Hey Everyone! I’ve come here many times and finally decided to post a story, its a little different but it was fun to write. Hopefully I’ll get the next part up soon. Not good at critiquing so feel free to tear it up. Sorry about the format if it seems off.
It’s been a year, wait…I think it’s been longer. A year and two months. Ya. That sounds about right. It feels like yesterday, it always has. At some point the days started to blend together, the weeks went next and before you know it I started losing months. Now it’s been over a year, and I’m still here. Still working the same job, still choking on the same smoke, and still not over her. I don’t mind though, don’t get the idea that I’m letting it run my life still but I do see it’s affects it has on me everyday. My thoughts, ideas, fears, and joys have changed but I’m still the same person. I lost something and I want it back, I think it’s making me insane. Not in a serious way of any sort, kind of like a mild Holden Caulfield type of slow decay.
Well, I guess that parts over now. I’m at that beautiful point in insanity where you can see anything and smile for no reason. I carry my own ball of light around with me. But even that isn’t bright enough to light up the sky underneath that cloud of the past. Atleast it stopped raining though.
This is the story of a boy and girl that fell in love one year told from the view of the person that made it crash and burn. I promise that this is an AB oriented story but I believe introductions are a must. I loved this women more than any other human being I have ever met and I learned a lot from her, I’ll try and keep it short but I already know I’ll get distracted in the memories being projected across the smokescreen in my room. I love that part of the night.
Here’s to you babe…
I woke up about five hours before work that day, it was the summer and it cost to much money to run the A/C so I simply put up with the heat. Shitty thing was I worked third shift and had just started working 12 hour days in the factory that I was employed at. The mixture of long hours and trying to sleep through the summer heat made rest impractical. I’d simply rest when I could and ignore the sun until it became impossible. As I blinked my eyes sleepily trying to focus I heard the familiar sound of some tv show in the playing in the room. Mandy was here.
Mandy was my girlfriend of a month…and my new room mate. Before you think that we were crazy (which we were) we had good reason for moving in to a place together so soon. We didn’t know each other all that well, I mean I had known her through a friend for about three years but we never talked very much. She was that punk rock girl with tattoos and piercing, nothing so ridiculous that she simply was trying to stick out. She simply lived the lifestyle. I started going to local shows when I was sixteen and by that time she had already been involved in the scene for some five years. She was 22 when we started dating and I was 20. I loved everything about her. It wasn’t like that in the beginning of course, to be honest she was a complete bitch when we first met. It used to make us laugh, she changed so much. From being a in your face reckless type of person that would get into bar fights to a calm, understanding, and loving woman.
One night I was smoking over at my friends house and playing video games when she stopped by with my best friend. I couldn’t stop looking at her all night. I’d take shy peeks at her afraid I’d freak her out or something but the times that she caught my gaze she simply smiled. It wasn’t an akward smile to be polite to somebody, it was her way of saying ‘its okay’ without speaking. I’ll never forget that smile.
Anyways, back to the story. She was living with her mother when we started dating, she’d drive over to my place during the week before we started going out and just hang out with me. Nobody does that anymore. We could do anything….I mean we usually just ended up on the couch like horny teenagers making out while some movie she had brought over played in the background. But atleast we took it slow. One night she came over and I could immediately tell she was pissed, not at me though. She would always make sure it was known what she was mad about. No beating around the bush.
Her step mom had kicked her out and she was going to have to live with her grandmother, problem was her grandmother was going to charge her rent and she also couldn’t stand the woman. I made the offer as a kind gesture that she could live with me until she had money to get her own place. It wasn’t because I was stark mad in love with her, I was her boyfriend and I cared about her. If it had been just a friend of mine in the same situation I would’ve offered the same thing. She declined at first worried we would be moving to fast but the next day she texted me asking if the offer was still open. When she started unpacking her things that night I remember hearing her hum, I don’t know what it was. But I listened, and I fell in love with sound again.
Back to the story…again. Sorry, I get sidetracked in the details. I sat up in my bed and looked across the living room to see Mandy taking a hit from her pipe. The sundress she had on, the flip flops pressed up against my coffee table made of milk crates and a piece of wood, her red hair blew lightly in the breeze coming in from the window, for a minute I thought I was in some retro sixties movie. I love times like that, the times where time doesn’t exist.
“Look who’s up.” She said, trails of smoke coming from her nostrils. She set the pipe down on the table before walking over to the bed and crawling under the blankets with me.
“Hey.” I gave her a tired smile before putting my arm around her and closing my eyes again, I don’t wake up very easy.
“Nope, I don’t think so,” her hands started to move up and down my stomache working there way across my chest repeating the pattern over and over, “I’ve let you sleep long enough, I want some attention before you leave me again for the night.” Her face moved in towards mine as she began nuzzling my cheeks. I felt my heart rate increase and my eyelids began to find strength. She was really good at waking me up.
“Mmm is that so?” I tried to be playful with her, its hard though when all you wannna do is kiss someones face.
“Just come here already.” I felt her hand grab my left butt cheek pulling my midsection into hers, I always slept naked. One of things she loved about me. She gave me one last smile before busying her lips with a much more rewarding task. I was always kind of akward when it came to being smooth, but she didn’t mind. She led and I followed, and that’s how she liked it. Her eyes told me when to speak and when not too, her body told me when to move and when to stay still.
“I think somebodys excited to see me.” She giggled a bit before winking, her hand reached down to my torso grasping what she knew was her. I gasped and pulled away slightly out of instinct, I was still getting used to being vulnerable. Her hand moved up to the small of my back bringing me back into her warm embrace.
“Just relax babe, I got you. I got you.” That was all I needed to hear, before long I began to lose track of every moment. I felt the present for what it really was. I don’t remember her clothes coming off to well, or any move that I tried to pull. I just remember being with her. After some time we finally came to our climax, we laid in that bed for about an hour or so. Every now and then I’d look down at her and sneak a peck on her head. She’d blush and reach up kissing me before burying her face into my chest. She was always stronger than me, but sometimes it was like she was the little one. Maybe that’s why she liked me, I let her be herself.
Before long we became restless and she got up to get something to drink, my eyes couldn’t help but follow that body. Her naked porcelin skin gleamed a bit in the darkness of the bedroom. She did a little strut before looking over her shoulder at me and then smacking her bottom and making and laughable O’ face. I burst out in laughter and pulled her back into the bed with me. We laid back and stared at the ceiling, I held her while she played with my hair. She knew how to set me up.
“Hmm?” It was barely audible, I was close to dozing off again.
“Can we talk about something?”
My blood went cold and my body stiffened a bit, I’m not sure if it was enough for her to notice but I’m sure she did. I knew what she was talking about. She had brought it up the other day and I had snaked my way out of talking about it last time. Mandy had known about my little side before we started dating. The last girlfriend I had didn’t find out until after a year and it destroyed us. I didn’t wanna make that mistake with Amanda so one night when we were talking on the phone I spilled the beans. No idea how I did it, sometimes you just open up to people…I’m sure alcohol had a lot to do with it as well though. She had said something about how everybody had secrets and I shouldn’t worry about it. It wasn’t brought up again until the other day, a day similar to this one. Though I know she would never use sex against me, I’m sure she was using it to loosen me up. She wanted me to trust her.
“Sure. Shoot.” I tried to keep it simple, act cool.
She was quiet for a few seconds before looking up at me, her hand began to stroke my face making me look down at her. She smiled and then stuck her tounge out at me making me smile back. “Stop acting silly hun, I just wanna talk about it, k?” She gave me that same reassuring look again, a warm smile mixed with even warmer looking green eyes. I was putty in her hands.
“O-Okay.” I managed to stutter out.
Her right arm began to stroke mine, moving up and down until it found my shaking hand. It wasn’t because of the situation that I was shaking. Really, it wasn’t. I always shake, I don’t know why. She gently took it in her hand, her thumb began to stroke mine as she pointed it outwards from my other fingers. She pressed the other digits into a light fist before lifting it up to my mouth. My thumb came into contact with my lips as I looked down at her breast. I wasn’t trying to be a perv, I just knew if I looked up at her eyes I’d cave. And that’s exactly what I did. Her eyes were the same as usual, love, reassuring. She knew what I wanted and as I stared into those irises I got the sense of an expecting mother. She knew what her child needed and she was going to make sure he got it. I gave up and let my lips wrap themselves around my thumb. Before I knew it my face was laying on her chest and she was the one holding me.
“See, isn’t that better?” I nodded lightly.
I could feel the tips of her fingers drawing tiny shapes into the back of my scalp, I wondered what they were.
“So where should we start, hmm?” She wasn’t really asking me, she was talking out loud like any mother would do when with her child. Its comforting in the oddest way.
“I know, how about you tell me how old you are. Think you can do that for me baby?” I laid there sucking my thumb trying to find the words to speak. I knew this day would come, I knew someday I’d have to finally speak in person to her about this. I was grateful it was with her, she was smooth about it in a way I could never be. I found the courage to finally talk.
“I’m3 years old.” I spoke quietly.
“3! My you are turning into a big boy arent you? Not to big of a boy for hugs from mommy though I bet.” She began to give me a bear hug, well what she could do for a bear hug. She was quite smaller than me, but at that moment it felt the other way around. She was hamming up her role, and I was loving it.
She kissed the top of my head before her hand returned and began its soothing pattern again. She hummed lightly, it was like last time only now it was softer. Like she didn’t want anyone but me to ever hear it. I felt her face press against my skin, her nose nuzzling mine. We both opened our eyes at the same time, for some reason I giggled. I don’t even know why. She smiled and stroked my cheek staring into my eyes. This time she was the one that couldn’t look away.
“You know I love you right? I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone else. Half the time I’m to scared to say that word but this time I couldn’t wait. I remember the first time you said it to me I didn’t know what to think. I thought you were playing me or something but,” her eyes wandered for a second, “you really do. And I love you more than you will ever know babe.”
I tried to say I love you too but all that came out was something that sounded pathetically like followed by a whimper and me burying my face in her shoulder. What can I say, I can be kind of girly sometimes. I couldn’t see her face, but I really think she was happy. She just held me and rocked back and forth as she hummed. I was beginning to daze off again.
“Nope not yet, we’re not done.” I don’t know how but she always knew when I was sleepy. “You can nap after this sweetheart but I want you to do something for me first.” There was a moment of silence. “Go in your room and put on your diapers.” I just laid there, frozen again not able to comprehend what she said.
“Babe I know its jumping the gun but we’re never going to get anywhere if we don’t take some action. I know how much not being little bothers you. I’ve read about binges and purges honey and its affecting you every day. I’m not comfortable with the diaper change thing yet, but I wanna see my little guy for what he is.” My body shook, she held me close and kissed my face all over trying to get me to smile. “Go do it baby, do it for me.” That’s all it took for her trance to take affect, a few minutes later I found myself walking into the living room wearing two pharmacy style diapers. I was hoping she wasn’t going to look, that she’d let me just get under the blankets. I was wrong.
“Awww, come here my little boy. Come to me.” I shyly walked to her, I felt like a deer in the headlights. Her face wasn’t filled with fake over zealous joy, it was like a pure ball of warmth and light. It was a warm smile that made cuddle up to her as she repeatedly kissed my forhead, Her hand rubbing and patting my bottom. “See, don’t you feel better being yourself.”
I understood then, she wouldn’t judge me. Even if what I told her disgusted her she wouldn’t leave me for it. She’d help me through it, no matter what. I suddenly felt the urge to tell her everything, my mouth moved a hundred miles a hours as I tried to get out information around stuttering. She let out a laugh and brought me to her breast burying my face into them.
“Hush now baby.” She let out another laugh, it was gentle. “Be a good boy and let the boobies work there magic.” I heard this and looked up to see her sticking her tounge out at me again, she was having fun.
“Do you like being my baby Kota, do you?” I nodded my eyes resting, my new pillow making sleep impossible to fight.
“I know you do little one,” she kissed my head again before laying hers against mine as she relaxed herself, “can I be your Mommy Dakota?”
I picked my face up off of her chest. She couldn’t be serious…this doesn’t happen. Things like this just don’t happen. Not to guys like me. She noticed my confusion immediately.
“Baby, I’ll say it again, ‘this doesn’t bother me’, I love this side of you. I want to get to know it more and I want to be that person you call mommy. I know it’s what you want honey so please, let me take care of you.” She brushed the bangs out of my face with her last words, I was speachless. I didn’t want to screw this up.
“Well? Does my baby need a little more convincing?” I saw a devilish grin spread across her face. I suddenly felt her hand press against the back of my head. It was gentle but firm, it had a mission.
“Come to mommy cutie pie.” Suddenly I felt it, she was so smooth and fast it happened naturally. I felt the flesh of her breast press against my check, the nipple immediately followed along with my lips latching onto it. She pressed my head closer into her form, our bodies wrapped around each other as I nursed on her like a starving toddler.
“Mmm, I knew my baby would like this. Baby loves being close to his Mommy, doesn’t he?” That devilish smile looked down at me as I stared up at her lost in a daze, my mouth sucking for pure desire. I suddenly felt her hand on my diapered crotch. I gasped and sucked harder on her nipple, I let out small whimpers as my whole body quivered in her grasp. I could feel the smoothness of her legs press against my inner thighs. I think that’s what I loved most, closeness.
“Show Mommy how much of a baby you are Dakota, Mommy wants you to go pee-pee. Show Mommy how you use your diaper. Show Mommy why you need your diapers. Show Mommy why you need her.” Her words rolled off her tounge like silk, but even her voice began to shake from pleasure. She had moved her hand to the back of my diapered bottom stroking it and occasionally giving it a few playfull smacks all the while pressing her naked mound into my padded front. Her breathing matched mine as we both began moaning lost in the pleasure.
“Come on baby, I know you can. Cum for Mommy, Cum for Mommy Mandy right now.” With that request I lost it, I began grinding into her unable to control myself. My eyes began to space out, I would whimper and she would simply stare at me and make shushing noises letting me it was okay to let go. My back arched as my body shook like it was going to fall apart, every muscle tightened and relaxed atleast twenty times in that short moment of release. I had used my diaper, not in the way she had requested but I don’t think she minded. My breathing began to slow as I laid my head on her chest.
I lifted my eyes to look at her but her gaze was not what met mine. Instead I saw her biting her lip her eyes clamped close in concentration. She grabbed the back of my head by my hair pressing my face into her breast again, as my face found its way down there once more I caught a glimpse of her hand working its own magic. I smiled and tirelessly sucked at her nipples. I could feel the pressure building inside of her as she rubbed back and forth. All the while not letting me out of her grasp. She needed me.
I lifted my head from her chest and gazed up at her with the cutest spaced out toddler look I could. “Mandy will you be my Mommy?”
Amanda’s eyes shot open hearing my words, her breathing increased as her hand worked faster. “Yes baby, will you be a good boy for Mommy?”
I smiled and hid my face away in her breast nuzzled them with cheeks, I could feel her nipples stiffening again. “I’ll try Mommy…but you might have to help me sometimes.” I smiled for maybe a second before moaning again myself feeling her hand make its way into the back of my diaper grasping my bottom firmly.
“I think I can do that little one.” with that said I went back to her breast suckling. She continued until she had finished. Her ending was like mine, more powerful than we had thought possible. She held me like that until I went to work that night. The whole while she kept kissing my forehead and patting my bottom whispering words of comfort to me.
This was only the beginning.