Snuggles and Tears Chapter 104

Hi Folks,

This chapter sets the stage for things to come.

Hope you like this,



Chapter 104

The last thought she’d had brought a question to mind and she looked to Peter asking “Do I keep nursing him now that he appears to be much more with it?”

Peter, without hesitation, answered “Yes. Look, don’t change what you’re doing, it’s working wonders. For the next six months, I want you to nurse him exclusively, supplementing with the formula. We’ll look at it again at that time. Remember, he’s able to look at the world as a nine year old, but it’s clear that emotionally, he’s not nine. I doubt that you’d be able to get him to wean right now without causing problems with how he sees himself.”

“You’re right. Just before he switched the first time, he asked if “This was alright” while showing me his binky. He’s still worried that I’ll change my mind, I guess.” Sharon explained.

“Considering the way things happened, this doesn’t surprise me. Just keep reassuring him, and doing what you’re doing. He’ll get through this, it’ll take time, but I honestly think he’ll get where he needs to be.” Peter reassured her. “And just to put it in perspective, it will take years to get there Sharon.” he added.

While she didn’t like hearing that, at least it set the bar for expectations. She would never admit it, but she was thankful when Peter told her to nurse him exclusively. She loved the closeness that came with nursing him, and wasn’t ready to give that up yet. Not only that, when he looked at her with those one year old, big, brown eyes, she knew she couldn’t refuse him the comfort that came with nursing.

Rick knew his wife well, and recognized the slight smile that she was trying to hide at hearing she wasn’t to wean Billy yet. He had to fight to keep from smiling himself. He was thankful Peter had said what he did. If he’d advised that she start weaning him, then this would have been ten times more difficult on Sharon. “Alright, so I guess the next question is, when does he leave here?” he asked.

Peter thought a second before answering “I don’t want him discharged until he’s received the last dose of Toradol. Not only that, I think PT needs to see him. They’ll have some advice on how to deal with his tremors and such.”

Gary spoke up then “I’ll see that they come by shortly.”

“You might want to have them come by this afternoon, probably around three thirty. We’re supposed to get fuzzy visitors today at one.” Rick advised.

“Oh, right. I forgot about that. Three thirty it is then.” Gary replied.

“Will it hurt him to spend more time being little?” Sharon asked.

“I don’t think so, I just want to make sure he spends some time every day as the nine year old.” Peter explained. “Why?” he asked.

“Given his physical limitations with the tremors and all, it’ll probably be easier for him. Also,” she said with a blush, “it’ll be easier when we’re out and about and I need to feed him.”

Peter smiled an understanding smile and said “I see. I don’t think it’ll be a problem if he spends eighty percent of his waking time as a baby. You can limit the ‘big’ time to when you’re alone if it will make things easier on both of you. After all, things are going to be hard enough for a while.”

Sharon smiled and said “Thank you.” with relief. That would make things a lot easier. She wouldn’t be forced to explain why a child that appeared to be alert and oriented wanted a binky, or to nurse.

“Alright, unless you have any more questions, I need to go chart on all of this.” Gary said.

“And I need to call back to the office and dictate notes.” Peter told them.

“No, I think that’s all I have for now.” Rick replied.

“Me too.” Sharon agreed.

“Alright, like I said, keep doing what you’re doing.” Peter said with a smile and a pat to Sharon’s shoulder and then left the room with Gary right behind.

Sharon sighed then, as she considered all that had happened in such a short period of time. She glanced down at Billy still asleep at her nipple and couldn’t help but smile.

“Well, it’s official.” Rick said.

“What is?” she asked.

“He’s got his mommy back, and you have your baby boy back at least for the next six months.” he told her with a smile.

Sharon couldn’t help but smile at that. “Yes,” she said and then looked down at the bed. “I was very happy when Peter said what he did.” she told him.

“I know, you were trying to keep from smiling Honey.” Rick said with a chuckle.

Sharon blushed then. Looking up to him she asked worriedly “Is it alright?” and then burst out into laughter. She inadvertently startled Billy and began rocking him gently as he started nursing again.

“Yes, it’s fine. What’s so funny?” Rick asked.

“Billy asked me the same exact question about his binky and all of the other baby stuff before the change.” she told Rick as she continued to laugh softly.

“Now that is funny.” he told her as he began laughing quietly.

Once they both settled down, Rick said “Listen, let’s put this issue to rest Hon, nurse that baby boy and enjoy it. I know you love the closeness, and God knows with all of the stress that’s going to come with his needs, you’ll both need the stress relief that comes with it.”

Sharon leaned close and kissed him. “Thank you.” she replied, grateful that he understood.

“Alright, I think I had better get back to Becky. She does alright with April, but I don’t want to push it.” Rick explained.

“OK, I’ll see you when you bring her down here.” She told him as he stood. With a kiss, Rick was on his way, and Sharon turned to her little boy, watching him as he slept.

It was twenty minutes later that Billy woke up. He began suckling the second he realized he had Mommy’s nipple in his mouth. Opening his eyes, he saw her watching him.

“Hi Baby.” Sharon said sweetly as she pat Billy’s wet bottom. She felt that he was very wet and would need to be changed soon. She noticed he was little still. Leaning down, she kissed his soft cheek and said “Mommy loves you so much. You are such a good boy for me.” with a smile.

Billy smiled a big smile. He loved the sound of Mommy’s voice, and her smiling face made him very happy. In his excitement, his hands and arms began to tremble.

“You love when Mommy talks to you, don’t you.” she continued. “Yes you do.” she added in that voice parents use to talk to their babies. Sharon reached down and broke Billy’s seal on her nipple and offered him his pacifier saying “Take your binky Baby, I need to change your pee butt.” with a gentle squeeze of his wet bottom.

Billy felt Mommy tickle his bottom and giggled. He loved everything about Mommy! Her sweet smell, the way she smiled, her loving touch. She gave him everything he wanted, a full tummy when he was hungry, a loving cuddle when he needed to be close, a tickle when he wanted to play, a soft clean dipey when he was uncomfortable. She was everything to him, she was Mommy.

He watched as she changed his dipey. He felt her gentle touch as she cleaned his bottom, taking care around his most sensitive areas. When she smoothed baby powder onto his tushie, he sighed at the warm soft feeling. The smell made him smile as his eyes closed.

Sharon watched Billy as she applied powder to his bottom. This was his favorite part. It made her feel warm inside to be able to give him this much joy. When she pulled the soft diaper up between his little legs and taped it shut, he relaxed completely, not a tremor to be seen in his limbs.

Picking him up off the bed and cradling him in her arms, she said “I need you to be big for a little bit Sweetheart.” and watched the expression on his face change. She could see he didn’t want to change right now. “It’s important Baby.” she told him with a firm but gentle tone.

Billy didn’t want to change. He was loving the comfort and the sensations of being little. When he was little, his binky felt so much better, as did the thick dipey on his bottom. All of his sensations were different when he was little. He didn’t want to make Mommy mad, and he knew that tone, it was the ‘alright, I understand you don’t want to do this, but you have to anyway’ tone. He closed his eyes and felt the now familiar shift, feeling sad when he opened them again. He had to blink away tears to see Mommy, such was his sadness at giving up his comfortable place.

“I know Baby, I know.” Sharon said as she rocked him gently and kissed his little nose. “I just need to let you know some things, and to make sure you understand what I’m telling you.” she explained. “Besides,” she said with a tickle to his tummy, “You’re going to like what I have to tell you.”

Billy squealed when Mommy tickled him. “What Mommy?” he asked attentively, wanting to know what she was talking about.

“Well, it seems that Uncle Peter has told me that you are to nurse for the next six months. So you’ll have lots of time to snuggle and be close to Mommy.” she told him with a warm smile.

Billy couldn’t help himself, he giggled and his whole body spasmed repeatedly as he discovered that he would be able to keep nursing.

“I see you like that news little boy.” Sharon said laughing. “Now, aren’t you glad you did what Mommy said and became big?” she asked with a wink.

“Yeth.” Billy answered still smiling.

“Which do you like better? Being big or little?” she asked seriously.

“Wittwe.” Billy answered quickly.

“Can you tell me why Baby?” she asked curiously.

Billy thought about this for a little bit. Finally, he looked at Mommy and said “It fitth.”

“It fits. I see.” Sharon repeated him. She understood what he was trying to say. Billy wanted his perceptions to fit the way he felt inside. She couldn’t imagine how it would be to feel like a baby inside, while having to behave and respond like a nine year old. The thought made her eyes burn with tears, knowing that he had dealt with this for some time. Looking back at him, she smiled and said “Then I have some good news for you Baby Boy. You only need to be big for a small part of the day, the rest of the time, I want you to enjoy being little.” She was about to add more to that, but Billy started crying immediately. When she saw his smile, she hugged him close and said “I know Baby. I know it’s been hard trying to be a big boy when you don’t feel like a big boy inside.” with a thick voice. “But I promise you Sweetheart, there’ll be no more of that.” and rocked him gently as he cried his past frustrations out.

When he’d calmed down a bit, she told him “I don’t want you to worry if you can’t keep from crying, even when you’re big. Your feelings aren’t behaving the way they’re supposed to, so you’re going to have trouble controlling them.”

“I know.” Billy replied, tears forming again.

“It’s OK Sweety, just let them out. It should get better, but it’s going to take time. You and Mommy are going to spend an hour or so every day talking about how you’re doing. That will be your big boy time. The rest of the time, I want you to spend snuggling and playing like a baby boy.” she explained.

Billy smiled another tearful smile as Mommy kissed him. He was so glad he didn’t have to try to be a big boy all the time. Just the thought of that made his eyes fill with tears again. “I wub you Mommy.” he told her earnestly.

“I love you too Baby, so much.” she said softly. “And I promise you, we’ll get through this together Baby, it’ll be alright.”

Billy snuggled closer and looked at Mommy. When she nodded her head with a smile, he closed his eyes and made the shift. The second he felt his binky, he began to nurse, loving the sensitive feeling of his mouth, getting incredible comfort from it.

Sharon watched him become little again and saw the stress slowly disappear as he nursed his binky. He would do fine, she thought, so long as he had plenty of time to enjoy the simple pleasures of being a baby. Eventually, they would need to even out the amount of time he spent as each, but until then, she wanted him to enjoy this time, and become comfortable with who he is.

Her thoughts were interrupted as she saw movement in the unit. Looking up, she smiled. “I think somebody is here to see you Baby.” she said as she shifted Billy so he was sitting up facing away from her.

Billy was irritated that Mommy sat him up until he looked out through the glass. With a big gasp he said “Pooh!!” excitedly, so happy, that he resembled a child having a seizure. Turning his head, he looked at Mommy with big wide eyes and a huge smile and said “Pooh Mommy!! Pooh!!”

Sharon was frightened at first, so intense was his reaction. But when she saw his big smile and big eyes she said “Yes Baby! Pooh’s come to see you.” with a kiss to the top of his head. She was so glad to have this time again. A time when Pooh Bear and Tigger were exciting, and new toys brought big smiles and huge giggles. Watching his eyes follow Pooh’s every step as he came closer to the room, she couldn’t help but feel joy at his happiness.

When Pooh stepped though the door, Billy didn’t wait a half a second before reaching up and saying “Uppy Pooh!” with tears in his eyes and a big smile.

Sharon watched as Pooh carefully picked Billy up and gently pulled him into a warm fuzzy hug. She couldn’t keep her tears in check when Billy closed his eyes, nuzzled his face against Pooh’s shoulder and said “Wub you Pooh.”

There was no fear there, just the simple love of a child for his best friend. Billy didn’t notice the slight bobbing of Pooh’s shoulders, or the extreme tender care that Pooh was taking with him. All he knew was that Pooh loved him, and that’s all that mattered to that baby boy.

Snuggles and Tears Chapter 104

Beautiful BB, I had tears in my eyes, but they didn’t fall. But it was close.

I was worried Billy might have blamed Pooh for making him sick again, but was pleasantly surprised to see the reaction he did have. Just lovely :smiley:

Just a little mistake here BB, you just have to take out the"his"

It was twenty minutes later that Billy woke up. He began suckling the second his he realized he had Mommy’s nipple …

It was a good way for me to start the day. Thanks BB

9.2/10 I liked this one. It made me feel fuzzy inside. I especially loved it when sharon and Billy interact with each other and she talks to him like he is a baby.


Snuggles and Tears Chapter 104

Thanks Lb,

I fixed the mistake. I originally had that written a different way and when I went to change it, I missed that word. Sorry about that.

As for Pooh, well I don’t think even if Pooh reached up and slapped Billy (not that Pooh would ever do such a terrible thing :shock: ), it would make Billy love him any less.

I’m glad I could brighten the beginning of your day. :slight_smile: (it’s almost the end of mine)

Snuggles and Tears Chapter 104

Another excellent chapter. Keep it up BB.

Snuggles and Tears Chapter 104

Congratulations to you if Sharon was really your mother.

I’d be a very well-adjusted person if I had her to help me through my childhood. Sucks that I had to fantasize about it.

Ah well, can’t have everything in life.

Great chapter though. :slight_smile:

Snuggles and Tears Chapter 104

Yeah I though as much BB. I could kinda see where you were going to go with that mistake.

You made me chuckle with the Pooh response :shock:

If your on the east coast i’m gunna guess that its 7:50pm …not much of a guess I have a friend that lives in Florida so I know exactly what the time is there.


Snuggles and Tears Chapter 104

These next chapters will be instresting to read.