Hi. I’m new here. I don’t know how far I’ll take this idea, but if I get a response, I’m likely to continue with it. I’d like to improve as a writer, so suggestions and criticism are more than welcome. Also, I’m not sure how to unbold pasted text, so apologies for that.
Monday, week 1:
I am writing this in crayon, on printer paper. Professor Klimowich has kindly allowed me to use as much as I’d like, but I’m still not used to writing journal entries this way. I feel extremely silly using so much paper to write so little. But, I suppose, since I’m sitting here in a diaper and a onesie at the foot of an oversized crib which is to be my bed, the idea that anything I do WOULDN’T feel extremely silly has practically gone out the window.
I’m trying to write this as much like a typical journal entry as possible. I’m cognizant of the fact that I may lose some of my mental faculties over the course of my time here, so I have resolved to record as much as I can.It may be that if I stay too long, my personal career in mathematics will be over. But if I record everything, if I’m meticulous enough, I just may contribute to mathematics as a whole.
My name is Katherine Fuller, and I am a graduate student in mathematics at Little Brook State University in Little Brook, California. My research is primarily in abstract algebra. It is my ultimate goal to prove the Bass-Quillen Conjecture but, well, I don’t know if I’ll come anywhere near that.
Supposedly, a former professor at Little Brook State, Professor Aleksandra Klimowich, has come closer to proving it than anyone else in the world. But after coming into a large inheritance seven years ago, she retired from teaching at the age of 34. No one besides her has been able to master the techniques she has developed. While she has retired from teaching, she does allow dedicated students to take private lessons with her, under certain conditions.
And, well, those conditions can be something of a barrier to potential students. She requires that students live with her at least five days a week, and allow her to dress and treat them like babies. And I mean that in the most literal possible way. As I have already stated, I am writing this in crayon while wearing a onesie and a diaper.
In future entries, I intend to go into further detail about the lifestyle she imposes on students. Maybe I’ll be better able to adequately describe it after a longer time of living it. For now, though, I would like to make a note of an aspect of this situation that is, to my mind, far more disturbing.
Students who stay with her for long periods of time begin to experience strange psychological effects. Chloe Adebayo, her most recent student excluding myself, left after only six weeks. She told me it had taken her the better part of a year to, through intensive potty training, regain basic daytime bladder and bowel control. She has further told me that she believes she will always have to wear diapers to bed.
The only other student to study under Klimowich, Andrew Nguyen, was not so lucky. He stayed with her for two and a half years, and after that, he went to stay with a “friend” of the Professor’s. When he was interviewed about any mathematics she may have taught him, he simply said “Aleksandra is sooo smart! She knows lots and lots about math, especially those plussy timesy things where you do the switcheroos! She knows lots about those!”
It is my understanding that the comment was in reference to Klimowich’s work on commutative ring theory, but in terms of mathematical substance, this is about all that could be gleaned from Nguyen’s comments. He had been considered one of the brightest young mathematicians in the world prior to his time with the Professor, and he could lecture with complete confidence in both English and (I’m told) Vietnamese. And while his mathematical ability, as demonstrated on multiple-choice tests, had not diminished, his language skills in both of his native languages had diminished to that of a small child, and he showed almost no understanding of social mores, interrupting an interview at one point to declare that he had a “poopie diapie.”
From my own experience, it seems surprising that his mathematical skills had not diminished. Today’s “math lesson” consisted of counting to five and identifying circles, squares, and triangles. I would write more, but I’ve already had to beg the Professor to postpone beddie-byes twice in the course of writing this. So I will conclude for now