My summer in hell

Mom’s arm was latched so tight on mine as she marched me through the front door of Jefferson Middle School, I thought she was going to break it off.

“But Mom! He…”

“Shut your MOUTH, Jamie!” I hated when she called me that. “You put that boy in the HOSPITAL! You broke his kneecap and his nose! I don’t care what he did to you! We’ll be lucky if his parents don’t sue the hell out of us!”

I couldn’t help but smile as I remembered him lying there, face covered in blood, writhing in pain.

“Oh, and you think it’s funny now?! You know what, that’s fine. I’m done talking.”

Good, I thought. Of course I wasn’t thinking about how when Mom got silent, things tended to go very badly for me.

She didn’t speak again until we got into the front door. And she got all weird and crazy too. I started upstairs to my room, but she stopped me. “Uh-uh. I thought my little boy was mature enough for school, but clearly you’re not. So you’re gonna stay down here where Mommy can keep an eye on you.” Her eyes were almost glazed over as she glared at me.

“What are you even talking about?!” I started to back away toward the stairs. “I’m just going to my room, Mom!”

“You’re going to sit your ass on that couch until I tell you otherwise, little boy!”

I sat. But I wasn’t done arguing. “This is fucking ridiculous, Mom! I’m not some little… OW!”

She had me by the ear, and I had no choice but to follow her into the kitchen. She ripped my pants down, grabbed a wooden spoon, and went to work.

“Ow! Ow! Ow! Mom! Please! I’m sorry! Ow! Ow!” She kept wailing away, until my protests turned into begging and pleading, then into sobbing. When my knees finally buckled, she let my shoulder go and I dropped to the floor.

“Little boys don’t use that kind of language, especially not toward their mommies, you hear me?!”


“Yes what?!”

“Yes I hear you… Mom…”

“You will call me MOMMY, or we’re gonna go another round!”

“I’m sorry… Mommy!”

“Much better. Now you drag your little butt back into that living room, sit on the floor, and be a good little boy, and maybe Mommy will let you watch some TV for a while.”

“Yes…Mommy…” I dragged myself to my feet, pulled up my pants, wincing as my underpants pressed against my red-hot bottom, and limped back into the living room, trying my best to stifle my sobbing and sniffling and hiccuping. What the hell just even happened?! I started to gingerly sit on the couch when she screamed again.

“I SAID FLOOR! You’re not getting snot all over my upholstery!”

I was getting mad again, but after that experience, all I could do was swallow my rage and sit. It didn’t take five seconds for that to become too painful, so I laid over onto my side, humiliated, angry, and miserable.

“Now, would my little guy like to watch some TV while we wait for Sissy to come homeand babysit for Mommy?”

The threat of that spoon kept my tongue in check, though I was starting to boil over again. “Yes… Mommy,” I said through gritted teeth. Babysit?! Really?! Maggie was only four years older than me!

Mom grabbed the remote and turned the TV on… to PBS. Then, to my horror, she engaged the parent lock, disabling everything but TV-Y. Which basically meant that I was stuck watching… Bob the Builder?! Dear god, this was going to suck for two hours before Maggie got home. At least she wouldn’t put up with watching this crap. Mom pulled out her phone as she went back to the kitchen and sat down, fingers flying around. Probably gossiping with her friends on Twitter or something. Every so often her eyes popped up at me, and the subtle grin never left her face. What, was she announcing to the whole world she just beat the hell out of her kid and was now being congratulated for it?! My fists clenched as I stared at the TV, but the clunky stop-frame and the stupid voices and all of it just grated my nerves. I started to sit up, but I was immediately reminded of why I chose to lay down in the first place, and I flopped out onto my stomach, my arms folded under my head to create the best pillow I could muster.

Finally, after I’d heard enough of Elmo’s shrill voice to make me sick to my stomach,the door in the foyer burst open. “Hey Mom! Hey wittle Jay-Jay!” Maggie declared as she walked into the living room. “Uh-oh, wooks wike someone’s not a happy wittle camper!”

Dammit. Mom filled her in. And obviously told her to lay it on thick. “I’m not two years old, Maggie! Cut it out!”

“Aw, is your wittle bottom still sore from mean old Mommy’s spankin’?”


“Maybe we just need a wittle nap, huh Grumpy Dog?”

Mom laughed as she gathered up her purse and keys. “It’s a little late for a nap now. Would’ve been a good idea about an hour ago. I should have thought of that. Anyway, you have my permission to use the spoon on him if he gives you any trouble.” She squatted in front of me, glaring down. “But wittle Jay-Jay’s gonna be a good boy for Sissy, isn’t he?”

“Yes… Mommy”

My sister burst into giggles as Mom stood up. “Of course he will! Bye bye, little guy. Mommy be right back!”

As soon as the front door closed, I glared at Maggie. “Jay-Jay?! What the fuck?!”

Her face got dark. “I’m pretty sure that’s what got you your last spanking, little boy! Maybe you want another one?!”

“Oh like you’re really gonna…” I swallowed that hard as I watched her reach for the spoon. “Okay, okay, sorry, I’ll be good!” I started backing up toward the chair on my still-sore butt.

“You’re damn right you’ll be good. You’re going to do exactly what I say for the next half an hour, unless you want Mom to find out about you being a bad little boy the second she left!”

“No…please… don’t tell Mom! I’ll do whatever you want!” My bladder cramped a bit at the panic.

“Much better. First of all, you don’t move from that spot until I give you permission. I’m gonna do some homework for a while. That’s what big boys and girls do when they come home from school. You don’t have any homework because you’re a little boy who doesn’t go to school anymore.”

“Whatever… I gotta go to the bathroom.”

“Does wittle Jay-Jay gotta go potty?” She grinned broadly.

“No, James has to go to the bathroom!”

“Oh, too bad. You can sit there, then.”

“Aw, come on!” She ignored me. Screw it. I could hold it until Mom got back. I wasn’t debasing myself any further than I already had.

Twenty minutes later, I started to realize I was wrong. “Maggie?” She ignored me again. “Maggie?!”

“You call me Sissy, like Mom told you.”

I fell silent again, trying to reposition myself so I could hold it better. I was cramping up pretty good, but Mom would be home soon. It’d be worth it not to give in to my bitch sister.

Five minutes later, and I was hurting, bad. “Come on, Maggie! Enough is enough!” No answer. Fine. “Fuck this!” I got up and started toward the powder room down the hallway. Before I reached the door, Maggie had me by my shirt collar. “I told you about cursing at me! Now you’re gonna get it!”

Not again! She dragged me back into the living room and bent me over the arm of the chair, holding me with one hand and pulling my pants down just enough to reveal my ass with the other. “Maggie… I mean Sissy! Please! I’m sorry! I’m…” Thwack, thwack, thwack! The spoon started raining fire back down on my bottom, and her hand in the small of my back pinned me down in spite of my squirming. Worse, I started peeing uncontrollably. In no time, I was crying like a little girl as pee soaked through my underwear and started running down my legs, saturating my socks as she hammered away at my backside.

Just when I thought she’d never stop, the door opened again. “Hey Sissy, hey Jay-Jay! Mommy’s home!” Maggie straightened up and pulled me to a stand next to her, jerking my pants up in the back, facing me toward the foyer. “Sounds like someone was a bad little boy while Mommy was…” Mom walked in and stopped cold, dropping her shopping bags at her feet. “What in the world?!”

Mom stood there, mouth wide open. My face flushed beet red, a whimpering mess after having another fire lit on my backside, but now completely humiliated as I stood there in soaking wet pants. “She wouldn’t…” I started through my blubbering.

“SHUT UP JAMIE!” I went back to sobbing. Mom looked at Maggie. “What happened, Sissy?”

“Well, someone was being a little grouch. As soon as you left he told me to eff off. Later on he started squirming around, and I asked him if he had to go potty, but he just sat there and sulked, so I left him to sit. Then he cursed at me again, so I gave him a spanking, and he peed his pants, which is when you walked in.”

“Mom, she’s lying! She wouldn’t let me…”

“Open your mouth again little boy, and you’ll be right back over my knee!” Mom turned back to Maggie. “Sissy, please go get me a couple towels so I can get little Jay-Jay cleaned up.” Maggie darted off down the hall, sniggering as she went. Bitch!

“Well, little boy, not only did you prove you weren’t ready for school, it looks like you proved that you weren’t ready for potty training either!” Mom reached into one of the grocery sacks and pulled out a bag of bedwetting pants for boys. “I was going to let you wear these during the day, but clearly you just don’t want to be a big boy at all, do you?”

“It wasn’t my fault, Mom…mee!”

“Of course it wasn’t your fault!” Maggie returned with two bath towels and an evil grin on her face. Mom spread one of the towels out on the floor. “You’re just a little baby who can’t help himself,aren’t you?” She grabbed my arm and jerked me down onto the towel. “Maggie, take the other towel and clean up his puddle over there, and bring me the other bag please. It’s okay baby, Mommy’s gonna get you all fixed up.” I struggled, squirming and sobbing, but Mom’s powerful hand on my middle held me fast. Maggie snatched the second bag and dragged it over, then started wiping the floor with the second towel.

“Please. Mommy! I don’t wanna…”

“I know, you don’t wanna be a big boy, we’re gonna fix that for you in just a minute. Sissy, go ahead and get those containers open for me. I can’t do much with one hand here.” Out they came, first the baby powder, then the wipes, then… a bag with "Molicare Super"across the front. “Size XS,” it read. Meanwhile, Mom had my soggy pants and underpants stripped off, and she was pulling off my socks one by one. I fought against Mom’s grip when I saw that bag. She gave me a hard swat on my thigh. “You will lie still, little boy, or I swear I will make you regret it!” I was already in hysterics from Maggie’s vicious spanking, so all there was left to do was lay there and blubber even louder as Maggie pulled a huge pale purple diaper out of the bag. I was pretty sure this was nothing like the diapers Mom used to buy for me when I actually was a baby – it was all plastic, and it made a spectacular rustling noise as Sissy scrunched it in her hands, examining it with glee. Oh, and it was way, way bigger than any diaper I’d ever seen.

“What a pretty colored diaper for my wittle baby brother!” she sneered as Mom wiped me down with several cold wet wipes and covered my whole crotch with powder. I scrunched my eyes shut and covered them with my arms; I couldn’t stand to watch anymore.

“Yes, yes, baby, Mommy’s gonna get you all fixed up, no need to cry anymore. Sissy, put your hand right where mine is so I can get his diaper on for him. And watch carefully, 'cause you’ll probably need to do this quite a few times over the next couple of weeks.”

A couple of weeks?! I didn’t think I could bawl any louder, but somehow I did while Mom picked my legs up and slid the diaper under me, taping it up on both sides and giving it a pat in the front. It was a sick sound, hollow and plastic.

“Of course Sissy will help change wittle Jay-Jay’s diapees!” Maggie always loved it when I was in trouble, but she was enjoying this on a level that was downright terrifying, and if I weren’t already sitting on hot coals from the beatings I’d taken already that day, completely humiliated and degraded by pissing myself and being diapered like an infant by my mother, I’d probably be scared of how bad it was going to get when Mom wasn’t around. So I lay there and sobbed instead, which Mom seemed content to let me do until I calmed down. She even told Maggie to go put the supplies in the hall closet, which at least got her off my back for a little bit.

“Now,” Mom said as she pulled me back up to a sit. “Mommy was going to let you wear pull-ups during the day from now until school lets out, and wearing diapers to bed, just like you did when you were three and being stubborn about training. Of course, after earning yourself two spankings and making puddles on Mommy’s hardwood floor in one afternoon, I think we’re going to have to earn our pull-ups too by showing Mommy and Sissy both that we can behave like a big boy. Right now, since you’re all safe from making any more puddles, you can climb your little baby butt onto the couch and sit quietly until the pizza man gets here. Do you think you can do that?”

I was a slobbering mess by this point, but I managed to whimper, “Yes Mommy,” which earned me another very audible giggle from Maggie. “Make her stop, Mommy!” I yelled in a moment of ingenuity. They wanted to treat me like a toddler, then dammit, I was going to at least try and leverage the role a little bit.

“Sissy, don’t be mean to your baby brother. Say you’re sorry.”

Maggie got right up in my face and said, “Awww, I’m sowwy wittle baby Jay-Jay! You’re just such a cute wittle baby, I couldn’t help it.” Then she planted a slobbery wet kiss on my forehead. “Here, Sissy help you up on the couch, okay?” Without warning, she grabbed me under the armpits and heaved me up, swatting my backside with another huge, hollow thump. “What a big baby you are! Baby SO big!” She pinched my cheek and walked away, laughing out loud now. I stared at Mom, pouting.

“What? She said she was sorry.” Mom grinned as she stood up. So much for leverage. “Now you be a good baby, nice and quiet for Mommy, okay? Mommy doesn’t want to have to give you any more spankings tonight. Your poor little bottom has probably had enough, huh?”


“Good boy. After supper, Mommy make sure and get Daddy on the phone to say night-night before you go beddy-bye. Won’t that be nice?”

My eyes bulged. I could tell Dad! He’d make them stop! He wouldn’t let them keep this up, would he?! “Yes Mommy!” I said with a great deal more vigor.

“I knew that would cheer my grumpy baby up! Be good boy now and watch TV. Mommy has to go talk with Sissy for a minute.”

Go ahead and talk with her, you hateful bitch! Dad will fix this. Dad’s almost seven feet tall! Maybe he’ll spank you and Sissy and put you in diapers for being so mean to me! The thought was delightful, but it led to a much less happy thought. Why did my damn sister have to take after Dad’s side of the family while I took after Grandpa? Sis… Maggie was a few inches taller than Mom, nearly six feet already at age 16. My grandad was a shrimp at five-two. And here I was, four-foot-four, sitting on the couch in in a big, thick,purple diaper. It wasn’t even a cool purple like Caius the Shadow Monarch, it was a girly purple, like that faggy My Little Pony Starsong.

The doorbell rang and interrupted my brooding. “Go get the pizza Jay-Jay, it’s already paid for!” Mom called from down the hall.

I was incredulous. “I don’t have any pants on, Mom…mee!” I wasn’t moving from that spot if I could help it!

The two women appeared in the kitchen. “Oh for heaven’s sake. Maggie, go get the door before the pizza man leaves. I’ll set the table.”

Maggie brushed past, stopping to pat me on the head, and I scowled at her. I heard the door open, and she said, “Hi, come on in, right through here.” My face went beet red. She led him right past me,chattering away. “Don’t mind my little brother, he’s pouting because he got in trouble today.” The pizza man, well,teenager, caught a look at me and stifled a laugh.

“Oh my god,like, how old is he?”

“Twelve,” Maggie said. “In middle school and still peeing his pants, can you believe it?” Her cheerful tone grated me, but I bit my lip and just glared.

“Oh stop, Maggie. Hey, thanks for bringing it in for us. Just set it on the counter there. Here’s a little extra tip for you.” Mom tucked him a few bills after he set the two pizzas down.

“Thanks ma’am!”

“Hey, be safe out there.”

Pizza man came brushing by me, Maggie at his side. “I will ma’am.” He looked at me again. “Nice underwear, dude! That’ll get you all the girls at school for sure!” They both laughed as she walked him back to the foyer and out the door, while I just boiled.

“Are you gonna come eat, Jay-Jay, or sit there and pout?” Mom called from the kitchen.

I got up silently,well, other than my underwear rustling, and started toward the breakfast bar, but before I reached my chair, I was lifted up from behind under my arms and deposited in it unceremoniously. “Up you go, baby!” said Maggie.

“Cut it out,Maggie!” Spanking or not, I was about to lose it on her stupidass again.

“Stop it,Jay-Jay, your Sissy was just being helpful! Now say thank you.”

My mouth dropped,and I gritted my teeth. I glared at Maggie. “Thank you Ma…Sissy.”

“For what?” Mom’s hands were on her hips.

“Thank you for helping me up… Sissy.”

“You’re welcome, wittle buddy!” Maggie pinched my cheek again as she sat down next to me. I looked at our place settings. Mom somehow managed to dig up one of Maggie’s old lidded cups with the crazy straw in it. It was the same faggy purple as my… I mean this stupid diaper Mom put on me, and had My Little Ponies all over it. At least it still had Coke in it, or at least that’s what it looked like.

Mom piled slices onto each of our plates and passed them back to us. She got thin crust again. I hated thin crust. I liked the deep dish pizza,but the two of them were just all about those pieces of tasteless cardboard with sauce and cheese on them. And it was chicken and artichokes and mushrooms! Gross! Mom even ruined the food tonight! Mom and Maggie started eating immediately, while I took a drink from the stupid faggy pony cup and stared at my plate.

“What’s wrong,Jay-Jay?” Mom asked. “Oh never mind, how silly of me.” She pulled my plate away, reaching into the silverware drawer. She pulled out a knife and fork and began… cutting up my pizza into little squares. Maggie nearly choked on her mouthful as she started laughing. Mom slid the plate back over to me. “There you go,sweetie! Can you eat your own pizza like a big boy now, or do you need Maggie to help?”

That got me moving. I grabbed a square and shoved it into my mouth as Maggie leered at me. It tasted disgusting. I had to stifle a gag, and now I had sauce and grease all over my fingers. I managed to choke it down and chased it with a sip of soda. Stupid cup or not, it was still Coke. I repeated the process a few more times, but I ran out of soda long before I ran out of pizza. I couldn’t gag my way through all the little pieces I still had on my plate without something, so I swallowed my pride. “Mommy, can… may I have more Coke please?”

“Well look at that! He can be a polite little boy when he wants to! Of course, Jay-Jay!” Mom seemed genuinely pleased with my behavior for once. For once in my whole damn life. The most humiliating, miserable moment in my life, and now she’s finally happy. Go figure. I gnawed on a piece of dry crust while I watched her refill my cup and screw the lid back on.

“Thank you, Mommy.” What choice did I have? I could either pretend to be nice while I waited for Dad to get me out of this mess, or they’d just keep torturing me. I went back to work slowly on the horrible pizza, my hands steadily becoming a mess. I thoughtlessly wiped them on my shirt, and Mom gasped as she popped up out of her seat.

“Oh for heaven’s sake!” I cringed as she slipped past Maggie and grabbed the hem of my t-shirt. “I guess we needed help after all, didn’t we?” She forced it up over my head then used it to wipe off my hands.

“Mommy, I…”

“I know, I know, little boys are just such messy eaters when left to themselves,aren’t they?” She pushed my chair closer to Maggie’s and moved my plate and cup out my reach, handing my sister a fork. “Help him finish up his supper for me, would you?”

“Of course, Mom.” Maggie grinned. I raged.

"I wouldn’t have made a mess if you hadn’t cut it into little pieces like that!"I yelled, tears filling my eyes again.

“Oh, is that why you wiped it all over your shirt instead of asking for a napkin like a big boy?” Mom’s counter was bulletproof. Not that it mattered. Sitting here, naked but for a diaper, crying like a little girl, nothing I said would sound like anything but a tantrum. “Now eat your supper like a good boy. Any more fussing and you’re going straight to bed when you’re done, you hear me?”

“Yes Mommy.”

Maggie grinned broadly as she took the last bite of her own pizza. She speared a square with the fork and brought it toward my face. “Here comes the airplane!” she giggled. I opened my mouth, but she still managed to smear my cheek with it before putting it in.

I needed a drink,but Maggie wasn’t about to give me a chance. The second I swallowed,she had another piece waiting. “May I… mmph!” Now I had sauce on both cheeks, I could feel it. I tried to ask for a drink after that piece, but Maggie wasn’t having it. Over and over again she poked the little squares at me, and I choked them down, the nasty, briny artichokes and the slimy mushrooms and that disgusting, mushy chicken, all of those horrible flavors accumulating in my mouth.

She finally shoved the last one in there. “What a good boy!” she declared. “Look Mommy, Jay-Jay ate it allllll up! Now he can have his wittle drinky-poo!” She slid the cup over in front of me, and I grabbed it and drank greedily. To hell with her teasing, I needed to get that awful taste out of my mouth as quickly as I could.

“Why yes he did, but did he get as much in his mouth as he got on his face?” Mom grabbed a rag, wet it in the sink, and walked around the island as I slurped the last of the Coke. As soon as I pulled the straw away I got a face full of hot, damp cloth, with enough force to push me up against the back of the chair, my head tilting back. “Sit still, baby, Mommy needs to get you cleaned up.”

When she finished,I held the cup up. “More Coke please, Mommy?” I was getting tired of the politeness, but it seemed the only way to get anywhere with these two maniacs.

“Of course,sweetie! Maggie, go ahead and clear the table for me.” She filled my cup back up again as Maggie stood and gathered up the dishes. “Here you go, Jay-Jay. You can go sit on the floor and watch TV now if you want.” She handed me the cup and I wasted no time bailing off that chair before Maggie had a chance to snatch me up again. As I waddled over toward the couch, Mom called out,“What do we say, Jay-Jay?”

“Thank you Mommy!” Yep, definitely sick of this already. Not as sick of the crinkling between my legs, though, especially since that was all the clothing I had on now. I sat down on the couch, greedily slurping up the cool, sweet soda.

“I said floor, Jay-Jay. No drinks on Mommy’s couch, you know better!” Ugh. I slumped down in front of the couch with a crinkle. The TV was still locked on PBS, but at least all the stupid baby shows were over now. It was some science show talking about planets or something, and I tried to follow along while I sipped on my drink.

A few minutes later, Mom walked by. “Mommy’s going to take herself a shower and relax now, do you think you can be a good boy for Sissy for alittle while? You had a tough time being good last time she was in charge.”

“I’ll be good,Mommy.” I was getting exasperated, and I just wanted to be left alone for a while.

“Well last time he wasn’t wearing his pretty new diapees. I bet he’s much happier now, all dry and comfy and pretty!” Maggie offered.

“I hope so. Mommy’s had enough trouble out of you for one day.”

“I’m sure he’ll be just a perfect wittle angel, won’t you, baby?” I just glared at her. Mom laughed as she walked up the stairs. I locked my eyes back on the TV and resumed sipping my Coke. How could this possibly get any worse?

The soda ran out, and I put the cup down next to me. Surprisingly, Maggie came right over and picked it up. “Want some more soda-pop, Jay-Jay?” That was weird.

“Yes please, S… Sissy.” I hated that word. I hated saying it,unless I was calling some punk at school that before I took his knees out. Still, I was kinda getting into this TV show, which made it easier to forget how utterly stupid I looked, so I wasn’t in the mood for another fight with her, especially since I clearly had no chance of winning as long as Mom was acting all weird. So if she wanted to serve me up Coke all night while I sat and watched TV, and all I had to do was say “please and thank you Sissy”, then so be it.

Halfway through cup number four, though, it seemed cup number one decided it wanted back out. “Mommy, I have to go to the bathroom!”

No answer from Mom. She must be still in the shower. Maggie was just sitting there, her elbow on the counter, grinning at me.

I didn’t like that look at all. “Sissy, I have to go to the bathroom.”

“You’re silly. Big boys go to the bathroom. Little boys go potty.”

I frowned. “Sissy,may I please go… potty?”

“Well sure. What are you waiting for?”

“Can you take this diaper off for me so I can go… potty?”

She laughed. “What do you think that diaper’s for, baby?”

I was furious. “No frickin’ way!” I took off running up the stairs, expecting Maggie to try and snatch me up again. She didn’t move. “Mom! Tell Maggie to let me go to the bathroom!” I yelled at the top of my lungs.

Mom stepped out of her bedroom in her bathrobe, her hair wrapped up in a towel, and stared at me as I reached the landing. “If I were going to let you use the potty like a big boy, don’t you think I would have given you a pull-up to wear?”

I was coming apart now, tears of frustration forming in my eyes. “Please, Mommy,don’t make me pee my pants!”

“I didn’t make you pee your pants the first time, little boy.”

"But…"The cold reality set in. She wasn’t budging on this. “How long do I have to wear these things?!”

“That dependson how well you behave yourself this weekend. Show me you’re ready to be a big boy and I’ll let you have pull-ups to wear during the daytime on Monday.”

“How am I supposed to do that?!” I was blubbering again, my words all mushing together.

“Well you were doing pretty well at the dinner table, being all nice and polite, but you’re throwing one hell of a tantrum right now, so I don’t know…”

The idea of spending the whole weekend pissing and shitting in diapers was bad enough, but the idea that I had to just sit there and take every little bit of abuse the two of them were dishing out made it all seem hopeless. I collapsed against the railing, sliding down to the floor with my knees up and my head in my arms sobbing.

“I think we’re just worn out from the tough day we had today.” Mom hoisted me up and wrapped one hand around my thighs and the other my back,carrying me awkwardly into my bedroom. “Let’s get the baby’s jammies on and have a little quiet time before beddy-bye.” She plunked herself down on my bed and held me tight against her, my head across her shoulder, rocking back and forth.

“But Mommy, it’s six thirty!”

“Well you’re just gonna have to settle your little self down if you want to stay up and wait for Daddy to call at eight. Can you do that?”

What choice did I have? If I didn’t get to talk to Dad, I had no chance of getting out of this! Come on, Jamie, get it together! Whether Mom and Maggie were treating me like a baby or not, sitting here on her lap blubbering was just proving the point! “Yes Mommy!” I willed myself to calm down, at least to sniffling and hiccups.

“That’s better. Let’s get our jammies on now, and then we can go back down and watch TV some more, okay?”

“Please can I just bring my PSP down with me, Mommy?”

“Yes, you can bring your PSP, as long as you behave yourself.”

“Mommy, why are you making me use the diapers?” My bladder reminded me of an inevitability I wasn’t ready to face. It was starting to hurt,and I figured I’d take one last shot at being spared this indignity.

“Because that’s what diapers are for, and you earned them with all your tantrums today. Understand?”

“Yes Mommy.”

“Don’t worry,sweetie, Mommy won’t make you sit in a yucky wet diaper. Did you already go pee?”

“No Mommy.”

“Well don’t try to hold it, you’ll just hurt yourself for nothing.”

Or maybe Dad will tell you to call this whole thing off. That’d be worth holding it.

I sat there limply and let her pull my old Yu-Gi-Oh pajama top over my head. Caius. Purple. So it actually matched the diaper. And short, so it showed it off too, barely covering the waistband. “Okay, get your PSP, sweetie.” She nudged me off her lap.

“No bottoms?!” I pouted.

“You’ve worn a shirt and boxers around the house when it was this hot outside. I don’t see any difference.”

Well I fucking do. No,I wasn’t going to let myself get worked up again. I swallowed the indignity and grabbed my game and a couple of cartridges off my dresser.

“Good boy. Goon downstairs, Mommy will be down as soon as she gets her jammies on,okay?”

“Yes Mommy.” Do your “jammies” include a diaper too? They should, you hateful bitch! I trudged downstairs, rustling the whole way, while Mom went back to her bedroom and closed the door.

Maggie was waiting for me, sitting right where she was, in the same exact position as when I ran up the stairs. “Look at cute little Jay-Jay in his purple PJ’s. Did we go pee-pee already?”

“No.” I had my game, I could block her out. I flopped onto the couch and started up Tag Force 5, ignoring the cramping in my bladder.

“Maybe some more Coke would help. Jay-Jay want some more soda-pop?” she offered.

“No thank you,Sissy.” I had to keep my cool.

“Suit yourself.” I could feel her staring at me. Like she was just waiting for it. What the hell was the fascination? It’s not like she hadn’t already seen me piss myself that day.

Barely a few minutes had gone by, and I couldn’t even concentrate on my game for the cramps. I gritted my teeth. Maggie was still staring. I closed my eyes and tried to let loose, but I couldn’t. It was locked up down there! I huffed in frustration, trying to push. Nothing happened. Maybe Maggie was right, a drink might help. I looked up at the smug bitch, and steeled myself.

“Sissy, can I have some Coke please?”

“No more caffeine tonight. He can have water or milk, Maggie.” Mom appeared at the railing and made her way down the stairs. “You’ve got a little more than an hour before bed, we don’t need you all hopped up to where you can’t get to sleep.”

“But Mom…mee! Eight o’clock on a Friday?!”

“You’re lucky it isn’t earlier than that with how you’ve behaved today.”


“Any more ‘buts’ and you can go to bed now.”

“Yes Mommy.” Ugh. I hadn’t been in bed earlier than ten o’clock since I was in 3[SUP]rd[/SUP] grade, certainly not on a weekend. “If I’m good tomorrow, do I get to stay up later?”

“We’ll see. We already know what happens if you’re not good tomorrow, don’t we?”

“Yes Mommy.”

Maggie interrupted the revelry with the lidded cup. “Here ya go, buddy! Some nice cold water for you!”

I stood up and took it, before Mom had a chance to bitch about the furniture. “Thankyou… Sissy.” This was so depressing. I started pulling on the straw. Every time I swallowed, my bladder cramped back at me angrily. Just… let… go… I kept forcing it down,wincing, just praying for relief. Just as I slurped the last of it,the dam broke open. I was too busy being relieved to care about how humiliating the act was. This was quite literally the most amazing piss I’d ever taken in my life; all those cramps loosening up felt so good, and the flood just coming and coming, with no letup. I could feel the diaper getting heavy, sagging between my legs, but it didn’t stop. Maggie was grinning ear to ear as she stared, while Mom looked worried for some reason.

Then I realized why. A trickle down my leg. Then another, on the other side. I tried to clench, tried to stop peeing, but I couldn’t. “Jesus christ! Get the towel and the changing supplies, Maggie, quick! Aren’t you done yet Jamie?!”

I shook my head,blushing, trying not to cry again as the feeling of shame overwhelmed the relief. By the time Maggie got there, I was done, but there was a small puddle between my feet, and little rivulets of pee still running down my legs. I was biting my lip as hard as I could as Mom fussed over me, desperately trying to hold back the tears as the lump swelled back up in my throat. “Jesus, Maggie, we’re gonna have to call around tomorrow and see if there’s anything better than this available. That worthless bastard at the drug store said these were the best kid-size diapers they had!” She pulled me down onto the towel and tore the tapes loose. I covered my face and lay there,limp as a ragdoll while the whole ordeal from earlier played itself out again, my legs being wiped up and down, my sister snickering. The powder, another diaper, the tapes cinching up. Much tighter this time, I could tell. Except it wasn’t over…

It felt like Mom was dragging her finger across the diaper between my legs, quick little slashes. What the hell was she doing? Suddenly my butt wasup in the air again, and I realized she was taping ANOTHER diaper on. “Mom what are you doing?!”

“Sorry, baby, but until Mommy finds some better diapers, we can’t be having you making puddles all over the place like that!”

"But…"I was incredulous. Why not just call the whole stupid thing off and let me go to the bathroom like a normal fucking twelve-year-old?! Instead, here I was with my legs spread so far apart I wondered if I could walk at all. Maggie fled down the hall, but I could hear her laughing from here. Mom sat me up, and I just looked at her, dumbfounded, my legs split in a wide-open “V”. And now even she was stifling a laugh.

“Aw, it’s okay, Jay-Jay. It’s just for a little while. Mommy get you some better diapers tomorrow, and Sissy will help find them, right Sissy?”

“Wha… I mean… Okay Mom. What do you need me to do?”

“Get on the computer and check around to some of the local medical places, see what they offer, and figure out which ones are the most absorbent. I don’t care what they cost, just find the best ones out there.”

“Um… Okay, sure Mom!” She disappeared up the steps, while Mom stood up.

“Climb up on the couch for me, Jay-Jay, and play your little game for a while,okay? Mommy’s got a mess to clean up here, and your father will be calling pretty soon.”

I looked between my legs, then back at her. She’ll make me go to bed now if I cry. Don’t fucking cry! Don’t do it! My lip trembled, but I swallowed hard and struggled to my feet. So much plastic, pushing my thighs apart. I stepped off the towel, wobbling a bit, and plunked myself back on the couch. I still couldn’t close my legs. I couldn’t even forget this damn thing was on me, no matter how much I wanted to.

And I began to brood. Why was this happening to me? I mean, come on, I wasn’t the first kid to ever get into a fight at school. And it wasn’t even my damn fault! I clung to the phone call that was coming. Dad would call, and I’d explain it all to him, and he’d tell Mom to take these stupid diapers off me and let me go back to being a normal 12-year-old boy. I looked at the clock on the wall; 20 minutes. I could fight it until then, I could just shut up and play my game and ignore the giant plastic pillow that was lifting my butt off the couch and splaying my legs out like I was in a yoga class. I could do that. I could pretend I wasn’t aware that I was wearing a great big girly baby diaper that just happened to match what used to be my favorite pajama top, the one I’d never, ever, ever wear again after this. That I looked like a big sissy baby in this huge puffy purple thing. Nope, I could keep that thought right away. Okay, so maybe I couldn’t, but I wasn’t going to cry about it. I was done crying tonight. Crying was for sissy babies… that wore big puffy purple diapers instead of pants or shorts. And peed in them so much that they had to wear two at a time so they wouldn’t leak. Just…like… me…

“It’s alright,baby.” Mom sat down on the couch and put her arm around me. “No need to cry. Mommy said she’d fix it, didn’t she?” I didn’t say anything, just sat there and whimpered, staring at my game. “Come on, sweetie, let’s get you tucked into bed.”

“You said eight o’clock!” I was practically squeaking. Which made it all worse. Now I sounded like a big sissy girly baby too. In a big puffy purple diaper. Two of them, actually.

“I said your dad would call at eight o’clock, and considering the shape you’re in right now, it’s going to take me that long to get you settled down enough to talk to him.” She took the PSP out of my hands, and I didn’t even try to stop her.

She pulled me up,back onto my wobbly legs, and started to lead me by the hand toward the stairs. I staggered, the waddle throwing my balance off. She kept going. I fell to my knees. “I can’t walk in this stupid thing!”

“Oh good god, Sissy better find those new diapers for you quick, I don’t know how many times I can carry you up and down the stairs, baby. C’mon, up we come.” She scooped me back up into that awkward cradle position and trudged up the stairs. “You were much littler the last time I had to do this, Jay-Jay.”

We reached the top of the stairs just in time for Maggie to surface from her room. She grinned broadly, and I hid my face in Mom’s shirt. “Awwww… Hey, you got a minute Mom?”

“Let me get him to bed and let him talk to his dad for a few minutes, then we’ll talk.”

“Okay, just knock then. Night night wittle buddy!” I whimpered back at her.

“Enough,Maggie. I’m trying to settle him down. Hopefully tomorrow will be better, huh Jay-Jay?”

Mom pulled the blankets back, laid me gently into the bed, pulled the sheet over me,and tucked it in, something she hadn’t done since I was like five. Then she did something else she hadn’t done since then; she grabbed a tissue from my dresser and stuck it up against my nose. “Blow, sweetie.”

“Really Mom?” I sniffled, reaching for the paper.

She swatted my hand away. “Blow.”

I blew. She got up and threw it in the trash can on the other side of the room. “See,now what were you going to do with it if you did it yourself? Hide it under your sheet?”

Before I could answer, Mom’s phone rang. Finally, this had to be Dad. She fished it out of the pocket of her nightgown and slid it open. “Hey honey, how are you? Oh, yeah, it’s been a long day here too. Yeah, he’s right here, he’s been waiting all night to talk to you. Sure, I’ll put him on.”

She handed me the phone. “Dad! I need to…”

“You be quiet and listen to me, little man.” I gasped a little. That was not the response I expected. “Your mom already told me everything. And you deserve every bit of what you got today and more, you hear me?”

“Yes Dad…” How could I have been so stupid? Of course she got to him first! My life was now officially over.

“The hell’s wrong with you, disrespecting your mother and your sister like that?!”

“I… I’m sorry Dad.” Mom was standing over me now, arms folded, nodding.

“Now you listen here, boy. Whatever your mom and Maggie tell you to do, you’d better damn well toe the line, because when we get together at the new beach house, I’m gonna bring hell down on you if I find out you’ve been fighting them this whole time. Are we clear?”


“Now I hate being gone like this all the time, and I know you hate it too, but you’ve got to start acting like a grown-ass young man. You’re too old for all this foolishness. You wouldn’t be doing it if I was there, would you?”


“Then don’t do it when I’m gone. I miss you a whole lot, Jamie, and I want to be happy to see you next month, not having to come down on you all hard like this. I love you, son.”

“I love you too, Dad.”

“Now give me back to your mom.”

“Bye Dad.” I was crestfallen when I handed her back the phone. Not only did Dad not get me out of this, he made me feel like I deserved it. And that was worse than anything that had happened today. I rolled over and faced the wall as Mom stepped out of the bedroom, closing the door and flipping the light off behind her as she chatted with him. In the darkness, I strained to hear the conversation, but I couldn’t. She didn’t sound mad; maybe she was just talking, instead of talking about me. The bulk splitting my legs apart was getting really uncomfortable as I lay on my side, so I flopped back over onto my back. I heard Mom knock on Maggie’s door, and the two of them started talking as well, but it was just voices, nothing distinct. I’m sure whatever Maggie had found would suck, but it couldn’t possibly suck as bad as the big puffy balloon I was wearing right now. I don’t know why my eyes started getting heavy, but as much as I tried to fight it, tried to hear what they were saying, tried to get some inkling of the plans for the next day, it all faded off into the darkness, and I fell into a fitful sleep.

My eyes flew open with the sunlight through the window. What an awful dream that was! I started to sit up, and then I heard the crinkle. It wasn’t a dream at all. The bulk was still very much pressing my legs apart. I reached a hand under the sheet and felt the smooth plastic. This was really happening. I was about to spend two whole days in diapers, not allowed to use the bathroom. The weight of it dropped me right back to the pillow. I no longer wanted to get up. I didn’t want to do anything but lay here and wait to die.

Sadly, Mom fixed that problem for me, by walking through the door. “Good morning Jay- Jay! I was hoping you’d wake up before Mommy left so I could talk to you a little bit.” She sat down on the edge of the bed. “Are you wet, sweetie? Do you need a diaper change before I go?” She lifted the sheet. “Still dry, okay.”

“I could have told you that if you let me, Mommy.” Truth was, it was hot and clammy in there, even though I knew my bladder was full.

“Never mind that. Sissy will change you later, then, and get you dressed. Now we found some nice new diapers for you, and she’s going to call the place as soon as they open to see about getting a courier to deliver them, so you won’t need to be carried around very much longer, okay?” As if on cue, she scooped me up out of the bed. “Let’s get you downstairs and have breakfast, and Sissy will change you as soon as you’re done your morning pee. Now I’m gonna be gone probably until around four or five for this open house, so I need you to be a very, very good boy and do everything Sissy tells you, okay?”

“Yes Mommy.” The feeling of dread fell over me as the idea of nine hours alone in the house with my sister controlling every aspect of my existence sank in.

“That’s a good boy.” She patted me on the bottom, which I barely felt through all the padding, and slid me into a chair at the island in the kitchen. “Sissy!” she shouted. “Where are you? I gotta get going!”

“I’m in the bathroom, Mom! I’ll be out in a minute!” Maggie sounded tired and grouchy, not a good combination at all. It was eight in the morning, and she never got up before ten on the weekends.

“Oh for heaven’s sake.” Mom poured some orange juice into that crazy-straw cup and set it in front of me, then drained her coffee. “Mommy’s gotta go, honey. Have a good day, okay?” She kissed me on the cheek and gave me a squeeze, then dashed off. I didn’t bother answering her. Have a good day in a diaper with my obviously crabby sister who took such joy in torturing me yesterday. Sure. That’s gonna happen. I put my head down on the countertop and just waited.

“Oh look, the baby’s up.” Maggie’s voice behind me took me by surprise. At least she wasn’t all fake-bubbly like last night. She came around into my view, and she looked like hell. I mean, not that I thought my sister was pretty or anything. She grabbed a box of cereal out of the cabinet and poured some into a bowl, not even bothering to close the box as she slammed it onto the counter and opened the fridge. She grabbed the milk and poured it into the bowl, being a little more careful setting it down. She took a spoon out of the drawer and sat down next to me at the island.

“Open,” she said, bringing a spoonful of cereal and milk to my lips.

“I…” I started, but she shoved it in.

“If it weren’t for you being a little brat yesterday, I’d be sleeping right now, not caring what you were doing. Because of you, I had to drag my ass out of bed at a quarter to eight. So you’re going to shut your stupid little mouth except when I tell you to open it today, or I’m going to make your life a living hell. You get my drift?”

I swallowed the cereal. “Y…yes Sissy.”

“Good. Open.”

And so I let her feed me, and she drank coffee while I chewed. And no one spoke. Which made what happened about halfway through the bowl that much more obvious. The hiss coming from my diaper area was loud enough to where she even paused her mechanical feeding to wait for it to be done. Which, of course, made what I was doing that much more embarrassing.

The balloon was actually a little painful now, pressing my legs so far apart that I had to nearly straddle the chair. Timidly, I spoke up, “Sissy,please…”

Another spoon cut me off. “I’ll change your damn diaper when I’m good and ready,and damn sure not before you finish your fucking breakfast.”

Silence. Other than me eating. And the diaper rustling as I squirmed around to try and find a comfortable spot in the chair with all that swollen padding under me. She fed me the last spoon and said, “Drink your fucking juice, baby.”

She poured herself another cup of coffee, and I slurped that juice down as fast as I could. I wanted out of that damn diaper. She sat back down as I finished.

“I’m done, Sissy.”

“Fine. Go watch fucking TV.”

I was desperate. “But what about my diaper?!” I couldn’t believe I actually said that. “My diaper”.

“Fine. Go on upstairs,” she said, taking a sip of her coffee. “When I’m done, I’ll come change your diaper and get you dressed.”

My jaw dropped. “But…”

“Or you can sit there in your pissy diaper all day, I don’t care. You want your diaper changed, you’re going to get your ass up those stairs and wait for me in your bedroom.”

She wasn’t budging. I slipped off the chair and onto my wobbly legs… and went straight down on the first step. “I can’t walk like this, Sissy!” I flopped over onto my backside and stared at her.

“Then fucking crawl. You’re a baby. That’s what babies do.”

“Maggie, come the fuck on!”

She scowled at me and picked up her phone. “Fine. Lay there and cry about it then, baby!”

“Shut up you big bully fucking bitch!” Her thumbs moved faster, then she set the phone down.

My eyes got big as she stood up, towering over me as I sat there, trying to crab-walk away from her. She reached down and grabbed my arm. "OW!"Her grip was like iron, and she jerked me to my feet. Rip, rip, rip, the outer diaper fell off me, then the inner one, much heavier. She sprawled me across the seat of one of the bar stools, and down came the spoon, again and again and again. She hit me methodically, first the fat part of my butt on one side, then the other, then one upper thigh, then the other. Never the same place twice in a row, and god did it hurt. I went from angry teenager to whining kindergartner, but she kept right on going. I howled in pain, promising and begging and pleading, kicking my legs in the air, but she still didn’t stop. Then I went limp, huge, wracking sobs making my entire body shudder. Finally, the spoon stopped, and I heard her put it down on the counter. “You ain’t seen bully bitch out of me yet, you pissy-pants little brat.” She pulled my shirt down over my snot-and-tear-covered face and threw it on the floor with the diapers. “If you so much as roll over before I get back, we’re gonna go another round!”

Down the hallway she went, and back she came with the changing supplies. She spread a towel on the floor in the living room. “On the towel, face down, baby.”

I walked over on wobbly legs, my backside on fire like it had never been before. Her phone vibrated on the counter behind me, but she ignored it. I laid down on my stomach. “One of these days,” she said as she pumped what looked like hand lotion into her palm, “you’re gonna learn when to keep your damn little mouth shut. All you had to do was wait for me to finish my coffee, and I would have changed your little diaper, and put a nice clean t-shirt on you, and I probably would have let you sit on the couch and play your little video game or maybe watch some big-boy cartoons or something.” She started rubbing the cream into my quivering backside. Her touch stung, but the cream felt cool, soothing. “But no, you had to go and call me a bitch. And where did it get you, huh? Nowhere, that’s where. It got your ass beat, is what it got you. And it put your sister in a shitty mood, which means all the nice things she was going to try to do for little baby Jamie this morning to make it a little easier went right out the goddamn window.” She wiped her hands off with one of the wipes, then covered my as with a mountain of baby powder. She spread a diaper on the floor next to me and said, “Roll over, baby.” I rolled, and it hurt when I landed, but not as much as yesterday after Mom worked me over. She wiped me down with a baby wipe in the front, covered me with another pile of powder, and sealed me up. She picked up a small kitchen knife, and I finally saw what Mom had done the night before. She cut slits in the bottom of the diaper, then lifted me up and added a second one.

“Scoot your ass off the towel and sit still.” I scooted, and she gathered everything back up and stood. “Do not move. I’ll be right back.” Down the hall she went. And I waited, sulking and sniffling. No PSP. Nothing good to watch on TV. This was really,really going to suck. I heard a door open, and her heavy footsteps on stairs. What the hell was she doing in the basement?! How long was I supposed to just sit here and stare at the fucking wall?

After what seemed like an eternity, even though only 15 minutes had passed by the clock on the wall – I think it was lying to me – I heard her footsteps coming back up the basement stairs, with a whole lot of jostling and grunting to go with them. She shuffled down the hall, and my eyes bulged when I saw what was in her hands!

“No! No fucking way!” I started to scuffle backwards, toward the stairs.

“I told you not to move!” she shouted as she unfolded the huge playpen and slammed it on the floor in the middle of the living room.

“You’re not putting me in that fucking thing Maggie!”

“What are you gonna do, crawl next door with just your little diaper on and tell Mrs. Farnsworth on me? I’m sure her three daughters would just love to see that!” She stormed toward me, and I panicked, flopping over and crawling as fast as I could. If I could just reach…

Her powerful arm wrapped around my waist right before my hand got to the railing. “No!” I screamed, kicking and flailing helplessly. “Put me down, you crazy bitch! Put me down!” She dropped me into the playpen, and I bounced right back to my feet. This thing was bigger than I remembered, the bar reaching all the way to my stomach.

“If you climb out of there, this is next!” She glowered at me, a leash in her hand.

“What are you gonna do, walk me around like a fucking dog?!” I stretched my leg up, but my foot came just short of the bar. Just a little further! Come on!

And then my foot was in her hand, and with a push, my backside was on the mattress. “No, I’m going to do this.” She cinched the leash down onto my ankle, poked a hole in the netting near the bottom, and pulled it through, wrapping it around the leg of the playpen outside,out of reach. “Now, go ahead and call me a bitch again, you little creep.” She walked over to the counter and grabbed her phone, swiping the screen and typing furiously.

“Fuck you,bitch! Beat me all you want! I don’t fucking care anymore! Do you hear me, you fucking cunt?! Do your worst!”

“Now I’m a cunt too, huh?” she muttered, still staring at her phone. I started wrestling with the buckle on the leash around my ankle, but she ignored me.

She finished typing and stood up. “By the way, this was what Mom sent back this morning after I told her you called me a bitch again.” She turned the phone toward me and shoved it right in my face.

“Well, he just bought himself two more days in diapers. And tell him if he calls you that again, he won’t see those pull-ups until school is out!”

I went cold. Maggie’s reply, which she obviously just typed, sat there directly underneath. “Now I’m a bitch AND a cunt, apparently.”

She turned the screen around and grinned at me. “Hope you like pissing and shitting in your pants, you little rodent!”

The phone vibrated. She laughed and typed some more. I forgot all about the leash and squirmed into the corner of the playpen, recoiling at what I’d just seen. Two more weeks of this?

Her phone rang. “Hi Mom! Sure, he’s right here, just a second!” I looked at that phone like it was made of poison cancer virus, cringing as Maggie brought it over and handed it to me. Timidly I reached out and took it.


"You shut up and listen, you disrespectful little bastard. I don’t want to hear a word out of your foul little mouth until I get home. I raised you better than to say such filthy things to anybody, never mind your own family!

“Now, when I get home this evening, I am going to feed you supper, spank the living daylights out of your bratty little ass, and put you to bed. But here’s what I’m not going to do. I’m not going to tell your father about this. But if you don’t do exactly as Maggie and I tell you to do from now until we leave for the beach house, he’s going to hear about all of it. And I don’t think I need to tell you what your father will do if he finds out you used the C-word on your sister.”

I gulped, but stayed silent. Truth be told, I couldn’t imagine what Dad would do,but I damned sure didn’t want to find out.

“Now, put me on speakerphone.”

I pressed the speaker button with a trembling finger.

“Maggie, can you hear me?”

“Yeah, Mom.”

“Did you order his new diapers?”

“Yeah, a full case, like you asked.”

“Are they bringing them today?”

“Should be around lunchtime.”

“Oh good. Make sure you tip the driver, and go ahead and order two more cases, since your baby brother decided he’d rather start his potty training at the beach this summer.”

But the beach trip was a month from now! The tears came rushing back again, and I couldn’t stop them if I wanted to. I held the phone up weakly with the one hand, and buried my face in the other. Four weeks of diapers.

“Okay… I will… anything else?”

“Yeah. After you feed him lunch, change his diapers and put him down for a nap, whether the delivery is there or not. Only an hour or so, though,because he won’t sleep tonight otherwise. And he can stay in the playpen the rest of the time. I’m pretty sure there are some boxes of yours and his old baby stuff right near where you found that crib, it’s probably marked yard sale. Use whatever you can find, just make sure you wash it thoroughly. Until little Jay-Jay learns to stop having tantrums, he’s going to be treated exactly how old he’s acting.”

“Got it, Mom. I saw that box down there along with some old videos I was going to bring up for him to watch. What do you want me to fix for dinner?”

“I’ll text you about that later. I can already hear him bawling. I gotta go. Love you both!”

The phone went dead, and Maggie was right there to snatch it. “There you go,little buddy. I did my worst. You wanna try it again?”


“You gonna stay in that playpen while I’m downstairs?”


“Good. 'Cause I’m pretty sure Mom won’t hesitate to extend your little punishment out through the beach trip too.”

I shuddered at the thought. Her footfalls led back down the hall, down to the basement,to bring my doom back up with her. I finally went too far, and now my life was over.

It was all of quarter after ten when Maggie finished this horrible,awful treasure hunt of hers. Stuffed animals of various shapes and sizes now covered the floor of the playpen. The dishwasher hummed away, full of baby bottles, toddler plates, and pacifiers, though she took the trouble to hand wash a white pacifier with a purple and pink butterfly on it and stuff it into my mouth. “Matches your pretty diapers!” she said. Well, it certainly did that, for a variety of reasons. She even found a box of old DVD’s down there. I thought for sure she’d torture me with Teletubbies and Barney and all that crap, but her old Sailor Moon collection was hardly an improvement.

Still, it gave me a distraction from the much bigger problem I had, that of a growing pressure in my gut, moving downward. I knew I could hold it,probably all day if I had to, but that wasn’t going to make it go away. But for now, I just wasn’t ready for this. So I watched prissy teenage girls dance around and do weird teenage girly superhero stuff, and I gnawed on the silicone nipple, and I did my best to ignore it.

The dishwasher finished its cycle, and Maggie got up to empty it. I couldn’t see what she was doing from my position, between the high bar of the playpen and the counter itself, but she spent a long time fidgeting with something over there, and I started to get suspicious. Finally she took something over to the fridge and began filling it with water from the built-in dispenser. In my gut, I knew, and she confirmed my suspicions rather quickly as she screwed a nipple onto a bottle and brought it over. “You looked thirsty, baby boy. Sissy brought you some nice cold water to drink.” She leaned into the playpen and held it out to me. I didn’t move. “If you drink it all up, Sissy will let you have a sippy cup with your lunch instead of another bottle.”

I had to admit, after all the crying and screaming and yelling I’d done that morning,a little cold water would be nice. I took it and spit out the pacifier. What difference did it make? Either way I had a nipple in my mouth. At least I was getting something out of this one. She sat down on the couch and stared at me, grinning. One way or another she was going to wind up humiliating me, might as well get it over with. I put it in my mouth and tilted my head back. To my surprise, it started dribbling almost immediately, before I had a chance to do anything with it. I sucked, and got a lot more than I was expecting;I nearly choked on that first gulp! She must have done something to the nipple! I looked up; she was sitting there with her hand over her mouth, stifling her laughter, staring at me intently. I scowled back at her and tipped it up again, sucking hard, determined to empty it as fast as possible. Eight ounces of ice cold water doesn’t seem like a lot, until you’re trying to suck it down through a nipple. I had to stop for a breath once, but I finished it in less than a minute and tossed it aside.

“What a thirsty baby! Does Jay-Jay want some more?” She was openly giggling now, not even trying to hide it.


“Where’s your binky, baby? Find your binky!”

Ugh. I looked around in the mass of soft toys between my sprawled legs and located the pacifier, brushing it off and putting it back in my mouth. “What a good baby you are! Let’s put another video on for you before lunch!”

I looked at the clock; it was just eleven now. Maggie said the new diapers would get here around lunchtime. Maybe I could talk her into letting me use the toilet when they got here. I could hold out until then.

Miserable though it was, the courier finally showed up 45 minutes later. And thankfully,either Maggie wasn’t inspired to invite him in or he didn’t have time. Either way, he didn’t see me. What really creeped me out was the massive grin plastered across Maggie’s face as she carried the huge box in from the foyer and plunked it down next to the couch.

“So, do we need a diaper change, baby boy, or are we good right now?”

This was my chance. I took the pacifier out and said, “Well, no, but I really have to poop. Could you…”

“Oh wait, you called me a cunt and a bitch, and now you want me to do favors for you?” Dammit.

“Please, Ma…Sissy, just this once. I’m sorry I said all that horrible stuff to you.”

“And you even took your binky out without my permission?”

Ugh… I stuffed it back in. “Pleash Shishee! I’ll vee a good vayvee fro’ now on, I fromish!”

She laughed. “Tell you what, Jamie.” She took the pacifier out of my mouth. “Let’s talk business. I’ll let you go potty. In fact, I’ll even talk to Mom and make sure you get to go poopie on the potty all the time, but it’s gonna cost you.”

What could she possibly do worse than this? “Okay… what do I have to do?”

“I’ll show you after lunch. You want to go potty or not?”

I didn’t like this. But again, I was already sitting in a playpen in a diaper, and I’d already been made to drink out of a bottle, and be spoonfed. There couldn’t possibly be anything worse than this, other than…

“Wait, you’re not gonna make me go around outside dressed like this, are you?”

“No, no,nothing like that, silly baby!” She laughed. “So what’s it gonna be? You gonna give me a poopy diaper to change, or do you want to go potty like a big boy? Besides, I bet you’re sick of being all double-diapered like that, aren’t you? Don’t you wanna try on your new diapers?”

I sighed. “Okay,okay, deal.”

Her smile got even bigger as she tucked the pacifier back in and dropped the side of the playpen. “Always knew you were a smart little baby boy. Come on, I’ll take you to potty.” She reached down and unbuckled the leash. “If you promise not to try and climb out anymore, I won’t put that back on you this afternoon.”

“I frovish.”

She cackled. “So cute. Come on out, baby.” I got to my feet and held on to the rail as I wobbled out. She held my hand on the way to the bathroom,which I was grateful for, as much as the mass between my legs disrupted my balance. I could hardly wait to get changed into a single diaper again. She took me to the powder room and stripped the two diapers off me, then stepped out into the hall to let me do my business. “Come back out to the living room when you’re done,Jamie, I’m going to fix your lunch.”

I heard her walk away, and as I dropped the pacifier out of my mouth I resolved to take my sweet time, considering this would probably be the last time I’d see a toilet today. And so I did, sitting there naked, enjoying the air on my crotch, waiting for nature to take its course. I had a nice long pee as well, and I basked the satisfaction of completely voiding myself like the teenage boy I was supposed to be. I wasn’t looking forward to having another diaper put on me, but at least it’d be ONE diaper, so I’d be able to walk. As I wiped, I felt in fairly good spirits for the first time since Friday afternoon when the nightmare began. Whatever Maggie had in store for me as part of this bargain couldn’t be any worse than the morning I’d just had.

I walked out of the bathroom, naked as a jaybird. An empty mac and cheese box sat on the counter, and the noodles were boiling away in a pot on the stove. “Well it’s about time!” Maggie was sitting on the couch with something very big and very, very pink. “Come on over and get your diaper on!”

My heart sank. “Pink?! What the hell?!”

“Mom said to find the most absorbent diapers I could in your size. These are it, buddy. Rearz Princess, is what they call them. Now get over here so I can get back to fixing your lunch, baby.”

I trudged over, and she spread the thing out on a towel. It was much bigger than the Moldy-care or whatever those purple things were. I lay down on it,numb to the humiliation. What the hell kind of weirdos ran around in pink adult diapers with unicorns and princesses all over them? I stared at the bag sitting next to me as she powdered my front and rear. “Princess Pink by Rearz. Level 10 protection.” She pulled the front between my legs. Good god, this thing was big, and thick, and bulky! It rode all the way above my bellybutton, almost to my ribs! And my legs forced apart nearly as far as with the double diapers! This was hardly an improvement at all! As she pulled the tapes across my hips, then my stomach, she sat back and clapped her hands.

“That is SO adorable! Alright, get that pink little butt of yours back in your playpen while Sissy finishes making lunch.”

I lay there, arms crossed, glaring at her.

“Oh, okay, you need some help.” She walked over to the playpen and raised the bar, then I felt her arms underneath me, hoisting me up while I squirmed. She dumped me into the playpen. “There you go. Princess.”

“Shu’ Uff!”

“Hey, if you’re missing the purple ones so much, I bet I could put one on under your pretty pink one next time I change you!” She cackled as she stirred the pot. I stared at my crotch. I wanted to rip this thing off and throw it at her.

But I didn’t. I sat there and stewed, and I made her carry me over to the kitchen and plunk me in a chair. In front of me sat a plate of cut up hot dogs and a puddle of ketchup. Out of reach was a plate of macaroni and cheese, obviously made for a toddler, though there was a full size spoon in it. She took my pacifier out and said, “Eat up,princess!”

“Can I have a fork?”

“No. Forks are for big kids.”

“Fine.” I picked up a slice of hot dog, dunked it in the ketchup, and stuck it in my mouth, but not before a drop of ketchup hit my chest. I tasted it – she watered down the ketchup? What the hell?! Maggie watched intently as I worked my way through the slices as quickly as I could, dribbling ketchup-water all over myself. I put the last piece in my mouth, and she said, “Good job, baby! Let’s have some mac and cheese!” She overloaded every single spoonful, so I wound up with cheese and ketchup all over my face, and some of it even landed on my… the diaper in my lap.

When she finished,I glared at her. “Did you enjoy yourself? Was that fun for you?”

“Well I don’t know about me, but it sure looks like you had a good time, messy baby! Let’s get you cleaned up and get a nice bottle in you so you can go have a nappy-poo, okay?”

She pulled several wipes out of the container and nearly smothered me with them. “Nappy-poo? Really?”

“Mom said an hour nap. I figure you can go have a little snooze, then I’ll get you all nice and dressed and cleaned up for when she gets home, so maybe she’ll be happy to see you instead of ready to kill you like she was this morning.”

“Did you…Mmmph!” She shoved the bottle into my mouth before I could finish the sentence and held it there.

“Enough talking. Drink.”

I drank the bottle as quickly as possible, just to get it over with.

“Good.” She stuffed the pacifier back into my mouth. “Now march your crinkly little tushy upstairs and lie down. And if I catch you playing video games instead of laying there quietly, Mom will be the first to hear about it.”

“Fine.” I got up and waddled up to my bedroom while she stuck her nose back in her phone. Spending the day lazing around the house in just your underwear is a rare treat. Except when your underwear is disposable. And pink. And has unicorns and princesses and stars all over it. Oh, and your big sister is determined to torture you every second of the day.

I flopped out onto my bed and stared at the clock on my dresser, gnawing on the teat in my mouth. An hour. An entire hour to just lay here and do nothing. With a girly-ass diaper and a girly-ass pacifier to match. I was pretty sure I was going to die of boredom. One minute. Two minutes. Three minutes…

“Wake up sleepy baby!” My eyes flew open. The clock… what the hell? I actually fell asleep?

I sat up and rubbed my eyes. Maggie didn’t seem interested in waiting, so she grabbed my arm. “Hey!”

“Time to get dressed, pink bottom!”

“Wait, my clothes are in here!”

“Not anymore they aren’t. Time for your end of our deal…”

I had no time to think, I was just being dragged along straight into my sister’s room, confused and increasingly anxious. After she plunked me on the bed, she closed the door, and I died.

Well, I wished I’d died when I saw what was hanging on the back of the door, anyway. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I remembered that dress. Maggie wore it when we went to an Easter egg hunt. She was seven, I was almost four. It was solid pink, with a big rose right over the left chest and a little bow on the right hip.


“Nope. No arguing. This is our deal. You got to go poopie in the potty,instead of in your diaper, and I’ll make sure you continue to get to do so for as long as you’re wearing those cute little princess panties. But you’re gonna wear pretty little things that match those little princess panties, and Sissy’s gonna do up your hair and make you the prettiest little toddler girl on the block. And if you even think about trying to back out now, this goes on your SnapBook wall for all your friends to see.”

I gaped as she turned her phone around. She had the security camera going in the living room this morning! My mouth gaped as I watched myself pleading and begging and sobbing, bent over that chair while she whacked me with that horrible spoon.

“You wouldn’t!”

“Wanna bet?”

I sat there and shivered. That video would be the end of me at school. I hung my head; this was it. I should have seen it coming. First the purple diapers Mom bought, then these faggy girly printed ones Maggie picked out. All the baby stuff from downstairs all coming from Maggie’s boxes, not mine. I should have known her old clothes were down there too, and she was just waiting for the chance to make me wear them.

And that’s exactly what I did. She put that dress on me, and all I could do was whimper as the soft cloth draped over my chest. She pulled my scruffy hair into pigtails on either side of my head, clipping barrettes onto them to hold them in place. She even put blush on my damn cheeks. Then she stuck me in front of the full length mirror on her closet door so I could see just exactly how it all looked. Powder pink diaper sticking out under rose pink dress, with pink barrettes and a pink pacifier and rosy pink cheeks. All that was missing was ankle socks and pink shoes, and I’d be ready for the toddler beauty pageant. And this was what I had to look forward to for the next month…

And there I sat on the private beach in Old Orchard, in a pink sleeveless blouse with a ruffled hem, same pink diaper underneath, same pink pacifier in my mouth. I couldn’t believe how the whole situation had gone this far. I did everything I could for the entire month to stay out of trouble, and when we finally got to the beach house, Mom informed me that, since my behavior had improved so much since I’d been turned into a little girl, that she was going to keep me that way. And Dad even agreed. It spared my bottom a round under his belt, and that alone was worth it. He even had one of the rooms renovated into a full-blown oversized nursery, with a crib and a changing table. And it was all… pink.

My parents sat under an umbrella behind me, doing the “I missed you so much” thing, while I sat there with a plastic pail and bucket, digging in the sand, sucking my pacifier. I peed, and it didn’t even faze me. Heck, I barely noticed it. I wondered if I’d ever get potty trained in time for school. The way Mom and Dad were talking, they were going to send me to a private school - as an 8-year-old incontinent trans girl with an emotional disability. Well, I wouldn’t be the shortest kid in the class anymore. I’d still be the baby, though. Apparently that wasn’t going to change anytime soon. Mom had suggested going to the doctor and getting the puberty-stopper shots for me. I’d be expected to tell everyone I felt like a little girl inside. In this getup, I kinda did.

And in a way, I liked it. I liked being pretty, and I liked being fed and changed and dressed up like a little doll baby. I even had grown to like pooping and peeing in my pants whenever I felt like it and just doing whatever it was I was doing until someone decided to change me. It was fun being a baby girl. And if I had to go back to third grade to keep doing it, then welcome to third grade, Jamie-Anne. I happily suckled and dug and wiggled my crinkly butt, excited about my future as a baby T-girl.

My eyes flash open. I’m covered in sweat. I sit up and look myself over. Nope, I’m still 47 and fat, my crinoline babydoll nighty covering up my beer belly, though it does nothing for my hairy arms. My big fat Rearz Princess diaper is swollen and heavy. I cheer to myself that I’m finally wetting the bed, after years of trying. Through the bars of my custom-made adult-sized crib, I notice my computer screen is still lit.

“What a dream!” I reach up and let down the latch on the crib bars and climb out, delighting in the rustling of the nightie and the diaper, especially how the latter gives me a waddle now that it’s full of pee. “This is gonna make an AWESOME story!” I sit down at my computer chair and start typing.

Mom’s arm was latched so tight on mine as she marched me through the front door of Jefferson Middle School, I thought she was going to break it off…


Re: My Summer In Hell

At first, I was going to say this feels like a fappy fantasy. It has solid mechanics, but the mother and sister come off as the stereotypical Dommy Mommy Dream Team. But then I got to the twist ending. claps hands Brilliant. Freaking BRILLIANT. That was well played. Very well played. Taking a trope and turning it upside down on its head then flipping it sideways. I enjoyed this, especially then ending! :smiley:

Re: My Summer In Hell

So, my only comment is about the use of the word “faggy”. When I first encountered it in this story, I had a relatively visceral negative reaction; it feels like a slur to me the way it’s used by the narrator. But, after I thought about for a little bit, the narrator is being set up to be kind of a jerk, so I decided it was reasonably okay in this context, because it’s not being presented as normal or acceptable. The twist at the ending is very good, but then it re-frames everything we know about the narrator and I’m not so sure that using the word in the way it’s used during the dream is okay. Does it add that much to the story to use that particular word? “Girly” or “prissy” might get the meaning across just as well, without the connotations of “fag”.

Re: My Summer In Hell

The only argument I’ll throw out there about this position is that I seem to recall references to homosexuality being a mainstay of middle-school insults between boys. “Fag” was a standard shoot-from-the-hip at any guy the speaker didn’t like when you were 12, 13, 14, because testosterone, right?

For me, it felt natural to the speaker’s age, anyway.

Given the emotional maturity of the meta-narrator, it wouldn’t surprise me for him to discard the sensitivity as well, considering his stream-of-consciousness writing.

Re: My Summer In Hell

Unnatural and a bad choice to have a teenage/preteen boy who seems to delight in the coarsest language use a specific insult? Maybe the insults have been hidden a bit now, but I doubt much has changed. As for use in the dream given the twist of it being a dream? Why should that change anything? It’s not the nature of the author that matters in writing, it’s the viewpoints and habits of the character that’s been built. Twist of the dream or not, the narrator is still a crass boy, and maintaining realism says anything that crass boy would say is appropriate.

That’s my opinion, anyway.

Re: My Summer In Hell

[QUOTE=WBDaddy;70221]The only argument I’ll throw out there about this position is that I seem to recall references to homosexuality being a mainstay of middle-school insults between boys. “Fag” was a standard shoot-from-the-hip at any guy the speaker didn’t like when you were 12, 13, 14, because testosterone, right?

For me, it felt natural to the speaker’s age, anyway.

Given the emotional maturity of the meta-narrator, it wouldn’t surprise me for him to discard the sensitivity as well, considering his stream-of-consciousness writing.[/QUOTE]

I think this was a bit less common by the time I was an adolescent. But as it turns out at the end of the story, it’s not actually an adolescent boy, it’s an adult man dreaming he’s an adolescent boy, and that makes it feel different to me.

[QUOTE=Ally;70227]Unnatural and a bad choice to have a teenage/preteen boy who seems to delight in the coarsest language use a specific insult? Maybe the insults have been hidden a bit now, but I doubt much has changed. As for use in the dream given the twist of it being a dream? Why should that change anything? It’s not the nature of the author that matters in writing, it’s the viewpoints and habits of the character that’s been built. Twist of the dream or not, the narrator is still a crass boy, and maintaining realism says anything that crass boy would say is appropriate.

That’s my opinion, anyway.[/QUOTE]

The rest of the vulgarity didn’t bother me; “fuck” is a useful word without having the specific connotation that “faggy” does. I think it’s the absence of other slurs that makes this one stand out, kind of like hearing your grandfather casually refer to “the coloreds” or the N-word. And I think when it’s a first-person narrator, who that narrator is becomes significant. It’s one thing to use language some might view as offensive when it’s being used by a character we’re not necessarily supposed to like, or who is being set up as a miscreant or ill-behaved; there’s not much indication that the person who had the dream is that way, though. On some level, the crass boy is saying things that the dreaming man thinks the boy should say, and I’m not sure that reflects positively on the dreaming man.

To be clear, I’m not suggesting that authors can’t put words into their character’s mouths that they themselves wouldn’t say or think are inappropriate, but this is a story within a story; it’s fair to credit Hamlet for the play-within-a-play in Act III, scene 2 because Hamlet the character wrote it. Here, I’m saying it’s fair to credit the dreaming man with the language the crass boy says, because it’s presented as a wish-fulfillment dream, that this is who the dreaming man would want to be.

That said, reasonable minds can differ here. I just think the author can make the same point about crass adolescent boys and foul language without using that specific word. It doesn’t seem necessary to the story, and so it might be better to avoid its use.

Re: My Summer In Hell

Where you grew up makes a difference in how common it is, and believe me that in some places it is still very common.

Let’s also not ignore the fact that when people dream, they tend to have people who think/act/speak the way they have experience with, meaning that in a dream it would make sense for the character to use that word if it was a common thing for kids of that age when he was growing up.

In short, get a thicker skin, and realize at least two staffers read this and approved it for the contest so bitching about the use of a single word that makes sense in context of the age of the character using it at the time they were using it is beyond asinine.

Re: My Summer In Hell


I wasn’t bitching. I was offering criticism and feedback. That’s all. I thought that’s what we were supposed to be doing here. It seems no one else agrees with me, and that’s fine.

Re: My Summer In Hell

In my reading experience, I’ve encountered a ton of books where characters who aren’t even necessarily the villains of the story say and do things I find reprehensible. What’s the author’s purpose? I’m not sure. It feels like the author is injecting realism into this character by making him a crass boy with zero sensitivity toward other people. Look at how he delights in the violence he wreaks (and imagines wreaking). This is not a nice kid. And it’s entirely possible that this guy’s dream is some kind of interpolation with remembering himself at that age. So he wouldn’t be dreaming in politically correct terms either, not with all the violence and abuse involved in his little fantasy.

Re: My Summer In Hell

I am not sure I agree with PeterRabbit here, though I certainly do see his point. I also see why the story was approved for the contest: nothing here rises to the level of intentional offense that would have given cause to remove it, not by a long shot. Honestly, though, I had a different reaction to both the story and the critiques. I think we may be too quick to be forgiving of a piece that is 98% cliché fap material simply because, in the end, the author “redeems” it by attaching a brief ending that consists of the oldest cliché in the writer’s toolbox: and then I woke up. The fact that the dream provides material for a story is nice; it’s been done before, but it’s nice. Still, I am not seeing how this 2% of the story alters my reactions to the rest of the piece leading up to it, nor that it should.

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Re: My Summer In Hell

Can’t argue with that assessment. The humorous element of the “and then I woke up” component matches up neatly with the rest of the story - absurd caricature of the cliche ABDL wakes up from absurd dream about cliche ABDL tropes and decides to write fappy story about his fappy dream… But yeah, it doesn’t improve the quality of the bulk of it.

1 Like

Re: My Summer In Hell

Who is that picture, WBDaddy? Because damn he’s gorgeous.

Re: My Summer In Hell

Uh… Me, about 10 years ago. blush

Re: My Summer In Hell

Whoa. I hope I didn’t embarrass you. But seriously​. Anyway, don’t worry about me: I’m an old married lady.

Re: My Summer In Hell

cough Fangirl cough

But on topic, and relevant to the above discussion, I think the inclusion of ‘offensive’ wording is totally in-character for the narrator. Worth noting is the total shift to trans-girl, something the kid in the beginning would definitely call “faggy.”
I like the aspect of rolling it up into a dream, where an avenue of imagination can be explored that might otherwise not be…

…or it could just be a fun jab at fantasizing in this interest.

Re: My Summer In Hell

Pretty much this. I went full-on absurd with the tropes, including “and then I woke up”, to create the meta-joke - absurdly cliche stories happen through absurdly cliche means from absurdly cliche people.

Clearly I went a little too Andy Kaufman on this one. :smiley:

Re: My Summer In Hell

I like the story better knowing that it was meant to be absurd. (Not that we didn’t all have suspicions before, but it’s nice to have confirmation). It make for a good teaching tool for new writers–point them to this story to demonstrate what we mean when we say that things like plot, character development, and the like matter, and why it’s important to avoid being too clique. :wink:

Re: My Summer In Hell

Well, much as I did in the first Halloween contest, I wanted to play with some humorous elements. Coming up with something original off-the-cuff under a deadline when I’m juggling so many other projects seemed a bit daunting, so I decided to just go full-on the other direction, be as unoriginal as possible, invoke all the tropes I could think of in a story with a breakneck pace from the outset, with cardboard cutout characters and the whole nine yards.

One might say I was being lazy and cracking a subtle little joke about it in the process.

But sure, I could see this being held up as an example for new people of you’redoingitwrong when presenting a technically clean but utterly unoriginal story. :smiley:

Re: My Summer In Hell

I like the part where you skip over the details of character growth. He goes straight from calling it faggy, to completely loving it, and any of explanation for why is conveniently left out.

Nice touch. :stuck_out_tongue:

Re: My Summer In Hell

[QUOTE=Vearynope;70544]I like the part where you skip over the details of character growth. He goes straight from calling it faggy, to completely loving it, and any of explanation for why is conveniently left out.

Nice touch. :P[/QUOTE]

Well, it wouldn’t be completely cliche if it wasn’t, “And he was diapered ever after, and liked it.” :smiley: