Venus Solutions (A Cloud 9 Story)

Hello again everyone. So my old ussrname was dclausma but im not able to access that old profile plus it wasnt very discreet for a name. So i have a new story idea and i thought id post a small sample to feel the waters and get suggestions. Like I said it is only an idea at the moment so its very short and rough but let me know what you think and maybe ill write a full story to go with it. Oh and i apologize for the lack of detail and description, like i said this is just a sample.

The Commercial
The commercial begins showing a brightly lit, pastel colored nursery. All over are babyish designs of animals, fairies, and other childish things. At the far end of the room is a wooden oversized crib that could easily fit an adult and leave plenty of room for them to roll around while they sleep. A light pink throw blanket that matches the Disney Princess comforter is draped over the railing as the mobile spins above it. This large piece of furniture along with other things such as a changing table, toy box, stuffed animals, and a bouncer indicates that whoever occupies this room is very loved and well looked after.

A soft light hearted melody begins to play and we see in the middle of the room, sitting ontop of an alphabet foam play mat trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, a young woman of about 22. Her tan exposed skin contrasting with the thick stark white diaper wrapped around her bottom. Her long brunette hair trails down her back almost to her padded rump, her legs splayed showing off her new underwear for the world to see. Shes concentrating so hard on her task that she hasnt even noticed the trail of drool running down her chin from her binkey filled mouth. She also had no idea just how wet she was.

As the camera zooms in on the girl a look of sudden shock and confusion spreads across her face. In that moment a part of her old self struggles to figure out whats going on. She looks down and for the first time realizes that shes sitting naked in nothing but her Huggies in a large nursery playing with a childs toy. She can feel a warming sensation tickling her crotch once again and her body goes stiff knowing that shes having an accident like a pre potty trained toddler. She wants to scream, she wants to rip off the ridiculous garment and make a run for it but the virus and daily conditioning seemed to powerful. She could feel her adult mind beginning to slip again. She begins to panic at the thought amd acts on her first instinct. Within seconds her face is drenched in a river of tears, her pacifier falling from her mouth to the soft floor below her. Thats when a door can be heard Opening accompanied by footsteps coming towards her.

“Oh Honey, whats wrong?” A voice coos down to her as a woman kneels in front of her pulling the crying girl into her arms. She knew the voice and instantly clung to the older woman for dear life burying her face into the womans shoulder. Mommy was here to save her.

The camera pulls back as the girls cries begin to to turn into light sobbing as her mommy holds her and runs her hand up and down her daughters back. As she consoles the poor baby the camera zooms closer to her face.

“Like thousands of other young adults across this country my daughter caught the ABVirus a few months ago. No cure, no hope, I watched as her mind began to deteriorate more and more each day. I had almost given up but thats when I discovered Venus Solutions.”

The woman places her hand under her daughters bottom lifting her up and planting her on her hip as she carries her baby towards the kitchen. The camera follows her as the woman sets her child on the countertop while she goes to the refridgerator for a bottle ofmilk. As she opens the refridgerator she looks at the camera from behind the door.

“I started Venuse’s therapy program about a month ago hoping that it would atleast buy me more time. It has done far more than that as you can see.”

The mother smiles and the camera pans to the left showing a very happy and eager girl excited seeing the glass container of nourishment. The mother smiles at her daughter and brings the nipple to her eager lips. The girl auickly latches on and hungrily sucks away at her bottle. Her mother looks at her daughter with a look filled with maternal love, stroking her hair.

“"The people at Venus explained that although there was no cure there was a way to keep my daughter from completely losing her mind.” She looks to the camera, “They call it Age Regression Therapy.”

We once again see the two of them walking back to the nursery where a large oversized rocking chair waits. The woman sits down and supports her daughters head with her arm as the other holds the bottle while the young woman lays across her lap nursing.

“As many of you know the ABVirus attacks the mental and emotional state of a person, it quickly spreads through the brain causing confusion, manic depression, dementia, and eventually complete and total mental shutdown. The victim is left being nothing more than a zombie. Its a horrifying thing to watch happen to the ones you love. Daisy ’s mental state was deteriorating fast and so i acted on the only option I had.”

“Age Regression Therapy is a radical new treatment that uses the virus’s tactics against itself. As you may already know stress acts as a catalyst to the disease causing it to spread faster. Age Regression works by slowly taking away stress from the individual by a caregiver taking over certain aspects of there life and responsibilities which lowers stress making it harder for the virus to evolve.”

The girl begins to drift into a dreamy tired state, her eyes drooping as her sucking begins to slow. Her mother removes the bottle and replaces it with a pink pacifier. Her hand moves down towards the girls midsection grazing her thigh before poking two fingers into the leg band of her babies diaper.

“Just as i thought.” she says smiling and carries the girl to the living room floor laying her down on the rug. She begins to take out the girls changing supplies from the basket next to the coffee table containing powder, wipes, lotion, a changing mat, and most importantly very thick overnight diapers.

She slides the changing pad underneath the young woman and unfolds one of the diapers. “Daisy has always been a heavy wetter and thats why i choose Huggies Supreme.” Daisy began to stir slightly as she felt her mother rub the lotion on her legs and cover her with baby powder. As soon as the scent reaches her nostrils she is filled with a feeling of euphoria which is only heightened by the feeling of her bum resting on the soft cotton garment beneath her.

“Huggies Supreme are the only diapers I trust to keep my little one dry and comfy.” Her mother says as she brings the diaper up between her daughters legs taping it snugly in place. “Plus they look adorable on her.” she says smiling as she gives her daughters diapered bottom a loving pat as she picks her up and carries her off to her nursery.

As the two woman leave the room the camera moves in to focus on the red and white package of Huggies diapers sitting on the floor. The plastic has a picture of a college age woman on her hands and knees crawling, her poofy diapered bottom decorated in cute babyish designs. Suddenly a soothing womans voice can be heard.

“Huggies Supreme are the only diapers designed specifically for the big baby in your life and the official diaper of Venus Solutions.”

A different voice comes on before the advertisement ends. “This public service announcement has been brought to you by Huggies and Venus Solutions International.”

Re: Venus Solutions (A Cloud 9 Story)

I suppose it’s an OK jumping-off point, but there are a few things you might want to remember. (Mostly grammatical or orthographic errors.)

  • There is supposed to be an apostrophe in she’s, that’s, what’s and other words where you’ve made contractions.
  • Watch your capital letters. First person singular is a capital I, other words in the middle of sentences are not capitalised (unless they’re proper names).
  • A couple of places, you’ve also mixed the present tense with the past tense. This is rarely a good idea.
  • Also, you have quite a few typos or missing spaces between words. It’s an easy thing to avoid and it makes you seem less competent as a writer than you might actually be.

On a positive note, your sentences aren’t overly long, the text itself is coherent and you’ve avoided using things like the passive voice excessively. The idea of the diapers being part of a preventative treatment instead of just the result of some mysterious disease is also a twist we don’t see quite so often. Like I said before, this could become interesting (although it’s a little hard to tell from such a short text.)

This is a grand story considering the OTHER VIRUS that is GUMMING up this world and killing people. this is a very nice way to in a sense make fun of it. PLEASE if possible keep it going.
BTW there is a story on WATTPAD that is kinda similar to this that you may want to look up.i think its called THE VIRUS.

Please don’t type RANDOM WORDS in all caps. It fucks with screen readers and causes accessibility issues for some members.

Please emphasize words using italics or bold instead.

(Also, the random caps make you look like a spaz)

understood

just be careful with formatting

but i love the idea of the story i think it will be great if you continue and make it regular i would love that

Jackchef!