Re-posting as a request. More to come… eventually.
The Biggest Girl in First Grade
By: CS Fox
First there was a groggy noise associated with waking up… Then there was a sound of surprise… Then there was a scream… And finally, there was hell.
Hannah didn’t stick around for hell though. As soon as the scream reached her ears she was awake, vaulting out of her bunk bed and bolting for the door. All that her roommate Tori could see was Hannah’s long hair zipping out the door like a cloud trail behind a jet plane.
“HANNAH!!!” she screamed, “You can’t hide it this time! It’s dripping through the mattress!”
Hannah winced as she heard it echo down the halls. Everyone heard that for sure. She ran as fast as her bare feet could carry her down the hallway. She was so occupied with not being near her fuming roommate, that she didn’t have a chance to notice that her light blue shorts had a wet spot running front to back. It would be the proof anyone needed, had there been any doubt about what Tori had just yelled a moment earlier. It didn’t matter though, the rumor about Hannah Brie had started a week earlier, and by now, it had reached the resident teacher’s ear.
Hearing the commotion, Nadia opened her door at the end of the hall. She could see Hannah, clad in shorts and a t-shirt running down the hall and no one chasing her. Seeing the open door, Hannah ducked in and shut it behind her, resting against it. Nadia was standing right there, looking at the panting girl.
“So it’s true?” Nadia said with a sound of pity in her voice.
“What’s true?” Hannah said looking up curiously. Nadia pointed to Hannah’s shorts. Hannah stared a moment at Nadia’s finger, then followed its direction to her shorts. Upon seeing the big wet spot, her face flushed red and she did her best to pull her t-shirt down to cover up her embarrassment.
“I…I… I can explain,” Hannah stammered.
“No need,” Nadia shrugged. “Hannah, even I’ve heard about this already.”
“Heard… about what?”
An angry fist started pounding at the door behind Hannah. “Hannah?! Hannah, are you in there?”
“Give us a moment Tori,” Nadia said.
“I’m not living with her anymore Nadia! You hear me?”
“I said to give us a moment Tori…” Nadia replied a little annoyed. She waited a few moments till there was quiet on the other side of the door. “Now Hannah, how long has this been going on?”
Hannah played with the hem of her shirt; hoping somehow the answer to the question would be stitched in the lining. “How long has what been going on?” she asked innocently.
“Your bed wetting!” Tori screamed in the hallway. There was mixed laughter from other girls getting up now.
“SHUT UP VIC-TORI-A” Hannah yelled at the door.
“It’s TORI! Don’t you dare call me that!”
Hannah allowed herself a small smirk, till she noticed Nadia still standing there and not sharing the smile. Her smirk faded.
“How long?” Nadia asked sternly.
“Three weeks,” Hannah said after a pause. She winced slightly, actually saying it was affirming it, and affirming it was like suddenly dropping a brick on your own foot. She felt her stomach flip waiting for the response.
“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”
Hannah blushed and Nadia guessed the simple answer… she was embarrassed.
“Well go back to your room and get dressed for the day.” Nadia said putting a calming hand on her shoulder. “You’re not in trouble, I can’t fault a girl for… well… your problem.”
Tori yelled from beyond the door “But what about our bunk bed?”
“I’ll deal with that later…” Nadia said opening the door. Tori was caught a little off her guard. “And stop screaming about her problem up and down the hall, okay Tori?” Nadia stood starring at her till the stunned girl nodded her head. “Good, now off you go.”
Nadia ushered Hannah out of her room and shut the door. She had been putting this off for too long and it was a bit irresponsible of her. She picked up the phone.
“Morning Brad, hope I didn’t wake you.”
Another voice groggily answered the phone. “It’s about time I got up anyway, what’s the problem Nadia?”
“One of my girls, Hannah, wet her bed again last night and her roommate has about had it.”
“We don’t really have a policy here for dealing with that… I could have her sent home if you want Nadia.”
“No no… Hannah’s much too sweet a girl. I was hoping for a different alternative.”
“Well, I’ve put some thought into this and it’s a bit extreme, but I found that our school does have a policy for bedwetters.” Nadia smiled as there was silence on the other end of the phone. Brad, the principal of the school, was stumped.
“We do?” Brad asked at last.
“Our elementary classes do.”
“Elementary? If I know our students right, Hannah is 14! We can’t send her back with the ankle-biters because of a bedwetting problem?”
“I don’t want to send her back; I just want to re-assign her to a new dorm. I’ll expect her to be the bright student in my class she’s always been, just staying in a new room, that’s all.”
Brad thought it over a little bit. “Well that sounds fine to me. I’ll give a ring over to Michelle in the Elementary dorm. Hannah can move her stuff during the club period after school.”
“Great. Thanks Brad.”
And with that Nadia hung up the phone. Problem solved.
Hannah did her best to walk down the hallway while still holding her shirt down. Tori was behind her, snickering and giggling the whole way back to their room. Some of the other girls pointed and laughed too as they passed on their way to the hall bathrooms.
Hannah went into her room and took her clothes off so that she could wrap a towel around herself and head to the showers. She felt gross. She always felt gross when she wet the bed. Not only that, but after her shower, she’d have to go use the laundry room again.
Usually she was pretty slick when having to sneak off to do laundry early in the morning. One morning she apparently wasn’t sneaky enough and thus the rumor of Hannah’s yellow sheets spread. Still, she would shower and put this all behind her. Hot showers had a good habit of doing that for her.
Hannah got to the shower and found that most of the girls had already taken up the stalls. She waited, and remained quiet as they each made a comment leaving in turn. Nothing really biting, just stupid little quips. “Watch your feet ladies, you don’t want to walk through the yellow water… Hey Tori, wake up to a golden shower this morning?” and other things that by themselves wouldn’t have really bothered anyone, but worked like small waves eroding the wall that was Hannah’s self confidence.
Eventually a shower opened up and Hannah quickly jumped in and shut the curtain, hoping that the warm water would wash away the bad beginning of what was likely to be a long day. If its one thing she’d found, dirt washes off a lot easier then embarrassment. After 20 mins of scrubbing, Hannah felt just as dirty as when she’d gotten in. She turned off the shower head and dried off. If she took any longer she’d be late for breakfast and she needed to go move her sheets along in the laundry.
Usually Hannah sat with a group of friends for breakfast, and even with this morning’s drama she knew they wouldn’t desert her, but she decided to let them off and just grab a bite and go. She didn’t need to impose on them. They were stalwart friends, but they didn’t need the extra gossip and stares they’d be apart of if she sat with them.
The morning progressed uneventfully, and a fight between two of the older girls did a lot to help the wagging tongues not talk so much about her. She did however have to deal with the dirty looks Tori kept giving her. By the end of the morning classes, she was almost hopeful this would all just blow over. She even sat with her friends at lunch.
After the second leg of classes, the club period rolled around. From 2 to 5 every day, all the girls in her school had to go to their club. Clubs could be sports, like their field hockey and lacrosse teams, or clubs could be hobbies and interests, like their chess club, and home-ec club (the Betty Crocker’s as they were called). If you didn’t play a sport, or wish to take part in a hobby, that was fine, you could be a part of the “bang erasers to get the chalk out of them” club. It didn’t really matter so much as you did something productive for those three hours every school day.
Hannah was a part of the literary fiction club. A group of girl’s who had sort of a reading and creative writing circle going. Today though, there was a woman waiting outside her class as she was about to head off to the library.
She was kind of short for a teacher and kind of young too. She had light red hair, the sort of color that you can’t really tell if it’s blond or red under different lighting. Hannah had seen her before; she was a teacher in the elementary section of her school.
“Oh, hi Ma’am,” Hannah replied not sure why she was being stopped.
“Hello Hannah, my name’s Michelle. Would you mind walking with me a little bit? Nadia asked me to come get you.”
“Um… sure,” Hannah said politely. She shouldered her bag and waved to her friends. She told them she’d be late to club and walked off with Michelle.
“You’re going to be moving to my dorm,” Michelle said casually once they were crossing the main yard and there was no one within ear shot. Hannah stopped walking.
“There must be some mistake…” Hannah gasped.
“No, the principle called me this morning. I’m going to help you gather your things and we’re going to move you over to my dorm right away.”
“But but… You don’t have a high school dorm do you?”
“No, I’m a resident teacher to one of the elementary school dorms.”
“I… I’m in high school… you know that right? The principle knows that right?”
Michelle sighed, but nodded. She had expected this. “Yes Hannah. We know you’re 14. But, before you protest any further, I want you to understand there are a few bedwetters in my dorm and we’re better… equipped… to deal with this sort of problem.”
Hannah’s jaw clamped shut. So much for it just blowing over. She wanted to cry, she wanted to yell, she wanted to go curl up in some corner and die. Instead she started walking fast, Nadia wouldn’t do this too her… would she?
Michelle sighed again and started walking after Hannah. This wasn’t really something she was looking forward to dealing with, but in the end, her reaction hadn’t been all that different than a lot of the residents in her dorm when she’d sat down and discussed how best to deal with this sort of problem.
When Hannah found Nadia, she was wheeling a large laundry bin from the laundry room to Hannah’s door. The bin would make moving easier. She wasn’t surprised to find Hannah looking the way she did when she came practically at a run towards her.
“Nadia I’m being…”
“Moved… Yes, I requested you were.”
It almost looked as if Hannah had run into an invisible wall. She stopped in place and started breathing hard. “But… but… you can’t? I’m a high schooler?”
“A high schooler with some problems that need sorting out. It’s okay… Sometimes you need to take a step back before you can take two steps forward.”
Hannah knew that was a honeyed lie to help her swallow this nasty pill. “I won’t! I refuse!”
Michelle gave a shrug when Nadia looked her way, but she sighed all the same and put a hand on Hannah’s shoulder. “You don’t have a choice I’m afraid.”
Hannah started crying. Life was going to be over…
The door to her room was opened and Hannah’s stuff was packed up. She just sat on her bed crying. With Michelle and Nadia doing the work, it didn’t take very long. Hannah didn’t have a whole lot in her room to begin with. Books, clothes, a lamp, some make up. There was a small TV, but each room had one, and Michelle assured her it was the same over in her new dorm.
The campus of their school wasn’t really that big. The elementary dorm was only just across the yard, about 400 feet from the high school dorm. It felt like 3 miles to Hannah. She walked slowly behind the two older girls, carrying her pillow, finding some solace in hugging it while the rest of her stuff was pushed in a bulk laundry bin. As she walked, she contemplated calling her parents and telling them what happened. Although, given how paranoid they were about everything (she went to an all girls catholic boarding school for Christ’s sake) they’d probably have done something much worse… like put her in a crazy camp for bedwetters or something.
“It’s not the end of the world Hannah, try not to look like we’re marching you off to prison,” Nadia said trying to sound cheerful.
Hannah just frowned. “You’re not the one moving there.”
“All my little kids are really nice, I think you’ll really enjoy the elementary dorm,” Michelle added.
“I’m not a little kid and I don’t appreciate going to live with them,” she replied coldly.
Nadia and Michelle looked at each other but there wasn’t much they could do. If anything, they could both understand her disposition given the situation. At least she’d come along without a fight.
A few of the other clubs were out in the yard. The sculpture group was working on the school’s mascot (a puma) that guarded the entrance, and some of the sculptor’s took note of the laundry bin and an unhappy looking Hannah. The chemistry club and even the fiction writing club that Hannah belonged too, could see her through the main buildings windows. She was starting to wish this could have waited till dark, or during dinner or something.
Nadia held the door open and Michelle pushed the cart in with Hannah following slowly behind. She had made up her mind to be of no help what so ever in this move. They were moving her against her will, so she was not going to lift a finger to accomplish it.
The first thing she noticed upon entering the dorm was how much more colorful it was compared to her own, or actually, compared to her former dorm, she thought with a sting. Beyond color, everything seemed a bit smaller and lower to the ground. There was a water fountain in the hallway she’d practically have to get on her knees to drink from, and most of the door handles looked low enough that she could work them with her feet if she had her shoes off.
“It’s the room at the end of the hall, number 16,” Michelle told Nadia, handing her a key. She walked ahead to open the door for the cart.
Hannah was thankful the hallway was empty of its inhabitants. Everyone was in a club or sport at the moment.
“Can I just go to my club?” Hannah asked as she came into the room. She hoped that she could just walk away from this, and come back to her old room later, pretend it was yesterday.
“Why don’t you at least instruct us where you want everything,” Nadia asked pushing the cart into the room.
“Throw it all in a big pile in the middle of the floor. I’ll sort it later… if ever.”
Nadia sighed but began to put piles of clothes into neat stacks on the desk. Michelle helped her, and the two of them tried to get the room somewhat organized while Hannah sat staring off into the middle distance. She was sitting on the room’s bed, angrily thinking that it was low enough to the ground that her feet touched the floor and her knees we slightly above her lap.
After a few minutes of sighing and audibly making known her disagreement with her new arrangement, Hannah was struck by something Michelle had said earlier.
“How is this room better ‘equipped’ then my old room?”
Michelle and Nadia stopped what they were doing and looked at each other. They didn’t speak a word, but somehow something was said between them and Michelle quietly took a seat next to Hannah on the bed.
“In this room you’ll have privacy to deal with your issue, and… Well, to be honest, you’re not the only one who wets the bed in this hallway,” Michelle said putting a reassuring hand on Hannah’s shoulder.
Hannah shrugged off Michelle’s hand and scooted a little further away. “Well, what do you do with them? Put them in diapers and cribs?”
Michelle and Nadia looked at each other again and there was a moment of silence as Hannah’s mouth began to drop.
“Noooo… no… NO! You wouldn’t! You wouldn’t dare!?”
“We don’t put them in cribs,” Michelle said matter of factly.
“But you put them in diapers?! You… … you’re going to put ME in diapers?!”
Michelle and Nadia didn’t say anything, which was all the confirmation that Hannah needed. She bolted off the bed, and tried to run out the door, only to have Nadia grab her by the wrist and keep her just inside the room.
“Stop it Hannah, this isn’t going to be torture, its going to be for your own good.”
“I’m sure that’s what the Nazi’s told the Jews!”
“Hannah… c’mon you’re being ridiculous,” Nadia countered.
“I’m not a baby!!! I don’t want to wear diapers!”
“You won’t have to wear them all the time. You’ll only need them for bed.”
“I don’t want to wear diapers!” Hannah repeated. She tugged at Nadia’s hand, leaning toward the door and trying to get away. She didn’t know where she’d go, or exactly what she’d do, but at 14, she knew she just needed to run away from diapers.
Michelle marched in front of Hannah, blocking the door and trying to calm the teen. She put both her hands on Hannah’s shoulders. “It’s going to be okay. This isn’t going to be a permanent arrangement for the rest of your high school life.”
“I don’t want to wear them!”
“I understand that, but from what Nadia tells me, you’ve been wetting the bed for weeks now. You need to wear them for developmental and hygienical reasons. If you kick this little problem, you can stop. You can even more back to your old dorm.”
Hannah slowly stopped struggling. “Really?”
“Yes. As I said, this isn’t permanent. You’re just having a little setback, and once we help you get better, you won’t have to worry about this dorm any more. Okay?”
Hannah looked away. “Do I have a choice in this at all?”
“I’m afraid you don’t,” Nadia answered.
There was an overly dramatic ‘hmph’ and Hannah’s shoulders fell, her body language switching from hostile, to defeated.
Nadia slowly went back to finishing Hannah’s unpacking. “Look on the brightside, you have your own room now,” she said, trying to make the best of it.
Hanna slumped and fell face first on her new bed, lifting up one hand to twirl her finger in a circle. “Whoop de dooo…” she mumbled into the pillow. “My own room to wear diapers in.”
Nadia and Michelle unpacked her things in silence. It didn’t take much longer to finish up. Nadia gave Hannah’s shoulder a gentle pat, but the girl just ‘hmph’ed’ even louder and remained face down on her bed.
“I’ll be down the hall in my room grading papers,” Michelle said as she left with Nadia. “You can go to your club now… or just take a nap. I’ll come wake you when its time for dinner.”
Hannah didn’t say anything and both ladies left quietly.
Out of complete frustration and mental exhaustion from her upsetting day, it didn’t take long for Hannah to fall asleep. When feelings such as anxiety, embarrassment and shame combine together; the end result isn’t pleasant.
Hannah woke to find she’d drooled slightly on her pillow. She rubbed at her cheek with the back of her hand and slowly got out of bed, wandering like a ghost out of her new cell. The hallway was just as colorful as it’d been before her nap… if not more so. The bright pastels and babyblock lettering reminded her more of a nursery then elementary boarding facility. She largely ignored it as she trudged down the hall toward Michelle’s room.
As she got closer, she could hear that Michelle apparently had a few kids in her room. The door was open, so she just walked in.
The room was deceptively large. It looked like a whole daycare was fit into Michelle’s room, and a dozen or so toddlers were busy at play around the floor.
Hannah was surprised to find that she was apparently already there. On the middle of the floor and surrounded by two toddlers was herself, laying on her stomach and happily coloring. Her long hair had been put into a loose pony tail and fixed with a blue bow. Her usual school uniform had been replaced by a very short blue jean dress and pink t-shirt… neither of which hid the thick diaper poking out in the back.
Gasping, Hannah crept closer and looked at herself… how could she just be doodling and playing with toddlers like she wasn’t three times bigger then them or dressed inappropriately?
“What are you doing??” Hannah asked herself in shock, unable to form more precise words to explain her displeasure.
“Coloriiiinnnngggg…” was what she replied in a drawn out cutesy voice.
Hannah tried to think of a more intuitive way to question the existence of a diapered version of herself, but all she could do was stand there in shock. Little kids played and ran around, all seemingly unaware of her presence, or that of her toddler-self.
“Why are you dressed like that?” Hannah asked, grasping more of what was immediately wrong.
“Dressed like what?” she replied, not looking up from her coloring.
“In a diaper and baby clothes.”
“I have to wear a diaper, I’m not potty trained yet,” she said matter of factly. As if to emphasize that point, the girl suddenly stopped coloring and began to blush a little. “Uh… oh…” she whispered cutely.
Hannah didn’t know what was happening, but suddenly she felt her legs getting wet. She looked down and gasped to find she was wetting herself. She let out a shrill voice and covered her crotch with her hands, looking comically like a young child who was indeed having an accident in the middle of the floor and only just realizing it.
“Hannah! Noo! Quick get to the potty!” Michelle said at a run toward Hannah.
The real Hannah gasped and looked at Michelle in horror, she had apparently just come in the room and seen what she’d been doing. Hannah glanced back at the floor and found the toddler version of herself had disappeared.
“Wait! You’ve got the wrong me!” Hannah said suddenly confused.
Michelle rolled her eyes, looking over the poor girl as she came to the middle of the room. “Guhhh… and its all over the carpet… come on, that’s the third time this week. That means its back to diapers for you.”
“I don’t wear diapers!” Hannah said indignantly.
Some of the toddlers were watching her now. Hannah blushed and tried to pull her shirt down over the dark spot on her pants. She shuffled awkwardly so she wasn’t standing over the wet spot on the carpet either.
Michelle sighed and took her hand, pulling her over to the corner. “If you don’t want to wear diapers, maybe you should try a little harder at potty training.”
There was a changing pad in the corner and Michelle unbuttoned Hannah’s pants as she brought the girl next to it. Hannah just stared in disbelief, too confused, and unresponsive to effectively stop what was happening.
Hannah’s wet pants were pulled down. Her underwear followed next and she blushed bright red and tried to cover herself. Michelle rolled her eyes, but didn’t try to stop her. She grabbed a plastic box of baby wipes and took one out, running it along the sides of Hannah’s legs and then finally brushing her hands aside to get between Hannah’s thighs. She pulled Hannah down to the changing mat and Hannah allowed this, not entirely sure why… possibly because an adult was guiding her through something and she was without pants. Pants v. no-pants seemed to carry the popular vote.
A diaper was fluffed out, and her legs were raised before she was gently put to rest upon the babyish garment.
“I don’t want to wear it!” Hannah yelled as she struggled to roll out of the way. She kicked off Michelle’s hands, and rolled to her side… falling off the bed.
With a dull thud, Hannah writhed around on the floor, trying to get away till she woke up enough to realize there was nothing to get away from except her pillow. She slowly sat up and looked around.
“A dream?” she asked. There was no one there to answer, she was alone in the room. She was a bit disoriented at first, this wasn’t her room, why was she in here?… … and then she saw the wet spot on the center of the bed and she remembered.
She frowned and punched her pillow.
End chap 1.