The status of @Penguin and the forums

Note: This post may seem slightly incoherent and I apologize for that. I found it difficult to balance your need to know what is happening with @Penguin with the need to protect her privacy.

tl;dr version: Mom got so stressed her brain shorted out and she’s currently in the hospital being carefully monitored leaving everything in a right fucked up mess.

So those in the chat know how the this started, sort of. They know what finally triggered the situation, but not the whole situation, and unfortunately there’s a lot of stuff I can’t discuss even though I would dearly love to.

Mom has been stressed for weeks about some personal stuff going on in our household including a weird situation regarding our utility bills. Namely, the fact that the trustee for my finances due to my conservatorship (this is a really messed up situation in general) has a set budget each month for them, and can’t deviate from it if our utilities are more than the budget the court has created allows for.

Well, we were supposed to be moving into a smaller house because my brain isn’t exactly not-broken and I’ve been having issues with living in the current house. The new place needed some work done on it and it was supposed to be done in July but there were complications so we ended up in a situation that is messed up utility-wise.

On the 10th mom got the current electric bill for the house we’re living in, which is $304. However, due to the fact we’re supposed to already be in the new house the utility alotment was lowered and there wasn’t enough to cover that bill. As in after paying te other bills, there was $4 to pay that $304 electric bill. See the problem? No, of course, because what you guys don’t know is that due to a huge fuck up with the electric company awhile back the bill for this house is on an extended payment arrangement meaning she couldn’t request an extension of the payment date even the few days to when we could pay it.

Mom… broke. That scream she let out is something i won’t forget anytime soon. When I got to her office she was on the floor curled up in a really tight ball and wouldn’t respond. I called 911, and short version of that is that after multiple attempts to uncurl her body they had to transport her to the hospital still curled up in a ball.

They admitted her to the ICU where a neurologist evaluated her and while he said she was likely to recover it would be awhile. They applied electroshock therapy to her in an attempt to unscramble her brain because she was curled up in that ball because her brain was sending the wrong signals to the wrong places. The therapy did cause her to uncurl, but things are still really scrambled even now.

Currently she is unable to communicate at all. To give you an idea of what the problem is, basically her brain had a kernel panic that corrupted the drivers for her other hardware.

She is very slowly recovering, but right now they can’t even give me an estimate of when or even if she’ll fully recover.

So that brings me to the situation with the forums.

As you’ve probably noticed, I am now an admin. Mom and I had discussed the possibility due to her various health issues, and against my better judgement I did what she wanted. Unfortunately, we never discussed the possibility that she’d be unable to communicate, only not physically able to do the work herself.

First off, let me say that financially, the forums are fine. Between the Patreon and PayPal donations the monthly income is enough to cover the operating costs and I do have access to the hosting account to make sure the bill is paid.

The bigger issue is on the moderation and administration front. I already hinted at this in the previous message, but I want to spell this out explicitly now for everyone: If you have a moderation issue, you must contact the @moderators group to get it dealt with, whether you send them a PM or flag the post. Do not attempt to PM mom or myself. You’ll only get a response from me telling you to contact the moderators.

If, you have an issue that can only be handled by an admin, such as issues with your Donor Lounge access, then contact me and I’ll get it straightened out as quickly as I can, which should go much faster now that I finally have access to all the accounts properly.

If you disagree with a moderation decision, you can contact me, but be warned that I am really unlikely to override a moderator action unless it’s one I know mom would override. To be absolutely clear, I will not deal with any moderation issues personally unless it is strictly necessary. It’s not my place and honestly I don’t even want to be an admin but I don’t have much choice on the matter.

Since a few people will ask about this, yes, this affects my conservatorship as currently the two people who can make decisions for me are also the ones with mom’s durable power of attorney. So… yeah, it’s a fucked up mess to put it mildly because I’m in this really weird situation where I’m responsible for a lot of things I’m not supposed to be, but those who should be responsible really can’t be because mom would never trust them with access to the servers.

As for the missing Patreon posts that some have asked me about: It’s actually my fault they haven’t been posted and I’ll be trying to get that fixed as soon as possible, but it’s going to take time.

And a final note: Be warned that if you do manage to do something so epicly stupid that mods have to defer to me, you will find that while I’ll try to handle how mom would I am way less tolerant of your bullshit than mom or even @ClawdiaWolf would have been. Unlike them, I have no issues banning repeat offenders.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask them, but be aware that to protect mom’s privacy I may not be able to answer all of them.

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This is an awful situation so many thanks to Danni for the work she’s doing to keep the forums running, and big hugs and best wishes to Penguin and her recovery.


What BabyAnna said. I hope things improve for everyone- wishing Penguin the best in her recovery, and much appreciation to Danni for all her work, and thanks to the mods too.


I just got an update from the hospital. Mom is semi-able answer yes or no questions by blinking now. It’s still very iffy because she blinks at completely random times as well, but it’s still an improvement. :slight_smile:


Thank you for the update. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for more good news.

I’m confident that the site is in good hands. If there’s anything I can do please by all means…… we have some great moderators and the site remains in good hands . Most of all I wish Penguin the best of luck and a speedy recovery.

I wish you two could catch a break! Thank you for doing what you can for the forum, and thankfully there are moderators that can handle day to day stuff so you do not have to. Here is to hoping for a speedy recovery with Penquin.

Also please take care of yourself. Life outside the forum should take priority and any impatient ones can learn some patience.

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I don’t know her personally, but I wish both of you the best. It’s sad seeing something so terrible happen to such wonderful people. I’ve never been in a situation like that before (thankfully), but I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

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Update on mom’s status.

They recently started using a bit of an unusual treatment that she seems to be responding to fairly well. They began using for a form of electroshock therapy on her. They ask her to move a specific body part and when the wrong one moves, they apply a mild shock to the correct one.

She still can’t talk, but she has limited use of her hands and arms now. Enough that she can very slowly type simple responses to questions on a computer keyboard.

The doctors are pretty sure she’s going to make a full recovery at this point but we’re not even to a point where they can start doing rehab with her, and her arms are pretty weak, which is why she can only type simple answers. The good news is though that it does confirm that at least the parts of the brain responsible for speech recognition are working.

This is good to hear.

Wishing her the best.

I’m sending hugs and happy wishes from north of the wall.

And a teddybear made of snow? A snowbear?

Teasing aside thank you Danni for the update, glad to hear she’s doing well and sending well wishes. And much appreciation to Danni and the mods for holding down the fort.

Glad to hear she is doing better. I will be sending her many prayers and well wishes.

I so sorry to hear that she is going through ECT for her treatment but I sincerely hope that it helps. It is not easy to watch and I hope that you don’t have to do so. That being said, I wish her a safe and full recovery.