Robbie meets Kelly Chapters 1-3

Note: I haven’t written anything in a while so I’m a bit rusty, Constructive criticism would be amazing as I wasn’t all that great of a writer to begin with.

Chapter 1

" This treatment should work sir,but I must warn you it can have some pretty serious side effects." said the nurse

This is the last thing that Robbie Olivera heard before a medication was administered to help tame his horrible tremors that he has been dealing with since he was in a car accident with his mom when he was 8 years old. Little did he know that his life would be taking a “regressive” turn. The medication did it’s job and it helped with his tremors. However, Robbie noticed that something just didn’t feel right. It felt like his hair was getting really long,and that he was shrinking. The nurse had given Robbie a mirror to look at himself to see if any weird changes had occurred. Low and behold something did happen, Robbie had not only gotten smaller, but it seems like he turned into a girl. This made Robbie very upset and he started crying. The nurse comes in a few minutes later and she is awestruck as she sees what has happened to her patient.

She walks over to Robbie’s bed and tries to soothe the crying patient “There,There sweetie you’ll be just fine,this must be a side effect to the medication you were given that we didn’t know about.” Robbie looks up at the nurse who by this point, looks like she could be his mother. Robbie sits up and the nurse picks up the crying Robbie and sits down on a chair right beside the hospital bed. Robbie says to the nurse in his high pitched voice “My life is ruined. I’ll have to relive the worst part of my life.” The nurse then says “Don’t say that sweetie,I know you don’t have any family left but that doesn’t mean that you can’t live a better life this time around.”

Robbie doesn’t look happy but says “You have a point but, what happens now? I have no family I just turned into a girl, and I’m the size of a 2 year old now.” Robbie pouts and is stunned when he notices his pants are now wet. “Looks like someone lost their control during their crying fit hmm?” The nurse lets out a little chuckle as she goes to the nurses station to get some supplies. Robbie mumbles to himself “Looks like I’m actually turning into the age I look like I am.”

Chapter 1 was supposed to be short so just keep that in mind Chapter 2 will be longer as it has a lot of plot ties in it.

Chapter 2

Robbie wasn’t surprised at all when the nurse came back into the room with what looked to be some diapers.

“I know you probably don’t want to wear these, but for the time being I think it would be best if you wore these. It would be easier on both of us if you wore these.” the nurse states to Robbie

“I’m not going to force you to wear these if you don’t want to, but if you need to use the potty tell me OK?”

Robbie nods his head and the nurse brings over a change of clothes for Robbie.

“Would you help me put these on? I have little to no energy right now and can barely sit up right now.” Robbie asks the nurse politely.

“I will gladly help you there sweetie. Also I think we should give you a new name due to your transformation don’t ya think?”

Robbie thinks in his head “Will this be the end of my former life? Will I get the chance to be the person I thought I was as child? No this can’t be happening I must be dreaming.”

The nurse sees that Robbie is obviously in a state of confusion and says “It’ll be much easier if you take on a new name.”

“Do you want people thinking you aren’t who you look like you are?”

Robbie didn’t think of it that way,he was only thinking of himself before this happened. He decides to put an end to his old self. The one that everyone thought of as a person who had nothing to strive for due to his disabilities.

" I never thought of it that way, the next question though is what will my new name be?" Robbie says to the nurse.

The nurse is surprised by what has just happened. Her patient is asking her for help deciding on a new name for a sweet little girl.

As she was about to speak, she felt bad for what just happened to this person. A once promising young man struggling with a severe case of tremors,turned into a now 1 year old little girl who has no family. She felt like she was about to tear up so she said

" I’ll be right back sweetie I have to take care of something."

She walks into the nurse’s station and says “Hey Cindy, can you do me a favor?”

Cindy looking happy as ever says “Sure thing Kelsey what’s up?”

“I need you to take care of my patient in Room 106 for a little while. I need to fill out a bunch of paperwork and she is in such a sad state, I can’t be bothered to leave her alone in there.”

" I’d be glad to do that Kelsey. Anything you need me to do in particular?"

Kelsey thinks for a moment and then says " I need you to reason with her that she needs help with her issues, she is a very stubborn little girl and I think you’d do a better job than I would trying to reason with her as you’ve been through a child that age."

Cindy says " I’d love to do that for you Kelsey, Is she one that won’t wear her diapers even though she needs them?"

Kelsey looking stunned says " It’s as if you can read my mind Cindy, that’s exactly it."

Cindy laughs then goes on to say " I’ve went through this with my little girl, I think I can reason with her."

Chapter 3

Cindy walks into Robbie’s room and sits down next to Robbie. She then says to her " I’ve heard you’re a stubborn little girl, I think it’s time we get you dressed little one OK?"

Robbie not caring in the slightest just nods her head.

Cindy then asks Robbie the question that she did not want to hear " What’s your name sweetie?

Robbie thinks for a moment then says in his sweet little girl voice Me name?"

Cindy just says to Robbie Awe aren’t you the cutest little thing?"

Robbie lets out a giggle at her statement.

Cindy then says to Robbie " Arms up sweetie!"

Robbie who is starting to enjoy her new Little girl role happily obliges to her request.

" Aren’t we a bubbly girl today huh?" Cindy and Robbie both giggle as Cindy starts tickling Robbie.

“pwease stop, pwease stop, me tummy hurts.”

Uh oh,looks like someone needs to do her poopoo’s" Cindy says in a kind manner.

Let me put your diaper on and you can do it OK?"

Robbie not even caring just says “OK, as Wong as me tummy stops hurting”

Cindy then says “OK lift up.”

Robbie does as asked and soon after she is snug in a diaper.

" Now that wasn’t so bad was it?" Cindy says to Robbie.

" Uh Uh Robbie says in response

“I never did get a proper answer out of you as to what your name is sweetie.” Cindy says to Robbie

Robbie says with that little kid lisp " Me name is Kewwy,but me nickname is Wobyn."

Cindy says " Well that is a very cute name for such an adorable little girl like you Kelly

Just as they finished that conversation Kelsey walks back in and says “You two look like you’re enjoying yourselves.”

Kelly and Cindy nod their heads in unison.

“If you don’t mind Kelsey, I’d like to stay with her a little longer, she is starting to open up to me.”

“Is that so? Well then carry on, it looks like you got her under control.”

Kelly gives Cindy a big hug showing her appreciation of this new person.

"Now aren’t you adorable there Kelly? Cindy says as Kelsey leaves the room.

“Kelly, How would you like to come meet my little girl?”

Kelly looks at Cindy confused,as she was about to speak up Cindy put her finger to Kelley’s Lips and says “It’ll be OK sweetie,my little girl is around your age and would love a sister to play with.” Cindy says as she winks at Kelly.

Cindy then says “I’ll be right back sweetie OK?”

Kelly nods and Cindy leaves the room to go talk to Kelsey

Stay tuned for more everyone.

Re: Robbie meets Kelly Chapters 1-3

That’s a great story so far. I really want to see what’s coming next.

Re: Robbie meets Kelly Chapters 1-3

thanks nia it took me a while to outline how I wanted this story to go

Re: Robbie meets Kelly Chapters 1-3

Anyone else got anything to say?

Re: Robbie meets Kelly Chapters 1-3

hope you continue 8) 8)

Re: Robbie meets Kelly Chapters 1-3

I am going to continue I have Chapter 4 written but Im going through it making sure I have everything in order

Re: Robbie meets Kelly Chapters 1-3

:slight_smile:

Re: Robbie meets Kelly Chapters 1-3

Thanks for continuing. I’m looking forward to more of this story

Re: Robbie meets Kelly Chapters 1-3

I can’t wait to read Chapter 4,how thing going with making it so far

Re: Robbie meets Kelly Chapters 1-3

It’s going good I’m about 85% done with the corrections

Re: Robbie meets Kelly Chapters 1-3

Chapter 4

“Hey Kelsey, if you don’t mind i’d like to take little Kelly in there, home with me for the night. I think it might do her some good to be around a kid her age for a bit.”

Kelsey with a surprised look on her face thinks “Maybe I can get her to be Kelly’s foster parent.”

“Hey Cindy, I’ve been thinking since I walked into you two being all hunky dory with each other that maybe you’d like to be her foster mother? She has no living family and I think she might do better with you rather than someone else for the time being.”

Kelsey looking happy says " I’d be glad to do that for her. She really loves me right now and I think she’ll love my little bundle of joy Ashley."

“How is Ashley doing right now anyway Cindy?”

“She is such a doll. It seems like every time i’m with her she’s always in my arms cuddling.”

“If you don’t mind Cindy we can get this foster paperwork taken care of and you can leave early to get Kelly all set up at your place.”

“Sure thing Kelsey. Let’s get this done so I can get her all settled in at home.”

About 10 minutes later, Cindy and Kelsey walk into Kelly’s room to see Kelly sleeping.

Cindy whispers to Kelsey " I think she tired herself out giggling so much."

Kelsey whispers back “Her carseat is by the Elevator, just bring it back when you get her a different one ok? That one is one donated for hospital purposes.”

Cindy walks up to Kelly and says quietly " Hey Kelly let’s get these things out of your arms so we can leave"

Kelly looking groggy just nods her head as Kelsey and Cindy take the IV’s out of Kelly’s arms.

Cindy then says “Come here angel”

Cindy picks Kelly up and Kelsey walks out to Cindy’s car with them to say goodbye to Kelly.

Kelsey says as she strokes Kelly’s hair “Goodbye little Kelly. I hope to see you again soon.”

Kelly with the look of exhaustion on her face blows Kelsey a kiss as her way of saying goodbye.

Cindy gets the Carseat ready while Kelsey holds on to Kelly.

Kelsey puts Kelly into the carseat and then says “Bye Kelly,I’ll see you soon.”

Cindy then hugs Kelsey and says to her colleague " Thank you for letting me take care of Kelly, She loves me and I hope she likes Brad and Ashley."

“No problem Cindy. She took on to you way better than she did to me.”

With that Cindy gets into her car and dials up her Husband Brad to tell him the news.

“That’s great hun, when will you be home?”

“I’ll be home in about 20 minutes, would you do me a favor and call up Dianne and see if she can watch Ashley and Kelly for a little while so we can get some Supplies for Kelly?”

“Sure thing hun, I can’t wait to see my new little angel.”

With that Brad hangs up the phone and dials up there next door neighbor Chrissy.

“Hey Brad what is up with you this evening?”

"Oh nothing really, Is Dianne home?

“She sure is let me go get her”

“Hello Brad what can I do for you this evening?”

“Would you be open to do some babysitting tonight? We just took in a foster child and we need to go get supplies and clothes for her.”

" I would love to Brad I’ll be over in about 20 minutes."

“Thanks Dianne, I owe you one.”

End of Chapter 4

Re: Robbie meets Kelly Chapters 1-3

Ok so I thought I would throw in some constructive criticism here. Just a few things to think about to help you improve on the craft of writing and story telling.

I really think this story would be helped by slowing down a whole lot. The first chapter is four paragraphs long yet their is enough information thrown out that you could easily make it four chapters long. Like your first chapter could have been about Robbies life before treatment, the second chapter could be about him learning about the treatment and side efffects and wrestling over whether it was a good idea or not. The third chapter could have been the build up to recieving the treatment and then the fourth chapter could have been all about the side effects. Even that pacing could be a bit quick.

The more info you give us the more enjoyable the story is to read, the more we can relate to the characters the more we will care about what happens to them. Don’t be afraid to tease us. Let us know exactly what the character is feeling, whats going through their head, how they had their epiphany to accept their situation. Not only does this make it more enjoyable to read but it also makes it far more enjoyable to write as your characters come to life, that can be incredibly rewarding and satisfying.

I know when writing their is always a rush to get to the good stuff, the fun stuff aka the diapers. But the build up to that is incredibly crucial. But i totally get when writing the impatience to get their. Heres a little secret while writing, you don’t have to write in chronological order. If you really want to explore the diaper scenes first, by all means write them first. then decide where they will come in the story and how to get their. Granted when posting to a forum like this one it is a must to post in chronological order, while writing you are not limited to this.

Be careful of how many characters you introduce to us. So far we have about seven characters introduced. So thats three characters tied up in the main plot, the protagonist, the antagonist and the ally. But that leaves us with four other characters that need to have their role in the main plot aswell as their own subplots. This can make your life really difficult while writing.

So I think I will leave it their for the time being, their is a lot of info their to digest but in short, slow down, tease us a bit and be careful of how many characters you introduce us too.

Anyway look forward to reading more and if you want me to expand on any of these points, because I will be honest I hastily wrote them down, don’t hesitate to ask.

Re: Robbie meets Kelly Chapters 1-3

Thanks for the comment about slowing the story down. Looking back on it now I realize that maybe I did go a bit too fast and with Chapters 5-7 I will be slowing it down about 5 notches. Also Criticism is always welcome as this is my first story in a while and Im still getting back into the swing of things.

Re: Robbie meets Kelly Chapters 1-3

I with him it great story but it is going by way to fast as well,also in Chapter 3 I was kinda surprise that she didn’t put much of a fight when having diaper put on her like that

Re: Robbie meets Kelly Chapters 1-3

I am still working on this I just haven’t had much time to work on it due to various reasons

Re: Robbie meets Kelly Chapters 1-3

how are thing going with the story I can’t wait to read more

Re: Robbie meets Kelly Chapters 1-3

It’s going good Im just having some transition issues that I’m trying to sort out and doing some Grammar and spelling checks to make sure everything is good to go. Chapter 5-7 are quite long so expect to be reading for maybe 30 minutes to 45 minutes depending on how fast you can read

Re: Robbie meets Kelly Chapters 1-3

I’m back everyone and will be posting Chapter 5 today!

Re: Robbie meets Kelly Chapters 1-3

Chapter 5

Dianne goes upstairs to her bedroom to get a few things before she goes over to her neighbor’s house to babysit for a few hours.

“Mom i’m off to the neighbor’s for a few hours to babysit.”

“Alright honey i’ll see you later,have fun.”

With that said, Dianne walks over to her neighbor’s house and knocks on the front door.

“Hey Dianne, come inside.”

“Cindy will be here soon, she’s on her way home right now.”

“Just out of curiosity, how old is your foster child Brad?”

“She’s two months younger than Ashley.”

" Awe, I can’t wait to see her!"

Just as she finishes her sentence Kelsey pulls into the driveway with a very tired Kelly

“Speak of the devil,there she is.”

Dianne and Brad both go out to see Kelly

“She is so adorable Cindy, She looks like an angel when she’s sleeping.”

“Let’s get her inside then!”

Cindy opens Kelly’s door and unbuckles her carseat ,then picks up Kelly and rests her head on her shoulder.

“She needs a nap right now, she had a rough day today and needs some rest.”

“Ashley just woke up a few minutes ago and she’s in her play pen right now.”

" That works out perfectly then, I’ll put her in Ashley’s bed for the time being so she can get some sleep."

After that Kelsey takes Kelly up to Ashley’s room and lays her down for a nap

" Have a good nap Kelly."

“What happened to her that she has nobody else to take care of her?”

“She was in a car accident that killed both her parents,her parents were only children and supposedly their parents died of various causes.”

In shock, Dianne says “Wow,that is very saddening.”

“It really is, in all fairness.” says Cindy

“Well we’ll be off Dianne, thanks for coming over on such short notice.” says Brad

“It’s no problem at all, Ashley is a doll and I hope Kelly is the same way.”

“What you up to sweet pea?” Dianne asks Ashley.

“Pwaying.” Ashley says to Dianne.

Dianne picks Ashley up out of her playpen and starts to snuggle with her.

“Did you know what mommy and Daddy went to do?” Dianne asks Ashley.

Ashley says “Dey went to da store?”

Dianne nods her head and says “Yes they did,do you know why though?”

Ashley shakes her head no and looks at Dianne in confusion.

Dianne then says “How about I go and show you?”
Ashley nods and Dianne picks Ashley up and takes her up to her room.

Before going in Dianne says to Ashley " You’re gonna have to be quiet ok?

Ashley nods.

Dianne then takes Ashley and brings her into her room and shows her Kelly.

Ashley then whispers " Who dat?"

Dianne then says “That’s your little sister sweetie. Your Mommy and Daddy took her in today.”

Ashley looks at Kelly and says “Wittle Sissy?”

Dianne says “Let’s leave your sissy alone, she’s had a long day Ashley.”

“Otay, Bye Sissy” Ashley says as she blows a kiss to Kelly.

Meanwhile Brad and Kelsey are picking out things for Kelly when Brad says:

“Kelly is such a doll don’t you think?”

" She really is. I think it’s time we pick out a crib for her don’t you think?"

" I think it is, Are the girls going to share a room or are they going to be separate?"

“You know what? I hadn’t even thought about that until you brought that up”

" I think it might be better if they share a room for a while, at least until Kelly becomes comfortable with the family as a whole. Don’t you think so Kels?"

" I think you may be right on that Brad, although I’m not sure how Kelly and Ashley will bond at first?"

" I think they’ll be fine Kels, let’s not worry about that right now."

“Ok Hon, I think she’ll like this Princess set don’t you?”

" Yea I think she will, I think we should get Ashley one as well then maybe we can redecorate the room for both of them."

“That’s not a bad idea, I’ll get some wall decorations tomorrow seeing as I have off from work tomorrow.”

“I’ll get paint when I’m at work seeing as I get a discount on it, You want to do Pink and Purple?”

“That’ll be perfect, Let me call Dianne and have her check on how many diapers are left seeing as we’re here if we need them we mise well get them here.”

At the house Dianne hears the phone ring and sees it’s Kelsey.

“Hello?”

“Hey Dianne, would you mind checking how many diapers are left? We’re at the store and we’ll pick some up if we need to.”

“I was just in there actually and it looked like you did need some, I think there was about 5 left in the pack and your container that you keep the spares in was empty.”

“Thanks Dianne, I’ll be sure to pick some up then.”

“No problem Kels, any time.”

Kelsey hangs up the phone and turns back to Brad who was looking at Crib Sheets

“We need to pick up some Diapers hon, Dianne said we’re down to 5 and the container was empty so we should get 3 boxes seeing how we have 2 in diapers now.”

“We’ll head over that way in a second, I just found these Disney Princess sheets that I think the girls will absolutely love.”

“Awe those are adorable, We should get those.”

“OK then.”

Meanwhile back at home Dianne and Ashley are snuggling and watching The Little Mermaid which was on TV.

Kelly wakes up in the crib and is confused as to where she is. She looks around and sees that she’s at a house.

Kelly then proceeds to try and stand up but is too weak to do so. She then starts to whimper.

Dianne hears the whimpering and says to Ashley " I think your sissy is awake."

Dianne proceeds to walk upstairs and sees Kelly.

“Hey there sweetie, How are you?” Dianne says to Kelly

Kelly looks at Dianne confused as to who she is, then Dianne says " It’s ok Sweetie, you don’t know me yet but I hope you’ll like me."

Dianne then says " How about we change your stinky diaper sweetie? I bet that isn’t comfortable."

Kelly nods her head and sticks her arms up wanting to be picked up.

“Alright sweetie come here.” Dianne picks Kelly up and brings her over to the changing table and lies her down.

“You’re probably wondering who I am aren’t you sweetheart?” Dianne says to Kelly.

Kelly nods and says “Who you?”

Dianne says " I’m your Babysitter Dianne, Your sister Ashley is downstairs watching a movie. Would you like to join her?."

Kelly thinks to herself “Sister? I don’t have a sister. She must be joking with me.”

Kelly then says “Sissy? Me no have Sissy?” Kelly then proceeds to start crying her eyes out.

Thankfully Dianne was finished changing Kelly’s diaper when she started crying.

“Awe come here sweetheart.” Dianne proceeds to pick up the crying Kelly and sit in a rocking chair in the room.

“You’ve had a rough day sweetheart,It’s only natural for you to cry after a day like this.” Dianne says while rocking Kelly to calm her down

Kelly starts to calm down after a few minutes then says “Can we go see sissy?”

“Of course sweetheart!” Dianne proceeds to carry Kelly downstairs where Ashley is waiting with the movie paused that she and Dianne were watching.

Ashley then says “Sissy!” and runs over to give Kelly a hug.

Dianne sets Kelly down by her sister and says “Kelly, this is your sister Ashley.”

Kelly stands up with her hands on the couch and looks at Ashley and hugs her sister and they both cry tears of joy now that they have someone.

Kelly says to Ashley “I wuv you.”

Ashley then says “I wuv you too sissy.”

Dianne did manage to record the precious moment for their parents to see later.

Dianne then says " Are you two hungry?"

Both girls nod and Dianne takes the two into the kitchen

End of Chapter 5

Re: Robbie meets Kelly Chapters 1-3

I know this seems odd but I feel like I need to bump this thread. Idk if anyone noticed I posted a new Chapter. Any comments would be appreciated