This is not SPAM. NOT spam. Do not spam the mods with complaints about spam as this is not spam. I wouldn’t spam. I don’t even like spam. I like pigs-in-blankets.
Announcing Supersoft Superstitions, a new adult protection product.
A radical revision of a popular padded product designed to provide protection from unwanted leaks and solids, Supersoft Superstitions is an aesthetic alternative to Supersoft Fluffies that offers several decorated designs suited to your superstition of choice.
Faithful customers will be enthused that Supersoft Superstitions continue our revered tradition of providing unparalleled protection and comfortable convenient care, incorporating the award winning features of our Supersoft Fluffies favourite. Whether you’re seeking astonishing absorbency or chemical neutralisation of nasty liquids you can be sure that Supersoft Superstitions will provide that carer-friendly soft sanctuary that keeps our customers cosy.
Not wanting to constrain our customers to any given flavour of belief we’ve put together a range of different delightful designs encompassing all major and a few minor belief systems. Find your favourite depicted deity or prophet in the table below:
|Belief System||Revered Figure||Notes|
|Norse||Frigg||The Goddess of Motherhood, an ironic choice sure to amuse your caregiver|
|Roman||Vesta||The Virgin Goddess, because our customers are innocent and pure|
|Greek||Antheia||An apposite choice when it’s time for a change, the Goddess of Swamps and Marshes|
|Incan||Kon||We’re sure you can guess why we’ve suggested the God of Rain and Wind|
|Sumerian||Enki||God of Mischief, because we know our custoemrs like some fun|
|Old English||Herne the Hunter||One for the lovers of Supersoft Eco-Gaia, a mythical creature of the forests|
|Buddhism||Buddha||Naturally we’ve replaced Buddha’s traditional loincloth with something a little more absorbent|
|Hindu||Saraswati||While some worship her as the Goddess of Learning, we like to think of her as the Goddess of Toilet Training|
|Judaism||Moses||Set free and found again as a baby, the prophet Moses could be our only choice|
|Christianity||Jesus||An apt choice for a garment that will be sacrificed to protect you and yours|
|Islam||Tesselations||These look so great we’ve offered four different designs, all of them covering the whole garment|
|Pastafarian||FSM||A special design that adds more noodly appendages each time you wet|
As with all our Supersoft products built in electronics power patented Eletabs(R), the secure way to assure proper protection. The electronics in Supersoft Superstitions have another use and when sending a signal to the Fluffies SuperApp they’ll send another to a marvellous magical display that lights up the figure on the front. That’s right, when you wet the eyes of your deity or prophet will light up, and a nearly full Supersoft Superstitions will have a shiny smile to greet your carer when they come to change you.
Other designs are also available, the Christmas Tree (with working lights when wet), a Menorah (the candles light one by one as you get ever close to a change), a Torii, a Yin-Yang circle (which inverts to show a change is needed), a Star of David, a crucifix or a frequent favourite, an inverted pentagram.
Adapting advanced technologies our remarkable International team of diaper developers have introduced a brand new feature across the range never before seen in adult protective products. In addition to the signal sent to your carer’s Fluffies SuperApp your Supersoft Superstitions will play a superstition appropriate sound to indicate that a change is required. Whether you’re waddling down the road, kneeling in worship at your sanctified building of choice or just lying in bed dreaming of your deity your full diaper will loudly proclaim your beliefs through hymn, chant or other relevant sound.
Guaranteed pork, beef and shellfish free, order now at all major adult medical suppliers (and a few minor ones) or read our customer testimonials to find out how they feel about Supersoft Superstitions.
Alisha in Delaware wrote to admire our Hindu design: “These are fantastic! I hadn’t tried Supersoft Fluffies but my husband couldn’t resist this charming design. Sadly my toilet training has taken a step back since I started wearing them but this seems to please my husband so we’re both happier.”
Sadiq in Pakistan seemed less enthusiastic: “U R EVILL AND I WILL TRAKC U DOWN NAD INFLICT FATWA ON U!!!” We’ve got in touch to ask if he would like to try a different design.
Fatima contacted us once more from Arizona, “Help! Please, stop making new products that keep me incontinent. My housemate keeps trying different designs on me and I hate them all. I was in Walmart when my ‘Herne the Hunter’ diaper reached its limit, something everybody between the aisle and the bathroom could tell due to the humiliating ‘Baa Baa Black Sheep’ that played on a loop as I waddled through for a change.”
Morag in Scotland offered a new product suggestion, “Why d’you no have a Celtic design? Ah’m keen t’ try these new nappies but there’s nay Celtic Knots or deities. Brigantia would be perfect for this!” We agree with you Morag and will be expanding our range - expect a whole case of Brigantia flavour Supersoft Superstitions to arrive early next month.
But Rocky in New Mexico made us laugh with his very different take on the designs, “I bought your Christianity themed pack and let me tell you, it’s a source of personal satisfaction that I get to piss on Jesus every time I need a wee.”
So order yours online today at http://SupersoftFluffiesForLife.com or Like us on InstaTwitFace for a free sample pack.