the diapered highschool

In a small southern California town, right next to the Mexican border sits a highschool with 3000 students, it’s name is SM high and this is how the student body became diapered.

It started off small, the school was having issues with graffiti in the bathroom, so one by one they started locking them up. No matter how many bathrooms they locked up the issue continued, so one day, administration locked them all up.
The student body protested for days, saying it violated there human right, the school didn’t care, they were fed up with paying for graffiti removal. The protests were the usual sign and picket dance until one day.
Ana Martinez was a short Mexican girl, 4’9 with long black hair. She was lucky to be graced with a body and face from heaven, all the guys wanted her, until the accident. Ana was in 3rd period when her bowels started acting up, knowing there weren’t bathroom breaks she toughed it out. She held strong until lunch. She was walking the halls with her friend when she stopped, a cramp just hit and she wasn’t sure if she could hold it, she grabed her stomach. " what’s wrong ana?" Her friend asked. “nothing, I just really need to p…” Right then another cramp struck and with that a wet fart came out of anas leggings, then a small log of poo. " Ana, you didnt just…" Before her friend could ask, ana’s face went pale and her expression went blank while her body finished moving her bowels into her pants.“errrrggggggggg” splort* Ana was now grunting lightly while trying to finish her poop. Another minute of grunts, squishy noises, and farts, Ana looked at her friend with the reddest face “I…i don’t know what……why it…i just….” And right then and there she broke down sobbing. By then a few students were looking to see the commotion but Ana was spared the indignity of the whole school watching her poop her pants. Her friends gave her a hug and walked her to the nurses so that she could go home.

By 5th period Everyone had heard about Ana. Some students made fun of her and cracked jokes, but the majority felt pitty for her, and anger at the school for locking the doors.
A week passed, several more students had accidents, mostly urine but a few unlucky souls went poop in there pants. No matter how many accidents happened, the school wouldn’t budge. Students started thinking of ways to convince the school to open the bathrooms, that’s when Karla got an idea.
“diapers” she said. “what the fuck are you talking about?” Her friend asked. " diapers, we could wear diapers, if the school doesn’t want us using there toilets, we’ll show them the consequences of that, there entire student body wearing and using diapers." “your kidding right? Nobody is willing to do that, were trying to open the bathrooms so we don’t go in our pants, why the fuck would we start shitting ourselves? That’s counter productive and stupid as fuck.” “no but you don’t under…” Karla tried saying. “no! Think of something else, your plan is retarded, I’m not doing it, and none else will, drop it!”
Karla tried to say something but was interrupted"no, I don’t care, no." Her friend said.
The next day her friend was in 2nd period when she had to poop. “not here, please god no” she thought. She fought it with all her might, but 4th period was too much. It was bio and they were doing a lab, so standing up for 50 mins straight. “fuck my life” she thought. 34 mins in the period cramps came back “I can hold it” she thought. 5 mins before the bell went off for lunch, her lab partner decided (who’s been gone for 20 mins in the office" to surprise her from behind. “boo!” He yelled when he lightly shoved her from behind. That was the tiping point,her bowels exploded into her shorts, with squishy noises and farts, you saw her shorts start to expand and then say while she moved her bowels. Her bladder gave away as well leaving a puddle underneath her. She finished and looked at a shocked class, she ran out crying. Her mom picked her up and that was the end of her day.
A week later….
Karlas friend has had a few more accidents by now (just pee) but has hit her tipping point. She goes to find Karla. " I’ll try it" she says. “try what?” Asks Karla. “you know what I’m talking about, your retarded plan, I’ll try it.”
After talking for a little they decide to spread the word, a diaper protest of sorts. At first students weren’t too fond of it, but after a few more weeks of accidents and protests from both parents and students, a majority of the school decided to try it.
“the most important thing is to use your diaper, if you have to go, just go, wherever you are just stop and push, make it known to the school there making us do this, send them a message.” Karla would tell people.
So that day students went out to buy diapers, many ordered adult diapers online but it would be a few days before they were shipped so people just resorted to pull UPS and trainers, some bolder students just went in there pants without any protection.
5th period and Karla is wearing her first pull up. Walking across the room she gets to erg to bm, following her rules she decides to make an example of herself.
“uh oh, poopie time” she said, the entire class looked at her while she squated and began grunting, her skinny jeans expanding with every grunt. With a beet red face she continued to grunt while her pants make a popping, squishing noise. Her teacher is shocked beyond words and just stares at this 17 year old girl going poopy in her pants. After another grunt she stands up and says “all done” and proceded to sit in her desk, squishing her poop. The teacher orders her to the nurse soon after, still shocked.karla gets to the nurse and sees a small line of students outside of it. Some were obviously diapered, with girls wearing leggings over them, and some having there pants or legging say because of the messy load they deposited there. She stepped in line with a girl named lily who soaked her
Pampers. When the line started moving lily stays in place, karla looks over to see her clinching her fists and biting her lips, then slightly bends her knees to deposits her bowels into the diaper under her skirt.
END OF PART 1

Re: the diapered highschool

Yeah, uh… not so much…

In fact, I question whether you’re actually female. This smells like a D***er troll piece.

Re: the diapered highschool

Uh-mm, while this has the possibility of an interesting story line, I can’t say the execution is passable. (Decides not to leave scathing comments.)

Re: the diapered highschool

What is that called where something disturbs you so much, but you can’t look away? Train wreck syndrome? How did this even get through after the Summer Daycare thread?

Re: the diapered highschool

Because unlike that piece of shit they at least made an actual attempt at writing.

Huh… That filter replacement is very specific and shouldn’t have triggered on just the name. It’s only supposed to censor the actual link. :confused:

Re: the diapered highschool

How can you tell? (Not that I don’t trust you, I’m just curious what you see.) I mean T.S.D. was definitely in its in own class by far, but doesn’t this have all the same red flags other than size? The grammar, the spelling, the disregard for human biology and sociology. (With all that grunting and “splorting” they really should see a doctor) New member with only one post… You get the idea. This isn’t just a 1ht, this is a “Look, Ma, no hands!”

Re: the diapered highschool

  1. Paragraphs
  2. Dialog
  3. The auto-release tool didn’t find anything obviously wrong with it after running a Bayesian Analysis. Well that’s not entirely true, but it didn’t find enough issues to refuse to auto-release it.

And that is the last that will be said about the topic unless there is actual rules violation that you want to point out. This is not turning into a repeat of the T.S.D thread.

Re: the diapered highschool

You lost me on that 3rd one… :stuck_out_tongue:

Re: the diapered highschool

Translation: there’s something similar to a spam filter, but it’s designed to see if a post looks legit enough to automatically release it, rather than block it.

Re: the diapered highschool

How does one create such a filter? I’ve gotta say you’ve got me curious about it. I really wish fanfiction.net would employ such a filter, though… that would cut down on the level of crap that shouldn’t be there by at least forty percent.

Re: the diapered highschool

Funny part is that I used asterisks to spell it….

Re: the diapered highschool

Since it seems like the author is actually going to post more, and since I actually had to scroll down, to see the whole thing, I’ll leave some feedback.

First, paragraphs, punctuation, correct words.
There’s a ton of missing/incorrect words, you need to go back and read through this again. Read it aloud if you have to.

Missing punctuation makes reading difficult. There are plenty of run-on sentences, and the dialogue is a little goofy. Using asterisks for sound effects is one thing, but there’s at least one spot where the sound effects and “dialogue” of Ana grunting, run together. I’d suggest avoiding sound effects entirely, they’re more fitting in a comic.

Also, paragraphs; you need more. Every time there’s a new speaker: paragraph. Every scene change: paragraph. I see that you attempted to break it up, but there should at least be one empty line between each paragraph.

Now, onto the actual points of the story.
Perhaps you could introduce the plot a little more. The point of closing the bathrooms is lost if it takes only three sentences to reach get there.

Also, you referred to Ana as Mexican. Are you saying she’s Hispanic, or an actual Mexican citizen?

Why is Ana’s friend such an asshole?
Maybe you could explain their relationship a bit more. As it is, you only mentioned her as being a “friend,” sound she’s the only one you mentioned, I guess we’re to assume you mean best friend. Now if my friends responded with such rudeness and hostility, regardless of how retarded my suggestion was, I’d question the sincerity of their friendship. So yeah, a bit more character building wouldn’t hurt.

Then there’s the perspective. It doesn’t make sense. Half of the time, you’re narrating, like you’re bringing us up to speed from the last thing you’re actually interested in typing. Other times it’s just third person. My own lack of knowledge, unfortunately, doesn’t help me explain what I think is wrong. Maybe someone else will help.

Finally, the plot itself is paper thin. I understand this is fapfiction, but come on… As I said above, you need more story in this story. Nothing is elaborated or fleshed out. I know the details and plot development aren’t as fun to write as the diaper and accident scenes, but that’s what holds the story together. If you actually want to write a story, you’re gonna need to actually write a story. If you’re gonna just do fapfiction, then at least make it easy to read.

Now here’s a personal suggestion, because the “locked bathrooms” plot, would never actually fly, least of all in California. I’d have gone with graffiti, and maybe vandalism (like actually breaking stuff) to the point where there weren’t any bathrooms left. Now let’s say the school calls in port-o-johns (outhouses, dump huts, whatever) instead of fixing them. Why else might this be a problem? Maybe they only had a few of them, and since they’re outside in the sweltering SoCal heat, they’re just about unusable.

But just locking all the restrooms because of graffiti, that seems a little much.

Also, who’s doing the graffiti? Is there some kid, or group, who just wants to jack stuff up? Or is there some secret plot to destroy all the bathrooms and see what happens? Like some goofy social experiment.

Anyway, I think you should do a lot of fixing up and revising of part one, before you even worry about part two.

Edit: I hope this doesn’t double-post. I got some odd connection issues.

Re: the diapered highschool

Actually, not bad for a first story. It’s better than Summer Daycare.

Re: the diapered highschool

The bathroom graffiti in this story is probably better than Summer Daycare. That bar is so low you need to be a world champion level limbo dancer to go lower. ;D

Re: the diapered highschool

Okay, it was a low bar. However, it is not the level of bad that it is okay to make fun of. Encourage this user to write more and watch as they get better.

Re: the diapered highschool

It is a neat little story I like it but it is very different cause I don’t ever see this happening but for all I know is that it has or could happen in the future

Re: the diapered highschool

I think it’ll only be likely to set off that hair-trigger lawsuit button. Especially now, and even more so in the future.
That’s really my main complaint with the actual plot. It’s highly unlikely, and therefore unbelievable. The author should either explain better, or set up a more believable scenario.

Re: the diapered highschool

I agree that as far as fapfiction goes this is pretty decent, other than that I can’t add anything that hasn’t been said fully already.