So here’s another attempt for me to stretch my writing wings and find different things out. Another dark one :? I hope you all enjoy it. Please feel free to give me any writing tips, as I’m sure there’s a ton of things I can do better. Enjoy!
The Woman In The Window
By: Clifton D. Singlebrook
In the darkness I watched her. I saw her for what an amazing person she was, though she had her flaws. I admired the way she sat at her dresser mirror and brushed her brunette locks and apply her moisturizer to her olive skin before going to bed. I watched her shut off her light and crawl into bed, ending our dance for the evening. I hoisted myself from the shrubs outside her window and walked home with only the stars to light my way.
I continued to watch her through her bedroom window every night for two weeks, drinking in the very sight of her. It’s a beautiful thing to watch someone who doesn’t know they’re being watched. You see them at their most pure and uninhibited. These nightly peeks into Carmen’s life were where I learned of her secret life.
The first time I saw Carmen put a diaper on I felt a kind of animalistic lust for her that I didn’t know was even possible. The sultry way she wiggled her hips in front of the mirror, her padded backside taunting me to come in and swat it with my hand. The alluring way she rubbed the front of the diaper as she squatted down on the bedroom floor to wet herself. I witnessed all of this, and could think of nothing else for days.
My first “encounter” with Carmen was staged. I’d been following her for several weeks, noting her patterns and habits, and had finally chosen the perfect meeting place for us. It was a random Wednesday afternoon, she had just gotten done with her sculpting class and stopped at the market on the way home for her usual energy drink and candy bar. I pretended to bump into her as she came around the corner onto the drink aisle. She apologized as we both bent down to pick up my items that had fallen to the ground when we’d collided. I laughed the whole incident off as she handed me the package of adult diapers nervously.
As I looked into her eyes and she looked into mine, I felt a spark between us. Though she had never seen me before, I knew that she felt the same thing I did. It was in this moment of unspoken love that I knew she was the perfect woman for me.
I started calling Carmen a month after our first meeting. I never mustered the courage to say anything to her of course, but deep down, I think she knew it was me. After hanging up the phone one night I planned our next meeting. Several days later, I ran into her at the bank. I admired her shapely backside from the end of the line as she sauntered up to the teller window. I wondered if she was wearing a diaper at that very moment, teasing me with a thin layer of denim to keep me from knowing her secret.
I smiled at her as she walked by me in the line, relishing the look of recognition in her eyes as she noticed me and smiled back. I followed her home that afternoon, and watched her sit alone and eat her dinner, clearly yearning for me to be there with her.
I staged our third meeting by slashing her tires while she was at work. I came into the restaurant where she was working and sat down in her section. I watched her the whole night as she talked with her customers and laughed with her coworkers. Then she came and told me she was getting off work soon, and that another waitress would be taking care of me. As she walked away smiling I couldn’t help but marvel at her craftiness in the way she planned to coax me into asking her out.
I left the restaurant and waited outside while she gathered her things and punched out for the night. I watched her leave and walk to her car, groaning in frustration when she saw what I’d done to her tires. I saw her pull out her phone, and started my car and drove toward her. I rolled down my window when I got close to her and smiled politely as I asked if she needed any help. Ever the cunning strategist she merely smiled and thanked me, but declined my offer. God I love it when women play hard to get.
My desire to be with her fueled me to become more bold with my passes at her. I left my fist package for her on her doorstep on the anniversary of our first meeting. I’d gotten her a babying package fit for a queen. A package of Molicare’s in her size, a new pacifier with Dora the Explorer on it and an enlarged teet, a Winnie the Pooh baby bottle also with an enlarged teet, and a pink adult onsie that read “Daddy’s Girl” in glitter. I remember how nervous I was as I watched her retrieve the package from the doorstep, looking around for any signs of the messenger. Then my heart melted as I watched her open the parcel with a smile for every item.
The look on her face when she read my note, “Longing to be with you. With love from all my heart, D.” confused me to say the least. What I’d hoped to be a look of joy turned out to be one of fear and angst, not at all what I was wanting her to experience. I left her house that night after she peeked outside and shut her blinds, leaving me out in the cold after I’d opened my heart to her.
Not the type to easily give up, I formulated my final plan. I came up with a brilliant way for the two of us to be together finally as a daddy and baby should be. I waited for her to leave for work that morning, and quickly broke into her house through the back door. I waited in her closet patiently for her to come home so I could surprise her. I smiled to myself in the darkness of the closet as I imagined how overjoyed she would be to see me.
Hours passed, and I began to fall asleep within the cramped confines of the closet. I nodded off for a short time, and was awoken by the sounds of Carmen entering her house. Peering out of the closet through the small crack of the slightly opened door, I watched my beloved enter her room and kick off her shoes before flopping down onto her bed with a heavy sigh. In the moments that followed I felt my legs force me to stand up and my arms force me to push the door open slowly.
I stepped out of the closet and smiled as I breathed in the fresh scent of her perfume, providing much needed relief from the stale air of the closet. I smiled at her as I approached the bed slowly, struggling to find the perfect words for our first date. “Rough day?” I finally managed to ask.
Carmen shot up from the bed and backed herself against the wall. “Who the hell are you and how did you get in my house?!” she shouted at me.
My smile quickly faded when I heard her words. “Now Carmen, is that any way to talk to your daddy?” I asked her as I took a few steps toward her.
Carmen looked around for a way to get past me, probably so she could get away from the spanking I was planning on giving her for her foul language. As I neared her she quickly grabbed a hand mirror from the dresser and swung it at me before I could react. The mirror struck me in the side of the head and sent me tumbling onto the bed. I watched Carmen run from the room, leaving me bleeding on the bed. I managed to get to my feet and shake off my dizziness as I left the bedroom to pursue my naughty little girl.
I heard her rummaging in the kitchen and staggered my way there, finding her fishing in a drawer and producing a large knife which she held out in front of her with shaky hands.
“Stay the fuck away from me!” she screamed at me as she backed against the wall of the kitchen.
“That is enough of that language young lady.” I said with a raised tone to let her know I was serious.
She thrust the knife toward me threateningly. “Look, you’re not my daddy. I don’t know you. If you don’t get out of my house I’m gonna kill you.” she said angrily.
I took a step toward her with my hand out to try and calm her down, and got a knife through my hand. I clutched my bleeding appendage and backed away from her with a hurt look in my eyes. “I don’t understand, I thought you loved me.” I said, my confusion causing me more pain than my physical injury.
Carmen lunged at me, an animal growl emanating from deep within her throat, and thrust her knife into my side. We fell backward together onto the kitchen floor, her knife scraping against my ribs as her weight fell completely on me.
All I could do was look up at her as she picked up her phone and dialed 911. I felt hot tears fall from my eyes as my world slipped away. The woman I loved had rejected me, she’d literally cut me to the bone, and now she was forcing me out of her life as quickly as she could.
“I love you Carmen.” I said as I held my bleeding hand and the knife in my side.
Carmen lowered the phone from her ear and looked down at me. “How can you love me? You don’t even know me.” she said.
I smiled at her as my vision began to blur. “I know that you hate to be cold. I know that you love to watch foreign films. I know that when you put on a diaper you can’t wait more than a few minutes before you wet it and please yourself, and I know that you’re the sweetest person in my life.” I told her.
That night I died on Carmen’s kitchen floor before the police and paramedics could get there. I died with a smile on my face despite my physical pain. The last thing I saw was the look of remorse on Carmen’s face when I told her my feelings, it was in that moment that I knew I had changed her life by letting her know that she was truly loved for who she was.
I came home from the police station that night and left all the lights turned on. I grabbed a bottle of wine and poured myself a glass before I headed back to my bedroom. I set the glass of wine down on my dresser and went to the top drawer. I smiled as I looked at the package of diapers and the onsie that D had given me. I grabbed the items up and set them on the bed as I stripped my clothes off. I cried as I stood in front of the mirror dressed in the onsie with one of the diapers on underneath.
The first man that had ever truly loved and understood me turned out to be insane, and I’d killed him to defend myself from him. I lay on the bed and curled up as tight as I could, rocking myself gently as I thought that things might have turned out differently if I’d been able to get D the help he needed. I cried myself to sleep that night, wondering if I’d ever find a person that knew me as well as he had.