Ok here are all the parts that were posted on the old forum
“Come here little girl! I am gonna give it to you this time! You’re 5 years old, it’s time you start learning some responsibility!” The man grabs his belt and whips it through the loopholes. "No daddy! Please no! SLAP “Get over here! SLAP SLAP SLAP That’ll teach you! SLAP You know the rules! SLAP SLAP “Owwwwwwww daddy pleeeaaaasee iiiimmmmm soooorrrryyy!” SLAP The drunk man began to tire and stumbled back to the chair, grabbed his bottle of whiskey and slammed the remains of the bottle. The little girl quivered and watched him in fear from the kitchen floor as he googled his eyes at her. “Let’s try this again little girl” She felt a sudden queasiness as he stumbled his way to her and she closed her eyes”
“NO!” Annie woke up in a cold sweat and realized where she was. As she sat there on the wet cold pavement near the dumpster. She leaned back against the stone wall and looked up into the sky. Annie was just another homeless 5 year old out on the streets in the city. People walked on by and never noticed her or they would push her out of the way disgusted by her appearance. All she had was her dingy-once-pink-now-brown jumper and white canvas shoes that were now dirty. Being small for her age at only 3’2" tall and maybe 40 pounds she was easy to step on and ignore. She carried her rag doll still with her which was in no better shape than she. It was about 2 weeks ago that Annie was “misplaced” on the streets.
She stood up and realized that once again she was not only wet because of the wet pavement. She had been having terrible dreams that brought her back home in the hell she was raised in. Mom died when Annie was only 2 leaving her in her father’s care. After her mother died her father began to drink away the hurt and lonliness. Annie then became not only a burden but a ragdoll to her father as well. She had no childhood, she didn’t experience what most babies and children do in her short 5 years. But now she was free and very alone and very hungry.
She began to walk clinging tightly to her ragdoll who she referred to as bink. Her legs cold and slightly itching and stinging from sitting in her own urine. She walked to the park and sat down watching the other children playing. Watching the parents hugging and kissing away their children’s boo-boos and pushing them on the swings and catching them from the slides. She leaned up against a tree and closed her eyes.
Barb was a quiet, reserved woman. Everyday around 9am she would take her walk and stroll through the park to see the wonderful children. She never had any of her own because of infertility. Barb and her husband split up 5 years ago and she was very alone. At 38 she came to the realization that she would be alone and was as content as she she could be.
When she turned the corner on Gilmore Avenue she could hear the childrens laughter and she smiled to herself. As she neared the park trail she slowed her pace a little to watch. She began to pick the pace up again as she passed by. “Oh how I wish I had children of my own!” She said to herself. She looked over and saw the little girl she saw everyday about this time sitting alone watching the children. She noticed the little girl was always propped up against the same maple tree with her ragdoll. Yesterday she noticed that she had seen this little girl 4 times prior and decided one more time and she would talk to her. So she veered off the path and sat down on the grass a few feet from her.
She noticed how small this child was. She could be no more than 4-5 years old. Her tangled brown hair in a ponytail that really was just half out and one big knot. Her clothes were worn slightly and dirty. Her face was masked with dirt and remnants of dried tears. Her eyes were sunken in and dark.
“Hi little girl, Im Barbra.” The little girl obviously startled popped her eyes open and inched back a little.
Awakened from her nightmare again. She heard a woman’s voice. She looked at the woman, and felt very uneasy. She had not had any attention unless she was being shooed away. This lady was smiling though. She had curly brown hair with a few blonde highlights pulled back into a ponytail and a baseball cap over. She had very nice tan skin and beautiful brown eyes. Annie just sort of gave her a half smile and clung on to bink.
The woman sat there quietly and watched the children with Annie. About 20 minutes passed and Barb got up, “would you like to swing too?” Annie shook her head. “Ok well I have to go on now then, have a good day sweety.” Annie watched the woman walk off and felt a slight relief that she was gone. But in a way wanted her to come back. She got up and began to follow her.
As Barb slowly walked home she could not get the little girl out of her head. How little she was and how someone could not want this little girl. “She is way to little to be on her own” She thought. “Maybe I should call some one about it, they have to do something at least!” But there was a knot in her stomach that wanted to turn around and go back and scoop her up and tell her she would never be thrown away again. She felt a tear and kept walking towards home.
Barb neared her front door went inside. She walked into her bedroom and stripped to go take a shower. As she felt the warm water hit her skin relaxing her, she almost felt guilty. Thinking of the girls ratted hair and her dirty face and legs. “I wonder how long it has been since she has washed” she thought to herself.
“What a big house!” Annie whispered to herself as she hid across the street watching the woman walk inside. Although it was a simple 2-story, it seemed like a mansion compared to Annie’s trailer she grew up in. As she thought about that trailer, she could still smell the stale smoke and whiskey remnants. The rotten garbage and the smell of urine emanating from Annie’s room. Annie had no bladder problems until her father began to molest her a few months ago. Now she could have a dream or a similar feeling or even a man who had a familiar face would stop Annie dead in her tracks and with a puddle underneath. And now that she had been on the streets, it happened often. She didn’t even have her panties anymore because they were so icky.
She got up and walked back towards the park to go back to her “home” She was getting hungry and she was sure the park garbages would have fresh food from the picnics this morning.
Barb got out of the shower and changed into fresh clothes and wandered into the kitchen to make herself a light lunch. As she was smearing mayonnaise on her sandwich, she thought again about the little girl in the park. “Maybe I should take a couple over there” She made two more sandwiches and packed them in some plastic sandwich bags and into a brown sack. She got into her car and drove to the park.
Annie trudged her way slowly through the park. She could feel the sun getting hotter by the minute as noon approached. She began to feel very dizzy and nauseated from hunger. She began to dig into one of the trash cans and found remnants of a half eaten banana. She wandered off with her banana and drug her way to the next one. She found a bag of half eaten chips and half of a fast food burger. She took her prizes and went back to her home in the alley by the dumpster. She could hardly wait to eat, this was the most she has found lately. But the dizziness was really beginning to over come her. She started to feel very weak and sat down.
After a few moments she regained her composure and strolled back to “her spot” She finished her lunch and decided to go back to the park and take a nap in the shade. As she neared the park she saw a familliar person by her tree. It was that woman again! She came and sat by another tree close by and watched the woman eat her lunch.
Barb was disappointed she didn’t make it back before the girl was gone. She really felt a heart tug with this girl and wanted to know more. She finished her sandwich and left the bag with the other 2 sandwiches near the tree hoping the girl would find it before it went bad. She brushed her bottom off and began to go home. She stopped when she saw the little girl sitting only 20 feet from her.
Annie’s stomach growled as she watched the woman eat. How she longed for something fresh and whole. She could feel the wetness spreading under her and realized what happened. Annie was beginning to lose control down there partially from not having to use the toilet and partially from destroyed nerve endings. She saw the woman stand up and then her heart stopped when she seen the woman look at her. She didn’t know if she should run away but she was frozen where she was as the woman came near.
Barb walked up to the little girl and saw a terror in her eyes. “It’s ok, I’m not going to hurt you! I would like to be your friend.” Barb softly pleaded.
The little girl squeezed her rag doll and scooted herself back some. Barb stopped, she did not want to make the girl uncomfortable. She put the brown sack in front of her and backed away a little.
Annie just stared at this woman. “Why is she being nice? What does she want?” She did not know what to think or what to do. She squirmed uncomfortabley as her soked jumper was beginning to irritate her skin. She leaned forward and opened the brown sack. She pulled out 2 sandwiches, an apple, a little carton of milk, and some carrots. She looked up at the woman and felt a tear. She tried to smile but could not.
Barb watched the little girl desperately pull the food out in amazement. The little girl looked up at her teary eyed. Barb’s heart melted right then and there. She sat down next to her as she gobbled up the food. She wanted to help this girl but knew how risky it can be to take in a broken child that is accustomed to life on the streets. She did not know it had only bee a couple weeks.
As Annie finished up the last of her milk, she turned to the woman and choked out a weak and raspy “Thank you lady”
“My name is Barb, little girl, what is yours?”
“Well Annie, it is great to meet you!”
Annie just let out a weak and unsure smile. “I better go now.”
As Annie got up she forgot about her “accident” and revealed a very wet behind to Barb.
Barb saw the wet spot and stood up as well. “Annie, do you have some place to go?” Annie nodded. “Well be sure to change out of those clothes and take a nice warm bath ok?” Annie looked down and nodded again.
Barb watched the little girl trudge her way down the path. She knew the little girl had no where to go. But couldn’t just make a child come home with her as much as she wished she could.
Barb went home and watched TV for the rest of that evening thinking about Annie and how she could help her.
Annie sat next to her dumpster and daydreamed of a normal life. She closed her eyes in hopes of something other than a nightmare and wet pants. But as she drifted off, she had the same recurring dream she had everytime she closed her eyes. Annie slept as the sun went down and was awoke by an odd sound. Somebody was in the alley, some man, and he was drunk. She froze in fear as floods of memories and pain from her father washed in. Until she was staring him right in the face.
“My little Annie, daddy has missed you! Come here, come to daddy little girl. Be a good girl for your daddy.”
“NO!” Annie jumped up and took off running, feeling the stream down her legs as she ran. She kept running and running. She could hear his voice behind her trailing off.
“Get back here you dirty little girl! Get back here to daddy! Youre gonna get it this time!”
She kept running until she realized she was in front of Barb’s house. She wanted to knock, but she was scared. She could hear her father’s voice ringing in her ears. She could smell the rotten breath of alcohol and cigarettes. She could still feel his hands running across her arms. She closed her eyes, she could not shake these images. They were so transparent in her mind she began to cry. She kneeled down and rocked herself to sleep in the grass.
Barb heard something outside. She was a little nervous as it was pretty late for any visitors. She looked out the window and discovered something. She couldn’t quite make out what or who was there. She went from window to window to figure out what this was. Then she saw it. The little feet of a child. She gasped and knew who was there. She flew outside and noticed she was sleeping. Barb did not want to wake her nor did she want to scare her. She went inside and grabbed a blanket and put it over Annie. She stepped back and sat down on the front step. She heard some commotion down the street. “Hmmph some drunken old unhappy man” Barb thought. But then she heard a familiar name. Annie? Was this man yelling for Annie? She got uneasy and decided to take her into her house. Barb picked her up and wrapped her in the blanket and brought her in, laid her on the spare bed.
“Come here little girl! I am gonna give it to you this time! You’re 5 years old, it’s time you start learning some responsibility!” The man grabs his belt and whips it through the loopholes. "No daddy! Please no! SLAP "Get over here! SLAP SLAP SLAP That’ll teach you! SLAP You know the rules! SLAP SLAP “Owwwwwwww daddy pleeeaaaasee iiiimmmmm soooorrrryyy!” SLAP The drunk man began to tire and stumbled back to the chair, grabbed his bottle of whiskey and slammed the remains of the bottle. The little girl quivered and watched him in fear from the kitchen floor as he googled his eyes at her. “Let’s try this again little girl” She felt a sudden queasiness as he stumbled his way to her and she closed her eyes. She felt his sweaty body on top of her, her bottom began to hurt and she couldn’t help but scream “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DADDY STOP! DADDDYY NOOOOOOOOO!”
“NOOOOOOO PLEAASSSSSSEEEEE DADDDYY!! OWWWWWEEEE!” Annie jumped up and opened her eyes. Only she wasn’t outside. As she felt the similar warm wet feeling she knew what was happening.
Barb awoke to screaming and flew out of bed and down the hall, she opened the door to where Annie was and turned on the light and stared into the eyes of a bawling terrified child.
Barb walked over to the bed and sat down, she could tell Annie was confused and frightened at how she had gotten here. Annie pulled the covers up to her mouth and began to cry.
“Heyyy, what’s the matter sweety?” Barb asked.
Annie just kept crying. Barb reached over and pulled her into a hug and seen the wet spot on the bed.
“It’s ok, everybody has accidents, we’ll get this cleaned up and get you all cleaned up and everything will be plenty fine dear!”
Annie nodded and wiped her eyes.
Barb walked into the hallway and grabbed some fresh sheets from the closet, unfortunately she did not have rubber sheets as she never had any use for them. “I guess we’ll just clean up again in the morning.” She thought. She walked back into the room and stripped the bed, she noticed the mattress was pretty wet as well and decided to leave it as is to dry. She carried the sheets down the hall and into the washer. She came back into the bedroom where Annie was sitting on the mattress looking down and very ashamed.
“Should we get you washed up hon?”
Annie nodded and followed Barb into the bathroom. Barb began to fill up the tub and put some bubbles in the water. She came over to help Annie with her clothes and Annie backed away. She would not let Barb near her.
“Don’t be scared, I won’t hurt you. Would you like to do it yourself?” Annie nodded.
“Ok, just call me if you need anything ok?”
“Ok” Annie whispered. And Barb walked out. Annie took off her clothes and got into her bath. She washed off her body but not her hair, she wasn’t sure how to on her own. Back at home daddy gave her her baths, which definitely was not a fun time like it should be for little girls.
She grabbed a towel from the basket next to the tub and dried off. She went to grab her clothes and realized they were still wet from her nightmare. She walked out of the bathroom and into the living room where Barb was watching some infomercial.
“All cleaned up?” Barb asked, noticing the dirt on her face and her still knotted hair. Annie shrugged. “My clothes are icky still” Annie said quietly. “Thats ok, Ill give you a Tshirt to wear” Barb chirped. She took Annie’s hand and led her into her bedroom. She found a smaller tshirt and handed it to Annie. “Here I will leave for a minute I have to grab something anyways.” Barb said and shut the door behind her.
Annie slid the Tshirt over her head and pulled it down, it went halfway past her knees and the sleeves hung down her arms almost all the way. Barb walked back in carrying a box.
“Annie I noticed you have no underwear and I certainly don’t have any in your size so I am going to use a cloth diaper.” Barb said. She had diaper rags because she used to be a house cleaner and they worked best for cleaning.
Annie just nodded, her face reddened a little. "Why don’t you lay down on the bed and I will pin one on quick so we can go to sleep. Annie backed away again. “No” She said quietly. “Sweety I know you are scared, but I promise I will not hurt you, I only want to help!”
Annie shook her head, “I don’t need that, I promise I won’t have any accidents.”
Barb didnt want to scare the girl so she agreed.
“Lets go make a bed for you then ok?”
Annie followed Barb back into the spare bedroom and watched as Barb laid a blanket on the floor. “Here you go why don’t you lie down and I will cover you up” Barb said as she handed her the pillow. Annie laid down and Barb covered her up with another blanket. “Goodnight, Ill see you in the morning!” Barb said as she turned off the light and went to bed.
“I wonder what this child has been through” Barb thought to herself. She got into her bed and and went to sleep.
Annie opened her eyes. She sat up and looked around and remembered where she was. She felt a familiar feeling underneath her and realized she had wet the bed again. She began to feel panic as she remembered she told Barb she would not have an accident. Just then Barb peeked her head in. “Good morning Annie. Are you hungry?” Annie nodded but quickly stopped and began to shake her head no. She couldn’t get up, Barb would then see what she did. She did not want to make her mad.
“Your not? Are you sure? I made some waffles and sausage, and I have some fresh fruit and juice out there!”
Annie’s stomach growled and she looked up and she felt tears begin to stream out.
“What’s wrong honey?” She said as she walked over to her. She knelt down and smelled the urine and realized what was wrong. “Annie it’s ok, it was just an accident! Im not upset at all! Let’s get you another shirt and we can eat breakfast and then we’ll get you cleaned up ok?”
“Ok” Annie mumbled. She stood up and followed Barb to the bathroom and waited while Barb ran to her bedroom for a shirt. She came back and handed it Annie the shirt and walked out. Annie threw the wet shirt into the tub and put on the clean one and walked out into the dining room. She could smell the food and it smelled amazing. She heard her stomach growl again.
“You can sit here.” Barb said as she set a plate down in front of a chair. Annie climbed into the chair and stared at the food. This was gourmet compared to the moldy bread her father would toast for her. And way more gourmet than the day old pizza she would find in the garbage cans in the park. She dug right in and barely tasted a thing or chewed it for that matter.
Barb watched Annie eat and felt so bad for this little girl. “How long have you lived in the park?” She asked Annie. Annie shrugged, “My dad brought me there 10 days ago, and then he told me I couldn’t come back home with him. He drove away and I got scared so I slept behind some buidings by a big garbage.” she mumbled.
“10 days? All by yourself? How did you do that? You are just a little girl!” Barb exclaimed.
Annie shrugged again and kept eating. She didn’t want to think about the park again or even that she would be back there agian tonight. She felt the feeling of dread knot up in her stomach again.
“Would you like to take another bath Annie?” Annie nodded and walked into the bathroom and watched Barb fill up the tub again for her.
After a few minutes Barb turned the water off and grabbed the shirt that was in there before and walked to the laundry room. Annie got into the tub and she began to wash her body again like she knew how to do. She heard a knock at the door.
“Annie? Would you like me to help you wash your hair?”
Annie called out, “No I will do it”
Annie laid back and put her hair back into the water and scrubbed it. She pulled out the hairtie that was still hanging onto barely nothing. She sat up and grabbed the shampoo bottle and squirted some into her hands. She lathered her hair up and leaned back again let her hair go under the water and she sat back up. She got out of the tub and grabbed another towel and walked into the living room. Barb was sitting there reading and she looked up and smiled.
Barb looked at Annie huddled in her towel shivering shampoo suds still in her hair and her face still dirty. She got up and walked over to Annie.
“Honey let me help you, its ok, I promise.” She grabbed Annie’s hand and led her back to the tub. Annie began to feel nervous and scared about Barb being in here. She began to back away but Barb held out her hand again. “It’s ok, I am not going to hurt you sweety.” Annie inched near her and grabbed her hand. Barb pulled the towel off of her and helped her back into the tub. She grabbed the cup and turned the water on and filled it. " Look up!" She said as she pured water over Annie’s hair. She grabbed the shampoo and scrubbed her hair and filled her cup up again. “Ok, look up again sweety!” Annie tilted her head back and Barb poured a few cupfuls of water over her hair. She then grabbed the conditioner and repeated the process. She then grabbed a washcloth and poured some soap into it and lathered it up and began to wash Annie’s face, and then her neck and as she got to her arms Annie began to cry. “Please stop, please!” Barb stopped and asked her, “What is wrong, am I hurting you?” Annie just looked down. “May I please get out now?” Barb helped her up and out of the tub and handed her the towel. “Im sorry Annie, I know you are scared.” She whispered as she pulled the girl into her chest and hugged her. “Let’s get dried off and dressed, and I’ll take you to get some clothes that fit ok?” Annie pulled her shirt over her head and handed her towel to Barb. Barb ran into the laundry room and switched loads and came back to the bathroom. She began to comb Annie’s hair and helped her dry it and pull it back into pigtails.
Barb ran out and got Annie’s clothes that she had washed from last night and handed them to her. “Here, put these on till we can get you some new clothes.” Annie changed into her clothes and came out. Barb was on the phone with someone so Annie sat down onto the couch and waited. She heard her talking about police and her daddy and her and the park. Barb hung up and came around the corner, “Ready?” Annie nodded.
They walked out the door and got into Barb’s car. Annie had never ridden in a car this nice. It had soft leather seats and it was clean, it didn’t smell of old food and stale cigarettes. It also was not as loud as her father’s was. She could actually hear the radio without having to have it blasting in her ears. They arrived at the mall and Barb helped Annie back out of the suburban. She grabbed her hand and they walked to the doors. Barb led Annie to a children’s store and they went through and looked at the clothes. Annie could not believe how nice these clothes were, and how many there were. She usually got her clothes from neighbor’s hand-me-downs and garage sales. She was excited to be able to get something new!
Annie followed Barb through the aisles admiring all the bright colors and pretty dresses. They tried on shoes and hats. Barb would turn around every once in awhile and hold clothes out for Annie to see and choose. After about an hour Barb turned around, “Are you ready? I think we got what we need for now! Is there anything else you would like to get?” Annie shook her head no. So they walked up to the register and Annie watched the clerk scan the clothes. “$56.78” she said to Barb. “This lady must be rich!” Annie thought to herself thinking back to the garage sales when her father and her would have just as much and it came to 5 or 6 dollars which seemed like a lot for her then anyways. Barb paid and grabbed her bags and held out her hand and smiled at Annie. Annie just looked at her for a moment, then embraced the hand and let out a half smile. They walked back out to the car, as they were walking she felt a tingle and knew she had to go but as soon as the thought came so did the wetness. She was so used to not holding it for the last few days that it was almost habit. She began to cry in shame again. Barb looked down and realized what happened and she stopped and knelt down beside Annie. “It’s ok, you don’t need to be ashamed Annie, but let me know when you have to go so we can get you to the potty. It’s just an accident and we’ll get you cleaned up and changed in no time ok?” Annie looked down and nodded, she wiped the tears from her eyes.
Barb led Annie back into the mall and into the bathroom. She handed her some underwear, only they were different, they were thicker. She handed her a pair of pink overalls and a white tshirt with a pink flower on the front. Annie went into the stall and took off her wet clothes and put on her new ones. She came out and handed the wet clothes all balled up to Barb, Barb just threw them out since they were stained and wearing. She helped Annie wash her hands and tie her shoes and they went back out to the car.
“We have one more place to stop ok Annie?” Annie replied, “ok”. So they drove off and within minutes Annie saw a big “Wal Mart” sign. They pulled in and parked and Barb came around to help the little one out of the suburban. They walked inside and Barb grabbed a cart. She looked down at Annie, “would you like to walk or sit in the cart?” Annie pointed at the childs seat and Barb lifted her into it. They walked in and Barb started with the groceries, she grabbed some fresh vegetables and fruits and a few other things. Then she turned the corner and came to the baby section. Annie looked around “this is not my kind of clothes” she thought. But Barb pushed past the clothes and formula and bottles and came to the diaper aisle. “I am going to get you some pull-ups for night-time ok sweety?” Annie nodded, she was confused, was she staying at Barb’s again? If so, she didn’t want to wear the pullups but did not want to have any more accidents either. Barb grabbed a couple packs and they went on to the bedding section and grabbed some plastic sheets. Then they made there way up to the registers. Annie waited as Barb paid for the items and then she helped her back down out of the cart and they walked back out to the car. Barb lifted her in and put the stuff in the back. Soon they were heading back to Barb’s house.
“Are you hungry, Annie?” Annie nodded. So Barb ran through the McDonald’s drive-thru. “What would you like honey?” Annie couldn’t read the menu but knew what she wanted. “Happy Meal” Annie whispered. “What kind?” Annie shrugged. “How about chicken nuggets then?” Annie nodded. Barb ordered their food and paid and set the bags on the backseat floor. Annie could smell the french fries and her stomach was growling now. She was excited, McDonald’s was a huge treat for her! They got back to Barb’s house and she helped Annie out. She handed Annie the McDonald’s bag and drinks while she grabbed the other bags. They walked into the house and Annie followed Barb into the kitchen. Barb set the bags down and grabbed the food from Annie and set it out on the table. Annie climbed up onto the chair and sat down. She opened her happy meal and took everything out. She was going after the toy first, which was just a plastic barbie that didn’t even mover her arms and legs like the ones she had at home. Although this one had clothes and she also had hair. She ate her food and played with her toy quietly.
Barb finished cleaning up for lunch and helped Annie find some cartoons to watch while she made a few phone calls. She wanted to call about Annie and her father and what she could do about it. She really wanted to adopt Annie but she knew that would be a fight knowing how the law liked there to be two parents and so on.
She noticed Annie rubbing her eyes and figured she must be sleepy. “Are you tired Annie?” Barb asked. Annie nodded as she yawned. So Barb grabbed her pillow and pulled the blanket off the chair. “Let’s get a pullup on you first ok sweetheart?” Annie whispered, “ok” Barb grabbed the package and pulled one out and handed it to Annie. “Just put it on like you would your underwear ok?” Annie nodded and walked into the bathroom and pulled off her overalls and her underwear. She slipped on her pullup which felt similar to her underwear Barb bought for her. She smiled at the Disney Princess designs on it. She grabbed her overalls and underwear and walked out to the living room. She handed them to Barb, who folded them and laid them on the chair. Annie climbed up onto the couch and laid down, Barb covered her up and turned the volume on the TV down a little so she could make her calls and Annie could nap.
When Annie awoke she sat up and rubbed her eyes, familiarizing herself once again to where she was. She looked around but did not see Barb. She laid back down and watched the cartoons on the TV. She then heard Barb saying thanks and good bye faintly from the back bedroom as the door opened. Annie sat back up to look. Barb came out and down the hall, “Hi Sweetie! Did you sleep ok? You must have, you slept for 3 hours! How about a snack?” Annie nodded, “yes please” She pulled the blanket off and remembered she still had on her pullup and it was wet. She felt her face redden. “It’s ok Annie, let’s get a snack then we can change ok?” Annie mumbled “ok”
Barb poured up some grape juice and took out some cookies and set them out on the table.
Barb put a napkin in front of Annie and held out the plate while Annie grabbed a cookie.
“Annie, I would like to talk to you about some stuff. That will require you to talk to me though. I know you are confused and scared, but I am not here to hurt you, I am here to help you and care about you. I know it will be hard to trust me but if you can try that would be great. Do you understand?” Annie replied, " Yes that is ok"
“Annie, I would like to take care of you, I would like you to live here now. And it is something that I am working on with the county, its a hard process and I am not sure if I can win it. The county would rather you go into a foster home or a center. Now, I have to tell you something else as well. I need to know where your dad lives or your last name so I can turn him in. And you will have to tell me and/or the police what happened the day he left you and what happened at home ok? I know that it will make you feel sad but please know that I am here to help you ok?” Annie nodded. She could feel the knot tense up in her stomach and the tears burning to come out of her eyes. “I don’t want to go back to daddy” She whimpered. Barb came around the table and knelt down in front of her chair, “Annie, you don’t ever have to go back there, but you have to tell someone what went on there so we can make sure you never go back.” Annie slid off the chair and into Barb’s arms and began to cry. Barb pulled her in close and felt tears in her own eyes.
Barb stood up still holding Annie, who was still whimpering on her shoulder. She went and sat down on the chair and rocked with Annie until she calmed down.
Annie sat up and looked at Barb, “I have to go potty.” Barb picked her up and set her on the ground and led her to the bathroom. Annie looked up at Barb, “Not anymore, I can’t hold it.”
“You just wet now?”
Annie nodded. “I don’t know how to hold it in long. It just comes.”
Barb knelt down, “That’s ok, we will just keep you in pullups until we can work on holding it ok?” Annie nodded. Barb went and grabbed another pullup and handed it to Annie.
Annie took the wet pullup off and threw it in the garbage and pulled the dry one up. And came back out to the living room. Barb was folding the blanket and putting back over the chair. She handed Annie’s overalls to her, “We are going to go over to one my friends houses tonight Annie, is that ok with you?” Annie nodded, “Yes its ok” Annie put her overalls on and then went to finish her cookie and juice.
Annie watched out the window of the suburban as Barb and her drove out of town. “I think you will like Lora! She has a little girl who is 4, I know its a little young but something to do! We will be there in about 45 min ok?”
Annie nodded, “ok.” And she drifted off to a light sleep.
“Annie…Annie sweety, wake up!” Annie heard in her half asleep dream mode. Annie opened her eyes groggily and Barb lifted her down from the suburban. “We’re here!” Barb chirped. Annie smiled and followed Barb to the door. The door opened and there was a middle aged woman who was slightly bigger boned with short dark hair and glasses. She smiled and knelt down, “You must be Annie?” Annie smiled and nodded as Lora patted her head and stood back up to give Barb a hug. “Come in ladies! Make yourself at home, I’ll finish up dinner here. Leanna is still asleep but she should wake up soon, ok Annie?” Annie smiled and simply nodded. She looked through the french doors of the living room and saw what looked like a play room, “Can I play with those toys?” She said shyly. Barb patted her back, "Go ahead dear, do you need a new pullup first? Annie nodded. Barb grabbed her bag and excused herself, “Come with me honey.” She whispered to Annie. They went into the bathroom and Barb knelt down beside Annie and reached into her bag and pulled out a bag with some pullups in it. “Would you like me to help you?” Annie shyly refused, Barb picked up her bag and walked out. Annie decided she would as well relieve her bowels while in the bathroom. After a couple minutes, Barb was knocking again, “Annie are you ok in there?” Annie called back, “Fine, I am using the potty.” “Ok” Barb said back. Annie heard her walk away. She finished up and got her new pullup on. She threw the other one in the trash.
Annie walked out and into the play room. She couldn’t believe all the toys this other girl had and felt a pang of jealousy towards her. She went over and started playing.
Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Barb was sitting at the table with her coffee talking to Lora. She was explaining the night she found Annie in the yard and how she had seen her 4 days in a row in the park. “I just feel so angry that someone could hurt a little girl, don’t parents realize how wonderful they are? That there are people everywhere who would give anything for a little girl like Annie. She is malnourished, underweight, practically mute, and distant. She won’t let me near her barely. She has been so hurt, and I am destined to find out what she has been through. She has not had a childhood for sure! Look at her in there.”
Annie was playing with a contraption you had to find the shape and the hole it went into. She knew her shapes, she was very smart in fact. She had learned how to plenty on her own. But these toys still fascinated her, she remembered having them as a toddler, in a way they reminded them of her mother still alive. She felt her eyes burn as the tears welled up.
“I really believe that you should let her live out her inner childhood, Barb. Who knows what went on, if she was always neglected or hurt in any way. But she shows signs of dissociation, which obviously means that somewhere, sometime in her past she stopped growing mentally and emotionally. She may be smart, but her mind is still in the state she left it at and thats where she will be until she is allowed to live it out. Does that make any sense?” Lora said with seriousness. “Yea, it does.” Barb replied. Lora got up and checked the oven. “About 10 more minutes and it should be ready ok?”
“Ok.” Barb replied, “Ill get Annie washed up.” And she walked into the playroom. Lora, on the other hand, went into Leanna’s room to wake her. As she walked in, Leanna was already awake and had climbed out of her crib, and she was playing with her poohbear toys on the floor. Leanna was still in her crib due to attachment issues. Lora didn’t mind though. "Leanna, it’s time for supper, let’s wash up, I want you to meet Annie.
Leanna jumped up and ran into the bathroom, she pulled her stool out and washed her hands and sang ABC’s. Thats how she knew she washed them long enough.
Barb walked into the playroom, she seen Annie’s sunken eyes and knew she was upset about something. “You ok, baby?” Annie nodded and rubbed her eyes. “Dinner’s ready, and Leanna is awake, would you like to meet her?” Annie shrugged and took Barb’s hand. She wasn’t really excited about it but she wasn’t scared either. They went into the kitchen and Leanna was sitting at the table waiting. Her eyes were still puffy from sleeping and her ponytail was hanging and loose and her curls were dangling wildly. Barb helped Annie into her seat next to Leanna.
“Annie this is Leanna, this is Lora’s little girl.” Barb said. Leanna smiled, Annie smiled back. Barb walked over by Lora to help her bring over dinner. Lora walked in with a green bean casserole and Barb followed with the fruit and bread rolls. Leanna crinkled her face, “Ewww mommy I don’t like that green stuff!” She whined. “Well, you can at least try it, otherwise there is bread and fruit!” Lora sternly said back to Leanna. Barb dished up Annie, “Annie would you like some casserole?” Annie nodded, “Yes please” Lora smiled, “See Leanna? It’s not that bad, Annie wants some!”
Leanna stuck her tongue out and made a gagging face.
After they were all dished up, they quietly enjoyed their meals, with an occasional conversation. When they were all finished, Lora shooed the girls off to go play. Leanna jumped down and tore into the playroom and Annie slowly got off her chair, “Can I stay in here with you Barb?” Barb smiled, “Yes you sure can, but I bet that play room would be way more fun than dishes and cleaning!” She said winking. Annie shrugged and walked into the playroom where Leanna was singing as she was playing with her mini kitchenette. “Would you like some coffee Annie? I have pizza with jellybeans too!!” Annie smiled and took the plate and cup from her hand and sat at the little table. Leanna pranced over with hers pretend meal and she began chattering away. Annie felt in a daze. Leanna was your usual hyper 4 year old who could daydream and make believe just about any situation. Annie was a daydreamer but not in a fantasy way, more just her mind would disconnect from the situation and she would find herself evaluating every aspect of a person or place……“Annie…Annniiieeee… earth to Annie” piped Leanna. “Did ya hear me or what?” she scoffed. Annie shrugged, “Sorry”
“That’s ok, what do you wanna play now?”
Annie just shrugged her shoulders and looked out the window. The sun was beginning to set and Annie was tired and most of all, her pullup was cold and wet. She wanted to go back to Barb’s. She got up and walked away towards the kitchen. “Hey where are you going??” Leanna asked. Annie kept walking.
Barb put away the last plate and dried her hands and the countertop off. She was backing up and tripped over something. “Oh dear! I am sorry Annie, I didn’t see you behind me, are you ok?” Annie nodded and whispered, “When are we gonna go to your house?”
“We will get going here in about 20 minutes ok sweety?” And Annie nodded and went into the TV room and sat on the chair to wait. Lora came out of the bathroom and smiled at Annie as she walked past. “Where is that little monster Leanna? I hope she didn’t scare you away!” She giggled. Annie just shook her head no. Lora went back into the kitchen.
“Well I think we better get going, we have an hour drive ahead of us now. Thanks so much for dinner! It was delicious!” Barb said as she hugged Lora.
“Anytime hon! I love having you over, and Annie too, it was nice to meet her!” Lora said back.
They walked into the next room where Annie was sitting quietly. Barb noticed her overalls were wet. "Uh oh, your leaking sweet heart! As she helped her off the chair. “At least its only on your pants.” She handed Annie another pull up and led her to the bathroom.
Leanna peeked around the corner and piped in, “Did she pee her pants? Ew!”
“Leanna Marie Larson!” Lora snapped. “Shhh, we will talk about that later! For now, keep quiet!”
Barb smiled and knocked on the door. “Annie, you all set?” Annie opened the door, with glazed eyes, Barb knew she was crying. She picked her up on her hip and walked to the door. She grabbed her bag and Annie’s shoes. “Thanks again Lora! Byebye Leanna!!”
“Bye” Leanna mumbled.
As the door closed behind them, Annie rested her head on Barb’s shoulder. “Im not sure if these pullups are going to work tonight Annie, I don’t want them to leak again!” She felt Annie nod on her shoulder. She opened the car door and strapped Annie in. “We may need to get you some sort of car seat. You are too light to not have one.” Barb said and closed the door.
Annie woke up to Barb carrying her back into the house. She sighed in relief to be somewhere comfortable. Barb carried her into the bathroom took her overalls off her, they were still a little damp and she didn’t want Annie to get a rash on her legs. “We may need to use the cloth diapers tonight honey. I know that you are uncomfortable with that.” Annie shook her head and opened her eyes wide, “Please no.”
Barb sighed, she so wanted this little girl to give in to her but she knew it would take time. She went and grabbed the plastic pants they got earlier and handed Annie a pullup and the plastic pants. “Put these over your pullup, it will catch any leaks.” Annie nodded and took the pants and pullup.
Barb was sitting in the living room when Annie came out. “Well we better get sheets on that bed so you can go to sleep huh little one?” Annie nodded. She didn’t want to go to bed as tired as she was. She didn’t want the nightmares or accidents. Together they walked into the bedroom. Annie could smell the urine from last nights accident and felt embarrassed. Barb went into the bathroom and came back with the febreze and sprayed the mattress and air. She put the rubber sheet on and the clean sheets over. “Ok sweety jump in, I’ll tuck you in.” Annie crawled into the bed and Barb handed her bink tucked her in. She sat down next to her and swept her bangs from her face and kissed her forehead. She whispered, "Sleep tight, little one, you know where I am if you get scared or if you need anything! “Goodnight Barb.” Annie said, she squeezed her doll close and closed her eyes.
[/i]Come here little girl, come to daddy, that’s a good little girl, daddy’s little girl. “NO DADDY NO! STOP! PLEASE STOP! OWY DADDY YOUR HURTING ME! YOUR HURTING ME! STOP!” Shut up! Be a good little girl!"[i]
NOOOOOOOOOO!!! MOMMMMMMMYYYYYY!!! Annie woke up in a puddle of sweat. “Mommy! Mommy!” she cried. She opened her eyes and realized where she was. Mommy was not here. She began to wail. Barb came in half asleep, “What’s wrong Annie?”
“I want my mommy!” She sobbed.
“Where is she, Annie?” Barb said as she pulled Annie into her arms and began to rock her.
“She went away, she is in heaven, she went away when I was really little” Annie whimpered, “I want her to come back now. I want my mooommmyy” she began to wail again.
It all of a sudden clicked in Barb’s head what was said earlier, Annie had stopped feeling and growing mentally and emotionally when her mother died. She wondered if that meant that if she was a happy toddler, then maybe she would be happier if she relived being a toddler. Barb continued to rock Annie as she started to cry softer and drift off. She noticed she was soaked. “Annie, can I change you? You are soaked.” Annie sleepily nodded. Barb laid her back on the bed and ran to get some plastic pants and cloth diapers and she found some pins. She came back in and Annie was still half awake holding her doll and to Barb’s surprise, thumb in her mouth.
She picked her up and laid her on the floor and pulled the plastic pants and pullup off her. She was covered in a huge rash, she noticed bruising around her thighs and began to feel nauseated. She gently wiped Annie off, who winced every time she was touched. In pain and fear both. Barb gently rubbed on some rash ointment and sprinkled powder on her. She lifted her up and place 2 diapers under her and pulled them up and pinned each one. She pulled her plastic pants up over her diapers and sat her up. Annie was a little more awake but still very groggy. Barb pulled her shirt off from earlier in the day and put a pair of her new jammies on her, A longer tshirt with ruffles on the bottom hem that slightly showed off her diaper. Barb giggled, She looked like a 2 year old only a little taller. She picked her up and hugged her again and laid her back into her bed. She tucked her back in and began to walk out when she heard Annie whimper.
She looked at Annie who was obviously beginning to cry again. “What’s the matter sweety?”
“Dont leave me to!” She whimpered. Barb walked back over and sat down. She lightly caressed the side of her head as she pulled the hair behind her ears.
“Im not going anywhere baby, I am here for you, I am waiting for you to trust me.” Barb whispered. She sat there and rubbed her head and back until she was asleep again. Thumb in her mouth and her doll pressed to her little body. Barb leaned down and kissed her forehead again. “Goodnight Precious.” She turned out the light and went to bed.
Annie woke up later in the morning. It didn’t take long for her to remember where she was this time. She wondered if she could just get out of bed, or if she had to wait for Barb to come in like she did with her father. He would get so angry if she didn’t wait for him to tell her to come out. She decided she would wait a little longer but she needed to relieve her bowels soon. After about 20 more minutes, she began to cramp up. She called out Barb’s name but there was no answer. She crept out of her bed and went to the door. She peeked out. The house was silent, “Maybe shes sleeping still” Annie thought. She went into the bathroom when she realized she didn’t have a pullup underneath and she remembered last night. She pulled her plastic pants down and fiddled with the pins but couldn’t get them down. She tried just pulling the diapers down but they were pinned on tightly. She pulled her plastic pants back up and walked into Barb’s room.
Barb was still asleep.
“Barb?” Annie whispered. She waited and a little louder, “Barb.” Barb opened her eyes, “Morning sweety, are you ok?” Annie shook her head. “I have to use the potty bad!”
“Annie you have your diaper. Might as well use it.” Annie shook her head again, “No not that kinda potty, the other.”
“ohhh ok baby, I’ll be right in.” Annie rushed into the bathroom, practically bent over trying to hold her stomach. Barb came in and saw her struggling. She rushed over and quickly pulled the pants half down and unpinned the diapers and lifted her up on the toilet just in time.
She grabbed the diapers and rolled them up and threw them in the basket and pulled the plastic pants off her and left the bathroom so Annie could finish up. She went and grabbed a pullup and brought it back to Annie.
Barb went into the kitchen and tried to decide what to make for breakfast. Just then the phone rang.
“Hi Ma’am, I need to speak with Ms. Barbra Sullivan please.”
“This is she”
“Barbra, please” she insisted
“Barbra, this is Officer Schwanke, I am calling on behalf of the complaint you put in on a missing girl named Annie.”
“Yes! What’s going on?”
"A man by the name of Roger Lampert was arrested and detained in detox the other night. He claimed that he was chasing his daughter who ran away. She is 5 years old, brown hair, 40-45 pounds. A little over 3 foot tall.
Just then Annie walked into the kitchen by Barb. Barb held out her hand for her to stop.
“One moment officer”
Barb leaned down. “Sweety is your fathers name Roger?” Annie nodded.
“Officer Scwhanke, his daughter is in my care right now.”
“Ok ma’am, why don’t you give me an address so I can come pick her up and take her home.”
“I said no!” Barb snapped.
“Ma’am, you could be arrested for kidnapping if you refuse to let her go.”
“Officer, let’s start over and re-phrase. This little girl is not a “run-away” but she was running from her drunken father. This little girl is traumatized by her father who dumped her in a park for almost two weeks. This little girl has been molested for God knows how long and neglected and malnourished. If anyone needs to be arrested, its that man!”
“Ok ma’am, I understand that you are worried. But I am going to need to sit down with you, and Annie, her father and a social worker. For now, I will need to pick her up and bring her home. If I see a threat in that when I bring her home, there is a local center for abused and neglected women and children and she will be safe there.”
“Officer, please, I have finally gotten her to talk. To trust, she is beginning to trust me. Let her stay with me until the meeting. I am begging you.”
"Im sorry Barbra, I understand that you may have some emotional ties with her becaue of the situation, but it is the law she come with me.
Barb felt the tears well up.
Annie stared at her, “What’s going on?” She wondered.
“Yes 547 Chester Wood Ln.” Barb said and she hung up the ohone.
She looked at Annie who by now had tears in her eyes. “Was that my daddy? Is he coming here? Please don’t make me go there, Please!!” She grabbed Barb’s leg and began to cry. Barb pulled her away and knelt down and pulled her into a hug.
“That was a police man, Annie, they have to come here and take you somewhere safe.”
“No don’t leave me!” Annie began to sob.
Barb whispered, “Im here, you’ll be back, Im gonna make everything better, but you can’t stay tonight. Let’s get your stuff in a suitcase sweety. I promise I will fight hard to bring you back here!”
The doorbell rang and Barb opened the door. “Hello Ma’am, I’m Officer Schwanke.”
“I know” Barb said. She was still holding Annie who was crying. “Are you sure this has to be this way right now?”
“Yes ma’am, I am sorry, it is the law.” The officer grabbed Annie’s suitcase and Barb followed him out to the squad car. She helped Annie into the car and gave her a kiss on the forehead. “Don’t you worry about a thing, I’m going to fix everything” Barb whispered.
She watched the squad car pull away and felt the tears well up. “This is not goodbye, baby, this is the beginning of a beautiful life, I promise!” She said as the car turned the corner. She went inside and got on the phone, she needed to find out everything she could about her rights and she wanted to see every possibility. She was not letting Annie go.
Barb stared out the front window as she wiped away the tears. Annie had been gone for only a few hours and Barb felt so completely alone. The last day and a half she had felt important and needed. She felt like something had just been torn from her chest now. “Why am I so connected to this little girl? I barely know her, but she has my heart.” She whispered to herself. She got up off the window seat and went to the phonebook. “I don’t even know where to start!” She said to herself.
She decided to start with the police again. Maybe they had gotten a hold of someone or she could at least know if Annie was safe. She dialed them and waited for an answer…
“Northern Hills Police, this is Harriet, how may I direct your call?”
“Hi Harriet, My name is Barbra Sullivan, I am looking for Officer Schwanke, is he in?”
“No ma’am I’m sorry he is not in, he is on street parole right now. Would you like his voicemail?”
“Yes please, that would be great!”
“One moment Ms. Sullivan”
“This is Officer Bill Schwanke, I am sorry I am not in my office right now, please leave me a message and it will page me so I can get back to you soon. Thanks.”
“Hi Officer Schwanke, this is Barbra Sullivan, please give me a call as soo as you get this, my number again is 719-8629. Thanks.”
Barb hung up the phone and sighed. She went into the kitchen to make herself some lunch.
Annie laid on the bed assigned to her in the shelter. She was wet and tired and sad. She had a long morning. First the police came and took her away from her “safe haven” , then he brought her home where she refused to go. When the policeman saw the trailer he grabbed Annie and put her back into the car. She could still see it in her mind……
“Come on Annie, This is your home” Bill said.
“NO! Im not going! You cant make me! I want Barb! Please!” Annie squealed.
The policeman grabbed her hand and practically drug her across the yard to the door. He knocked and nobody answered. Annie was wailing by this time, trying with all her might to get out of his hold.
“Hello? Mr. Lampert?” He knocked again. No answer. He opened the door and began to gag. The trailer was a disaster, dirty clothes, dishes, garbage everywhere. It had a sour smell to it like sweat and dirty skin. He saw Roger sleeping in the recliner. An empty bottle of whiskey next to him. Roger looked closer. It didn’t look like he was breathing.
“Annie step outside for a moment please.” Annie backed away.
He walked in tripping over empty bottles and cans and clothes. The smell was almost unbearable, Roger was in his underwear and a white undershirt.
“Roger?” Bill poked his shoulder. Nothing. He shook him a little more. Nothing. He looked again next to his empty bottle of whiskey and right there was an empty bottle of Vicadin.
“SHIT!” He shouted. He ran to the phone and dialed 911 and all Annie could hear was a bunch of squabbling. She looked back inside and saw the officer on the phone and her dad still sleeping. She shuddered at the sight of him and ran off to the cop car. Within minutes she watched Ambulances race in and out with her father on a stretcher. She closed her eyes, she did not want to know what was going on, she didn’t want to hurt.
Annie woke up in a bed that was not hers, in a place she did not know. She began to cry, when a younger woman in her mid 20’s rushed in.
“Hi Annie, Im Stephanie, I work here with children who have no parents. There are a few others as well. I will be your assigned house mother for the next few days.”
Annie buried her face in the pillow, she didn’t want to be here, she wanted to be with Barb.
“Annie, would you like to come meet the other children? Maybe have some lunch?”
Annie shook her head no. “I don’t want to be here!” She whimpered.
“I know you are confused but until we can find a foster home, you are assigned here. Annie can we talk right now?”
Annie shrugged. “Why can’t I be with Barb?”
“Sweety, that I do not know. I don’t know Barb. But I do know that you are under the county’s care now. Your father passed away this morning Annie.”
Annie looked up. “What?”
“Im sorry Honey.”
Annie didn’t know how to feel or what to say or think. She was completely blank. “Please go away” Annie whispered.
“Ok, Ill be in the other room if you need me.” Stephanie walked back out.
Annie sat there and just stared out the window.
Barb was finishing up her lunch when the phone rang.
“Ms. Sull- Barb?”
“Officer Schwanke here.”
“Where is she?” Barb snapped.
“She’s ok, she’s at the local women’s shelter for a few days. Then she will be moved to a center and available for foster care or adoption.”