funny thing is i do not miss Mary Beth i do miss being put in diapers. Two and half years ago was the last major step for me. i was in therpy and made the choice to be in diapers full time. i finally did it. At the age of 37 i was finally wearing diapers the way i wanted. i wore them out in public and in the privacy of my home.
I was never happier than that year. It stopped because Vicki was not happy. She was so unhappy she let me know that If I did not give up wearing them full time she would leave me. It was OK for me to wear at night but that was it. So I did. I still wished to be in diapers full time but to save my marriage i gave it up.It was one of the hardest things I ever did. And i wrote just at night for over a year. This still bothered Vicki and one night she made it clear. it was either diapers or her. I can not give up my marriage for anything. So reluctantly I gave up wearing diapers. Its been six months since that night and I am doing OK. I still miss being in diapers and hope that one day i will be in them again.Still that is not my life at the moment. Some days its an easy thing to deal with, other days its like pulling teeth just to keep moving. So There you have it. That is my diaper story: so Far.