This chapter is nothing but Mommy bonding with her special baby boy.
I hope you like this.
Sharon loved this time. It was rare that she had the ability to do this the first time Billy was a baby. Having a two year old and a newborn made life hectic to say the least. She made a promise to herself that she would take the time to snuggle with him at least once a day from now on.
Billy sat listening to Mommy’s heartbeat as he felt the chair slowly move back and forth. He was enveloped in everything an infant loved at the moment; the sound of mommy’s heart beating it’s steady rhythm, the warmth of her skin against his, her gentle touch as she ran her fingers across his stubbled head and the feel of her patting his thickly padded bottom.
A shift to clear thought allowed him to appreciate how much his Mommy loved him. She had gone to great lengths to show him she loved him. He didn’t know how to make sure she knew just how much this meant to him. He wanted her to know! He needed her to know.
Sharon felt his movements change. Shifting him just a bit, so she could look him in the eye, she watched his expression as he nursed his binky. She could see he was not an infant at the moment. “I love you so much Baby.” she told her nine year old. “You’ve been such a good boy.” she added with a smile.
Billy couldn’t help but smile. It felt so good to hear her say that. “I love you so much Mommy.” he tried to tell her. It came out as baby babble and tears formed in his eyes as frustration mounted.
“It’s OK, Baby, I know.” she told him softly as she picked up a soft cloth diaper and wiped his tears away. “You show me just how much you love me with your big smiles, your wonderful giggles and your warm snuggles.” she explained with love in her eyes.
Billy smiled a big smile then. His tears kept coming, but the smile told Mommy that he was so thankful for everything she did for him.
Smiling through tears of her own, Sharon kissed his forehead, and whispered “You’re welcome Baby, You are so welcome.” as she resumed rocking and patting his diaper.
Billy couldn’t help it, he just lay there crying quietly, expressing his overflowing heart the only way he could. “She understands.” he mused, the thought bringing more release, as fresh tears made their way down his little cheeks.
Sharon hated to interrupt this moment, but she was getting wet. Then a thought occurred to her and she leaned forward and as his head moved away from her, she spread the cloth diaper out over her breast and pulled him back to her, resuming her rocking. “You remember your didee’s don’t you.” she said sweetly.
Billy nuzzled his face against the soft cloth, smiling, memories of her wiping his hurt away coming back to him.
“I see you do.” she told him with a smile. “You loved your didee almost as much as your blankie. Mommy would cover your boo boo with a didee for a moment and the owwie would just magically go away.” she reminded him.
“How could I forget? They were so soft.” he again tried to tell her his thoughts, his infantile coordination making it unintelligible.
“I love to hear you talk to me, Baby, even if I can’t understand what your saying.” she replied.
That surprised Billy. He hadn’t really tried to talk to her because it didn’t do any good, she didn’t understand what he said. He decided right then that it didn’t matter anymore, even if she couldn’t understand, he would tell her what he was thinking. It made her happy, and as happy as she made him, he would do anything for her. His emotions getting the best of him, he said the only thing he could think of then “You’re da bestest Mommy in da whole world.”.
While Sharon really did love to hear him talk, she had another reason for encouraging this. It would help him to exercise those muscles, and with time, he would be able to speak clearer. She smiled as she felt the love he had for her. It was almost as if it moved out through the pores in his skin and into hers, slowly filling her with joy, like a faucet filling a glass.
As Mommy held him close, patting his bottom, Billy started going poopy. He tried to stop it for a moment, but his effort had no effect whatsoever as the warm mass pushed it’s way into his dipey. His nine year old self couldn’t help but blush at making a mess like that while Mommy held her hand to his bottom. “I’m sorry” he tried to tell her, as he looked down.
Sharon felt him mess his diaper. Seeing him blush, babble a short blurb and look down, she knew he was embarrassed. Toddlers sometimes got red in the face as they messed their diaper, but this was just blushing. “Hey, Sweety, it’s OK. You’re supposed to do that, I expected it.” she told him as she continued to hold his bottom gently, showing him it didn’t bother her.
She had wondered why he got embarrassed by this until it occurred to her that it was very possible that every other messy diaper she had changed for him, had been when he was looking at the world through an infant’s or toddler’s eyes. “You need to stop being embarrassed about going pee pee or poopy in your dipey, Baby. Your body is gonna do this without your permission Sweety, and no one is going to get mad at you for it, I promise.” she reassured him.
That made Billy feel much better. He snuggled closer as a wave of relief washed over him. Going pee pee in his dipey when no one knew it, was one thing, going poopy was another.
Sharon knew he felt better about it when he snuggled closer. She knew there were going to be times when this was going to be difficult for him. “You’ve been such a good boy for me these last few days Sweetheart. You did what I asked and spent most of your time just being my little baby boy. I want you to keep doing that, Baby. It will make it easier until you get more control over your body.” she explained as she hugged him a little tighter. Then thinking that he might be getting uncomfortable in his diaper, she asked “Do you want me to change you now?”.
Billy really didn’t want to move from where he was. He was warm, Mommy’s skin was soft, and he loved the feel of his soft didee on his face. He suddenly thought “Will she get upset if I don’t want to be changed now? Maybe I should tell her yes.”.
Seeing that he was wrestling with the question, she quickly said “You know what, never mind. I don’t want to stop snuggling yet Baby.” as she resumed rocking him as she held him close. The look in his eyes had told her he was torn between doing what he thought she wanted him to do, and just laying there close to Mommy.
That solved the problem for Billy. He really didn’t know what he was supposed to do, he only knew what felt good. The mess in his dipey didn’t feel bad at all. The smell actually stimulated his senses, so he didn’t mind it. Soon though, the process of going poopy had made more room inside him, and the owwie that told him he was hungry became intense. “Nummies Mommy.” he said as tears filled his eyes.
Sharon hearing him talk and seeing his tears, had to think for a second before she figured out the problem. “OK, Sweety, Mommy will make your tummy full again.” as she shifted him so he was on his back. Only then did she remember that the feeding bag hadn’t been set up and she would have to lay him in his crib to do that. Thinking “Lets see just how much he gets from me.”, she offered him her nipple. She noticed her breast felt heavier now than it had at any other time.
Billy took Mommy’s nipple in his mouth and started nursing. The stuff he felt stream into his mouth tasted different this time. It was sweet. The taste stimulated his need and caused him to nurse harder and faster to satisfy his hunger.
Sharon was surprised when Billy kept his eyes open, watching her as he nursed. “He’s still not let go yet.” she thought. She smiled at him and said “You like nursing, don’t you Sweety.”.
Billy kicked his legs several times to let her know how much he loved the warmth and the closeness that came with nummies.
“I’m really glad you feel that way Baby, because you are going to need my milk to stay healthy for a while. The doctor wants me to nurse you while your getting better.” She told him.
He was overjoyed at this news. He had wondered how long it would be before Mommy would give him his ba-ba instead. While he loved having his ba-ba, he loved this more.
After ten minutes of nursing him, she sat him up, holding him close with his face on his didee, Patting him firmly on his back.
Billy was surprised when he gave a loud burp. The thought that his mommy needed to burp him made him all warm inside and he giggled.
“Did you have piggies in your tummies?” Sharon asked him as she tickled him.
Billy squealed, laughing a big, baby laugh.
Sharon had to laugh, he sounded so cute. Shifting him, she laid him down and offered him the other nipple. As her little boy suckled, she began to hum a gentle lullaby. She watched as slowly his eyes began to close.
Billy nursed contentedly as he heard Mommy start to hum. Between the soothing sound, the sweet taste of Mommy’s milk, and his steadily filling tummy, he began to get sleepy.
“That’s right Baby, it’s sleepy time. You close your eyes and dream sweet baby dreams. Maybe you and Pooh Bear can go play at Roo’s house.” Sharon said smiling as she watched him close his eyes fully. She continued to rock him and hum as he nursed her milk in his sleep.