Space Cherubs [CHAPTER 3 PUBLISHED DECEMBER 13 2017]

Chapter 1: The Disaster
[HR][/HR]
I was flying through the deep void of space, there was only one spaceship out there, well, one intact spaceship anyway, it was a merchant vessel picking up survivors, as far as I knew, I was the only one left alive in the wreckage. My friends, my fellow soldiers, all of them were gone, It was up to me to survive, I wasn’t going to let those Chellans have the pleasure of killing us all.

I heard the homing beacon loud and clear, it was my only destination, my angel wings propelled me through space, I wove through the wreckage, avoided dead bodies, utilizing the thrusters and kinetic manipulators to get there, but with the energy left in my odin core it was a slow journey. It took me an hour to get in range of the rescue transport’s tractor beam.

When I felt the tug, I was almost as weak with relief, as I was with exhaustion, I was going back to civilization, I survived, but I failed.

As I was guided toward the cargo bay, my suit’s depleted energy core barely providing enough propulsion to get me in range, I was in pain, I felt the damage of my leg, I was completely twisted backwards. I felt my wings were injured too, along with the propulsion systems that encased them, I knew I was not going to be flying for a while.

As I entered the fighter bay, I righted myself and prepared to land, as I did so I blushed under my helmet, here I was, obviously a female soldier, injured in the extensions of my body and underneath my armor.

As I landed in the bay, I stepped one foot down, then lay down, my right leg had been practically snapped backwards by an explosion that damaged my wings. I blushed still, this was not the only thing I was concerned about, My undersuit was in fact soaked with urine, and during the battle I had filled the back of my pants too.

This is a problem all Star Angels have, the dogfights we participated in lasted a long time, so long that we had to hold it in, sometimes we couldn’t.

This was the first time I had ever failed to hold it in, it was almost a day between the battlee’s end and when the cargo ship arrived.

My name is Juno Mars, I was one of the best Star Angels in my entire fleet, and now that my home was gone, I don’t know what comes next, hooking up with the rest of the Neo-American Navy Command for certain.

I was carried away in a gurney, my wings lathered in a dough like putty off to prevent infection, there were places where my peach colored blood was leaking out, now that I was under the influence of gravity again I felt so weak.

A mask was put over my face after my helmet waas removed, revealing my brown hair and red eyes, my nose was slightly crooked, leaning toward the left.

I fell unconscious, I was prepared for anything my rescuers may try to save me, as well as the fact that they may not even try, there are many criminals who go aboard ships to escape the Solar Patrols, many of whoms would not be happy to have an angel like myself aboard.

7 minutes later

“No,” The doctor asserted, “it is an advanced piece of military hardware that’s designed to kill everything in it’s path, not a person.”

The captain of the ship growled as he sat in the bridge, it wasn’t the first time the doctor had defied him, worse yet, his treasonous opinions were shared by a certain faction of the crew, never mind the illegitimacy of said opinions and the fact that she almost died protecting them.

“You ungrateful rat, her entire fleet was destroyed, though the pirates were wiped out she and two other Angels were the only survivors of this battle, do you have any idea why this battle was fought in the first place? Huh? Those Chellan pirates were attacking us, trying to rob us of our cargo and kidnap everyone aboard this merchant ship!”

The doctor didn’t seem to consider his words, his only response was to scoff.

“And you seem to forget that she isn’t even human!” The doctor disagreeed with the captain further, “did you see those wings she has, and many of her enhancements aren’t cybernetic.”

The captain stared at the doctor like he wanted to tear his kidneys out through the hologram, “you hypocrite, none of us are truly human anymore, those people died out long ago. Or are you not only determined to forget the debt we owe the survivors of the battle, but first grade history lessons too?”

The doctor seemed to have a battle in his head, deciding whether or not the members of the military cast known as Angels aboad their ship were worth saving, never occuring to him that he was obligated to do so.

“You take care of them, repair her, or I’ll toss you and every single one of your anti-angel group out of the airlock, Dr. Steven Baker.”

That decided the battle, Dr. Baker agreed to help the angel, albiet grudgingly, after turning off the holographic message terminal the captain put his hand to his face. All he could think was what kind of messed up ship this was if he had to threaten a doctor with death in order to get him to do his job.

“Computer, remind me to report Head Surgeon Steven Baker to the military Police as a potential traitor the second we arrive at our destination, but for now, deploy the salvage drones, gather as much alien wreckage as we can, as well as the Chellan’s Navigation Cores, we’ll need them.”

“Yes, Captain Hulk,” the AI replied, immediately sending out signals to the salvage ships to retrieve alien wreckage, they need all the examples of technology they can find.

“Your sacrifice won’t be in vain.” Captain Hulk whispered, if one thing will stop the pirates dead in their tracks, it would be a direct attack on the world they originated from.

And now humanity no longer had the strength to do so.

Re: Space Cherubs [CHAPTER 1 PUBLISHED DECEMBER 11 2017]

You might want to take your text for a quick trip through the spell checker since you’ve missed quite a few typos. Also, there are quite a few words that should be capitalised, but aren’t. But at least the missing spaces between words seem to be limited to your introductory comments, and that’s good.

Re: Space Cherubs [CHAPTER 1 PUBLISHED DECEMBER 11 2017]

Oh gosh! If only this site had SPELLCHECK! thanks, so what do you think of it so far? Unique?

Re: Space Cherubs [CHAPTER 1 PUBLISHED DECEMBER 11 2017]

EXCUSE ME?! You should be using the spellcheck in your the program you’re using to write it.

Re: Space Cherubs [CHAPTER 1 PUBLISHED DECEMBER 11 2017]

Even cell phones have spell checks, though auto correct loves to troll. If your program doesn’t have spell check, there are a lot of online, free programs. It just takes a little google-fu to find them.

Re: Space Cherubs [CHAPTER 1 PUBLISHED DECEMBER 11 2017]

I was talking about the site itself, the site’s document writer, sorry I didn’t specify.

I was in a rush, and I couldn’t get all of the mistakes in Libreoffice, but thanks for your reviews.

Re: Space Cherubs [CHAPTER 1 PUBLISHED DECEMBER 11 2017]

Spellcheck can be completed before posting. :3 Sometimes it’s better to wait and spell check than to throw up something hot off the press. :3

Re: Space Cherubs [CHAPTER 2 PUBLISHED DECEMBER 11 2017]

Chapter 2: Close Encounters of the Ugly Kind
[HR][/HR]
I woke up, I heard the sounds of beeping machines, devices designed to keep the human races alive and treat their injuries and illness.

I was in an angel bed, it had massive holes on it so my wings could be placed on it, they hurt like Hell, I turned to see them and saw that they had what looked like hardened rock on it. The jets and kinetic manipulators that were attached to it were gone, my feathers exposed for all to see, there were bandages on them as well, letting the broke parts heal.

My armor and undersuit had been removed, hopefully cleaned, in it’s place was a hospital gown, I had been asleep for some time.

When I started feeling around my body, I found that my left leg had been put into a cast, and I was wearing a diaper.

Aah, of course, I thought, I had been unconscious for possibly days, they had to manage that aspect somehow, and that was the logical conclusion.

Of course my thoughts turned to combat, specifically, of all the times I had almost wet or soiled myself during and after combat.

We were flying at incredibly high speeds, dancing with Chellan drones in celestial dogfights, in the midst of battle the nature let out it’s call often, and some had no choice but to answer.

Approximately two thirds of us had soiled ourselves in the first year alone, at the time of this most recent battle, I was one of the only two angels that hadn’t unleashed.

In space combat, there are only two types of vehicles; simplified it’s called “The Tank and Motorcyle Theory,” tanks the size of skyscrapers and motorcycles with machine guns and rockets.

How space warfare goes is this, the warships of both sides duked it out, trying to stay hidden from the various nukes and other weapons that were launched and detonated in hit and miss gambles, like an ancient game that the Ancestors used on play on Earth, Battleship. Hence tank.

Then there were the motorcycles, where we angels came in with our specialty; aerial combat.

The job of the fighter craft, whether or not it’s a bomber, or assault craft, is to weave around and dodge enemy fire, and hit the enemy as many times as possible, it was the latter area that the Chellans excelled at.

Their drones were slower than ours, but only marginally, and they were far more agile and numerous, on top of that their weapons could destroy our drones in one hit, rendering them glass cannons.

We had no armor that could be cheaply mass produced that could withstand these brutal pirate’s drone weaponry.

What we of the human nations excelled at however, were weapons, hacking, genetics, and engine technology, but none of that counted if you were blown up in one hit, and they were too agile to let themselves be hit by the first bolt, or ten.

So we had another solution, engineer a new breed of human, one bred specifically for the purpose of chasing down and destroying the Chellan drones.

So my grandparents and hundreds of thousands like them were born, the new type of human, without five tons of metal for the engines to haul around, we scaled down the engines our drones had and put them on us. The suits and thrusters were smaller, but we were still far lighter, which meant we went far faster than the Chellans, they couldn’t compensate.

We were also armed with powerful weapons, one that could destroy their ships in one blast, and powering each and every one of us was an Odin Energy Core, a battery powerful enough to let us do battle for 18 hours a day before being recharged.

We also act as bombers, shock troopers, and anything else we’re needed to be.

Between the G forces experienced, and the longevity of the battles, we often broke loose in battle, the return trips were always the most embarassing.

I felt the wet diaper attached to me, and wondered why the military didn’t update our suits to include these.

“Ah, you’re awake,” I heard a voice call out from beyond the ward, in my shock I turne to see a doctor walking towards me, silhoutted by the lights.

It was vert quiet, and as the doctor approached his footsteps were completely silent, I knew it was probably a hologram projection.

“Enjoying yourself?” The man asked with a blank tone.

"Yes, but whoever you are, thank you for saving me, I owe you my life, I said to him.

His only reaction was to sneer, “oh you really like those diapers don’t ya? I thought you were an angel, not a cherub!”

He turned away from me, I already disliked him, he was most likely a criminal on the run, seeking refuge on this ship, or the relative of one who’s dead.

“Before you even go thinking of rampaging through this ship, my name is Steven Baker, remember that, and remember what you are, weapon.”

I stared on in silence as he left after spitting out the last word, when he was gone I reared back my head and sighed.

Well, I thought, this could definitely be worse.

Re: Space Cherubs [CHAPTER 2 PUBLISHED DECEMBER 11 2017]

I think I have to call you out on a little bit of science here: angel wings (indeed wings of any kind whatsoever) would do no good at all in “the deep void of space.” Far from being able to weave through wreckage, she would just continue in a straight line, as there is no air in space for the wings to beat against. Wings beating against a vacuum do nothing at all.

:slight_smile:

Re: Space Cherubs [CHAPTER 2 PUBLISHED DECEMBER 11 2017]

Oh, my you’re right I forgot to tell, she has angel wings, yes, but when suited up for battle there’s jets and kinetic energy manipulators attached to them!

Re: Space Cherubs [CHAPTER 2 PUBLISHED DECEMBER 11 2017]

Well, there are fewer typos and missing capitalisations in this part, but there are still a few.

As for spell check… You said you used LibreOffice. I’m not trying to be snide or anything, but you might find these two pages useful: Checking Spelling and Grammar - LibreOffice Help and Automatically Check Spelling - LibreOffice Help

Re: Space Cherubs [CHAPTER 2 PUBLISHED DECEMBER 11 2017]

FTFY.

Re: Space Cherubs [CHAPTER 3 PUBLISHED DECEMBER 13 2017]

Chapter 3: Reflection and Recollection
[HR][/HR]
“Doctor?” I said quietly into the piece, hoping it wasn’t that horrible Dr. Baker character again. It had been several days since my awakening, I shuffled my massive sooty black wings as I sat up on the hospital bed, which were attached in the middle of my back, in center mass.

My injuries had been healing very nicely, my wings were fully recovered, the only serious wound that hadn’t healed yet was my now untwisted leg, but I could walk if I had a crutch, or my Mark V Jupiter Suit. The quirks of salamander DNA were absolutely wonderful, and orangutan, and crocodiles, and various other animals I won’t name.

Also birds, obviously.

Of course due to my alterations I was not very welcome on board the ship by everyone there, some of the doctors were resentful because I was military. The rest were actually thankful that the sacrifice of my fleet saved their butts, though I was very torn up inside over the loss of my entire fleet, I still took selfies with them where I smiled.

I became a sort of celebrity here, not many people have actually seen us angels.

I knew there were only one million of us angels in existence, this fleet that I was in was the largest of them all, of course the Chellans managed to kill over 250,000 of us. We had tracked the largest Chellan raiding fleet we had ever encountered, they had raided and kidnapped one twentieth of the human population of the world known as Victorie, that world was very close to Gaia, our homeworld.

Our mission was to find and punish the Chellans for what they had done to us, it was time they learned that their actions have consequences. Their fleet was several times more numerous in number than ours, but the battle AIs told us that due to our relative efficiency and the massive gap in performance, if we did this right, we should have been able to win the battle with only 5-10% casualties.

We were in position, our ships were almost ready, we were scanning for the prisoners they may had taken aboard. As it turns out the Chellans have a major penchant for taking slaves, and we humans were of very durable, versatile, and had no natural weapons, judging by how often they kidnapped people we must be all the rage, maybe it has something to do with their economy.

We were prepared to fire, the scanning was almost complete, they hadn’t even noticed us when they were harvesting ice from the asteroid field, but then two unexpected things happened that changed our fates.

The appearance of the merchant vessel, The Coin of Hermes, had just exited hyperspace, at least several dozen thousand miles away from the pirates, they had come to refuel their ship here as well.

Naturally, the Chellans began to move towards the ship, aiming their guns at it, moving towards it with the intent to take all two hundred of it’s personel as slaves.

It was an absolute disaster, of course everyone was in an uproar about it, Admiral Jiang noticed that the Chellans were breaking formation in order to take this new prize that had fallen into their hands.

The captain saw a choice between an oppurtunity, and a moral dilemma, he had just finished scanning the ships and located the prisoners, they were on a truly massive space station disguised as a meteor, far away from the fleet, the Chellans remained unaware of our presence, and now they were distracted. But there was a group of innocent people who had just arrived there at the wrong place and wrong time, who realize the gravity of the situation there, and thought they were about to be taken away, never to see their loved ones again.

Of course the captain made his choice, he was there on a rescue mission to save millions…it would be hypocrisy not to save two hundred more on this effort.

Of course, Admiral Jiang chose both, he was a brilliant tactician, and an incredible asset for the human races of the Neo-American States as well as all of humanity.

We all readjusted our position, aiming for the left flank guard who had broken formation, leaving themselves vulnerable, the left flank guard alone was equal in number to our entire armada.

We weren’t intimidated by their numbers, they could only win by taking us by surprise and slipping past most of the human’s military forces to assualt the civilians.

The second disaster came when, the first of the ships were 400 miles away from the merchant ship, we opened fire. The result was wonderful, as many as half of the ships in the left flank guard were annihilated in a single shot from the entire armada, the rest were destroyed in not even fifteen minutes. Heh, that must of freaked them out, if only we could have seen the looks on their faces.

But then the second disaster came, if this hadn’t happened, we could have turned the merchant ship’s arrival into a victory, but no.

I, juno Mars, colonol of the 48th Hellfinch Wing, could only watch the battlemap in horror as the Chellans fired on our flagship, all at once.

The command of our mission was decapitated almost seven minutes into the battle, a glitch was left untended too for too long in the cloaking device, so when the raw power from the ship’s main cannons were fired, the resultant heat caused the stealth drive to overload, that’s my theory on what happened.

We were leaderless, we had no time to decide who was in charge other than the Vice Admirals. They had to lead the battle in Jiang’s absence, one of them, Vice Admiral Geo, led the group he was in charge of fine, he was in charge of the half of the fleet that destroyed the Chellan’s left flank guard.

But Vice Admiral Alice Bay was another story, she wanted all of the glory to herself, and intead of focusing on recovering the prisoners, she charged the Chellans head on.

Made me, and the entire 48th Hellfinch unit charge them head on, if they had waited for the Chellans to counterattack, then make their move, this battle would have been different.

But that retard Alice Bay of Swines was in charge, and she turned a victory that was within our grasp into a massacre!

I wish she would have been vaporized instead of Jiang, no matter how things went afterward she alone is responsible for this tragedy.

The battle lasted days, both fleets were being whittled down, we the angels were in combat for almost 20 hours a day, we were constantly recharging our Odin energy cores, but even then the energy was depleted faster than it could recover. One by one we were whittled down, and in a last ditch effort, she charged her ship straight at the enemy, going out guns blazing, she was proptly blown up very soon by a missile straight into the bridge, if only that happened the second before Jiang died, that would have been great.

Once Bay died, I was left the highest ranking officer in the fleet, I led all of the angels in one last ditch effort to rescue the prisoners, as the remaining of our number charged out of the ships, the last of both fleets charged.

We blasted our way through the Chellans, but at high cost, and the Chellan raiding fleet had been broken. The Chellans knew they had lost, and the second they did, they had decided to cut their losses, and exacerbate our own.

There was nothing we could do, with the Capital Ship gone so was the AI that was keeping the Chellans from doing this, they blew up the entire space station, murdering all of the prisoners, in order to keep us from rescuing them. Then worse came to worst and their reinforcements arrived, and both sides ground each other into dust, leaving only me, as far as I knew.

I don’t know what’s going to happen next, we angel’s numbers were slowly increasing, but now, now now we are on on the threatened species list.

Anyway, getting out of that subject I called out for a doctor, hoping it wasn’t Baker.

“Yes, Colonel Mars?”

I sighed in relief at the female voice, it wasn’t Baker, “Yes, Dr Stafford? I’d like to know, what did you do with my Zeus Suit?”

I only had to wait for her response a second.

“Uuummmmmmm, I believe we have it in our cargo bay, it took us a while to clean it out and twist the leg back into position, but we couldn’t recharge your OE Core without causing a shipwide blackout, why’d you ask? You think we tossed it out of the airlock?”

I widened my eyes in shock, how paranoid, this lady is.

“No, no, I was just wanting to put it back on, you said the captain wanted to meet me when I’m fully recovered, I can walk with either a crutch, or my suit, it has the infrastructure to support me.”

“Oh, very well then, I guess I’ll ask someone in the cargo bay to get it right now, see you soon!”

At that she hung up and I laid back in my hospital bed and sighed, well, I thought. I imagine this Captain Hulk wants to thank me, well, I owe him just as much, so I think that we’re about even.

I looked at the ceiling and wondered what will come next, I’d imagine we’re very close to the merchant’s destination by now, trying to pay no mind to my heavily wet and soiled diaper.

Re: Space Cherubs [CHAPTER 3 PUBLISHED DECEMBER 13 2017]

I couldn’t find any typos (unless you meant to write “Zeus suit” and not “Zues Suit”), but you did miss a few capitalisation issues. Remember that adjectives indicating nationality should be capitalised (and “Neo-American States” should probably also be hyphenated). So should names (Juno).

Titles and military ranks are not however; unless they’re treated as part of the name. (Correct: “Vice Admiral Alice Bay”. Incorrect: “I, Juno Mars, Corporal of…”)

Both words in “Odin Core” should only be capitalised if they are the complete name said piece of technology. If “Odin” is just a class designation (meaning you could have an Odin core, a Heimdall core or a Freya core), only the class name should be capitalised. The same goes for “Zeus Suit”.

Ship classes such as “capital ship” (which is an umbrella term for the biggest kinds of ships such as aircraft carriers, battleships and dreadnoughts) are never capitalised. This also applies to other names that are just types. This would be like capitalising “sneakers” because they’re a type of shoe, or “motorcycle” because it’s a type of vehicle.

And finally something that isn’t really all that important, but if you look to the left of your posts, you might notice your name next to each one of them. We can see that too. We know who writes the posts so you don’t have to tell us. As for the jokes: Please don’t. Just… don’t.

Re: Space Cherubs [CHAPTER 3 PUBLISHED DECEMBER 13 2017]

Thank you, you’re very supportive, and I’ll cut back on the jokes.

Re: Space Cherubs [CHAPTER 4 PUBLISHED DECEMBER 14 2017]

A group of people belonging to the Neo-American’s Department of War stood in a circle, surrounding a table with a holographic display on it, what they were looking at was extremely concerning. The report that came in was shocking, unprecedented, and horrifying, operation Reclamation had been a complete and total failure.

That’s not the worst part, the part that everyone was in complete silence over was the fact that the entire fleet led by Grand Admiral Jiang had been destroyed, all 8,000 ships.

“Men, I know that this report, is of a great shock,” said a man by the name and title of Supreme Admiral Liam Gale. “I certainly wasn’t expecting to find this after drinking my morning tea, but there’s some good in this.”

“Some good? Some good?!” Roared one particularly scruffy brown haired person known as the Secretary of Defense Jeffery Mark, “Admiral Jiang is dead, seven tenths of our entire navy is wiped out, all 8,000 ships, including a quarter of every angel in existence! Eight out of ten of all the most experienced angels in the field are dead!”

“Well, there’s a bright side to this that you seem to be forgetting Mark,” growled a very old man with grey hair, the Department of Air Forces Research, Dean Axe, the designer of the Assault Angel Project.

“The Chellan raiding fleet has been destroyed with them, the one that managed to transport 18 million human beings with them, a fleet of ships that size is not going to be a loss easily recovered from.”

Axe shuffled in his seat as he got out a device, a holographic display, he set it on the table and kept talking.

“Also, a new generation of angels have just completed their training, 50,000 more angels are due to deploy in various groups, and on that subject, I have something to show you.”

“Let me guess,” said the Head of Subterfuge, Cassie Redtail, “you actually completed your mark VI Zeus suits?”

Axe shook his head tiredly, “no, I couldn’t, as a matter of fact they were a complete disaster, so I got to work building a new design.”

Axe then clicked the button on the device, and a holographic display of the new angel suit, both male and female versions, came on.

“Read the features and gasp in awe, this is what the angels will look like.”

Then they all did, as they read the features, which included comparisons between the new suit and the mark V Zeus, their approval could only increase.

Then they read one feature in particular that made everyone’s eyebrows lift themselves to the heavens.

“Uuuh, Axe,” Redtail asked awkwardly, “am I reading this right?”

“Yes, Ms. Redtail, everything has been spellchecked and edited for your convenience, every single tidbit of info on these suits is in there, i made sure of it.”

“Then why are there spaces for diapers in the suits?”

Grand Admiral Gale, we’ll call him GAG, looked up from reading the display and let out a very brief and loud, “what?”

GAG was very done with that the second he heard it.

“It’s actually a solution to a problem that the angels have had since their very conception, with the first iteration of the Odin Cores installed onto the Mark II Zeus suits, many of the angels were in battle for almost the entirety of the maximum time limit of eight hours.”

“They found themselves often rushing into the bathroom after the battle, a few of them were unable to make it at all, what with the high G forces, accelerations and decelerations, it’s a problem that virtually all of them complained about, and was exacerbated in the Mark IV and beyond, when the new Odin energy Cores allowed them to be in battle for twice the amount of time than their predecessors.”

He looked sourly around the room, “I would have designed the suit completely by myself, I would have added those features into the angel’s equipment, answering their complaints, but some of my ‘assistants’ interfered with the project, removing the features entirely, possibly due to their omorashi fetish.”

“Ok, but come on, is wearing diapers in battle really going to look glorious?” Redtail said, recognizing one downside to Axe’s plan.

“You say that as if you never had shit running down your legs! Trust me, does any sane normal person like that?” Axe brought her and all of them back to reality.

Then the Supreme Commander, who was only present in holographic form, spoke up for the first time.

“Axe, your project has the green light, and this time you will have absolute control, I will give you the authority to fire any of the staff you deem obstructive to the progress and efficiency of your projects, and now, this meeting is adjourned, let us all greive for admiral Jiang.”

“I’ll grieve for the the sheer loss of human life, at Chellan hands.” Mark said.

Then the council all walked away, those that were present in hologram form turned themselves off, Axe smirked in victory, at last, his projects were never again to be hindered.

Re: Space Cherubs [CHAPTER 3 PUBLISHED DECEMBER 13 2017]

Gummybear IN!!!

Is there really any point to pointing out the typos and mistakes if you don’t go back and fix them? Gummybear LEFT!!!

Let me think… No. So obviously I need to find a new way to motivate you. I’ll turn it into a game. I spotted at least one typo, one capitalisation mistake, one case of accidental fourth wall breakage and one improper naming convention. Gummybear RIGHT!!!

If you manage to find them and fix them, you’ll get a gold star.
Gummybear OUT!!! (Do you get an idea of how silly that thing looks now? And that’s not one of the mistakes. Those are all in the text.)

Re: Space Cherubs [CHAPTER 3 PUBLISHED DECEMBER 13 2017]

I DO go back and fi the mistakes, I just miss a few is all, and I will fix them, and at what point did I break the 4th wall?

Re: Space Cherubs [CHAPTER 3 PUBLISHED DECEMBER 13 2017]

No you don’t. (I assume you mean “fix”, but that’s beside the point.) My post for part 3 had five specific problems. You haven’t even managed to fix more than two and decided that a third wasn’t a mistake (although one of your corrections seems to have resulted in you giving Corporal Juno Mars a promotion to colonel.) You had a single occurence of uncapitalised “Juno” and capitalised “capital ship” that needed fixing and they’re not hard to find. My advice to you, and now I’m being blunt, would be to not post a new part every day, but rather let the text sit for a day, read through it again and fix your mistakes before posting them.

Gummybear puts down his red pen and leaves for good.

Re: Space Cherubs [CHAPTER 3 PUBLISHED DECEMBER 13 2017]

Ooooh, right, I’ll get to that, but seriously, where’s the 4th wall break?

That aside I’m fixing it now, and I ALWAYS intended for Mars to be a colonel, I just got the ranks mixed up temporarily is all.