I’m gonna archive some of my favorite stories by other authors. If I am not allowed to post these stories, then you are welcomed to remove them.
If you ever want to choke on reality… try being the teen in-between your parents divorce; the messier the better. I don’t think there is anything quite as painful as getting sold out by people you love.
“Madison’s unhappy because you’re gone all the time!”
“Oh right! And it has nothing to do with your drinking? You could drink irish dock workers under the table!”
“What about the money? We’re destitute, I don’t even know how I’ll afford groceries next week.”
“You could try opening your legs? You certainly don’t for me.”
“How about you get a job dead beat. Do you think Madison is going to pay for college with hopes and dreams?”
I’ve always said a little prayer every night that I wouldn’t be woken by the sound of their fighting… or at the very least that they wouldn’t use my name when they did. I don’t think god listens to me any more since I stopped going to church.
The divorce took about a year, with the fighting intensifying in the last month. The final kicker was that both of them decided they wanted to start anew, without a significant other… or child. They used my name in vain for plenty of violent arguments, but when the dust settled… it turned out I was an inconvenience.
The judge awarded the house to mom, and in just about every circumstance, custody of the child goes to mom too, but what happens when mom and dad just aren’t interested in anything but themselves? … the answer is that you find out just how selfish people can be.
It was two days after the final divorce proceedings that my mom told me I was going to be living with my older cousin. Mom wanted her own life, and my cousin had offered on my behalf to let me live with her. I had nothing going, and no reason to stay with my mom any more, so I agreed, not understanding just what I was getting into.
My cousin Sherry was sort of the black sheep of the family, well, next to me, my mom and dad of course. She was artsy, whimsical, and sin of sins; unmarried at 26. My poor family has the long distinguished past of early pregnancies and marriage soon after. If a girl wasn’t pregnant at 19 by the latest, and unhappily married by 20, something was wrong. So the rest of the family just referred to her as a spinster. I’m 16, and I already hear plenty about the virtues of finding a virile man.
After things were decided between my cousin and my mom, I dropped off at a bus station with a vague description of how I’d be reaching my cousin. Sherry lived ten hours away… wayyyy out in the country. I had some clothes stuffed into a bag and a little money, but not much else. There were some tearful good byes to my friends, but to be honest, I didn’t really have many. Having a broken family tends to cause you to alienate yourself in the hopes you don’t ruin anyone else’s life with your own. I guess like mom and dad, I’d get to start anew… out in the country. Sherry and I naturally gravitated toward each other in family functions and I always liked hearing her crazy stories about the shenanigans she got into with boys.
As I got on the bus, I was actually looking forward to living with someone who at least had a passing interest in my life. When I arrived, I took my bag and got out into the night. It was summer, school had been out a few weeks, but it was still a little chilly. I probably looked out of place as I got off the bus wearing jeans and a dark blue hoodie in the middle of nowhere.
I looked around to see my cousin waving from a pick-up. I shouldered my bag and waved back.
“It’s good to see you,” Sherry said as she stepped out of her truck and walked toward me. We looked completely different, me in my urban wear, her in tight jeans, a shirt showing off her midriff, and a cowboy hat. “Long trip out here huh?”
I shrugged. “It wasn’t too bad.”
“Do you have all your bags?”
I had just one bag, a nike sports bag with whatever clothes I cared the most about packed inside like dirty laundry.
“Just the one,” I said.
Shelly looked at me curiously for a moment but then smiled and slapped the bed of her truck. “Toss it in, let’s head home.”
I threw my bag in the back and got up in the cab with Shelly. “It’ll only be about an hour before we reach the farm,” she said moving a clunky shift into gear. “Winchester was the closest bus station.”
“Thanks for letting me come to live with you.”
Sherry laughed. “Don’t worry about it, you’ll actually be doing me a favor.”
I looked at her a little confused. “What do you mean?”
“Well…… I sort of have this boyfriend.”
“Yah well, it’s kind of weird, I haven’t actually met him in person yet, and he’ll be coming by to visit soon.”
Now I was a little more confused. “Umm… will I be intruding?”
“No no, its not that, I’m just going to need your help is all.”
“What kind of help?” I raised a suspicious eyebrow. Sherry had a reputation. I’d never really had a boyfriend. I couldn’t see any way that I’d be helpful.
“I sort of told Will a few stories that weren’t really true… but with you, we could make them true.”
“I’m going to regret living with you aren’t I?”
“Probably… now here’s the thing. Will is super cute, owns his own business, already married but widowed a few years ago… car accident… and has a daughter.”
“Kay….” I said trying to process the rapid fire information.
“I’m a farm owner, which is true enough, and even though I don’t have any livestock, I spend most of my time looking after my special needs little sister, who coincidently has the exact same problem as his daughter.”
I slapped my forehead. “Don’t tell me.”
“I even used your name since the get go. So you’re my new sister Madison… with um… special needs. You got in a car accident two years back and became completely incontinent. Will’s daughter was in a car wreck with his wife three years ago. His wife didn’t survive, and Will’s daughter lost her left leg and suffers incontinence from it.”
“Stop the car.”
Sherry laughed. “What? I still haven’t finished.”
“STOP THE F***ING CAR!”
Sherry looked at me shocked, but pulled over and slowed the car to a stop.
“Umm… you okay?” She asked taking her hands off the wheel.
I didn’t answer I just got out of the car, got my bag and started walking. I hadn’t seen my cousin in a year or two, but in that time I had apparently forgotten her family name was well deserved and she was a total flake.
“Madison?” she called, getting out of the truck. “Madison where are you going?”
“You’re retarded if you think I’m going to join in whatever scheme this is. What the hell is wrong with you?”
“But you always liked my stories, I thought you’d jump at the chance to be part of one.”
I stopped walking and threw my bag down. “You want me to pretend to be a cripple for a guy!”
“No… I want you to pretend to be incontinent for a father and his daughter. Incontinence isn’t crippled, but umm I think it does count as a handicap, I’m not really sure.”
“What the hell is incontinence anyway? Is that where I can’t talk and have to wave my arms to speak?”
“Noo… I think that’s mute. Incontinence means you wear diapers and pee yourself.”
I started walking again. Why did my life have to suck this much? My mom and dad didn’t want me, my cousin only wanted me so she could use me for something completely off the wall.
“Madison… Please, I really need your help. Where are you going to go?”
I clenched a fist and flung my bag at her. “Sherry. My parents just divorced and left me. I don’t know where the hell I’m going to go. I had HOPED I could come live with you and try to piece together my life again, but either you’re playing the meanest joke on me that I can think of or you’re so batshit insane that you’ve completely lost touch with reality.”
“$2000 if you do it for one week.”
“$2500,” she offered.
“I’m serious. Please?” She took off her cowboy hat and held it in both her hands. “You don’t understand. Just hear me out, you have to know this guy, read the chat logs I’ve had with him… whatever… he has a golden heart and I’ve never been this in love before. It’s only for a week.”
I felt pretty stupid standing on a country road in the middle of the night having this ridiculous conversation with my cousin. “It’s not my problem that you lied to him.”
“I’ll give you $5000 and I’ll drive you to wherever you want after the week is done.”
I clenched both my fists, swore, thought over my options, and stomped toward her. “I don’t like this, and if this turns out to be a joke, I’ll dedicate the rest of my life to destroying yours.”
I grabbed my bag, threw it in the bed of her truck and got back in the cab. Sherry put her hat back on and started driving. We both sat in silence for a while.
“Will is coming to visit with his daughter on Monday. Her name is Anna.”
I put my iPod earphones in and put my hoodie up. Sherry took the hint and kept driving. It was Saturday night, if she was to be believed, her mystery boyfriend would be here the day after tomorrow. …I wasn’t happy.
Eventually we reached Sherry’s place. She lived on a farm she had inherited from Grandma. Our family used to be big in farms a few generations ago, but somehow that’d changed. My mom wasn’t really one to sit me down and talk about our family history, so all I knew was that Sherry had a couple acres and a two story house all to herself.
She pulled the truck up and we got out. I was partially impressed because it was a very classic farm house kind of look, complete with wrap around front porch. Sherry let us in and quickly guided us up the stairs where she showed me to my room.
“I’ve already taken the liberty of setting it up just the way my ‘sister’ would have it.”
I didn’t like the way she said sister. “Do I want to know what that means?”
Sherry shrugged dumbly. “Check your closet if you’re curious. I’m heading to bed, it’s late.” And she left me standing with my bag and a curious angry look on my face. What the hell was I getting into? Did she even have $5000?
I dropped my bag and went to the closet. If anything she had my curiosity. I opened it up to find nothing but what should be in the normal closet of a guest room… oh wait… nope, we have a weird bag on the floor. It was plain white plastic, fairly large, and not too heavy as I picked it up.
There was a simple print out reading on the bottom of it. “Bambino Adult Diapers, small.”
I swore, threw the bag in the closet, slammed the door and threw myself on the bed. I don’t know why, but I cried. I cried because not only was life unfair, it had to be weird.
I slept in. I didn’t have a reason to be up early, so even after the sun glared through the window, I just rolled over and covered my head with a pillow. Sherry knocked on the door and offered breakfast but I told her to shove it. I just laid in bed and thought about the night before.
Probably around noon I finally left my room because I simply wasn’t tired any more and actually pretty hungry.
“Mornin’, sleep alright?”
I tried not to look at her. “I saw what was in the closet.”
“I want proof that $5000 is going to happen and I want a promise you’ll never speak of me or speak too me again after this week.” It was what I’d been thinking about all morning. With $5000 I could take a lease out on a cheap place somewhere for a couple of months and try working a job. F*** school, I was on my own now. No one was interested in my welfare, everyone was interested in their own.
Sherry laughed but went to her purse. “I’ve got $1000 on me now, can you take my word on the rest? I’d like to tell you the rest of the story.”
I took the wad of bills and I didn’t ask permission as I saw some cereal on top of her fridge and grabbed for it. “I’m listening,” I said as I sat down with a bowl. I shoved the money in the front pocket of my hoodie.
Sherry sat across from me. Despite her flakiness she was actually very pretty in a country way. She wasn’t a complete hick, more southern classic, what my mom liked to call “West Virginia Perfect” and she had Grandma’s strawberry blonde hair. Still, there were some rough edges too her she couldn’t really hide.
“I met Will online through a dating website. There are not really a lot of guys in this town who have any more ambition then taking over whatever family farm and making a mess of children. I’m actually the one who e-mailed him… he was being honest, and something about that attracted me to him.”
“Honest how? It’s the internet and it’s not like you were being honest.”
“The first thing in his profile was that he had a daughter and that whatever happened, she would be a big part of his life.”
Wish my parents could have said the same for me.
“I e-mailed him, and he only seemed mildly interested until I told him I had a little sister with special needs that I took care of.”
“Did it have to be incontawhatever? Couldn’t you have told him I had turrets and yelled curse words all the time? I could do that one REALLY convincingly.”
Sherry giggled and rolled her eyes. “I dunno, on a whim I told him you were in an accident while riding back from school two years ago and that it made you incontinent… I just wanted to seem like I had someone I cared about too… what’s amazing is what he wrote back.”
Sherry quickly jumped up from the table and ran over to a computer she had in the next room. I could hear her grabbing papers as I ate my cereal.
“Here, read this,” she said handing me a print out of an e-mail.
“I’m not a religious man… but… I do believe in more then just mere coincidence. I didn’t want to be open about this with someone who isn’t close to the family, and I know my daughter won’t be happy that I’m sharing this… but my Anna suffers just as your sister does. Three years ago she and her mother were on the road at night and a drunk driver hit them. My wife didn’t make it, but Anna survived with the loss of her leg and a lingering incontinence. It’s stunted her emotionally and socially. She’s 14 now, and it’s been tough for her, and the only reason I’m considering dating again is because she needs more then just me around. I don’t know why I’m telling you this, except that I never thought I’d meet someone who understood the patience we must have for someone else who needs it.”
Sherry was biting her lower lip and looking at me pleadingly. “Can’t you just… I mean, doesn’t it break your heart?”
“What breaks my heart is that you lied to this guy. He sounds genuine and you’re a big honking fake,” I put my spoon down. “Do you think reading this is going to galvanize me into helping you con this poor guy?”
“It’s just for a week. Please? I promise, one week, and we’ll be in love. You’ll get a friend in Anna too.”
“Anna is one legged and in diapers. I don’t think she’ll want to talk to me.”
“Just one week,” she said holding up a single finger. “One, and I promise five grand and I’ll never bother you again.”
I grumbled. “Fine, whatever, I’ll play along, but if he suspects something, don’t expect me to roll with the lies. That’s all you.”
Sherry nodded. “Thank you thank you thank you.”
“Whatever,” I said drinking some orange juice.
“Let’s put you in diapers right after you’re done eating so you can get used to them.”
I spit my orange juice out all over the table.
“Well little sis… you’re going to be incontinent… as in, you will have no control over your bathroom functions and need to wear diapers, just like Anna.”
Sherry just smiled. I wanted to throw the box of cereal at her head and storm out the door to whatever uncertain future lied ahead, but at the same time… I couldn’t… there was something so ridiculous about the whole thing that was strangely appealing. Maybe it was just that my life had been so shitty recently that I really had nothing to lose and nothing else to do.
I ate the rest of my meal in quiet. Sherry was smiling at me the whole time, and I tried not to make eye contact. I couldn’t help thinking though, what would Will and Anna be like? What would wearing diapers be like?
After I ate I went up to my room. Sherry followed behind me, still smiling like before. I thought briefly about slapping her.
“I’m going to shower,” I said just before I went in my room.
Sherry nodded, “End of the hall, feel free to use my shampoo.”
Oh, I planned on it. I put the money in my bag and threw off my hoodie and kicked off the jeans I’d slept in. I walked down the hall in my underwear to the bathroom and hopped in the shower. Sherry was sitting on my bed waiting when I got back.
“So how’s this going to work?” I asked, entirely skeptical.
“Just lay down on the bed, don’t worry, I was a babysitter all through high school, I know what I’m doing.”
Lay down on the bed she says… crap, she’s going to rape me. My own cousin.
I stood awkwardly at the door, wearing only a towel, feeling like I was teetering on the edge of infinity. Sherry got up off the bed, I could see she had the white package sitting behind her. I didn’t make a move toward her, but I didn’t fight either as she came up and calmly took my hand.
“I don’t like this,” I said as she led me toward the bed.
“It’s just for a week and it won’t be that bad. Plus, you won’t be the only one wearing them.”
“But it’s a lie… I won’t actually need them, and she will.” Something told me Anna would be mad if she found out I didn’t. “Isn’t there some other way?”
Sherry just smiled and opened my towel, I blushed a bit, but she at least didn’t uncover my chest. She only parted the towel to expose my lower half. I’m pretty skinny, and about average height for my age, 5’5 or so, but still, I felt very conscious of my body as it was bare before her. My chest was a small B cup and even though the towel was still in place, I couldn’t help folding my arms to cover myself. Sherry took out one of the over-sized diapers and had me lift my butt before she slid it under me. She reached over me for some white bottle and started sprinkling it on me.
I recognized the smell. “Talcum powder?”
“Baby powder,” she smiled.
“You’re really going all out,” I said in disbelief, like this wasn’t really happening to me.
Sherry nodded enthusiastically.
It was over quicker then I thought. She gave my ass a few playful pats before helping me off the bed. I took a tentative step, already not liking the bulk. I did a little bit of a squat and felt it crinkle and move with me. It was like having a crinkly pillow for underwear.
“It’s weird,” I said.
“Let’s get you dressed!”
“Nope,” I said quickly putting my hands on her back and pushing her out of the room. “Helping with incontinence does not mean helping with getting me dressed. Thankfully you didn’t make me mentally handicapped and I can take care of myself. Now OUT,” I said shutting the door.
“You know you sounded a lot like my sister just now,” Sherry said from the other side of the door. I rolled my eyes and went to my bag.
I thought to myself that it was probably ‘them’ vice ‘him’, but then again I knew who Sherry was in this for. I turned off the TV and got up to follow her to the door. My casual walk was slightly different, the bulk between my legs forced them to move in an unnatural pattern that was probably noticeable if you paid attention. Actually, the diapers themselves were undeniably noticeable; I was wearing loose fitting jeans and white plastic came out of the top, not to mention the crinkle.
Yesterday had been a trial of my resolve to pretend my cousin wasn’t crazy. Thankfully I had snuck off to the bathroom in the middle of the night for important business, but during the day she had dogged me when she saw me trying to use the bathroom. Urinating while fully dressed, in front of someone else, is just about the most embarrassing thing ever. Sherry insisted on ‘changing me’ but I don’t even want to go into that. It was going to be a long week.
Sherry opened the door. She was dressed up a bit and had a spent a good part of the morning braiding her hair.
“Hiiiii!” Sherry said as put on her best country smile. I rolled my eyes, but leaned out from behind her to take a look at our guests.
“Hi Sherry, it’s good to finally meet you.”
He looked just over six feet tall, and… good god was he handsome. Brown hair, broad shoulders, the body of Adonis, and two bright blue eyes. Sherry practically leaped out to hug him, leaving me to stand shyly at the door. I’d never met any guy who was so blatantly attractive before, and for the first time in my life, I felt extremely young and underdeveloped next to my cousin.
“I hope the drive wasn’t too long, thanks for coming to visit.”
Will smiled and hugged her, but didn’t seem as committed to the act as she was. He was simply being polite before he removed himself. “Thanks for inviting us, some time away from the city could do us some good.”
“Where’s Anna?” I said aloud as I realized Will was alone.
Will looked at me and smiled, causing me to blush furiously. “You must be Madison. Your sister told me so much about you.”
I shyly nodded, even though I wasn’t sure just what lies Sherry had said.
“Anna’s in the car, she’s a bit shy around new people and I told her I’d meet everyone first to make sure it was okay.” He turned and waved at his car. There was a dark blue BMW parked next to Sherry’s truck and the passenger side door opened as a girl got out.
She had long brown hair, about the same color as her father and looked pretty from what I could see. She took a moment to get out of the car and then walked to meet all of us at the door. I couldn’t help but notice a visible limp as she put pressure on her left leg. I was curious if she was really in diapers, but she was wearing a long sun dress and I couldn’t tell if she was wearing what I was.
“Anna, this is Sherry and Madison,” Will said motioning to the two of us.
Anna offered a shy wave. “Hi.”
There was something about her that immediately struck me as sad. Her dress was darker, maybe a little on the goth side, but at the same time she didn’t seem terribly emo. I stepped up, not entirely sure why, and offered my hand out for her to shake.
“It’s nice to meet you Anna, I’m Madison.”
Sherry beamed. Anna looked at my hand and then at me, before she gave it a gentle shake.
“It’s just about lunch and y’all must be hungry, come on in,” Sherry offered. Will and Anna came inside, taking a moment to look around. As flakey as my cousin could be, she had impeccable design sense, and the house was nicely furnished. “I’ll give you a quick tour if you’d like,” Sherry added, seeing their looks.
Sherry really was West Virginia perfect, she brought out the southern bell and started on the family history as it related to the living room and then led Will to the dinning room. Anna and I stayed in the foyer.
“Soooo….” Anna said looking at me curiously. She flicked some of the plastic poking out of my pants with a finger. “You’re in diapers?”
I gulped nervously. “Yah,” I said very consciously aware of the fact I was wearing them… and hadn’t taken a leak in a few hours.
She regarded me for a few seconds before going to catch up with Sherry and Will. Sherry was showing him something on the back side of the porch. Grandpa had made a wooden wind chime a long time ago and carved the branching family names in each of the pipes.
“How about that lunch?” Sherry asked Will. “I started a casserole this morning, chicken florentine.”
“Sounds great,” Will said, looking to Anna. Anna forced a smile and nodded. I say forced, because there was a subtle difference between a natural smile and one you made just for someone else… I’d been making smiles like that for Sherry all day.
We sat down to lunch. Sherry was happily getting everyone something to drink, she even mixed me this fru-fru juice drink, saying aloud how it was my favorite. She also made a big show of putting the casserole in the center of the dinning room table. This meal seemed like it was all just carefully orchestrated for Will. Sherry said a short grace, I didn’t bow my head but stared off into space indifferently. This felt like a movie that I was somehow a part of.
The food was actually really good. Of our family short comings, cooking wasn’t one of them. Sherry made nice with Will, talking about his business which was some sort of communications consulting, while Anna and I picked at our food. I was getting nervous as that need to pee was creeping up on me.
“So, Madison, do you like the country?” Will asked me. “Your sister told me you’ve only been living with her for a few months.”
I blushed again. In a way I could see why Sherry was trying so hard after meeting him, he was so handsome he made my heart flutter. A few months was wrong though, I hadn’t been here two days and I’d barely been outside in that time, too embarrassed of what I was wearing.
“It’s slower,” I said at last, digging my spoon at the casserole and trying not to look up at him. “Time goes by a little slower, the days seem a little longer, but that’s not really a bad thing I suppose. There’s a lot to see if you’re into nature.”
Will smiled and I swear I nearly melted.
“How about you Anna,” Sherry asked politely. “Were you looking forward to getting away from the city?”
“Not really,” she said poking at her food.
Sherry didn’t let the gloom affect her, she went right into it again with Will, talking about how she supported herself; which amazingly was through working bi-monthly at country fares. She didn’t specify what that meant, but remembering something my mom once said, I think she was a local apple blossom queen or something. That and her parents left her a tidy cash pile with all the livestock when they passed away a few years ago. My aunt and uncle died in their early 40’s from a commuter plane crash with some other family friends.
“Are you all right Madison?” Sherry asked me. “You’re fidgeting a lot.”
“Fine,” I said curtly at her. I was fidgeting because I was really beginning to feel the need to pee, and I don’t think she actually cared how I felt, she was quietly calling attention to the fact I might potentially embarrass her.
“Is something wrong with the food?”
“No. I’m fine.”
I’d had this same problem the night before, only this time it wasn’t in a controlled situation. I was at a table, with guests, and very seriously about to wet myself… why had I agreed to this?
I tried to stop my fidgeting, just sitting politely and listening to Will and Sherry. After a minute or two more, my focus on the feelings of my need to go were becoming overwhelming. Swallowing my pride, I let myself go.
I twisted the napkin in my lap and hoped I wasn’t making too much noise as the diaper underneath me began to get warm and wet. Even though there really was no noise, and no one could see inside my jeans, I felt sure that everyone could tell exactly what I was doing. Out of nervous habit, I bit my lower lip.
“Are you sure you’re all right Madison?” Sherry asked noticing my expression. I quickly nodded my head and stared down at my lap.
Anna put down her spoon. “Pee yourself?”
“Anna!” Will admonished.
Sherry looked bewildered for a moment, but then turned her head and raised an eyebrow at me. She silently asked ‘well, did you?’ with her facial expression. I just blushed and nodded.
“Oh honey,” Sherry said, acting the part of the caring sister. “If you’ll excuse me,” she said giving Will a pat on the shoulder. She got up and came over to me. I wasn’t sure what she was doing till she took my hand and practically dragged me out of my seat.
I wanted to die… seriously I wished that I could just have spontaneously winked out of existence as I followed behind Sherry. Will offered me another smile as we went past and up the stairs, my embarrassment gave way momentarily to my heart skipping a beat.
“You’re doing sooo wonderfully,” Sherry said as she brought me into my room. “Isn’t Will just the sweetest?”
I began to cry.
I sat on my bed and cried into my hands. Sherry sat down next to me, looking kind of confused.
“Are you all right Madison? You’re just wet, it’s not something to be too upset over.”
“Do you even care about me or my feelings at all?” I asked glaring at her through teary eyes. “This is all some ploy for you to get a guy… my world is seriously messed up right now and you could care less.”
“Madison, don’t be upset. It’s okay. You didn’t embarrass me or anything.”
I roughly shoved her away. “YOU? What about me? I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life!”
“You like him too don’t you?”
“He’s a guy,” I said trying not to admit that I’d never been so quickly smitten in my life. “I don’t need strangers seeing me like this and thinking that I…”
Sherry put her arms around me from behind, giving me a big hug and resting her chin on my shoulder.
“It’s all right. I’m sorry I made you do this…”
I knew she was probably lying, but at the same time the hug was the most physical contact with another person I’d had in probably a year, and even if not sincere… it felt good. I stopped crying and she got me to lay down.
“I know you’ve been through a really rough spot… and I haven’t really been that supportive since you came… but I promise, I’m not completely dense. This’ll be a great week okay?”
I tried to ignore her and just laid there while she took off my jeans. I don’t know why, but having a diaper changed was a perverse act. When I was in a new diaper and smelling slightly of talcum powder, she took me back downstairs.
“Sorry about that, Madison had a bit of an accident,” Sherry said as we came back into the dining room. I blushed bright red again… until we found the table empty.
Will and Anna were in the living room next to the dining room. Anna was lying on the floor with her dress pulled up and Will was doing the exact same for her as Sherry had just done for me.
“We’ll just be a moment,” Will said as he finished wiping Anna’s privates with a baby wipe. Sherry looked stunned and truthfully I probably did too. Anna was staring at the ceiling with casual indifference; I couldn’t believe how nonchalant she could be about it, I mean, I could see everything… including the fact that she really was handicapped. Her left leg ended at the knee and she had a prosthetic leg going down into a matching shoe.
“It’s… not a problem,” Sherry said trying to close her gaping mouth. Sitting next to them both was a black bag on the floor that I hadn’t seen them bring in earlier, must have gotten it from the car.
The two of us waited like intruders on someone else’s personal time… Sherry seemed more embarrassed about it then I was. I guess us being girls, and Anna comfortable with her dad on that level made it okay for her, but, there was something there I couldn’t look away from.
When Sherry had changed me, she had done it in the same way someone would clean the glass on a window, like it was a chore that needed to be done. Will… he was tending to her. I don’t know how else to describe it other then to see every movement all the way up to helping Anna back on her feet, was full of love.
And it hurt to see and realize something you’d never had before.
Anna smoothed her dress out and took a few unsteady steps back to the dinning room. She passed right by me with a somewhat proud limp, and gave me a weird look as she did.
Will offered up another sincere smile as he put away the black bag. “You’re not alone,” he said as he passed me with a pat on my shoulder. It was a minute later that I realized I was holding my breath.
Lunch was pretty much over after that. Sherry cleaned up the table and offered to show Will and Anna to the extra room where Will would be staying, and Anna to the room I was already in. Sherry figured that as girls of roughly the same age we’d be fine with it.
“Why don’t you girls get to know each other a little better?” Sherry offered as I helped her carry their bags. Anna was already waiting in my room with Will.
“Umm… sure,” I said bringing in what I think was her bag.
“Isn’t this a nice room Anna?” Will asked as he looked around. The room was mostly white with soft oak furniture on wood floors. Anna was over by the window.
“I guess,” she said. She held one of the white curtains aside to look at the backyard. It had a pretty nice view of fields stretching out to a bordering forest. “How long do we have to stay here Dad?”
“It’s just a few days. It’ll be good for you to get some fresh air and explore nature a little bit.”
Anna left the window rolling her eyes. “Right…”
Will smiled and clapped me on the shoulder. “You two have fun.”
“We’ll be on the back porch if you need us,” Sherry offered. I could tell she practically couldn’t wait to get alone time with Will.
The two of them left. Anna walked over and nudged me aside, taking her bag and sitting it down in the middle of the floor with herself in front of it.
“Enjoy the show?” she asked over her shoulder.
"What… what do you mean?’
Anna took out a leather bound book. “Seeing me naked? Seeing my father change me on the floor like a toddler?”
I blushed. “Umm… well its not like you tried to hide it.”
Anna shrugged. “I don’t much care.” She moved to the wall under the window and opened up her book and kept it carefully out of my view. The windows of the room were sort of built into the roof, so that the two windows of the room were their own little alcove and outside the windows jutted out like mini-churches on an angled surface.
Anna seemed comfortable in the corner, but given the white walls of the room and the curtains next to her, her darker clothes made her seem out of place. She tucked her knees up to rest the book on, and either on purpose or accidental, I could see right up her dress at the exact same type of diaper I was wearing.
“You don’t want to be here, do you?” I said sitting down and hugging my knees.
Anna didn’t look up from her book, but rather began to draw in it. “No no, visiting the country and meeting some weird hicks is my favorite thing to do when dad’s not working,” she said in the most sarcastic voice she could muster.
I frowned, why had I agreed to this. She didn’t want to be here, I didn’t want to be here… despite Sherry’s promise, this week was going to suck.
“So what do you hicks do around here anyway Maddey?”
“My name is Madison,” I said glaring. “And stop calling me hick, I’m from New York. I was named after an Avenue in Manhattan.”
“Oh, aren’t we royalty,” Anna said snidely. “Well MadEEson, Dad said you’ve been here a few months, what’s there to do in hickville?”
This girl could push buttons. “Look outside, West Virginia is fairly well known for the outdoors,” I said.
Anna tapped her pen on her prosthetic leg. “Me and the outdoors don’t get along too great.”
“You could just sit around and be miserable then,” I said, beginning to get annoyed.
“Already doing that.”
Anna went back to drawing and I just sat in the middle of the room hugging my legs and staring down at my shoes.
“What are you drawing?” I asked after a time.
“Something with ink.”
I frowned. Silence dragged on for a while longer. Anna kept drawing, I really had nothing to do. There wasn’t a TV in my room, and I didn’t have any books or stuff to occupy myself with… just witty banter with this disgruntled girl in this sick game my cousin was playing. I wished I was anywhere else.
“Your dad seems nice,” I said. He was the only pleasant thought I could think of.
Anna stopped drawing. “Yah, so?”
Now she was glaring at me. “Umm… just saying is all.”
“Well, your sister was all over him. As soon as he gets his rocks off, I’m going to have him take me out of here. Don’t think for a second I’m here for any other reason then him.”
My mouth hung open. “Get his rocks off?”
“My dad hasn’t been laid since mom died. All he does is work and take care of me. I’m afraid he’ll die of blue balls if I don’t get him dating again.”
I was stunned. I couldn’t believe she would say something like that.
“What the hell are you?” I said at last. “How can you be like that?”
Anna laughed. “It comes with being handicapped, when the world is unfair to you, you get a free right to be mean.”
“What?!” I said starting to breath a little heavy. “But… your dad?”
Anna sighed. “Dad’s naïve. Ever since mom died, he’s put all his effort into helping me. It’s starting to smother me, I just want him to relax a bit, and she was the first person he had talked about beside me.”
Jesus Christ… this was nightmare. Will might have been innocent, but from where I stood, it seemed like two sides were playing each other… and I was somewhere in the middle.
I slowly stood up and started to run out of the room. I wasn’t phased by the crinkling or the unfamiliar way I was forced to run. I came down the stairs, hit the front door and looked at the long dirt road that led away from the house and off to nowhere.
This was too much. Why was I willingly being a part of this? Could I just go? I had a thousand now. Could I just take it and start walking? Tears started to trail down my cheek.
“Is everything all right Madison?” Sherry asked as she came around the side of the porch with Will. “I heard the front door.”
I looked at them and froze. “I um…” I tried to get my crying under control.
“Did you have another accident?” Will asked with a concerned look.
I blushed, but shook my head no.
“Then why are you crying?” Sherry asked confused.
“I think I know,” Will sighed as he walked past me.
“Umm… everything all right Madison?” Sherry asked when we were alone. I just shook my head no and stayed quiet. “Remember our talk earlier? I promise, I’ll make this a good week.”
Will came down the stairs a second later with Anna right behind him. She had to take each stair one at time and she had an annoyed look on her face.
“Anna… What did you say?” Will asked. He didn’t say it so much as a demand, but more as something you’d ask an errant child.
Anna just shrugged. “I’m sure Madison already told you,” she said with a look of ice.
“Madison didn’t say anything actually,” Sherry said. “She was just down here crying.”
Will sighed again. “Please Anna, try to make friends… please? For me? Can you two try to be friends?”
Anna rolled her eyes.
“Okay…” I offered. Will smiled my way, and I tried not to look like it was the only reason I said it. Sherry smiled as well, taking a second to brush some of her long blonde hair out of her face and bend down to hug me in a fake sisterly way.
“You two play nice,” she said like I was two. I wanted to scream, but I held it in. The two of us went back upstairs to the room. Sherry and Will went to do whatever they were doing before. A part of me hoped it wasn’t what Anna thought.
“Didn’t rat me out?” Anna asked as she settled in by the window again.
“You want your dad to get laid, and my ‘sister’,” and I put a lot of sarcasm on sister, “wants the same thing… Everyone’s happy right? I think you had it right earlier. Let’s just ignore each other, kay?”
Anna smirked. “Sounds good,” she said as she went back to drawing.
I went and laid down on the bed. I’d slept in this morning but if there was one thing I’d learned from my torment with arguing parents, forcing yourself to sleep helped make the time go by faster. I simply NEEDED this week to be over.
I woke up some time later to a sharp pain. I moaned feebly and clutched at my stomach.
“Umm… can you stop being noisy over there?” Anna asked from the window. She was still sitting there and looked at me cautiously.
“Stomach… hurts,” I managed to say before passing a little gas… Anna made a face and I blushed, but then suddenly I gasped. My eyes shot wide open. That wasn’t just gas, and it was not about to wait. My stomach cramped up again and before I could even muster any control over myself, something warm and wet was forcing itself out of me.
“You didn’t…” Anna said with an incredulous look on her face. She got up and limped over to me, laughing softly. “Well… damn.”
I just hugged at my stomach and started to cry as my diaper continued to fill. I wanted to quit. Whenever Sherry got back up here, I’d tell her game over… this was too much.
“You know, I’ve always thought my accident left me with the short end of the stick, but even without my leg, I can say I’m glad I don’t have TOTAL incontinence,” Anna said. “I’ll go get your sister.”
Instead of leaving the room, Anna simply went over to the window and opened it. “Hey dad? Are you still on the back porch?”
“We’re down here,” Will called.
“Bring Sherry, her sister needs her again.”
I didn’t wait, I ran down the hallway clutching my stomach and shut myself in the bathroom. This was not something I wanted to share with company, or even my cousin. I fell to my knees, being careful not to sit on what was in my diaper. Was I sick? How had that happened?
“Everything okay? Where did Madison go?” Sherry asked a moment later. I could hear her outside the door.
“She pooped herself, cried about it and ran into the bathroom.”
“Anna! You of all people should sympathize with her,” Will said.
“She asked a question, I answered.”
There was quiet for a moment, before someone knocked on the door. “Madison?”
I didn’t answer, I just sat on the floor.
“Madison, are you in there?”
“I’m here,” I said through some tears. I felt really crappy (literally) and even though I wanted to die, I didn’t want to be alone. The handle on the door turned and Sherry poked her head in.
“Aww honey, it’s okay.”
No it wasn’t.
“Come on off the floor, let me help you.”
She didn’t really want to help me.
“I’m not feeling well,” I said as she pulled me up.
“Let me help you out of the diaper and you can take a shower.”
I nodded. “I don’t want to do this any more,” I said still crying and feeling miserable, I guess it finally got to her because she looked at me sheepishly.
“I’ll make it $6000, that was my bad, I spiked your drink.”
Sherry quickly put her hand over my mouth. “Shhhh.”
I bit her hand, she winced but held it there.
“Ow ow, stop it.”
I had a solid reason not too.
“I’m sorry, but look, it brought you right into character didn’t it? Will just adores you.”
I stopped biting. “He… does?”
Sherry nodded. “I think if you could make friends with Anna, it’d go a long way.”
I wanted to quit. I wanted to run away… but all I could think of was Will’s smile and the way he looked at me… like I was the one in a million similarity to his daughter. I stood motionless as Sherry took off my jeans, helped me out of the diaper and got me into the shower.
“I hate you,” I said sincerely.
“I know sweetie. You’re doing great.”
I didn’t speak to Sherry for the rest of the afternoon. I didn’t speak to Anna for that matter either. I answered a few questions for Will at the dinner table, mostly about what Anna and I could do the next day. I had wanted to say we could ignore each other and pretend to pal around, but instead I agreed to take her out. He had his mind set that the two of us would go see a lake somewhere on the farm that Sherry had told him about.
After dinner and some TV, Sherry laid out a sleeping bag on the floor of my room and left a pillow for me. Anna was going to have the bed as the guest. I took off my jeans and found a long t-shirt before going and trying to brush my teeth. Anna was already in the bathroom with the door open doing the same. She was wearing a loose pair of sweats and simple t-shirt, and for a moment she looked pretty normal, but like me earlier, you could see the edge of the diaper poking out of her sweats.
She saw me in the mirror and I waited patiently, but she made a nod for me to join and didn’t say anything as I did. I brushed, rinsed, spat, and headed back to the room. Anna followed a moment later and we both found Sherry and Will waiting. I wasn’t sure what was going on, but Anna went right up to Will. He knelt down so their height was even and she put an arm on his shoulder. Carefully he raised the leg of her sweats to her knee and undid the clasps on her prosthetic leg, removing it.
I’d like to say that I didn’t stare, but I did. It was surreal, not weird, but just something I’d never seen. Will hugged her close and lifted her into the bed and gave her a kiss on the forehead. I was jealous. So jealous that I didn’t feel Sherry lifting the back of my nightshirt. I did however feel her pull the back of my diaper away. I let out a small shriek as Sherry checked on me in a rather infantile way.
“Your clean,” Sherry proclaimed.
I spun around and nearly slapped her. I heard Anna giggle a little and surprisingly, I saw Will frowning at Sherry. She took immediate notice and genuinely looked embarrassed.
“I was only joking with her,” she said patting me on the head. If it weren’t for the company, I would have hit her.
I crossed my arms. “If I have a problem, I’ll tell you.”
Sherry forced a smile, but backed off. She mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ when Will wasn’t looking, but I turned away from her and showed her my back.
“How are you doing Anna?” Will asked his daughter.
Will just nodded and went to her black bag. I know that earlier, I said that getting a diaper change seemed like a perverse act to me… well I couldn’t help but wish that it was me that Will was about to change. Anna didn’t seem to care, but I could see the earnest look of love that Will had for her.
“I’ll be downstairs,” Sherry said politely excusing herself.
“I’ll be down shortly,” Will said. Her pulled down Anna’s sweats and began to change her diaper. I laid down on the sleeping bag, trying my best to think on something else.
“Good night,” Will said when he was finished. Anna didn’t reply. “And good night to you too Madison,” he added.
“Good night,” I offered shyly.
He left and shut the door behind him. It wasn’t really that late, it was already dark out, but as teens, not that late. The agreement to ignore each other held true and both Anna and I just laid quietly; aware of the other’s presence, but not doing anything about it.
I didn’t go to sleep easy. The nap I’d had earlier left me fairly awake. Not only that, but my mind was too jam packed with the torment of an unsettling reality. Here I was, used, unloved and wearing a diaper. All I had to go on was the promise I could try and find my own way a few days from now. I think I just wanted to die.
I finally fell asleep, probably around one or two. When I woke up there was light coming through the window. I wasn’t completely awake, just groggily not asleep and feeling the need to use the bathroom.
I started to shift and push myself off the sleeping bag, but in doing so I heard the crinkle that reminded me just what I was wearing. I wasn’t really in the mood to play more games this morning, so I quietly got out of my sleeping bag and crept out of the room to check the hallway. I could hear someone in the shower, and I swore before going back into the room and getting in my sleeping bag once more.
Anna was still sleeping on the bed and I tried not to wake her. Last thing I needed was for her to be cranky at me. Back in my sleeping bag, and wishing that I was somewhere else, I slowly forced myself to wet the diaper I was wearing. It’d make my cousin happy at least.
It was probably another hour of just lying fitfully on the floor before I heard Anna.
“You awake Madison?” she asked.
“Yah, I’m up.”
I contemplated throwing my pillow at her. “No,” I said sharply. “You?”
“Not since before the car accident,” she said in the same voice.
For a moment I actually felt a little bad, but at the same time, it was a confliction of emotions since whatever things were wrong in her life, seemed equal to or less then what was wrong with mine.
“Can you go get my dad? I don’t want to go hopping around on one foot.”
I sighed but got up and crinkled out into the hall. Whoever was in the bathroom earlier was out now. No one was in the guest room or Sherry’s room, so I went down the stairs to find Sherry and Will talking over breakfast.
“Morning sis,” Sherry said with a golden smile. Will nodded pleasantly over a cup of coffee at me.
I stumbled for a moment trying to remember if I had come down just to see him smile or do something else.
“Umm… Anna is up and…”
Will took another sip out of his coffee before setting it down and getting up. He was wearing a simple white t-shirt and a pair of jeans, and I couldn’t help but marvel at his physique. Sherry followed him up as I led the way to the bedroom.
“Morning dad,” Anna said, now sitting up in the bed.
“Morning Anna,” he said warmly. “Need a change?”
Will went right to her black bag just as he had the night before and Anna made herself more comfortable on the bed.
Sherry came up to me. “Do you need me to check?”
I frowned, “Just change me too.”
“Well go ahead and lie down then honey,” Sherry said going to the closet.
“Now?” I asked suddenly realizing she intended to change me in front of Will and Anna.
“We don’t mind,” Will said as he was untaping Anna’s diaper.
I bit my lower lip and Sherry came back with the diaper package and motioned for me to lay down on the sleeping bag. I whimpered a little, looking at Will out of the corner of my eye, but he was pretty focused on Anna. Sherry was giving me the pleading stare to not make it awkward, but it was a bit late for that. I laid down on the sleeping bag and blushed bright red as Sherry lifted my night shirt and both Anna and I got our diapers changed. The humiliation never ceased.
After our change, Sherry had dug up an old pair of her overalls and a red shirt for me. Anna had a hard time suppressing a laugh as I ended up dressing every bit like the hick I’d told her I wasn’t. Sherry even took the time to put my hair into a pony tail. Anna was in a simple pair of blue capris with black top.
It wasn’t long after that the four of us were having breakfast. Sherry was cooking the eggs, Will had insisted on grilling the bacon and ham. The two of them had made known the plan that Anna and I would be going outside today.
“You remember where the lake is Madison? Just on the other side of the north field and through the tree line?”
I nodded absently, very subtle cousin… very subtle indeed. Anna sent a few glares to her father as he smiled and talked about how much he loved the outdoors. He even asked about a campout or bonfire later in the week. Sherry loved the idea… or at least pretended she did.
After breakfast, Anna and I set out for the lake. Anna didn’t look at all pleased to being forced out of the house with me.
“Your sister better be worth this for my dad,” she said as she limped off the dirt road and through the field. I choose not to comment.
It took us a little while to get there, I had to keep waiting for Anna. It wasn’t like she was struggling, she just had to take it slower and make each step carefully in the uneven field.
The farm was pleasant and it wasn’t disgusting hot out. Since the field hadn’t been grazed on by any animals in recent years the grass was long and even though I felt somehow dumber wearing overalls, I was glad that they covered my legs against any tics and chiggers. I hid a smile as Anna grunted her way through one particularly overgrown patch.
It wasn’t too long before we found our way through a thin forest of trees to a natural lake and our destination.
“So what now cowgirl?” Anna asked limping up next to me.
I shrugged and picked up a rock, skipping it across the lake. If anything, it was pretty, but aside from throwing rocks I couldn’t think of anything to do.
“We could go for a swim,” I said at last, but immediately had second thoughts as I realized I didn’t have a bathing suit and didn’t feel entirely comfortable skinny dipping in broad daylight.
“I think my dad knows I hate nature,” Anna said at length. “You can swim if you want, go frolic with the frogs or whatever.”
Her tone was almost complete disgust. “Did you always hate nature?” I asked.
Anna looked at me for a moment, giving me a glare. “No… I didn’t. I didn’t hate stairs or have plumbing like a leaky faucet either, but sometimes your circumstances change things.”
“I know what you mean,” I said taking another rock and skipping it in the water. I didn’t hate my cousin till a few days ago. I didn’t hate my life this much till a year ago.
Anna opened her mouth to say something but then frowned and shut it. “Maybe my dad’s not so naïve,” she laughed to herself. “Every time he’s tried to force me to make friends, I’ve always pushed them away and made them feel awful because they don’t suffer like I do.” Anna bent down, it was an awkward movement as she put her left leg out to the side like she was doing some tai chi pose, but managed to make it look somewhat graceful as she picked up a rock too. “A guilt trip isn’t going to work on you is it?” she said chucking the stone at the water.
I looked over my shoulder at her. “I think if you knew the whole truth, you’d think I had it worse then you.”
Anna raised an eyebrow at me.
I grabbed a rock and chucked it hard at the water. It didn’t skip like the others, it just made a kurploosh. Anna looked at me kind of weird and I smiled at her the way that sharks probably smile at smaller fish.
“Somehow I don’t think you’re lying,” she said at last. “What’s with your sister anyway? If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she was teasing you more then patronizing you.”
I laughed a little. Some sister… she’d been using me as a way to get to Will. And here was Will’s daughter, using her simply as a way to have her dad to stop smothering her. I was the pawn.
“You know what? You liked fucked up things right?” I asked finding another rock. “You seem demented enough from our little talks.”
Anna smirked and raised her eyebrow. “Try me.”
“Sherry’s not my sister,” I said throwing the rock. I laughed hard at that. Anna just looked confused. I hadn’t ratted on her, and somehow I knew she wouldn’t on me.
“What is she to you?”
“She’s my cousin.” I said laughing even harder. “I came to live with her because my parents didn’t want me any more. They just recently got divorced and neither one wanted to be weighed down by anything.”
“Ouch,” Anna smiled. “That’s kind of messed up… but why the charade?”
“Oh it gets better. I was looking forward to living with my cousin, but she tells me she’s got this boy she’s interested in and she needs me to pretend to be her special little sister. Coincidently she told this big lie that just happened to be true for your dad.”
Anna just smiled even broader.
“That’s where you come in!” I said pointing at her. Then I grabbed at straps of my overalls and lowered the front flap to show off what I was wearing. “These diapers? I don’t need them… Sherry’s been forcing me to use them and even spiked my drink during lunch yesterday so I’d shit myself.”
Anna burst out laughing. “Wow… Now that, is fucked up.”
I kept laughing… she was laughing, I was laughing… then just as quickly, I sank to my knees and started crying, great big sobs, hugging my stomach. Anna took a few steps over to a tree nearby and put her back to it, easing herself down to sit on the ground.
“Your right…” she said after a moment. “You do have it worse.”
“I want to die,” I said between sobs.
Anna frowned. “Slow down Madison, its bad, but it’s not that bad.”
“You asked why I didn’t rat you out yesterday.”
Anna nodded slowly. She was watching me with a curious look now.
“I felt trapped, trapped in my cousins’ plans, trapped in your plans… Everyone is out for themselves… EVERYONE! I’m just a pawn. The only reason I’m doing any of this is because my cousin promised me a few thousand dollars and that she’d drive me somewhere so I could start a new life.”
Anna sat at the base of the tree mulling over what I said, while I continued to cry, thinking over all the shit I’d been put through over the past few months and wondering why the world had to be so cruel… and most cliché of all… wondering why nobody loved me.
“You know Madison,” Anna said getting up off the ground. She had to use her hands to push herself up the trunk.
I tried to stop crying enough to look at her.
“I think you’re the first person I might consider being friends with.”
I went back to crying.
Anna limped up to me and kicked me in the thigh with her prosthetic leg. I fell off balance and had to take a hand away from my eyes to steady myself. I looked at her confused and hurt.
“All right, you win. Your life sucks more then mine. Grow up and get over it.”
My mouth hung open, but she just made another kick with her leg. That thing was metal somewhere and it freaking hurt. In a panic I swept my hand out and the two made contact at an awkward angle. The leg came off and buried itself upside down in the mud right before the water’s edge.
Anna and I both gasped.
“What the fuck Madison?” Anna said as she flailed her arms and suddenly came to rest with both her hands on my shoulders to steady herself.
“You… you were kicking me!” I said looking up at her.
“To try and get you to stop being a drama whore. Jesus, our lives suck, get over it.” She pushed herself up to balance, hopping awkwardly back to the tree. “Go get it!” she demanded, pointing at the leg. I turned and looked at it… in a sick way, it was sticking right up out of the water, and it kind of looked like there was a body that had been potted there like a flower with only one leg out. Maybe the ridiculousness of it all got to me, but in my tears I laughed a little.
“Alright haha, my leg’s in the mud. Can you help me out?”
I dried my tears, trying to halt my sobbing and trudged over to her leg, pulling it out. The half where her knee would go was caked with mud pretty bad. I walked back to Anna. She looked somewhat embarrassed, and held her hand out for the leg with a frown.
“I won’t say anything to my dad or to your ‘sister’,” she said taking the prosthetic. She turned it right side up. She had to balance on one foot to brush the mud off with one hand while holding the leg with the other. “Jesus you broke the clasp,” she said looking at the round spot where her knee went.
“Sorry…” I said feeling bad. “You were kicking me. I haven’t exactly been in a good mood lately.”
Anna smirked. “It’s not that big a deal, but my dad’s going to freak out. He probably won’t make us go outside any more if he thinks this will make me depressed.”
“I don’t follow what you mean.”
Anna steadied herself on the