I stayed up reading Ashley’s Diaper Adventure. It had many parts to it but they were all short. Lot of stuffed had happened in it like Ashley’s friend gets beat by her father and then her and her older sister get taken and the mom gets in trouble too for not stopping her husband from beating their child. Then when the dad gets out of jail, the mother gets her kids back and divorces him. The kids lived with their aunt while the parents were away and her aunt bought her diapers for her to wear whenever she wanted. Then when she was back with her mother, she wore them still. Glen loses his job so the family had to move to Colorado. Ashley makes new friends and they also get into diapers. Glen loses his job again and comes home drunk and he and his wife fight and it upsets Ashley and her brother and sister. Then that day he comes home in a bad mood again yelling about toys on the floor and dirty dishes in the sink. That reminded me of Dad and then he tries to spank Ashley because she was acting like a baby and wearing diapers and he decided he wanted her to grow up and he was sick of buying diapers. But the mother stops him and she threatens to call the police if he doesn’t get out of the house. Then days later her mom decides to divorce him and he had hit her that night and tried forcing sex on her and it upset him when she refused it. He came home very upset and wanted it. Shame they didn’t try and work it out, she decided to leave him over one bad incident. Then Kelly starts having accidents after that and the mother puts her back in pull ups and diapers and she is upset about it and Ashley had to get her to calm down and accept wearing them. Months later, he comes back and kidnaps Ashley and Kelly and drives them to Nevada and beats them and ties them to the toilet for having accidents. He took their diapers away and he was so stupid he didn’t seem to get they couldn’t help it. He even gave them fake names. Why did the author have to make the dad mean? He went from being nice to mean. I guess it was a good thing his wife left him. But the kids get rescued and get taken to some shelter and then the mother gets accused of doing child abuse and neglect for letting Ashley be a baby and letting her wear diapers and denying her the bathroom. She did get her kids back but she had to take parenting classes. I was glad the kids got away from their dad and he was arrested for kidnapping and child abuse. I can’t imagine my own dad turning mean and then beating our mom and then kidnapping us and beating me and Kelly or Matthew. I hope he won’t turn mean from his drinking. Also the mother’s name was not Anita thank goodness. That would have been even weirder if it was.
I finished reading the story and looked for more stories to read online. I came across a website and it was called Baby Tali. She claimed to be a seventeen year old teen baby. I looked around on the site and I noticed it linked to that story board again on Bravenet. It also linked to other sites and they were all adult baby or diaper lover based. They also had stories on them. The website even had a story section and it was a lot to choose from. I click on The Problem Child. It made me think of the movie about that trouble maker boy. The story was just about a seventeen year old girl who is mouthy and she cursed her sister out because she couldn’t stand hearing the TV show Blues Clues. Of course her little sister Karen told their mother and Erica, the mom, decides to put Alicia, the seventeen year old, in diapers and make her a baby. I don’t mean literally. I mean treat her like one so they make her wear diapers and sleep in a crib and eat in a high chair. They even put something in the food so it would numb her mouth and make her unable to say real words so she would talk like a baby. She was also given an enema at nap time. For some reason I felt sorry for Alicia despite what a bitch she is. I was feeling tired and getting more and more sleepy but I wanted to finish the story.
After I got done with the story, I decided on another story Wynter’s Treatment. I only read the beginning of it and decided I would read more of this tomorrow. So I logged out of AOL and turned the computer off and went to bed. I thought about all the stuff I had discovered online. The story Ashley’s Diaper Adventure made me miss the times when my own mother changed me; she still does of course in the mornings on school days most of the time. Brian changed me too when I was little and then he stopped when I got to age ten. Dad stopped too at that age and only Mom did it. She was always home so there was never a moment when she wasn’t around to do it. I think the babying part might be fun too. I am not sure how Mom and Dad would react if I came up to them and told them “Mom, Dad, since I have to wear diapers, I have decided I should be a baby and I want you guys to treat me like I’m two.” That would probably get me sent to the therapist’s office. Only babyish things I could do was hug my Teletubby and baby blanket and play with my old toys, listen to Raffi and Wee Sing tapes, and watch old children videos like Disney Sing Along Songs and Wee Sing in Sillyville video, and watch Mister Roger’s Neighborhood. I guess I would be on my own for all this. But at least Mom still dresses me and changes me so that is good but it’s only on school days for the most part. But she changed me in jail and that felt good. I didn’t have to clean up the mess. I could have done it myself but Mom wanted to do it.
I got up the next day. It was Sunday. Church day but we don’t go to church. My family is atheist so my parents don’t believe in god. I remember going to church one time when I was little with my family. We went there with another family we knew in our neighborhood and then they moved to Las Vegas a long time ago when I was nine. I can remember the time Kelly started going to church with a friend and I went along too and so did Matthew and I didn’t like it so I didn’t go again. It was all boring stuff and I only liked the singing and that was it but all the talking, boring. Sunday school was okay and then it was church time. But it was an experience I had. We have also gone to day camp at church with Kelly’s friend and that was lot of fun because we played games and did crafts and sang. Kelly still goes to church with her friend. I looked up at her bed and saw it was empty. Okay she went to church with her friend. They come by and pick her up and she goes to church with them. They go to a Lutheran church.
I don’t know why people believe in god and follow the bible and go to church and make it so important. But I guess it’s like how I have to watch my TV shows so to them that is how they feel about church like how I feel about needing to watch my TV shows, even if it’s a rerun. Mom and Dad say religion is stupid and it tells you how to live your life. We don’t even have a bible either; Kelly does but no one else does in the house. I have always seen them as books with stories, nothing different.
I checked my diaper area and saw I didn’t leak. These things held good. They were great night time diapers. I tried masturbating in them again but it stung. I got out of bed and changed and put rash cream on, before I put the diaper on of course. I went downstairs and got some breakfast. I had Alphabets, the ones with marshmallows. I don’t like the plain ones. Dad was away at work because he was nowhere to be seen and Mom was doing laundry. Matthew must be in his room or in the den.
After I was done eating I put the bowl in the sink and went upstairs. I got back on the computer and logged onto AOL and went back to the story site I found yesterday. I had to find the same site again and I clicked on the story again I was reading and read it. The story just made me think of the evil stepmother because she makes her stepdaughter regress into a baby and she wasn’t fond of her and didn’t like her bed wetting. The story just made me feel sad because Wynter was forced to regress and be treated like a child. I wouldn’t want to go to bed early or take naps or have restricted activities. I can’t imagine not being on the computer or playing videogames or watching GoldenEye. But I also saw her younger step sister got the same treatment as her because she started wetting the bed too and then was having day time accidents so Donna, the step mother, treated her like how she was treating Wynter.
I spent time on the computer for the rest of the morning reading and I had even abandoned doing the daily jigsaw on shockwave because I was too busy. I didn’t even watch GoldenEye yesterday because I was too busy being on the computer.
Kelly did come back around one but she had to babysit Ellie and James again because the parents wanted to see Veronica in the hospital and they didn’t want Ellie and James there for some reason. I wonder why they were asking her to baby sit if Veronica’s mother doesn’t even like Mom. Kelly just brought her homework along so she could do it there while she watched the kids.
I was glad she wasn’t here because I always hate it when she does something I want to do but she is always nice giving me the TV or the computer when I want it. Matthew spends lot of his time in his room or in the den. I spend my time upstairs in my room or in Matthew’s room playing video games or in Mom and Dad’s room watching TV. I go to the den when I feel like it just to play the old computer. Kelly does different things like going to friends’ houses a lot, doing her homework or reading or watching TV or talking on the phone or chatting to her friends online from school, or babysitting. I wish I could baby sit but no one ever calls and has me do it. Instead they ask for Kelly. I’ve done classes before about babysitting so I could do it. I did it when I was thirteen. I can remember Dad telling me I am not mature enough for it but he let me take the classes anyway. Mom watched kids in her teens and she was worst off when she was my age but she was good with kids so he said he couldn’t under estimate me like people did with her. But she had young siblings so that was how everyone knew what she was capable of because she helped Grandma out despite her anger issues she had with her and with Uncle John. Mom had very poor social skills (whatever those are) and poor communication skills and couldn’t hold a conversation or do small talk and she didn’t have any friends her age and she had a hard time relating to people. Plus she always isolated herself and would hang out in the track field by herself during lunch period running her fingers along the chained fence or dribbling sand in her hands and digging her feet in the sand and getting in school suspension. Mom liked being in there because it kept her away from the noise and chaos and bullies and she could draw and day dream and read whatever she wanted to learn about and she didn’t do any sports or school activities because she liked being home.
Dad told me taking babysitting classes would give me an experience and I would learn from it so he let me take it. Maybe someday I will babysit but Kelly never lets me come help her with it. She tells me they only hired her, not two sitters. One of Kelly’s friends does what Kristy and her friends do in The Baby Sitters Club books. They hold a meeting at one of their homes and parents call them. I have wanted to join them but Kelly told me they have enough members already and if they need any extra ones, she will tell them about me and maybe use me for back up. But so far that hasn’t happened yet so they never needed me yet. Kelly is also busy with sports and one of her friend’s parents gives her a ride home from soccer practice. I wish I had that many friends but at the same time I am content with what I am doing now. I prefer to be home and do my things. If only there were kids out there that like doing what I like doing instead of the boring stuff. I think I am like my mother in ways but I am not as bad as her. As Dad always says “You’re just like your mother.” But I had more of a normal childhood than she did. I am just a lighter version of her. But she got to baby sit. At least I got to watch Kelly and Matthew and I wouldn’t even know I was babysitting them until they told me I was when they got back. All they did was told us the rules when they leave and who to contact for in case of emergency.
At lunch time, I was talking to Mom about my feelings acting weird. I told her about how I was feeling bad about my old friend. I wondered if she was going to live or die or if she was going to have any injuries for the rest of her life. I just didn’t understand why I would feel this way about her if we’re enemies.
“You have a good heart,” Mom told me. “Even though she has been mean to you and dumped you as a friend, you still feel bad about her because what happened to her, you went through. You sound forgiving so you feel bad about her and you don’t hate her. Maybe you should go see her.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Just making a suggestion,” she said. “She saw you in the hospital so why not return the favor to go see her? I bet that will make her happy. Surprise her.”
“But I don’t think she want me there,” I said. “What if they only allow family?”
“I think it would be worth a try, your choice,” said Mom.
I thought about what Mom said. I wanted to go in and see how bad she was but would I be going in just to see how bad she is hurt and think “ha ha” because of what she did to me or would I be going just because I felt bad for her and wanted to see if she was okay. I also wondered if she would be wearing diapers. Was she in coma?
Kelly came home around five. She had some cash in her hand the parents gave her for babysitting. “I can’t believe they paid me twenty five bucks,” said Kelly. “I hope they go see her more so I can make more money from them.”
“Wow,” I said.
I wished I could babysit but her parents wanted Kelly to watch their kids, not me. I guess they would rather have a twelve year old watch them than a fifteen year old or because they don’t like me either or think I am too different to watch their kids or because they think I am a criminal. I also wished I had that much money.
“All mine, it’s all mine,” Kelly said waving her money around. Then she started to sing, “Mine mine mine mine, all mine from all this babysitting, go back and watch more kids…” It sounded like that tune to the Disney song version from Pocahontas. Kelly got out her safe and put in the combination and put her money in there. She stuck it back in her hiding spot.
Dad came home too around seven but he was in a very bad mood. There was nothing at home to get him upset about but he said he just had a bad day at work. None of us talked to him. Dad was slamming things and yelling about anything that made him mad. He also reorganized the movies and the books to calm down. I wonder what the order would be this time, last time he organized the movies by actor/actress and it was a pain in the ass for the rest of us because we had to re look for a certain movie and I had to search for GoldenEye. One time he organized it by genre. At least he keeps the children movies and those special movie cases Disney movies come in and some family movies together and the blank tapes. Sometimes he will organize them in alphabetical order too. I just stayed in my room with the computer reading more diaper stories. I had wasted my whole day on the computer and didn’t do anything else but I had fun. Matthew didn’t complain about wanting to be on here so that was good. I noticed he never asked for the computer at all yesterday or today. He is always busy in his room is why or playing with Skippy and walking him. Then he watches TV.
I decided to take a break from reading and go on the incontinent support board again. I read some posts and saw one that caught my interest, “Misadventures of Being Incontinent” it was called. I clicked on it and the person who started the thread asked what things have they experienced with their medical condition that wasn’t good and he listed some of his. He wrote how he had just changed into a fresh diaper and then five minutes later he pooped and another time he was stuck in traffic and his diaper needed to be changed and he couldn’t change so he ended up leaking all over the seat and getting a very bad diaper rash. I read other replies and one of them mentioned he was hiking and he had to change but had to wander off the trail to do it and a couple saw him and didn’t say anything. He then had to carry the soiled diaper in his bag.
I clicked reply to add my own. I wrote down all the cons of being incontinent I had experienced over the years.
[i]Pooping in the shower
Peeing on the bathroom floor at school, even in front of the girls while getting changed into our clothes or PE clothes.
Pooping in class and kids smelling it
Pooping in public and not being able to change right away
Pooping and not being able to change because I didn’t bring an extra one with
Pooping and cleaning it up is hard
Peeing while changing my diaper
Having diarrhea and having a diaper blow out
Pants smelling like piss and poo and my bed and the furniture
Sweating in my diapers when it’s real hot out
Having my diaper split open when I slid into third base while playing softball
Couldn’t try out for the swim team
Being arrested because they thought I was drunk and I messed myself in the backseat and the officers made fun of me and made me stay in my soiled diaper and my mom cleaned me up thank god so I didn’t have to do it.
Pooping right after I change
Waking up in a wet bed because my diaper leaked
Getting my diaper changed in the back seat of the car when I was little and someone once had the nerve to walk up to us and ask my mother if I am retarded or something and my mom responded back with “Are you?” because he was rude for asking
Getting my diaper changed once in the doctor’s office during one of my appointments. Mom changed me on the gurney patients lay on when getting their bodies checked and Mom did it in front of my doctor
Getting a very bad diaper rash when I was ten, I had to be taken to the doctor
Getting a rash and not being able to air out
Kids giving me a hard time for playing in the neighborhood creek because they didn’t want my diapers in there or my poop and pee
Pooping while taking a bath and had to empty it out and clean up the mess
Pooping in the small pool and having to empty it out and refill it again
Being teased about it in school[/i]
That was all I could think of and clicked submit. I go by the name Incontinent Natalie on the forum. I read another reply and it read “Yo incontinent wanabes, is this what you really want?”
I don’t understand why someone would even want to be incontinent. I know it’s because they will get to wear diapers but why not just go and get some? They don’t have to be incontinent to wear them. It’s still weird of course to wear them and not even need them. Now I just discover some people like to be a baby and they were called adult babies or teen babies and there was a word for people who like diapers and they were called diaper lovers.
The next day I did not go to school. Instead Mom wanted to take me to my new school to check it out. She knew where it was located because she had called them and wrote down the directions and looked at the map and marked the spot and buildings that are next to it. Dad didn’t bother trying to get me back in my old school because he didn’t see the point if he and Mom were going to put me in this school. So I would miss a few days of school or a fortnight Dad called it. That means two weeks. Lot of people don’t know what a fortnight is because they don’t use that word here but we do, it’s one of Dad’s words from where he is from. But he told me he wasn’t sure how long it would be when I start school again. I was a little upset for not going to school but Mom told me why would I want to go to a school with mean kids and a dumb principal.
She did have a point. Why do I want to go to school where I get picked on? I also know this week would be the last week of soccer for my old team. I still had the uniform and I would have to turn it back in. Mom had already washed it so it was neatly folded in my room. She did get me out of bed that morning and changed my diaper again.
“How do you like these?” Mom asked as she undid the tapes.
“I like them better than my other ones,” I said.
“Maybe we should switch to these then,” said Mom.
“But they are so thick and loud,” I said.
“But do they work better for at night and for at home?” Mom asked.
“Yes,” I said.
“Okay, I will talk to your Dad about switching to these. We can still get you the other diapers we get you if you like.”
Mom finished changing me and got me dressed in my sweats. I had on a Spice Girls t shirt I got at the concert two years back when they came to Portland. Dad took Kelly and me there. I remember the concert started an hour late and everyone was going “Spice Girls” and clapping like the people did in the movie Spice World. They performed at the Rose Garden Arena where the Blazers play.
I had breakfast and got ready to leave. I put the new extra diaper in my backpack just in case. I was sure I wouldn’t need it but I wanted to be sure. Kelly and Matthew were already in school so it was just Mom and I and our pets. We headed out to the car. The papers were still in the car Mom left. I was glancing down at the top paper when Mom opened the car door. I looked up. I didn’t want to be caught looking at them. Mom got in and put her seat belt on. We headed for my new school.
“Mom, have you ever gotten kicked out of school?” I asked on the way.
“Yes, once,” she said.
“Why?” I asked.
“I punched a girl in the nose and broke it,” said Mom.
“Because she was blocking my pathway and I didn’t like it so I punched her giving her a bloody nose and the principal decided to kick me out and that is why I find it ridiculous your principal kicked you out for acting out your favorite scene.”
“Was Grandma mad?”
“Oh yes,” said Mom. “She had seven kids living at home she had to take care of and my autistic brother and she was seven months pregnant with Aunt Jane and I get myself kicked out of school making it harder for her.”
“So did you ever get back in your school?”
“No, she put me in another school. She didn’t want to fight because she had too much to handle so she just found another school to put me in.”
Doing the math, it had to be nineteen seventy two when it happened since that was the year Aunt Jane was born so Mom would have been fourteen when it happened since her birthday is right after school gets out for the summer. So I was not the only one in my family who had gotten kicked out of school.
“Didn’t you tell the girl to move?” I asked.
“No I tried to go around her and she kept blocking me so I punched her.”
“Didn’t you shove her aside?” I asked.
“No. I think what happened was we were both trying to get through and every direction we tried going, we both took and I misread her intention and thought she was trying to block me so I got mad and socked her. I had a bad temper and with all the teasing I got from kids, I thought she was teasing me. It’s always best to give people the benefit of the doubt.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means don’t assume the worst. Like me giving that girl the benefit of the doubt would have been she isn’t trying to block my way and she also wants to get though so just stand still and see if she goes by, if not, then she is being mean. That is what I should have done than assuming the worst and hitting her. It took me years to realize this and you were little by the time I figured it out and all along I just thought I was in trouble for being picked on and I was supposed to let her bully me but no one bothered trying to explain it to me then except they told me I punched a girl so I am not to return to that school again and even Mom yelled at me about it and she didn’t try and explain it to me or talk to me about it to hear my perspective.”
“Didn’t you tell her she was blocking your path and wouldn’t let you through?” I asked.
“I didn’t know how to tell them. I just kept saying she was blocking me and they didn’t listen. My mother just kept telling me “you don’t punch people” and I didn’t understand why then either I was getting yelled at. All I knew then was they were yelling at me for defending myself in the hallway. They just assumed I was being naughty and thought “I am going to punch this girl because she is in my way so bam” and that is not what I was thinking when I did it. I didn’t plan it. Then I thought later I was supposed to let her block my way and pick on me and I am not to defend myself. I am sure they did try explaining it to me and they didn’t know how either.”
We arrived at the school. It was indeed smaller than my old school because it looked like it. But it was also two stories like my old one and it also had a gym but the school looked older than my other one.
It also looked like a normal school. There were no bars on windows or fences around the property. They had normal fences of course because they had a field. They even had a track field too and a playground which felt weird. But they didn’t have a football field. They didn’t have bleachers either. So why was there a track?
We went inside and it also looked like a normal school. It even had lockers. Mom and I went into the office. It also looked like a normal office. I wondered what the kids looked like and how they behaved. I saw a curly blond haired woman sitting at her desk. She was heavy and wore glasses and had large sized breasts. She didn’t look too young either nor too old. She looked to be around my mother’s age or older.
She had her name sitting at the edge of the counter. Mrs. Peggy, it read. She was just sitting at her computer working. The desk was behind the counter.
“Hey, we are here to look at the school,” said Mom.
“Oh yes, hi. You want to enroll your child here?” Mrs. Peggy asked looking at the monitor.
Mom and she started talking. I just walked around the office looking at stuff. I even noticed she had pictures of kids and a man at her desk. It must have been her family. The kids looked younger and then around my age. They were three boys and a girl. I saw two other pictures of a man and woman and I didn’t know who those were. I even noticed a baby picture. It looked like a girl. It must have been her family or friends or relatives. She even had a school picture of a young girl who looked to be about Kelly’s age or mine and it was the same girl from the other photos I saw except she was younger in them. It was taped on the hard drive of the computer that was sitting on her desk where you turn it on at and it holds all the memory and where you connect and mouse and keyboard and speakers to.
“How do we go about enrolling our daughter here?” Mom asked.
“We would need her school records and medical reports and the transfer from the principal,” Mrs. Peggy replied.
“We have all those at home except for the last part,” said Mom. “She just got kicked out of school and my husband and I got tired of fighting about her education and she was being bullied tremendously and it was destroying her self-esteem.”
“Plenty of students here have also been kicked out of school or taken out by their parents,” said Mrs. Peggy. “Or their kids needed a better education their schools couldn’t give them.”
“How quickly do kids get put in this school?” Mom asked.
“Well that depends.”
Mom and Mrs. Peggy kept on talking. Then I overheard Mom mentioning my incontinence and my disabilities.
“Oh she isn’t the first one here with that issue either,” said Mrs. Peggy.
I hope she meant incontinence.
“Will she need assistance or can she do it herself?” Mrs. Peggy asked.
“She can do it herself but she still has troubles with the messy ones but she can handle the wet ones fine. I just had her started changing herself this summer.”
“How exactly does she have troubles with the messy ones? If it’s about the cleanup, we have showers here and she can just change in the locker room and wash herself down there.”
The whole topic was embarrassing, talking about my bodily functions and my diapers so I left the office. I looked around. The hallways were smaller and I managed to peek in one of the windows on one of the classroom doors at the classroom. There were kids in there and not very many of them. Then I saw a line of younger kids walking behind the teacher and they all looked normal. They were talking and acting normal.
“Hey Natalie,” one of them said.
I looked and there I saw Allie, a girl I knew, waving at me. “You go to this school too?” I asked.
“Yep are you going to be coming here now?”
“Yes,” I said.
“Cool,” she said.
“You know her?” another girl asked.
“Yeah, my sister dates her brother,” said Allie.
“What a small world,” said the girl.
“Kids, come on,” said their teacher.
“Got to go, bye,” said Allie.
Allie is Kate’s little sister. I met her last month at the party when her little sister turned ten. She is thirteen. I wondered why she was coming here. Maybe it was for her ADHD. I was coming here for my learning issues.
I kept looking around and after I was done I went back to the office and saw Mom and Mrs. Peggy were gone. I figured they must be looking around. I walked around some more. I went outside and I saw Allie again with her class. They were all out in the field playing a game. I watched what they were doing. They were all running around. The teacher saw me and asked if she can help me.
“No,” I said.
“I haven’t seen you around, are you new here?” she asked.
“I’m just here looking,” I said.
“Oh, you are going to attend here?”
“Soon,” I said.
“I am Mrs. Jenkins, the PE teacher, and we play games, nothing like real PE at mainstream schools because lots of students here have problems with their coordination and don’t enjoy sports and sports are difficult for them so we make it fun. Right now they are playing freezer tag.”
“So this is like elementary school PE?” I asked.
“I guess you can see it as that,” she said. “So you are just here touring with your parents?”
“Just with my mother,” I said. “Dad is at work.”
“Well you’re welcome to join us, go out there and run and tag other kids and touch the ones who are frozen to unfreeze them, you ever played the game?”
“Yes,” I said.
I joined in and ran hard touching other kids and touching the ones who were frozen. This was lot of fun. I haven’t liked PE since elementary school. Why do they have to make it boring now and take away the fun when you get to junior high?
I played with them until it was time for them to go back to class. “See you around Natalie,” said Allie. “Hey are you ever coming back to my house again?”
“I don’t know,” I said.
“You should, we had lot of fun last time.”
The kids walked back inside. Allie went inside with them. She had to go back to class. I was sweating from all the running around but luckily being outside kept me from sweating more.
I just kept looking around. I looked for Mom.
Mom was nowhere to be found. I started to freak out. I looked in the parking lot and saw she was still here. Good she didn’t leave me. I yelled her name. I kept calling her name and then a staff person told me kids were trying to learn and I must not shout. I told her I am looking for my mother.
“What does she look like?” she asked.
“She is a little shorter than me up to here,” I put my hand up to my eyes, “and she has blonde hair like I do but it’s darker and she has medium sized boobs and is a little bigger than me and has a butt that sticks out like I do,” I said.
“What does she have on?”
“Long pants, lone sleeve shirt and a coat,” I said.
“I mean what color?”
“Brown pants, blue shirt, red coat.”
“Where did you last see her?”
“In the office.”
“Okay. We will try and find her. Just keep looking, did you check the restrooms?”
I started looking for her again. This time I yelled “Mom” in the ladies room and no answer.
Mom has never disappeared like this before. I hope nothing bad happened.
I looked in every restroom I could find. I didn’t look in the men’s because why would she be in there?
I even went to the office and saw Mrs. Peggy there. “Have you seen my mom?” I asked.
“Last time I saw her she was looking for you after we were done with the tour,” she said.
“I can’t find her anywhere,” I said.
“Did you look in the bathrooms?”
“Well did you look in all of them?”
“I looked in the ones I could find,” I said.
“Okay, we’ll look together.”
She got out of her seat and we left the office. We looked in each bathroom but she told me I should look under the stalls to see.
“Why?” I asked. “She would answer if I called her.”
“We’re double checking,” she said.
So we looked in the bathrooms again and I peeked under the stalls. I don’t mean I poked my head under there; I just squatted down and looked to see if there were any feet. Then we ran into another staff person. “I think we found her,” he said.
“Who?” Mrs. Peggy asked.
“A lady we are looking for, I hear she is found in the restroom close to the gym.”
“Thank you,” said Mrs. Peggy.
I and she headed towards the gym. It was right on the other side of the school. We looked in the ladies room. “Mom?” I called.
“In here,” she said.
She didn’t sound happy.
“Is everything alright?” Mrs. Peggy asked.
“Yes,” said Mom.
“Yes,” Mom snapped.
“Just making sure, if you need any help, come alert us,” and Mrs. Peggy left the bathroom.
“Mom, are you okay?” I asked. “You sound upset.”
“I had an accident and I am so humiliated,” Mom cried in the stall.
I laughed but I kept quiet about it.
“You mean you wet your pants?” I asked trying not to snicker.
I couldn’t control my mind finding this funny so I was trying to hold back the laughing. I knew it wasn’t funny and didn’t think it was but my mind seems to have a mind of its own.
“Yes,” said Mom. “How else would I mean by ‘accident’?”
“How did it happen?” I asked. “Did you forget to go?”
“I went this morning and then I had to go again and didn’t make it. Now I don’t know what I am going to do. I am not walking out there in wet pants,” said Mom.
I went to the sink and did what Billy Madison did in the movie. I put some water on my pants in my crotch area and then on my legs and I made sure to get them soaked. I used my hands as a cup and then poured it on my pants.
“Okay Mom, come on out,” I said. “Look what I did.”
I heard Mom unlock the stall door and she came out. Her pants were indeed wet and she looked at me in shocked. “You wet your pants?” she said.
“No I got them wet from the sink,” I said. “Now we both have wet pants.”
“But yours don’t even look like you did it because mine looks different.”
“Well get them more wet,” I suggested. “Do what I did.”
“You got water all over the floor,” Mom pointed.
“It can get cleaned up,” I said.
I turned the water back on and put some water in my hands and tossed the water on her pants.
“Natalie,” she said.
“Do you want to be stuck in this bathroom?” I asked. “This is the only way to hide it. We’ll just make it look like we got our pants all wet from this.”
Mom started to do what I did. She cupped her hands under the tab and poured it on her pants. She even lifted her leg up and got her pants leg all wet and then the other side too. She got her upper legs wet too. I couldn’t tell anymore she had an accident."
“This was brilliant,” said Mom. “Now we have to wipe up the mess so no one will slip and fall.”
Mom grabbed some paper towels and started to wipe up the water spills.
“C’mon help me,” she ordered.
I grabbed some paper towels too and wiped up the mess. After we were all done, we left the restroom.
I filled my diaper with poop as we walked in the hallway. I felt embarrassed. I hoped no one would come out in the hallway and smell it. “Good thing we are leaving anyway,” said Mom. “I just want to go home. At least you got to see the school and I learned more about it.”
We headed out to the car. I got in and I felt the mess squish around on my butt. I even realized I was wet. I looked down at my diaper as Mom started the car. The diaper looked dry still because I was only wet in the middle. The outside of my diaper was wet from the pants.
“Thank you Natalie for rescuing me,” said Mom.
“No problem,” I said.
I put my seat belt on.
“Have you been taking those pills we got you?”
“I took one last night and the night before,” I said.
“But have you been taking them three times a day like you are supposed to?”
“I keep forgetting.”
“Well you need to set up notes to remind yourself or write it on your hand. Taking them once a day isn’t going to help the smell. How did you come up with the idea anyway of getting your pants wet?”
“Billy Madison,” I said. “He got his crotch wet when this boy had an accident so he did it to make him feel better and other kids thought he wet his pants so he pretended he did. Then everyone else wets their pants after he told them all it was cool.”
“You and your movies,” said Mom.
“I’m curious; did you wet your pants in front of anyone?” I asked.
“No I was alone thank god,” said Mom. “I was going to do more of the tour but this happened. I should have just worn a diaper like I did on Friday when I had to take you kids to the parade.”
“I saw Allie there,” I said.
“….It was a good thing I did because you got arrested and I was wetting myself while I was yelling at the officer and I didn’t bother stopping it because I had wet it a little already so I would mind as well put it to good use since I would be taking it off anyway.”
“I saw Allie there,” I said again trying to change the subject.
“….And it felt funny while I was changing you because there I was cleaning you up and I was standing in a wet diaper while you got to be clean.”
“Mom, I don’t want to hear about your diaper wearing adventures,” I said loudly as I had my ears covered. “It feels too weird for me to hear it. I wish I never knew about all this. I was fine with thinking I was the only one wearing them. Now I feel different now when I picture you wearing one and it’s so freaky.”
“Oh sorry,” said Mom. “I thought you would feel better about not being the only one. I have shared with you I wore them to bed growing up and you were fine with that and you know about me wetting the bed still sometimes and my accidents so I thought you would be fine with this.”
I uncovered my ears. See, I told you Mom doesn’t shut up when she goes on and on so I had to be harsh to shut her up.
“Well it feels weird for some reason,” I said. “I just don’t want to know about it. Now I can’t even look in the trash again at home because I am afraid of seeing a diaper now that isn’t mine. I don’t know why I feel this way, I just do.”
“Okay, I will get back in the closet with it then. So what did you think?”
“I don’t care. I just don’t want to know about it,” I said.
“No I mean the school,” Mom laughed.
“The kids looked normal there,” I said.
“Of course they did. What were you expecting?”
“I don’t know. I know this is a school for kids who aren’t normal and they all seemed normal and I couldn’t tell what they had wrong with them.”
“That is how you look to everyone else too,” said Mom as she got on the road.
“The school looked normal too.”
“What did you think it would look like?”
“I don’t know,” I said again. “I thought it would look different than the other schools. I noticed their PE is different than normal PE. They play fun games like freezer tag.”
“So you like it so far?”
“I guess,” I said. “I saw Allie there.”
“Allie?” Mom asked.
“Kate’s little sister.”
“Really? She goes to that school?”
“Well at least you will already know someone when you go there. I knew she went to a different school because Denise told me. She wanted her in a smaller classroom and her school was over crowded.”
Denise is Allie and Kate’s mother.
Then Mom told me more about the school. “They still teach the same subjects but in a different manner. There will be about ten kids in each classroom; they keep the pupil number per classroom small so the teacher can pay more attention to each student. They also do job training so students get some experience and it will also try and help them get a job in the future. You will be in a classroom with other kids who have the same learning struggles as you and same behavior. They had an opening so we can put you in. But we would have to have a meeting again to discuss what your needs are and what your goals will be. They do have the calming room they call it so that when a student gets too upset in class or starts acting out, they send them to that room. At your other school, you would be sent out in the hall. They also do speech and occupational therapy there and social skills training for students. I remember you did all those. Remember when your father and I signed you up for group therapy because we were told it would help with your social skills if we put you in a small group with other kids?”
“Was that when you had to take me all the way down to Portland for that one group and the teacher had all these prizes and poker chips and we all had to earn them to trade them for one of the prizes?” I asked.
“Yes, that was it,” said Mom.
“I loved it.”
“You told us you hated it because you found all the kids there annoying and thought they were worse than you. Then you thought you weren’t so bad after all.”
“I don’t remember,” I said.
“Well that is what you said and we signed you up for another group therapy session and you hated it too and said it was worse than the other one.”
“Because there were no prizes this time and we had work sheets this time and it was all focused on assertive passive and aggressive and we had to get stuck in traffic,” I said.
“I didn’t like the long drive anyway and being stuck in traffic so we didn’t sign you up again since you hated going so much,” said Mom.
I could remember going to both groups and I don’t remember finding anyone there annoying. I remember they all seemed like normal kids. It was obvious this one boy there was always making up stories because he told this one girl in the group about London and I knew it was all a lie because I had been to London and I knew St. James Park was not filled with rats and I knew Roger and Anita’s house from 101 Dalmatians was not located in Wales and other crap he told about it, I knew they were all lies. Dad grew up there and he has told us stories about it so I knew it was all lies the kid was telling. You could just tell they were all stories but they were funny ones and the girl seemed to believe them all or she pretended to just so she could hear more of them. When I told the girl I had been there and my dad grew up there, bam she always asked me questions about it, especially the same ones, and always wanted me to tell her more about my experience being there and what my dad has told me about his. It was like she was obsessed with me because she was always talking to me and she hugged me once and tried to kiss me. I sure learned to not ever do that to other people because I then knew how it felt. She also talked about 101 Dalmatians a lot and Anita wearing diapers (she claimed she wore them and said she saw them and it looked like she had one on) and she always bounced on the couch and walked around and the teacher would yell at her to sit down. I wonder if she had ADHD. Plus she talked loud and she talked funny like me and was also tall and we were about the same height. If she was so annoying, I couldn’t imagine how annoying I must be for others when I act that way. It was like being with another me and she was so annoying (okay I accidentally lied, I did find someone there annoying and she was the only one I could remember). She also got obsessed and I remember her talking about the movie Titanic but not Leonardo Dicaprio, only the ship and the whole movie, and then the movie Scream. She also asked lot of questions and I remember her complaining about missing her favorite TV show and she hated coming to the group because of it due to the traffic jams on the freeway. I could understand about missing a TV show, it is upsetting when you are forced to miss it. She and the fibber were also in the other group therapy I liked and the other two kids were different because they weren’t in the other class. Luckily no one ever found out about my diapers. I wore loose pants was why and loose shirts and wore a bunch of underwear over my diapers and stretch shorts to hide the sound. I just had a big butt was all and I was still skinny before I got puffy when my body changed. Now I have thinned down again. Okay enough of that.
“When will I be going to the school?” I asked.
“Maybe in two weeks,” said Mom. “I don’t know yet but sometime next month.”
“So I don’t get school all those two weeks?” I asked.
“Nope, so you are on vacation. You can spend your time cleaning out the litter box, walking Skippy and feeding him and the cats, doing some chores around the house.”
“Why will it be two weeks?” I asked.
“There is paper work to fill out, records to get from your other school and the principal has to approve to transfer you, stuff like that. Right now we just did the tour and I am going to fill out some paperwork,” said Mom. “It could even be a week and it depends how soon your old principal approves of the transfer but we’ll let you know when you start.”
Maybe going to this new school wouldn’t be so bad. After all Allie goes there and at least not everyone there would be a stranger to me. Plus I would have a fresh start and I could try and hide the fact I wear diapers and I would have to remember to take those pills every time I eat. Then that way no one would be able to smell it and they wouldn’t find out. I could even wear the new diapers there and everyone would think I have a fat butt. I could wear something under my clothes like my swimming suit to keep my diaper from ever sticking out. I am sure they would find out soon or later but I wanted to try and keep them from finding out as quick. Also no one there would know about my arrest so I had nothing to worry about.