[Spam is murder] Supersoft Eco-Gaia

This is not SPAM. NOT spam. Do not spam the mods with complaints about spam as this is not spam. I wouldn’t spam. I don’t even like spam. I like organic fairtrade tofu.

Announcing Supersoft Eco-Gaia, environment friendly waste management for everybody. Give birth to the Earth.

People across the world are destroying natural habitats by not only wasting water flushing their toilet, but also channelling that waste into the wild. You can help prevent this heinous crime by refusing to use a toilet. Ban bathrooms from your home and workplace, and save the planet by wearing a diaper that allows you to control disposal of your unavoidable waste.

Available in pretty pink, beautiful blue, amazing amber and gorgeous green all of our diapers incorporate a unisex design, assuring that whatever your body, gender and colour preferences you’ll have extra padding at the front, between the legs and across your bottom for ultimate protection and comfort. Look out for the unique wetness indicator that starts invisible then, as your Supersoft Eco Gaia helps you save the planet, becomes a vibrant rainbow, showing the world that you’re a strong eco-warrior unafraid to avoid toilets and also a supporter of marginalised rights.

Incorporating proven animal-friendly technology researched by Supersoft Ecoscientists and manufactured by a socially aware African Women’s Co-operative, the groundbreaking Supersoft Eco-Gaia helps you unlearn the toilet training that in modern society destroys those few remaining natural habitats. In addition to being treated with ethically sourced naturally occurring free range diuretics that enable you to overcome any latent embarrassment in your body’s natural needs, the built-in electronics monitor your usage and at medically optimal intervals deploy a fast acting laxative, assuring easy and comfortable use of the diaper’s full capabilities.

These electronics are powered using patented Supersoft technologies that draw energy from your liquid wastes with no rare earth elements required, avoid the exploitation of indigent populations, the toxic spoiling of their precious water table or the rape of their forests in brutal mining operations. Including advanced moral electronics allows interaction between your Supersoft Eco-Gaia and the Fluffies SuperApp, available on all modern mobile devices, giving you up to the minute information on how thoroughly you’re saving the planet and whether you need a change. A new feature in the Fluffies SuperApp lets you broadcast your progress via all popular social media sites and mobile messaging, so that your friends and family can marvel at how green you are.

Encourage them to join you in adopting Supersoft Eco-Gaia and saving the planet from sexist gender based restrooms, the tyranny of urinals unusable by trans men (and other genders) and the sickening waste of water used by overfilled cisterns. If they’re reluctant, you can mention the hidden secret inside every Supersoft Eco-Gaia, an important design element that even your most sceptical friends must acknowledge is a pure and worthy justification all by itself: Rather than being merely compostable, as you would expect from any Supersoft product, the Supersoft Eco-Gaia lining has active tree seeds embedded within it. These benefit from the fertiliser provided by your bodily wastes to grow into a vibrant aesthetic tree, meaning that every time you change into a clean new Supersoft Eco-Gaia you’re helping repopulate Earth’s forests. To assure ecological diversity seeds from multiple species have been incorporated, with the resultant tree dependent on your climate and how thoroughly you provided that kickstart in its life through your bodily eliminations. Just bury in your garden or local park and add carbon dioxide.

So be stunningly brave and prove to the world that you’re fully committed to saving it by investing in Earth’s future today. Order now at all major environmentally friendly suppliers (and a few minor ones) or read our customer testimonials to find out how they feel about Supersoft Eco-Gaia.

Customer Testimonials

Tarquin from Rhode Island writes, “Like I so love your Supersoft Eco-Gaia, they’re perfect for me as, like, I’m a non-binary vegan and, like, I couldn’t possibly use a urinal and I totally like adore the trees. I’ve made a small copse already!”

Fatima got in touch with us from Arizona, “My housemate bought these for me as she decided that if I’m going to be stuck permanently in diapers then I might as well help the environment too. I love them, I can actually take these off and change them myself! But why am I still incontinent? Is that the same diuretic you use in Supersoft Fluffies?” Yes Fatima, it certainly is - we knew you’d love that hidden feature.

The delectably named Rainbow-Love Wildebeest d’Alice emailed from Portland to let us know, “I love the colours of Supersoft Eco-Gaia and pick the one that matches my authentic native tunic so that I don’t have to cover it up and everybody can see the gorgeous rainbow stripes showing how much I love the planet. Best of all when I’m wearing these those evil right-wing thugs won’t come near me now!”

Supersoft Eco-Gaia are available and popular internationally too. Greta from Sweden sent us her love and a very happy, “At last I can relive and enjoy my childhood.”

Sadly we had to decline the suggestion Anna from England called in with: “Use the tagline ‘Supersoft Eco-Gaia, like its namesake, gets up close and personal with Uranus.’”

So order yours online today at http://SupersoftFluffiesForLife.com or Like us on InstaTwitFace for a free sample pack.

1 Like

I really want to order these, but the link doesn’t work.

A very fine addition to your Supersoft Fluffies series! I thoroughly enjoyed reading it!

Ha ha ha ha, I like this, a lot.

But for real, are there any good artists on this site willing to draw this?