Natalie vs Her Parents chapter 20

There was a long wait because I had been working on another Natalie story and am unsure if I will post it online or not. It takes place when she is a young adult.

Chapter 20

I heard some fighting again the next morning before Dad left for work. I was sleeping on the living room couch. I was up last night reading a book I found that belonged to Matthew or Kelly and it was called Petey. It was about a man with cerebral palsy and at age two he was put in an institution by his mother and the whole story took place in Montana. It was obvious he wore diapers because they mentioned how he needed to be changed and then it mentioned there was a foul odor in the car so they had to clean him up. He was transferred to some nursing home in his seventies and he befriended a boy named Trevor who stood up to the teen bullies who were always tormenting him outside his nursing home. But Petey was in a wheelchair. He was also called an idiot by doctors and that was what they were called then. But it was such a good book, based on a true story, I couldn’t stop reading it even when I was tired. Then I had fallen asleep when I got through with the book. I wish there would be a book about a person with incontinence who can walk fine and isn’t old. Now I was woken up with Dad talking.

“What is this?” Dad asked.
“The mess you made last night,” said Mom.
“And you didn’t clean it up?”
“You made it, you clean it.”
“Jesus, I don’t have time to pick it up,” said Dad.
“It will be there when you get back.”
“Great, now I will have this one my mind all day being anxious to get off work so I can get this cleaned up.”
“Don’t make a mess next time,” said Mom.
“Darn it, you and your tough love.”
Then I heard Dad picking stuff up and Mom told him he is going to be late.
“I gotta get this picked up,” he said.
“Fine, I will do it, get to work,” said Mom.
“Thanks darling,” and I heard kissing.
Yuck.
“Oh Glenny, I need some money,” said Mom.
“You used it all up already?” Dad asked.
“I want to get more diapers for myself. Those good ones I tried.”
“Those were expensive,” said Dad.
“Natalie likes them too and wants to switch to those.”
“But they’re so expensive I am not spending twenty five dollars again on a pack of fourteen.”
“Her dignity isn’t important? The others have been leaking on her.”
“That is because she hasn’t been changing them soon enough.”
“What is more important? Your drinking or your daughter?”
“You sometimes make me out to be a selfish guy you know that. Here, I will write you a check for thirty bucks and you only need them for at night. You don’t need them during the day. They should last you a fortnight. The others you can wear in the day time and remember to go to the bathroom more often so they last longer.”
“Well maybe if you cut back on your drinking, I won’t be having so many night time problems and some during the day now and I wouldn’t need them anymore. Just one of those times again. But just think about it, you will be spending less money again if you cut back and then you wouldn’t need to be buying more diapers,” said Mom. “Do you know how stressful this has all been for me?”
“You worry too much. If you just relax, then this will all go away. God maybe we should go back to cloth but then our kids will see them and find out and how would we explain your huge ass all of a sudden.”
“Natalie caught us the other day.”
“And we need to be more careful. Besides I don’t think she even noticed because she saw what we were doing and finally knew this time and stormed out before she could see anything else.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. They were talking about it where I could hear them. I put the pillow over my head.
I heard a little more talking and I was trying hard to drone them out. I hummed the James Bond theme.
“Here is the check, see ya,” I heard Dad say finally.
Then I heard him heading out the door. Mom was sure up early. I kept my eyes closed trying to get back to sleep again. I did not hear Mom picking up the mess.

I woke up again later and this time it was Kelly being up.
“That mess is still there? Dad is going to be so mad when he sees it,” she said.
“He made it,” said Mom.
“So why didn’t he pick it up?”
“I don’t know.”
“Why did he tear your whole room apart and the family room?” Kelly asked.
“He has been having a bad day at work for the past two days,” Mom replied.
“Why?”
“New boss and he lost a friend. But I also think it’s because I took his beer away.”
“Then maybe he should get help for it,” said Kelly. “I have never seen him get so upset over losing a friend. Getting a new boss must be bad too. If getting a new teacher is bad, just imagine what getting a new boss is like. Maybe he can play tricks on him too like he did with the substitute teachers.”
“No, you don’t want to mess with authority. That can get you fired,” said Mom.
Didn’t Mom tell me yesterday Dad once ordered a dozen pizzas for his old boss?
“We had a sub yesterday and Kaylee and I switched names and we kept switching them. It was a blast. Too bad she isn’t Mr. Gullible or we would have gotten her to do funny things.”
“I wish you wouldn’t play tricks on them,” said Mom. “Your father sure planted that idea in your head. You should give them a chance. I know how hard it is having a sub.”
“It was just a joke,” said Kelly. “Besides she didn’t even seem to care. She just laughed and finally told us ‘Okay Kaylee or Kelly or whoever you are, get to work.’”

I still never had my chance to play tricks on a substitute teacher. Last time I had one, we watched a movie instead. Then on Monday we had her again and this time we did school work and I wanted to play tricks on her but couldn’t think of any. Plus no one else was doing it. We had her for about a week and then our real teacher returned wearing a cast on her left arm and she had a brace around her neck. She got in a car accident due to someone crashing into the side of her car because they were not paying attention. The driver got a fine and had to pay for the damage and her injuries. I wonder what would have happened if the driver had no insurance. I hear you can go to jail and lose your license.

I heard the TV being turned on and Kelly eating her breakfast. I just stayed asleep. I got to hear her typical morning before school and Kelly would eat and not say much to our mother and when she would, it was just to ask questions. Then she went upstairs. I don’t know what else did she because I fell asleep and woke up with Mom dragging Matthew down the stairs. She was telling him “It wouldn’t hurt as much if you get your butt off the floor and get downstairs.”

I heard Matthew whining about being too tired.
“That is why you go to bed at a decent time. You wouldn’t be this tired if you go to bed when you should,” said Mom. “Get up or do you want me to keep dragging you down….okay that is a good boy. Get your Fruit Loops.”

Matthew always has Fruit Loops for breakfast with no milk. That is all he ever has for cereal. He rarely has any other kinds. I don’t understand why he would want to eat the same kind all the time and never anything else, which is so boring. If there aren’t anymore, he will throw a big hissy fit and refuse to eat anything else and will go hungry. He’s stubborn. So none of us eat his Fruit Loops. Dad thinks we shouldn’t revolve around him because he has to learn not everything will always go his way so he may not always get what he wants and he has to move on and learn to deal with it. We could all say the same thing about Dad’s OCD; move on, don’t let the litter box bother him or a dish being left in the sink and a game being left out or the movies not being organized, and not walk round the car five times because it looks so silly, etc. Nothing is going to revolve around him either and he can’t always have things his way either. Mom has used that argument against him and it always makes him mad. I don’t know why. He thinks Mom is too soft with us. It means she lets us do whatever we want and doesn’t give us limits. But what is he talking about? She tells us to pick up, I have been grounded by her or sent to my room when I was little or been given time outs, I have had to do chores with her when I was suspended from school for a week, she takes away our things when we don’t listen like computer or video games but she will just take the controllers away and the Game Boys, the computer cords and will put a password on the computer in the kitchen and now look what she was doing with Matthew. Dad also told me she didn’t really watch us when we were little so we were always in play pens with toys or Brian played with us and one time I got on the roof when I was three and a neighbor had to knock on our door to tell her I was up there. Mom did get me off the roof and she closed the window and never had it opened again. I somehow got the screen out and that was how I got on the roof. I also went outside too before Dad put locks on all the outside doors and I have wandered to the creek several times and I fell in once and luckily there was a neighbor nearby who saw me fall in and he ran and got me out of there and he was a teenager about thirteen years of age who had rescued a three year old girl because her mom got so caught up in something she forgot about her kids. That was when my dad decided to put extra locks on the doors. Mom was just more in her interests than she was with her kids. But I remember her doing things with us when we were little like cooking or making cookies or dying Easter Eggs or playing board games or doing puzzles or watching TV or playing video games or just going for a walk and working out in the yard together. She also read to us. I am not sure what Dad means when he says Mom didn’t pay that much attention to us. Why did he leave us with her then if he didn’t think she did?

I opened my eyes and looked and saw Matthew coming down the stairs slowly slouching his body. I closed them again and rested some more. I massaged the outside of my wet diaper.
I got to hear what mornings are like when Matthew is up for school and what he does before he leaves.
“C’mon Matthew, eat. Do you want to go to school hungry?” Mom asked.
Then I heard tapping in the kitchen.
“Stop tapping the spoon or I will take it away, its bothering my ears,” said Mom.
There was no tapping for a few minutes and then it started again.
“Matthew,” said Mom.
The sound stopped again. Then it started again about a few minutes later again and then I heard Matthew crying saying “No no.”
“I told you to stop tapping it,” Mom scolded. “Now you can eat it with your bare hands.”
Then I heard her put the spoon in the sink.

I felt warmth spreading in my diaper. Then the front felt wet. I am not fond of being wet in the front because I don’t like pee being on my front of the skin above my crotch. But that is what happens when I am lying down and I don’t let it bother me. I felt even more soaked.
I still heard the TV going.
Then Mom said, “It’s almost time to go, you’re not going to have time to brush your teeth.”
Then I heard Matthew whining again. “I’m not done yet.”
“You can finish these on the bus,” said Mom. “Brush your teeth or do you want to go to school with bad breath?”
I rested some more. I heard Matthew going up the stairs again. All morning long I heard Mom nagging him to get going and quit being a Pokey Little Puppy and be Sonic and get those rings. That was the name she used to call me for being slow in the morning. She also used to tell me to be Sonic and get those rings, her way of telling me to be faster. She will still call me those sometimes but I have learned to be faster in the morning. Matthew is still slow.
“Boy you are even slower than your sister was at your age,” I heard Mom say. “All I had to do was send her to school with bad breath and messy hair to make her be faster the next day because it caused her so much distress but with you, nooooo.”
Then I saw Mom was downstairs again and she had Matthew’s backpack, lunch pail and his shoes and hers in her hands. She had Matthew’s backpack hanging on her right arm.
“I think this will be the last time I let you stay up late again,” Mom told him as she was putting his shoes on him. “If you are going to be this slow and I have to nag you and listen to your fits-ow, don’t kick me.”
“No no no,” Matthew started saying again.
“I have to brush your hair so it’s won’t be disheveled or do you want to go to school like that and have kids tease you about it?” Mom asked. “It will only be a few seconds…See done? Good thing your hair is short.”

Wow, being a parent must be hard work if your child is being difficult. If that were me, I would have been a lot tougher.

Then I heard Mom grabbing his coat out of the closet and she put it on him and she put hers on too. She took his backpack and lunch pail and took his hand and they headed out the front door. “I don’t know if you are going to make it to the bus so I’m walking you there,” she was saying as they walked out and she closed it behind them. I still heard her talking still as they were walking down the driveway. Then I was home alone with our pets. I heard Skippy whimpering so I got up and let him outside in the backyard. The mess was still in the family room. My diaper crinkled loudly as I walked. I looked at the time and saw it was only eight thirty. His school started at nine. I remembered to put the cat food in the cat bowls for Mittens and Princess. The bowls were empty so I had to fill them again. I still felt tired so I went upstairs to my room and went back to bed.

I woke up again and it was close to ten. I got out of bed. I changed out of my wet diaper and put on a clean one. Then I took the trash out in the garage without even looking in the trash can. I grabbed a new trash liner and took it upstairs to my room. It must be expensive if I go through so many diapers. I don’t know how I am going to even afford to keep buying them when I grow up. Mom and Dad told me they will keep paying for them if I can’t afford them. Sometimes I do wish I had bladder and bowel control. Actually I feel that way a lot.

Mom was doing some cleaning again. Despite our home looking like a display in a home magazine, there is always cleaning that needs to be done. I had some breakfast again and put my bowl in the sink. I saw the dishwasher was loaded and it had no room for a bowl so I set it in the sink and went upstairs. I had to figure out how I was going to spend my day again. I spent my day yesterday helping Mom with the leaves because she suggested I do it with her so I know what to do. I had TV I could watch or the computer to be on or play video games to play. I wandered into Matthew’s bedroom and it was a mess. Legos all over, Knex, Lincoln Logs, Matchbox cars or Hotwheels, and blocks all lying over. I even saw the Sega games on the floor and they were used as blocks. I walked around and then I tripped over a toy and almost fell. I accidentally kicked over the fort he had made with his blocks and Sega games. Now Matthew was going to be mad when he sees it’s been wrecked. I saw Castle of Illusion lying on the floor. Hey I hadn’t played that in a while. Then I felt like playing it. I put it in the game system and turned it on and the TV. I sat down in the chair made by Fisher Price. I played it until I got to the fourth level and those annoying Alphabets kept jumping and hitting me and those caterpillars were in my way too so I kept dying. I got bored with the game and turned it off.

I walked around the house figuring out what to do next. I saw Mom outside raking leaves again and she was putting them in a black trash bag. The mess was still in the family room. I walked around the house some more and then I decided to watch GoldenEye. I watched it in the master bedroom. I could just pretend school was out for everyone and I can just do what I always do on my days off from school and Matthew and Kelly are not home and they are somewhere else like at a friend’s. Then I heard Mom calling my name. “What?” I shouted.
“I am going to leave for a little bit so you will be home alone for a little while,” said Mom from the staircase.
“Okay,” I shouted.

I heard Mom leave and then I was home alone again. I watched more of the movie and then the phone rang. I hate answering the phone because of the interruptions and then having to understand what they are saying on the other end and then having to write a message and then remember to give it to someone and I find that so hard for some reason. It’s too much for me to write down and what to write and then I am not sure how to give it to someone and explain to them what it’s about because I could barely remember all the details. I find it easier to just let it ring and let them leave a message. It’s easier that way. I know someday I will have to answer the phone and get used to it if I ever have kids or when I live on my own unless I have my own kids answer it for me. But I will still have to answer it when they are in school. I just ignored the phone. They can just leave a message if it’s that important. The movie made me feel like playing the game but it was at Brian’s apartment. I could get in the car and drive there to play it but I don’t even have my license yet and I don’t remember where he lives and he could be gone when I get there. I could go to Allie’s house and play it but I didn’t remember where they lived either and wouldn’t it be using them if I just went there just to play their game and then leave?

Mom came home right before the movie ended and she had a paper sack in her hand and she put it in the master bedroom closet. “What did you get?” I asked as she left the room.
“Nothing,” she said.
I waited until she was downstairs before looking in the closet to see what was in there. My parents have a rule about snooping. None of us kids are allowed to snoop in their bedroom and they can both tell who has messed with their stuff unless you put it back the exact way they had it. I think they have that rule because they hide presents and stuff and also Mom doesn’t like it when people mess up her things and Dad hates it when someone puts his clothes out of order and then they are not folded right. We aren’t even allowed up in the attic either nor under the house where we store things. We have some old toys packed away, baby stuff, Christmas stuff, Halloween decorations, old records and 8 tracks, and our old Nintendo system and the games. They don’t want us to mess things up in there and making a mess. The attic is above the garage and under the house is like a basement but you have to go outside to get in there and we have a door under the deck. Then inside is all concrete and we have lights under there. But I sometimes go in them anyway and they never seem to notice someone had been in there unless there is a huge mess or someone had dumped things out of a box.

I couldn’t find the paper sack anywhere when I looked so I gave up looking. I watched the ending of the movie and turned it off and hit the rewind button. Normally you would expect a master bedroom closet to be filled with shoes and clothes but it’s mostly filled with stuff like it is storage and there are some clothes in there. Mom and Dad don’t have very many clothes. Not compared to other people. Women normally have more clothes than men and shoes too and my mom doesn’t have that many clothes or shoes. Another strange thing about my parents. Most of their clothes are in the drawers and in the closet are just sweaters and dresses and some of Dad’s clothes. Mom will not wear skirts but she will wear long dresses but not short dresses and when she does wear her dresses, she has on stretch pants under them because she can’t stand her own skin touching. She doesn’t like it on hard surfaces either or on leather. She also rips tags out of her clothes and I can’t remember the last time she had bought clothes. Then she always has to wash them when they are brand new and she does the same with panties too. Dad also washes his when they are new because he doesn’t know what hands have been on them or if anyone has sneezed on them or who have tried them on while Mom washes them to make them soft and get rid of a certain feeling. Dad will also make us wash all our new clothes after we get some and he makes Matthew and Kelly wash their underwear. I used to think everyone washed their clothes when they are brand new and also wash sheets too but then I found out not everyone washes them. Dad told me some people are not worried about what hands have been on them and Mom told me not everyone is bothered by stiff fabric all new clothes have. Mom usually buys clothes at second hand stores because they have been worn and have been washed so the fabric feels better on her skin. Dad is sort of a germaphobe. Luckily he doesn’t have to wash his hands all the time and he just uses wipes if he touches something dirty. I remember going through an OCD phase of washing my hands because kids kept saying how dirty I was and how I never shower so I got obsessed with being clean so I was always washing my hands to keep them clean and I was afraid of getting dirty or else kids would give me a hard time about smelling. I always had to shower every three days and then it was every day. I am not as OCD about it as I was or else I would have cared about waking up in a wet bed or feel distressed over sweat and getting dirty when I know I can always shower and being anxious to change my pants when my diaper leaks. My obsession with cleanness came from other kids. I used to be obsessed about being normal so I was always focusing on trying to be normal and it was so exhausting. I couldn’t even be myself and I had to watch what I did with my body and I couldn’t even move my body around while sitting and standing fearing kids might find me weird and see it as showing off. I had to be careful to not move my head back and forth when I ran. Be careful not bumping into other kids or they would think I was mean, I was even afraid to talk fearing I might say something mean or have kids think I am stupid or make fun of the way I speak. Now I don’t care anymore what people think of me, they can think I am rude for all I care or mean or retarded or weird or a show off. I would rather be myself and people don’t know me. Now kids have seemed to quit saying how weird I am or what a show off I am or how insane I am and crazy and they moved on. I could remember being ten and I was trying to get on these bars so I use my feet to push them on the bar and another girl in fourth grade said while pointing at me “See that is showing off.” She was the ring leader of accusing me of showing off and other kids in her grade picked up after it.

I went on the computer and I was reading adult baby and diaper lover sites again when Kelly came home from school. I heard Mom asking her how school was and Kelly saying “fine.” I heard her come upstairs and she came in our room and just tossed her things on the floor and some papers fell out of her binder. Kelly picked them up and put them on our dresser. She had her shoes off but she still had on her coat. She left our bedroom again. I kept on reading the stories on a website I was on. It was called Lil Princess Tigger’s Nursery. It was made by a twenty year old woman from Texas and she was an adult baby and her husband was her dad she called him but he looked too young to be her dad. Maybe she pretends he is her father just like she pretends she is a baby girl. She also wore the same kind of diapers I wore and liked peeing in them but not poop so she didn’t do that in them. Lucky her. She even wrote stories too and one of them was about a kindergartener who started wetting the bed and her older brother was helping her hide it by helping her washing the sheets before their mother got up. Then the mother finds out and buys her diapers instead for at night. Then she eventually starts regressing to be a baby again and she even gets a car seat. Even her friend wore them at night for bed wetting and then they get taken away from her by her step mom when she caught her wearing them during the day. Then she spanked her for wetting the bed the next morning. Then the story ended because no new chapter was posted so I read the others and they were about an adult being a baby and their parents take care of them treating the like they are a real child. I kept picturing them being a real baby because of them pretending to be one but I knew they were adults. One of them was being babysat by a bunch of men and her dad comes home and gets mad at them for not taking properly care of her. The dad changes her and then he does something gross with the other men in front of her and then explains to her that daddy has to do it to feel better.
After I got done reading all the stories I heard Matthew come home.
“Uh Matthew, where do your shoes go?” I heard Mom asking.
I was back on the incontinent support board reading posts there. I saw some replies to mine about The Misadventures of Being Incontinent. I got sympathy for what I had to go through with the cops. “Damn, corrupt officers you have there in town, I hope you filed a complaint against them for failing to get you checked out with medical staff and for being unprofessional.”
Another post wrote “Didn’t they give you a breathalyzer test?”
I replied to it answering “No.”
Then I had a strange reply saying “This is a board for incontinent folks, not for incontinent wannabes.”
The next reply was by a person defending me saying “She really is incontinent, I believe she suffered a injury after being in a car wreck and it left her with disabilities so her mother always had to change her because she was unable to do it herself.”
The person replied back saying sorry and they apologize. I couldn’t understand why that person thought I was one of those people. I didn’t even know why he had wrote that and now I know it was because he had mistaken me as being one of those people.
I read other posts about their misadventures of incontinence. One of them said he peed in the doctor’s office while he was being examined. I’ve done that too so I replied saying it has happened to me so many times and I always left my diaper on whenever I had to take my clothes off and put on one of those things they give you. It’s like a robe thing. I even remember pooping in my diaper right when we arrived at the theater to see Home Alone 2 and we didn’t bring any extras with so Mom had to take me home to change me while everyone else in the family got tickets and saved us seats and then bring me back to the theater and I missed the beginning of the movie. Yeah always bring extra ones with and Mom would have changed me there in the car instead of taking me home to do it if we had brought an extra one. I remember the part we came in at was when the family was in the living room having a meeting after the incident at the pageant. I had to wait until it got to video to see the beginning. Back then I just thought Kevin was a naughty boy because he was always getting into trouble but I realize now it’s just his parents being stupid and his oldest brother is a bully who picks on him and his siblings seem to be mean to him too. Dad told me that is the way it is in families, typical of siblings to pick on each other and he told me he always picked on his younger brothers and played tricks on them because he was the oldest. I’ve been mean to Matthew and Kelly when they were little. Since Matthew always got upset when one thing be moved in his room or to another spot, he would still carry on even after he saw where it was at and even if you showed him where it was. I just started moving his stuff anyway just to make him mad because he was always over reacting and I figured it will get him over it. Then Mom started doing it to me and it was always pissing me off and upsetting me because she was making major messes in my room and messing up my doll house and my toys and messing up my book order and she told me she will stop moving my things and messing up my room if I leave my brother’s stuff alone. She also told me then she used to do the same thing to her brother John. Except Mom didn’t allow me to be mean to my siblings so I was always in my room or being sent to the stairs or having my Barbies being taken or being made to come inside and one time she didn’t let me get ice cream while she let Brian, Matthew, and Kelly get some from the ice cream man who would come to our neighborhood. Sometimes parents don’t even care if their kids bully each other because “it’s normal” but I call bullshit on that. Just because it’s normal doesn’t make it okay. Brian never picked on me. He had always been a good brother to all of us and he babysat us and took us out sometimes and would take us to the creek or take us to the sledding hill whenever we had snow and take us to look at houses that were being built in our neighborhood. Our neighborhood was created in the early eighties and they built houses in the early and mid-eighties and then they added another subdivision in the late eighties and then they added more in the early nineties. Last time they built a house was in 1996. Our home is one of the original homes in the neighborhood and we are the second owners living here. Our home was only a year old when my parents bought it. Almost everything in our home is still original. Only things they have changed were one of the sinks and toilets in the powder room and the toilet in the kids bathroom and the fridge and the dishwasher and I can remember them getting a new light fixture for the entry way and putting up new lights in the kitchen. I also remember them redoing the back deck when I was five years old and putting down cement under the deck. They also put up the porch swing and the railing on the front deck. The railing on the staircase isn’t original because Mom and Dad put in a wooden railing because they didn’t like having a metal railing. They thought it was ugly. It was the style back in the days when the house was built. Luckily there was no wood paneling. I hate paneling in homes, it’s ugly and too dark.

I finished reading the board and went on the Diaper Story’s site. I read more stories there. I decided to start posting there as Incontinent Natalie. I was even chatting to one of my online friends who I had only known for a month. I was telling him about my family and he was telling me about his. He was just another incontinent buddy, not one of those diaper wannabees.
“Interesting family you have,” he wrote. “A dad who is an alcoholic and has obsessive compulsive disorder, a mom with a developmental disorder and with other problems.”
“She has anxiety,” I wrote, “and also learning problems I think. She couldn’t help us with homework anymore and she dropped out of collage because it was too hard,” and I hit send.

Udontsmokebrew79: sister with a learning disability

Incontinent Natalie: my dad has it too

Udontsmokebrew79: brother with depression and brother with other problems I don’t know what he has and you say you have learning issues too and behavior

Incontinent Natalie: I have a learning disability and problems with socializing, and I also have depression, short attention span, hyperactivity, I don’t know. I seem to have lot of things wrong with me. My little brother seems to have some of the same issues I have too like with having friends and he has a hard time with english but he is good at math, I also suffered a head injury once so that is also part of my problem. it effects how I learn and process things. I also have issues with my balance so I am not very good in warm ups and I can’t walk in a straight line, I can but I stumble, it used to be worse as a kid but now I can do more like walk on my heels and I am not so clumsy like I used to be. I sometimes wonder if I have a developmental disorder.

It took me forever to write that I don’t mean literally, it took me a while to type it all because I had to think of my thoughts and not lose track of them and type it out without any errors.

Udontsmokebrew79: y u say that

Incontinent Natalie: I act younger than my age and I also feel younger too and mom has the same problems I have but hers are worse and she was handicapped when she was a kid because she was severely developmentally delayed

Udontsmokebrew79: lot of people act younger than their age or feel younger, that doesn’t mean you have a developmental disorder and them.

Incontinent Natalie: but I feel retarded

Udon’tsmokebrew79: you don’t seem like you are, is your mom?

Incontinent Natalie: no I have always been behind other kids growing up. I don’t know how to explain it. I know I am not like a normal teen because I am not into guys or fashion or into sports like they are or chit chat and I just do computer and play video games and watch TV, I pretty much do the same things all the time everyday

UdontSmokebrew79: some people are just into different things, that doesn’t mean they have a problem or a disorder. Plus lot of people do the same things all the time, when you have a hobby, you do it a lot

Incontinent Natalie: but that is all I ever do I don’t do anything else and when I do it’s not often

UdontSmokebrew79: do you have any friends?

Incontinent Natalie: not really

Udontsmokebrew79: why

Incontinent Natalie: they got boring and we don’t have anything in common and I do better with little kids but I am too old for them. plus I like to be in control. it’s too much work doing what they want to do

Udontsmokebrew79: so is it your way or the highway?

Incontinent Natalie: Huh

Udontsmokebrew79: it means it’s your way and it has to be that way, you won’t accept their ideas and it has to be your way, not what they want to do too, things have to be your way

Incontinent Natalie: I don’t know. I have been accused of wanting things my way. I don’t tell other people what to do and I let them do what they want, I just leave

Udontsmokebrew79: thats pretty much it. It’s your way or the highway so you leave if things aren’t going the way you want it

Incontinent Natalie: is that a problem?

Udontsmokebrew79: it can be

Incontinent Natalie: why

Udontsmokebrew79: if people are doing what you want and then you don’t do what they want so you leave, that makes you come off as selfish you know

Incontinent Natalie: I can’t help it, I get frustrated when they don’t do things right and if they want to do it their way, fine, I will leave and they can have their own fun. I am not having any fun if I have to do things I don’t like and I get bored and I never understood why it was a problem I preferred to play alone when I was little and my teacher had a problem with it. I even remember my own dad telling me Natalie, why aren’t you playing with the other kids, you are missing out on the fun and I didn’t care because I was having my own fun and I wasn’t interested in what they were doing. I only played with them when I felt like it

Udontsmokebrew79: it’s all about social interaction and learning social skills. That is why parents want their kids to play with other kids and interact

Incontinent Natalie: I did play with other kids I had friends

Udontsmokebrew79: but was it when things were going your way and would you always leave when things stopped going your way?

Incontinent Natalie: I guess

Udontsmokebrew79: no wonder you have problems. people probably think youre arrogant when you do that

Incontinent Natalie: why

Udontsmokebrew79: because you are only with them when it’s something you like and then you leave when they do things you don’t like

Incontinent Natalie: how does that make me arrogant

Udontsmokebrew79: good question. They might think you think youre better than them

Incontinent Natalie: thats dumb

Udontsmokebrew79: well if it’s always your way people will might think that

Incontinent Natalie: Well thanks now I will just isolate myself even more and not ever be with anyone again because I don’t want to be forced to do things I don’t like so I won’t do what I like with them. I will do everything alone

Udontsmokebrew79: wow that won’t get you anywhere in life

Incontinent Natalie: I don’t need friends

I went back to reading the forum and the bar at the bottom of the screen flashed. I clicked on it and read the IM.

Udontsmkebrew79: but how will you get a job? They always ask for references, they always want people with experience and friends is what you have and they happen to know other people and that is how you get a job and volunteer because they recommend you to others and they ask for your help or hire you, you need to be flexible when you have a job because you would be with other people and your boss may want you to do something you don’t agree with or like and it’s his way or the highway because he is the boss and he can fire you if you don’t do what he says

I typed back and hit send.

Incontinent Natalie: when I work, of course it will be their way because they are the boss but I am not at work so I am free to do my own thing, not be forced to do what I don’t want to do

Udontsmokebrew79: when you get out in the real world, it’s going to be very hard finding employment when you have no friends because there are recommendation letters they want, references and they don’t want family members or relatives used as a reference, and what are you going to put down for your reference?

Incontinent Natalie: I don’t know

Udontsmokebrew79: see?

Incontinent Natalie: well my mom says I can live with her as long as I want

Udontsmokebrew79: you can’t live with your parents for the rest of your life. that would be lazy and a burden to them

Incontinent Natalie: well its no one’s business how I live my life

Udontsmokebrew79: I wouldn’t want my own child living off me for free, I would kick them out and they would be forced to go find friends and socialize and get a job

Incontinent Natalie: I’m glad you aren’t my dad he would never kick me out either

Udontsmokebrew79: its easy for them to say but when their kids actually don’t ever move out and don’t ever get a job, they change their minds and go against their own word and throw you out

This man was starting to piss me off and getting me upset.

Incontinent Natalie: mine would never do that. I would go out and get a job and they wouldn’t throw me out if I couldn’t get one. I don’t want to be an adult because of this. people expect more out of you when you are older and then a grown up and no wonder I was afraid of growing up when I was little

Udontsmokebrew79: part of life. get used to it

Incontinent Natalie: Unless I find a guy who doesn’t mind me not working like my dad. my mom doesn’t work and hasn’t since I was four because she was never good with finding a job either and she always quit so he doesn’t make her work and just lets her stay home. so why would they kick me out, he will mind as well kick my mother out too

Udontsmokebrew79: whatever, if they want you to live off of them for free, their business not mine. It’s their problem. just don’t get on welfare or foodstamps or other benefits wasting peoples tax money. no one wants to support someone staying at home playing video games all day long and computer and watching tv and not work. those will make you fat by the way because you wouldn’t be getting any exercise. I also wouldnt want my own partner living off me for free

Incontinent Natalie: my mom was lucky then to meet a guy who decided to just take care of her and she just stays at home and takes care of her kids and the house

Udontsmokebrew79: and what about when all you kids are out of school?

Incontinent Natalie: he won’t throw her out. how is that any different than being retired? they don’t work either

Udontsmokebrew79: that’s different. when you become a senior citizen, you retire so younger people can have jobs

Incontinent Natalie: don’t marry someone with a disability then

Udontsmokebrew79: people with disabilities can work. even retarded people have jobs and work even though they live in group homes or still with their families. I have seen a guy with Downs syndrome working at safeways bagging groceries. if he can do it, so can you and your mother

I blocked him. I hated him and his ignorance. He didn’t know my parents. I wish I could stay a kid forever so people won’t expect more out of me. That feeling was coming back.

I kept reading the forum trying to keep my mind off the guy. Then I got off and headed downstairs because of the rumbling in my stomach. I noticed the family room was all cleaned up. I jumped. “Whoa, what did you do?” I asked Mom.
“I cleaned it of course, what do you think?” she said.
“I thought you were going to have Dad pick it up?” I asked.
Mom had told me earlier she was leaving it for Dad to do and she just told him she would pick it up just to get him out of the house.
“If he is in a bad mood again when he gets home, the last thing I need is a worse temper from him so I cleaned it up so it won’t make it worse. Things must be perfect as possible so his bad temper won’t get worse.”
“But you said you were leaving it for him to do,” I pointed out.
“I changed my mind. Besides if he saw I had lied to him, he probably wouldn’t trust me again. I know I wouldn’t if someone lied to me so why would he trust me?”
I went to the fridge and looked to see what I should eat. I decided on some ice cream so I made myself a bowl and put the rest back and headed upstairs.

Dad came home around five this time. I heard him pull into the garage but he never came inside. Instead I heard a sound outside instead. I got out of the chair and opened the window and saw what dad was doing. He was beating on one of the Pumpkin leaf bags using a baseball bat. Then I heard someone come outside.
“What are you doing?” Mom asked.
“Letting out my anger,” Dad said firmly.
“What happened?” Mom asked.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Dad said firmly again as he beat the bag. Then I saw Matthew coming with another bat and he started to beat on the other bag too.
“I see I have made punching bags,” said Mom. “Better than tearing the house apart again.”
“Whenever I feel like beating people up when I am mad, I play Street Fighter or Streets of Rage pretending they are those people I am beating up,” I shouted out the window.
I saw a neighbor walking by with his dog and he looked at Matthew and Dad. I heard Mom go back inside. I closed the window and sat back in the chair.
At five thirty, I got off the computer and went in the master bedroom to watch TV. Dad was in there resting, he was sitting in the chair with his hands over his head.
“What’s wrong daddy?” I asked.
“If I tell you and not tell Mom about this, I will buy you a Nintendo 64 game with the system,” said Dad.
“Okay,” I said.
“Close the door,” Dad ordered.
I closed it.
“I miss my beer. It always kept me from acting like this and if your mother knows this, she will think I am addicted. They have always been my tool to help keep me calm and I can’t wait until Saturday again, then I can go back to my beer and be happy again. My boss has threatened to fire me if I don’t pick up the slack and I can’t tell him it’s because I don’t have beer or he will think I am an alcoholic and my coworker who was my friend accuses me of being selfish and tells me I don’t know how lucky I am.”
“Mom says you got a new boss,” I pointed out.
“Yes I got a new boss so some things have changed. I never liked new people.”
“Why?” I asked.
“I don’t know, they make me uncomfortable. Things are different then and things change but it’s part of life so I drink and it helps me relax and deal with it and your mother takes it from me. So with the stress of keeping my job or not is tearing me apart inside. I don’t even know why I am telling you this, you are the sort of person to worry about stuff like what if this happens or that happens so I am sure you are going to worry now about me getting fired.”
“Get a new job,” I said.
“And that is also stressful it will all be a new environment. Even I drank back then when we moved here and once I got settled in, I cut back and didn’t need it anymore. Your mother never had a problem with my drinking until now. I didn’t know her sister’s ex-husband took effect on her with his drinking and it clouded her judgment.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I mean affect her thinking and now she thinks all drinkers turn into Jeffery. She is so black and white about everything.”
“I keep hearing that sometimes and what do people mean when they say it?”
“Black and white?” Dad asked.
“Yes.”
“Another way of saying she is literal. She’s always been that way and sometimes it’s hard and it causes problems.”
“How?”
“I can’t think of any examples right now-oh I know one, with my drinking. She takes it from me and makes me make a deal with her I will go a week without it to see how it goes and to show her I am not “addicted” and now look what is happening to me. She doesn’t get it.”
“But I think you are addicted,” I said. “I learned in school about it that when people are addicted, they get like this, very irritable and angry, have wild emotions, have a hard time with sleep or have very bad dreams when they don’t drink.”
“There you are, black and white too,” Dad sighed. “Just like your mother. You both are except with you, you can see the shades of gray if we help you and when you are calm you can see it on your own. I wonder if she taught it to you or if you got it from her, hard to say. You both argue when you think you’re right but yet when you both disagree with each other, you can both do it in a normal way without it turning into a battleground and I wonder how you do it.”
I laughed. I pictured the town Battle Ground being in our home when we argue. Battle Ground is another town in our area that is southeast of here. It’s about a ten minute drive to get there from our neighborhood. It about the same size as our town but ours is a little bigger. We have only gone there for parades or soccer games or to go to Battle Ground Lake and we have looked around in stores there. Our town used to be a lot bigger but their population has caught up to us almost. It skyrocketed in the nineties just like ours did…
“Whenever your older brother disagreed, they both fought and your mother couldn’t understand his views and she was always “correcting him,” it was a battleground. I still can’t disagree with her without worrying it will be turn into one. You must have some gift,” Dad told me.
“I don’t do anything different,” I said. “I just talk to her like how I talk to everyone else. I don’t even think of how to do it.”
“That’s what makes you special,” said Dad. “You don’t challenge her and you know how to talk to her without getting her upset or turning it into a battleground. Maybe it has to do with how you approach people and communicate, you do it differently. You have explained social things to her and she gets it but when I would try, she wouldn’t get it. She’s lucky to have you.”
“I don’t even know how to challenge her. How do I do it?”
“Disagree with her and keep arguing with her about it and not stepping down and not let her over rule your thoughts. That’s how you do it. But then it results with silent treatments and insults being hurled at you and her getting very upset and breaking down.”
“Has she done it to you?”
“Oh yes. But I see as part of her personality and I pick my battles. In her mind she isn’t arguing and she thinks she is trying to get people to understand and she thinks they don’t understand and it’s not always her intent to argue. She likes to get her thoughts out there and have them be heard. She probably doesn’t even notice but when she starts arguing with me, I just drop the topic and not say anything else about it and the discussion ends just like that.”
“So if I am talking and someone stops talking about it by not saying anything else, it means I was arguing with them?” I asked.
“Not necessarily, it can mean that but it doesn’t always mean that. Sometimes people have nothing else to add or don’t know how to keep the conversation going or they were not interested in the topic.”
“So how do I tell the difference?” I asked.
“I can’t explain it. It’s not something you can tell someone because we don’t know either. All this social stuff is complicated I know. It doesn’t come natural to everyone so they have a harder time picking up the cues and those who can do it can’t explain it because it’s something they know and it’s not black and white. What I mean this time by that is it’s not the same every time and doesn’t mean it every time so it’s hard to explain it to people who can’t read social cues or who have a hard time with it. You can read them but not all of them, you still miss them. Your mother misses more of them. But everyone misses them sometimes but some people just miss them more often.”

The thought of Dad drinking and never quitting and him raging scared me. Is this what he meant by he will explode if he doesn’t drink? Rip the house apart, now he was beating the bags with a bat which was better than ripping the house apart. I sighed.
“Natalie, what’s wrong?” Dad asked.
“I’m scared,” I said.
“What are you scared of?”
“You drinking,” I said.
“Why does it scare you?”
“I am afraid you will turn mean and start beating Mom or hurt one of us,” I said
“Natalie, honey, I would never lay a finger on any of you.”
“But every time I see a person being an alcoholic or read about it, they are always mean and they turn into abusers,” I said. “It even happened in the story I read online. This man was a nice man and then he starts to drink and he turns mean and hits his wife and she divorces him and kicked him out of the house, and then months later he comes back and kidnaps his children and abuses them.”
Dad sat down. “Natalie, come here,” he said pointing to his lap.
I walked over to him and he put me on his lap. It felt weird.
“I used to hold you on my lap when you were little and rub your hair like this,” he said as he showed me. “Remember me doing this?” he asked he rubbed my hair.
“No,” I said.
“I did it a lot and you loved being held and having your head rubbed. I can’t remember how old you were the last time I did this. Kids grow fast and it feels like yesterday when you were three years old and liked being on my lap. You used to climb on my lap and want to be held and have me rub your hair. You also used to crawl in our bed and we would wait until you fell asleep before carrying you back to your room. We did that to all you kids.”
Dad kept rubbing my hair and I stayed on his lap. I kept my arms around him and rested my head on his shoulder and had my legs up over the chair leg.
“I’m not going to turn into a mean man don’t worry about it. I will tell you what, if I do ever beat one of you or get mean, I will cut back on the drinking okay?” said Dad.
“Okay,” I said. “But you pushed me hard against the wall when you went upstairs last night,” I said.
“I am very sorry I did that,” said Dad. “I was upset and in a bad mood and you were in the way so I pushed you aside. I even pushed your mother too against the TV set because she wouldn’t let go of me.”

My diaper felt soaked and I was worried about it leaking. I felt for the leaks but Dad told me to not worry about it because his pants can always be washed and he can get cleaned off. “I’m used to having piss on me thanks to your mother,” he concluded.
“Has Mom ever peed on you or something?” I asked.
“No I have woken up in her pee because she would pee the bed and my morning routine would always be showering to get the pee smell off. I never let it bother me and now it does. I just wish she wear protection and get over the trauma of being humiliated with them.”
“I thought she was wearing them again?” I said.
“Oh you know about it, she must have told you or you saw them,” said Dad.
“She told me and I was there when she talked about it in the car with you and she asked for a diaper sample at the store remember?” I said.
“Oh, that’s right well now you know you are not alone,” said Dad. "“She still resists wearing them and I have to fight her to wear them to bed and she knows there is nothing wrong with needing them but she still doesn’t like the idea of having to use them. Her drinking water past six and asking for one of the samples at the medical shop made me happy. It showed she had some confidence about it. She will be fine with using them and then won’t be fine with it all of a sudden. I know she has wet them on purpose and I don’t understand that but maybe she does it for security and I have never said anything about it. I would pretend it was just an accident.”
“Why?”
"Dad shrugged. “Didn’t want to embarrass her I guess. I just figured if she liked wetting in them, at least she was content wearing them and didn’t hate having to need them. I think it may have do to with the trauma. I think nappy humiliations are cruel. All it does it traumatize the child and then they end up resenting nappies and not wear them or they get in nappy humiliation and love being humiliated with it when they are an adult or like doing it to someone else. Your mum will be fine with one on and then all of a sudden at night she won’t wear one to bed so I sleep somewhere else.”

Then we heard Mom calling everyone for dinner.
“Time to eat, let’s go,” said Dad as he patted my shoulder.
I felt happy this topic ended, now I knew Mom wet her pants on purpose in her diaper. I wonder if she liked being wet too like me or liking the warm feeling. I got that thought out of my head. I couldn’t imagine her doing it because it felt creepy.
We got up and left the bedroom. I went downstairs to my spot. I turned the TV but Dad told me to turn it off because it’s family meal time. I felt mad because I was going to miss my show. Now I wanted to eat fast. Mom had to pull Matthew downstairs.

During meal time, I felt anxious for everyone to get finished. I tapped my foot and bounced my legs. Dad was too stubborn to even let me leave the table so I don’t even know why I bother to eat my food fast. I can’t even leave the table until everyone is finished and then we all have to help clear the table and clean the kitchen. But Matthew doesn’t even have to do it except clear his own spot. Maybe if I act just like him, I won’t have to clean the kitchen or help clear the table but I am afraid of getting in trouble for breaking the dishes for dropping them and for making messes.
“When are you guys done? Hurry up,” I said.
“Natalie, be patient, don’t be rude,” said Dad.
“I am missing my show,” I said.
“TV is not important and lot of it is bad for you.”
I tapped my finger on my glass as I waited.
“Quit it Natalie,” Kelly ordered
I ignored her.
“Natalie!” Kelly yelled.
“What is the matter?” Mom asked.
“She won’t stop tapping the glass, it’s annoying,” said Kelly.
“I’m bored,” I said.
“Get a book,” said Dad.
“I can’t,” I said.
“Why?” dad asked.
“Because I can’t leave the table,” I replied.
“You’re excused to get a book to read,” said Dad.
I got out of my chair.
“But come back,” said Dad.
I went upstairs and I decided to see what the episode was on the show I was missing. I turned on the TV in the master bedroom. I turned to Nickelodeon and watched the show. I got distracted and stayed and watched the show instead until I heard Dad calling my name. He was upstairs and I heard him in the hallway.
“What’s taking so long?” Dad asked.
I heard him coming so I raced to the TV and turned it off. Dad was right out the door when I came out.
“What are you doing?” he scolded.
“Looking for a book to read,” I said.
“I heard the TV on in there.”
“I don’t see it on,” I said.
“I told you to come back to the table,” Dad ordered me.
“I was going to come back to the table,” I said.
“You knew what I meant, I told you to get a book to read and come back.”
“And I was going to do that,” I said.
Dad slapped my face all of a sudden. “Stop being a smart ass. I can’t even trust you to come up here alone to get a book to read without you watching TV instead?” he yelled.
“Then don’t make me miss my TV shows,” I said.
“Natalia,” he yelled.
He grabbed my arm and yelled at me some more as he pulled me downstairs. It hurt when he was grabbing my arm. He took me downstairs and back to the kitchen.
“What happened up there?” Mom asked.
“She was watching TV instead and I caught her and she became a smart ass about it,” Dad replied and he pushed me to my chair.
“What was she doing?” Mom asked.
“Being deliberately obtuse when I told her to get a book to read and she watches TV instead and tells me she was going to get a book to read and come back to the table. She knew what I meant. She knows the rules for dinner so therefore she knew what I meant.”
I sat silently at the table with my head down crying. I hated family meals and like them better when it’s Mom and us only. At least she lets us eat and leave and lets us what TV while we eat. I hate it when Dad is home for dinner. It’s more stressful. Things are more relaxing and calming for me when he isn’t here for dinner.
“Natalie, put your head up,” Dad ordered.
“Glen, leave her alone,” said Mom.
“Why do you let our children get away with everything?” Dad asked. “Then they end up acting like spoiled brats when I try and make them do normal family time.”
“You make her miss whatever she does every night and she is upset but at least she is staying at the table and not breaking down,” said Mom.
“She needs to learn that not everything will always go her way, things happen and sometimes we can’t always do what we always do,” said Dad.
“Do you have any idea what I always do for you?” Mom said. “Maybe I should stop cleaning the house and make everything perfect for you. After all things don’t revolve around you either and then you can feel what our kids feel when you break their routines. See how you like that?”
“Why do you always have to play these games?” Dad asked not sounding happy.
“Can you two please not fight?” Kelly asked.
“Anything you don’t like is a game,” Mom said.
“No, you always play games to try and get your way and to prove you are “right,”” Dad said in a unhappy tone.
“Well I don’t see how me keeping the house clean and picking up the family room just so you can be calm and not be all stressed out and have anxiety all day long and our kids needing to play on the computer or Kelly needing to be with her friends or them needing to play video games or watch their TV shows just so they can be happy, have no breakdowns, no anxiety, are any different,” Mom shouted.
“Oh jesus, the black and white thinking again,” Dad yelled.
I saw Mom rolling her eyes when I looked up. “Yeah every time I am right, it’s me doing black and white thinking, same as when I point out the bullshit,” she said.
Mom cleared her spot and brought her plate to the sink. I saw her scooping stuff off the plate and into a small bucket she uses for composting. Dad cleared his spot too as he was sighing. Kelly moved her food around on her plate. Matthew was moving his body around in his chair. I was just staring at the kitchen floor. Then I finally cleared my spot. Since they cleared theirs, I figured it was okay for me to leave the table.
I just stood there waiting for Dad to tell me what to do next.
“Can I be excused?” Matthew asked.
“Clear your spot,” said Mom.
Matthew brought his plate and silverware to the sink and then he went back to the table and brought his cup to the sink.
“Now you’re excused,” said Mom.
Dad sighed again as Matthew ran out of the room
“What’s the matter?” Mom asked.
“Nothing,” said Dad.
“You sighed like something was wrong,” said Mom.
“Just because I sigh does not mean something is wrong every time, jesus,” said Dad.
“Can I be excused too?” I asked.
“Yes,” said Mom.
I jumped up and down and ran upstairs. I turned the TV back on. Matthew was in his room playing so he wasn’t even in my way. I watched more of As Told by Ginger and then when the commercial came on, I left the bedroom to get something I overheard Kelly talking downstairs to Dad.
“Uh Dad?” I heard Kelly say.
“What is it princess?” he asked back.
“Mom may think she is always right and argue about it but this time I am afraid she is right,” said Kelly.
“What do you mean princess?” Dad asked.
“We always have to keep this house looking like it’s on some display, this is so re- uh gay. You went on about the litter box not being cleaned the other day and you get upset when there is a dirty dish being left in the sink and you always feel the need to recheck everything after you have done it once or walk around the car four times before getting in and we always have to bend over backwards for you and then you want my sister to miss her show and get over it, why can’t you get over all this too Dad?”
“Now you’re doing black and white thinking,” said Dad.
“It’s because it is black and white,” said Kelly.
“I have OCD.”
“Why do you need to have OCD to have things go your way? It’s not fair,” Kelly shouted. “I want to stay at my friend’s houses as long as I can without needing to be home at seven on school nights but wait because I don’t have OCD, I don’t get that right. You also get mad at us if we cause our mother to have anxiety as if we are her babysitter. How fair is that? We are the children and she is the adult, just when are we responsible for her behavior? Why do you need to have problems to get your way and to not have things be your fault?”
"Why do you ne

Re: Natalie vs Her Parents chapter 20

Apparently the rest of the chapter cut off so here is the rest:

“Why do you need to have OCD to have things go your way? It’s not fair,” Kelly shouted. “I want to stay at my friend’s houses as long as I can without needing to be home at seven on school nights but wait because I don’t have OCD, I don’t get that right. You also get mad at us if we cause our mother to have anxiety as if we are her babysitter. How fair is that? We are the children and she is the adult, just when are we responsible for her behavior? Why do you need to have problems to get your way and to not have things be your fault?”
“Why do you need to have broken legs to have a wheelchair?” said Dad. “Why do you need to have a disability to get Social Security? Why do you need to have a disability to get help in school and to get an IEP or a 504 Plan? Why do you need to be deaf to have hearing aids? Why do you need to be blind to have a walking stick? How is that all fair?”
Kelly argued with Dad as I looked in my room and I could hear them both fighting down there.

I couldn’t help but notice the paper still lying on the floor that had fallen off the dresser earlier when Kelly put her papers on it. I picked it up and looked at it. It looked like a school assignment because it had her name and date on it and class subject on the side in the right corner. There were big words at the top and it read My Dysfunctional Family and it had a B marked at the top next to My. I started to read it.

[i] I wish I had a normal family, I am too embarrassed to bring any friends over because my sister is like a child. She is like my little sister instead of my big sister. She rambles on about her interests, she doesn’t let you get a word in edgewise, her diapers smell up our bedroom and she lets them leak because she doesn’t change them and it gets on the furniture, she says inappropriate things, she gets upset when things don’t go her way, I have to live around her life so she won’t flip out on me if I am in her way of her routine. She usually does the same thing every day and I always have to hear James Bond. She is so selfish and only cares about herself. Doesn’t she ever think about anyone? And she leaves in the middle of conversations. She also asks stupid questions about social stuff everyone already know about and she asks too many questions. She will pace around and flap her arms like a retard when she is excited and she hops and skips and she won’t keep things out of her mouth and she keeps sniffing things and she is like Tigger, always bouncing. When will she grow up? Also I can’t even ask her boy advice or about make up or fashion because she knows nothing about that stuff. I can’t even ask her typical teen stuff because she is like a child and doesn’t know social things. And she wonder why she doesn’t have friends and why kids treat her so different and why people don’t often ask her to baby sit? No one wants a retard watching their kids.

Mom is also the problem, she is so mean and abusive, doesn’t really care and she is so cold hearted. She wears clothes that are out of style and she breaks down in public, she also says things that are so embarrassing, she gets mad if you dare to change her routine, she doesn’t come to all our games because of it, it’s always about her. She also doesn’t care about what I do or about school or my friends. She also takes everything as criticism and gets all defensive. She seems to think everyone is out to get her. My brother moved out because of her and when he was still living here they both fought and she always called him names whenever he didn’t agree with her and she takes it as an attack. Then she wouldn’t talk to him for days until he admitted to being “wrong” or apologizing for his behavior. Then bam she is back to talking to him again. Mom does that to me too. She thinks she is always right and can’t accept other people’s views. My sister is the same way and she will argue with you until you tell her you are entitled to your opinion. She may not shut up right away but does after you keep telling her it’s your opinion.
Then there is my little brother, he also goes on about his interests and I have to listen to his movies also and he talks too much and never shuts up and mom let’s him do whatever he wants, she lets my sister do whatever she wants too. They are alike in some ways; none of them care, they all get upset with change, they all ramble on about their interests, they all act weird, I can’t have a normal conversation with either of them that isn’t their interest. My sister will ask me questions about my day and then she is done talking to me after I answer her questions she only wanted to know about. If we are talking about something and if the topic changes, she leaves and says she is done talking. My brother will tell me what I am talking about is boring and say dinosaurs are more interesting and math and electronics and outer space. Mom will ask me about my day in school and then isn’t all interested. I asked her if she doesn’t even care, then why does she even bother asking and she said it’s what she is supposed to do. Then she didn’t understand why I was so upset.

My dad is a control freak. Everything also has to be his way. We all sit in the same spot, the house must look like a palace, mom and dad flip out if I forget to put the bowl in the sink or dishwasher, he does weird things like checking things over and over like locks, walking around his car three times before getting in, he does not like one spot on floors or furniture, he will also flip out if I track dirt in because I didn’t take off my shoes. Plus if mom has a breakdown, it is somehow us kids fault because we did whatever to cause it. She is the adult, we are the kids and dad treats her like she is some kind of retard and we have to be the babysitter. I will not babysit my own mom like she is some mental nutcase.

My brother is lucky he got out and here I am stuck in this hell hole. Ever since he had moved out, my parents have fought and fought there is abuse between them. Hitting and throwing and dad sitting on mom because she is acting like a retard. He also tells her she doesn’t care about anyone but herself and he tells her to get over it like being upset with crowds or needing things a certain way when yet himself also likes things a certain way. What a hypocrite. Everyone in my family all have something. I have dyslexia and I feel dysfunctional because I have to have a social life outside my home and my friends wonder why I never invite them over. I always make excuses for it. Everyone knows how retarded my family is and I get teased about it. They call my brother, sister and mom a ‘retard’ or ‘retarded’ and my dad a OCD freak or a control freak. He does also ramble on about random things no one cares about. But yet he will shut mom up when she rambles on. He does the same to my little brother and sister too. If we still had the Nintendo 64, my sister would be out of my way because she would be stuck in my oldest brother’s bedroom with that dumb James Bond game. She spent all her time in there when he lived with us and I had more freedom to do what I liked such as computer and watching TV. I wish my parents would buy the game system and the game so she would be out of my way. It’s a need, not a luxury. For me anyway because it’s the only way to not have to deal with her and my parents can’t see that. I am so ready to have my own bedroom and not share with the retard. Sometimes I wished she died in the accident. Then there be less retards to deal with. She has made my life hard and scared away some of my friends and caused me to get teased. Mom has made my life a living hell too and so has my little brother and my dad. But my mom, sister and little brother are the worst. I wish there was some magic pill to make them all normal.

I can’t wait to get out of this retarded family but I have to wait until I am 18. Then I am free. How did my brother put up with this for four years? He has had to be on medication for depression because of them. I cannot believe you have to take medicine for depression that is being caused by your family and they make it all to be your fault so they put you on drugs. I refuse to baby sit my own mom and my sister.[/i]

That was the whole thing she had written. All the ‘hells’ were crossed out and ‘heck’ was written on the side and line pointed to the crossed out words. All the retarded and retard words were crossed out and she made other corrections with the paper. She had even written a note at the bottom telling her it must be hard being a teen and dealing with her changing feelings and having a family with multiple problems but using the “R word” is very uncalled for and wishing me dead. Then she wrote to see her after class.
I felt upset by what Kelly had written about me. I don’t talk about Jamed Bond and video games only. I care about other people, things don’t need to be my way, she doesn’t baby sit me or mom, why did she write those lies? She also wishes I was dead and wants her own bedroom. She thinks we’re all dysfunctional. I wanted to tear the paper up. I was angry. So Kelly hated us all. She was a bad sister and she thinks we’re all retarded. She thinks I am too. I crinkled up the paper and tossed it on the ground and kicked it. I walked around my bedroom madly with all these emotions going on inside me and I felt anxiety. I felt myself sweating and feeling light headed like I was dreaming but I knew this was all real. I regret reading that paper. I should have followed the rule 'No reading other peoples stuff. Maybe I should start listening to that rule because I could read something I wouldn’t like and be upset by it. Now I would never look at my sister the same. Would this be Natalie vs Her Sister now instead of Natalie vs Her Parents?

Re: Natalie vs Her Parents chapter 20

Good chapter, keep it up. You have a good story going. Keep it up.

BabyChris121675

Re: Natalie vs Her Parents chapter 20

This was another good chapter. I feel bad for the family. They seem to have so many overwhelming problems. Yet they still manage to remain a family. I even believe that Kelly is deep down still a part of the family even after what she put on paper. I can’t imagine how much hurt reading that must have caused but it had to be huge. At the same time I believe it was just frustration being voiced by Kelly. I look forward to more.