As Sam Gregory awoke one morning from a night of fitful dreams, he found he had been transformed in his bed into a giant baby. He lay on his back and looked up to see himself in a long pair of baby blue footed pajamas, with the soft bulge of a diaper around his waist. He tried to move his arms and legs, and the movements were weak and uncoordinated. He didn’t seem to be physically different. His appearance was the same, and he was the same size, but his clothing and ability to move properly had taken a bizarre turn.
“What is happening to me!?” he wondered. It wasn’t a dream- he could feel the bizzare clothing and weak movements as much as see them. He looked around himself. Between the four walls, the rather small but undeniably ADULT room, as it always had been. On his desk were scattered bundles of paperwork and cloth samples- Sam was a travelling salesman- and above it a framed picture of Batman. “Ok” he though “maybe that part isn’t quite adult, but STILL! This is ridiculous!”
His gaze shifted to the window. It was early morning and the sun had risen but was blocked by cheerless clouds hinting at rain. “Perhaps I’ll just go back to sleep and forget this nonsense,” he thought. However, that wouldn’t work well. He was used to sleeping with blankets, which he guessed he had kicked to the floor. With his new restricted mobility, grabbing them would prove difficult.
“This is such BS” he thought as he squirmed on his back. He tried to get himself over on his front to move, but his arms and legs weren’t cooperating. “You work your entire life, learning to walk, use the toilet, talk, all this stuff, get these stressful jobs, then one day out of the blue BAM! Its all gone. How does this even make sense?” He finally managed to turn himself over to his front. He threw his legs off the side of the bed and tried to stand up, but was met but at sudden pain in his feet. He collapsed to the ground. “Oh great, now I have to crawl?!” He thought.
He was near giving up. That effort had all but drained him, and he still found his efforts frustrated. He was near tears, and he wanted simply to begin crying and wait for someone to come help him. “It must be the work,” he thought. “Get up every day early, spend you time travelling around when all you want is comfort- of course it will drive a man insane! Much better to just stay at home and let others take care of you, do all the work, feed you, change your… NO! That is what they want me to think.” He wasn’t certain who ‘they’ were exactly. However, it seemed someone or something wanted to make him act like a baby, and he wasn’t going to play along.He fought back tears. Wanting to cry and be taken care of was all part of it. He wouldn’t find a solution be complaining or lying in bed. He’d get up, solve the problem, and go to work, one way or another.
He looked at his clock. “Good God!” he thought. It was half past seven, he was running late. He began to crawl towards his cabinet.
A voice came from the hallway. “SAM!” It was his older flatmate, Sarah. “What are you doing? Are you ready for work?”
“Yes, one second! I…” Sam stopped. Was THAT his voice? It wasn’t the deep, manly voice he was used to. It was soft and high pitched.
“Is something wrong with your voice? Are you sick?”
“I… I don’t know. I think so!”
“I’m coming in!”
“What is that? Why does he sound funny?” that was his girlfriend, Grace. They shared the flat with Sarah and her boyfriend, Aaron.
“I think he’s sick.”
“What kind of sickness makes someone sound like that? Sam! Are you sick?”
“Ummm… Yes! Yes that’s it. I’ll be in her for a while. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”
Sam’s heart sank. That last voice was of his manager at work. “What the hell is he doing here?” Sam thought.
His three flatmates outside seemed to focus on the newcomer.
“You seriously came here? That’s obnoxious,” Aaron said.
“WHERE IS HE!? I TOLD him to be hear EARLY today. I had to present to the CEO MYSELF!”
“But have I not been on time every day before this? An Is always do good work?” Sam stopped when he heard his own voice changing further.
“Nol. In fact you’ve been late pretty consistently.”
Sam flinched. He shouldn’t have brought that up. In truth he wasn’t the worst, but given the circumstances he didn’t think he had much ground to argue the point.
“…seriously. Aren’t there rules against this? I mean, you can’t just barge in here. The hell?” Aaron said again.
“I don’t care! I want to speak to him NOW! SAM!”
Sam, desperate, tried to speak up. “WES! WES SIWR!” He flinched at his own voice. It was getting worse.
“He’s sick” Sarah said. “Can’t you tell that from his voice?”
“I don’t care. No call, no doctors note, nothing. SAM, GET OUT HERE NOW!”
“WES SIWR! One second!” Sam crawled again to the door and reached for the handle. He had locked it the night before, and struggled to undo it.
Finally he managed to undo the latch and the door swung open. There, standing with shocked expressions, were all three of his roomates and his boss.
Sam tried to sink into the carpet. He hoped the bulge of his diapers weren’t too noticeable, but figured it was a lost cause.
“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?” his manager said.
“Well clearly he’s sick!” Grace said pleadingly.
“Yes he clearly is SICK. What is wrong with him?” the manager replied.
“No not that kind of sick,” she almost whined. “Like, disease sick. He doesn’t normally do this!”
“What kind of illness makes clothes appear? That doesn’t make sense!”
“That’s actually a good point,” Aaron said.
“YOU’RE NOT HELPING!”
“Never said I was trying to help. Just stating the obvious.”
His manager was clearly annoyed. Sam’s work was far from perfect as it was. Sam wasn’t terrible, but at the moment he could only think of his worse moments. “#%@ it, I don’t have time for this. Sam, you’re fired. I don’t care what weird things your into, but if you can’t make it to work, then its a problem. Goodbye.”
“What!? No please!” Grace pleaded.
“That does seem unfair” Sarah said.
He ignored both as he left.
The three turned to Sam.
“Soooo… what now?” Aaron asked.
“Yes what happened Sam? How do you feel?” Sarah added.
“I AWWA OOOO,” Sam tried, then stopped. As he had feared, his speech had been brought to next then nothing.
Sarah nodded. “I…see.”
“Well, I’m not changing his diapers,” Aaron said.
“Aaron shut up. Thats not important right now,” Grace replied.
“You’re just saying that because you know it will be you. And boy, with a baby that size will they ever stink!”
“Ok, look. We have to find out whats going on,” Sarah said, rubbing her head as if thinking. “Grace, you’re his girlfriend. Is this… a… thing?.. of his?” the question was on 'thing," she added the rest after.
“NO! I mean, I wish but…” she stopped blushing.
“WOAH so the cats out of the bag!” Aaron said.
“I didn’t do it! Clearly its some kind of illness.”
“Yes I think that must be it. He got sick and it turned him into an adult baby,” Sarah said.
“That makes fuckall sense,” Aaron said. “How can an illness just suddenly make someone act like a baby? And how did it summon diapers into existence?”
Sam had to agree with Aaron. This was the dumbest s%*$ he had ever encountered. What sort of reality was this?
“WHEN does it happen? HOW does it happen!?”
“I don’t know but its clearly happened”, Sarah said. “Its like one of those kink stories.”
“WHAT kink stories,” Aaron asked.
There was an awkward moment as they all blushed and avoided eye contact.
“Ok, look,” Sarah continued. “We all know we all know that we all know what we all know. I mean, you both know what I’m talking about. This sort of thing happens, and somehow everyone involved is kind of into it.”
“WHAT?!” Aaron shouted.
Sam stared in shock. “INTO IT!?” None of this made sense too him. “Since when the hell does this sort off thing happen in real life? This is…” he couldn’t think of a word “like something from some horror writer, with a nightmarishly complex, bizarre, or illogical quality, where senseless things happen in real life, and there is no way out… there has to be a word for that.”
“This is all just bizzare! Its like, Kafkaesque or something!” Aaron said.
“Well I don’t think any normal person would be stuck up enough to say that,” Sarah glowered.
“I think we should stop questioning this and just go with it,” Grace said. “Fortunately, I happen to have spare diapers for some reason.” She opened a closet door, revealing piles of pampers as she promised.
'I think its incredibly suspicious that you say that, and why the HE!! do you have those?" Aaron said, and Sam completely agreed. Hopefully, Aaron would find a way to get him out of it.
Both women turned and glared at Aaron. Sarah glanced at the piles of diapers, then at him.
“Comment revoked,” Aaron said, looking down.
“Good, then we are all agreed. This is perfectly natural and normal, just like those stories we all read. It makes perfect sense.”
“Agreed,” they said in unison, and Sam’s heart sank.
(conclusion to follow. Comments and critiques are appreciated. Also, Alternate Title: I Met Her For More Then This. Thoughts?)