What Mommy Says Goes (Updated with Chapter 2)

Hey Everyone,
The name is Buddy and I recently got into writing ABDL stories. I wanted to start sharing them with the community. Let me know what you think.

Chapter 1: Mommy’s Brat

It was late Tuesday night and Nathan was waiting patiently for Mommy to come put him to bed. Nathan was a little and usually regressed anywhere from 2-5, mostly on the lower side of that scale. He was 27 years old about 5’7ft, he is clean shaven with big beautiful brown eyes and short brown hair. His body type was more on the athletic side enough that he could catch a glance from any girl, That was until they noticed his Mommy checking his diaper.

Nathan was a little bit of a brat when he wanted Mommy’s attention and this time was no different. Behind his light blue paci a devilish grin appeared on his cheeky little face. Sat on the bed in his Lil’ Monsters Onesie with his dark blue shortalls over it he gently sucked on his paci when an idea popped into his head. Hopping off of his bed he removed his shortalls and removed the tapes on his soaked diaper. Rolling up his soggy padding he slowly tip toed over to Mommy’s dresser. In the dresser he found one of his last remaining pairs of big boy underwear, he was only allowed to wear these on special big boy occasions.

Grabbing the pair of Pikachu boxers he set them on the bed so he could clean himself up. Not only is he not allowed to wear big boy undies with out permission , he is also not allowed to remove his diaper on his own. After wiping himself clean he began to slide the boxers on. Once he had them on he replaced his cute shortalls and strapped them up. Placing the diaper in the trash he returned to the bed playfully kicking his feet and sucking on his paci.

Lexi shut off the shower her slender long legs stepping out, she began drying herself. Wrapping the towel around her petite body. Reaching for a hair brush she started working on her hair, she ran the brush through her long wavy brown hair taking a moment to admire herself in the mirror. She admired her perky A cup breasts, turning to the side a little to look at her toned bottom. Once she was nice and dry she bent down and slowly slipped on her black bikini style bottoms before sliding on her sexy black robe.

Heading down the hall to the bedroom she reached the door and entered their bedroom “Hey Baby! Have you been a good little boy while Mommy was in the bath?” she asked softly. Nathan’s cheeks turned a deep shade of red as they always do when he sees Mommy in her robe. “Yes Mommy!” he said not even trying to hide his cheeky little grin. Lexi walked over to the bed and playfully ruffled Nathan’s hair. “Can you lay down for Mommy so she can change you bum before bed sweetie?” she said as she leaned in gently laying her baby back, this caused her robe to open slightly revealing her cleavage slightly.

Laying back with Mommy’s assistance he let out a little giggle thinking his plan was working, little did he realize Mommy’s always know when their little’s are up to something cheeky. One look at Nathan and she could tell something was missing under his shortalls. Gently removing the straps she slowly started sliding the shortalls off of him. Once she noticed the waist band of his boxers she looked at him with stern eyes. “My my my little one, what do we have here? You know your not supposed to be wearing these without Mommy’s permission. What happened to your diaper Baby Boy?”

“Um…um Mommy it disappeared I don’t know what happened.” he said with a cheeky giggle “But look Mommy see I’m a big boy, I’m dry and everything see!”. Mommy looked at him sternly again “Oh? So you think your a big boy now? I don’t think so little one why don’t you let Mommy get you in a nice bedtime diaper?” she said in a stern Mommy tone. Nathan was loving every second of this interaction, little did he know Mommy had other plans . “No! Mommy I’m a big boy and big boys don’t need diapers.” Nathan replied with sass.

Lexi knew exactly what Nathan was up to, this was something he did when ever he felt deprived of attention so she already had a plan in mind. “ Oh is that so little one? Do big boys still wet their beds every night?” She asked very Matter of fact tone. “I don’t do that Mommy! You just watch I could keep these dry all night cause that’s what big boys do! Besides Mommy your the silly baby who still wears diapers.”. Lexi let out a soft chuckle and shook her head “Oh you silly baby your so confident so why don’t you make a little bet with Mommy?”. The cheeky grin now bigger than ever on Nathan’s face “Okay Mommy your on!” he replied.

Patting Nathan’s head she laughed again. “There is no taking that back little boy so be sure your listening to Mommy. You will wear your big boy undies to bed tonight since your such a big boy and since you say Mommy is such a baby you can diaper me tonight. However when you wake up wet in the morning and Mommy wakes up dry you will do exactly what Mommy says all day tomorrow. Now on the off chance you do wake up dry and Mommy wakes up wet it will be Mommy who has to listen all day. Do I make myself clear?”. Nathan’s face was bright red he had got away with it or so he thought “Yes Mommy!” He said showing off his cheeky grin.

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A couple of grammar opportunities (e.g. a comma before her slender legs take her out of the shower) but generally your written English is good. Properly structured sentences, sensible sized paragraphs.

Where the structure needs a tweak is the speech. Separate each speaker into a new paragraph and look up the conventions on punctuation inside and outside of the quotes. As an example:

So here you end spoken word with a full stop and the double quotes, which is good, then add an unncessary full stop. Instead start a new paragraph.

After Lexi shakes her head you could add a comma or a full stop, but it needs one of those. Again, her speech ends with a question mark, quotes, full stop; that final full stop is extraneous.

(Incidentally, both of those uses of “your” should be “you’re”)

On this one the full stop inside the quotes should be a comma if you’re following traditional punctuation.

So nothing major, just tiny changes that’ll help with readability by separating out the speakers and avoiding punctuation that might derail a reader.

In terms of the story it’s not really my sort of thing. It feels a bit too ‘route one’ in creating conflict and setting up the cliffhanger, without taking the time to enjoy the storytelling.

At the same time there’s a lot of exposition and unneeded detail. Things like Nathan’s height, age and looks can come out more naturally through the narrative, or added mid-scene as a way of slowing its pace a little.

This is another storytelling opportunity. You’re narrating to us, rather than the story telling us within its narrative. That can work but you need to create a narrator and let them narrate the story rather than trying to do it yourself as the author. The other approach would be to add that information as flavour or explanation for emotions or actions.

So you could for instance have gone with something like “Although he knew he was not allowed to wear big boy undies without permission, he’d already earned himself a punishment by removing his own diaper. That took all the guilt away from sliding the boxers on, especially as he’d been sensible and wiped himself clean first.”

It’s barely changed from your wording, conveys the same information but now we’re understanding Nathan’s perspective rather than a dry third party monotone voice telling us something.

But leaving all that aside, you’ve written something that’s readable in its current form, and that many members of the community will enjoy and hope to see continued. So hopefully this feedback will be helpful and you’ll have fun writing the rest :slight_smile:

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Thank you for your amazing feedback i was so nervous to post this haha. I have chapter 2 finished but will for sure use your advice going forward :slight_smile: thank you again for your kind feedback it made my day

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Chapter 2: A Wet Bed

Lexi woke up to the sound of birds chirping in the fresh morning air, remembering the events of last night she quickly stuck her hands between her slender legs. Just as she thought her diaper was dry however the sheets were not. “Nathan sweetie.” she said softly as she gently shook her baby. Nathan began to gently moan and began to slowly wake up “Sweetie it looks like someone lost their bet with Mommy!” She slid her hand under the covers and began gently stroking the front of Nathan’s wet boxers.

Nathan let out a soft moan as he felt Mommy’s gentle hands rubbing him as he lay in the humiliation of his own accident. “No! Mommy that’s cause your diaper leaked.” Nathan pouted as his cheeks went red with shame. “Well little one why are your little undies soaking wet and Mommy’s diaper is nice and dry?” She said as she took Nathan’s hand and placed it on her padded crotch, she let out a soft moan as she felt him press her padding into her. “”Mommy that’s not fair you tricked me!”

Nathan continued to fuss. “But you were so confident baby boy now you will be doing exactly what Mommy tells you today!”

Laying there pouting he knew that he had no choice, Mommy continued gently stroking her baby boys prince parts. Nathan began moan louder he could feel himself growing harder with the second. Growing closer and closer to climax “Mommy Pwease?” He whined knowing it was only moments away. “ No sweetie naughty little boys don’t get to cum!” Lexi said as she began slowing down to a stop, leaving her baby extremely sexually frustrated.

Nathan began moaning and whining but to hush him up Mommy placed his paci into his mouth and began sliding his boxers off. Mommy carried him over to the change table and laid his naked bottom on it. Gathering the changing supplies she was sure to grab his thickest diaper and a couple boosters. “Now sweetie you will be a good boy for Mommy and wear these like you’re supposed to!.”. She began wiping him off with a cool baby wipe, taking every chance to tease her little boy some more as slowly wiped around his balls and shaft. Once he was all clean she stopped again hearing another loud moan as she stopped. Laying the new diaper underneath him she began sprinkling powder on to his prince parts.

Taping the diaper snugly into place Lexi gave Nathan’s padded crotch a little pat. “Good boy!” she said as she lifted him off the change table. Heading over to the closet Mommy began to choose an outfit for the day. She pulled out a pair of loose fitting jogging bottoms perfect to occasionally reveal someones diaper and she picked a baby blue shirt with a green dinosaur on it. Getting him dressed in his outfit for the day, it was now Mommy’s turn, she grabbed a sexy black dress with matching panties.

Sitting Nathan on the floor to be able to tease him with the view she began to get dressed.

Slowly bending over she took her time being sure to show off her perfectly round bottom and glistening pussy lips as she slid her panties up. Knowing very well that this would only add to her little boys frustration. Sliding on her bra she leaned in kissing Nathan’s forehead placing her cleavage at eye level. Mommy put on her tight black dress and guided her baby down the stairs to start their “fun” filled day.

When the couple reached the bottom of the stairs Mommy picked up here baby boy and placed him into the highchair. Mommy went and grabbed her a special bottle from the fridge, this was a bottle of castor oil. If he thinks he is such a big boy then I will deeply remind him why Mommy keeps him in diapers she thought to herself. Pouring some into a spoon she looked at Nathan, “ Open wide for Mommy little boy!” Feeling helpless Nathan opened wide for Mommy gulping down the spoonful. Once this was done she did this three more times.

Lifting her baby out of the highchair she set him on the floor, “Now sweetie Mommy has a special trip planned for us today, we are gonna go to the zoo today!” Mommy said with a soft tone. Nathans cheeks now burning bright red he realized Mommy had this plan the whole time, he could only silently nod and agree as he took her hand to go pack for the day. Once back upstairs he sat on the floor watching his Mommy pack a diaper bag, without him noticing she tucked away one of her favourite magic wands for a surprise later.

Getting Nathan strapped in the car she handed him a bottle, after all making sure her baby stayed hydrated was super important. As she got into the drivers seat she turned on some childish music on for her baby. “Are you ready for a fun day with Mommy? Don’t worry sweetie you will remember after today why little boys listen to their Mommy’s and use their diapers like good boys,” she said softly. Although this is what he wanted Nathan knew that Mommy was going to truly remind him what a baby he really was.

Normally I don’t comment on stories, but this is going to be a rare exception, and not the good kind.

I have to be blunt. This story reads more like you’re writing a sex story with ABDL elements rather than an ABDL story with sex elements.

Your (lack of) descriptions of Lexi other than her “slender legs” and describing her dress as “sexy” and that little teasing scene are not helping the pereception at all.

In fact that scene alone means I should move this story to a different section, but there’s a small issue. You currently don’t meet the requirements to even see that section let alone post in it.

The mod team is currently discussing how to handle the situation, but until a decision is made, please be aware the additional updates will remain in the review queue and not released.

My honest apologies I didn’t realize that this would be an issue. If it needs to be removed i completely understand. where your coming from. I’m a newer writer and was looking for somewhere to share my work .

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The problem is there’s a place for it here, but access is restricted partially because it’s a requirement for some of the methods through which we accept donations. The other reason is to encourage active participation in the forums.

We have a way to make exceptions to the normal requirements but we (the mod team) need to discuss if you qualify for that exception or not. :slight_smile:

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Okay, here’s what we’re going to do for right now. You can start updating the story again, and for now it’ll remain where it is. Depending on your future updates the mod team will revisit the issue and decide later if it needs to moved because we can’t really make that determination based on what’s currently available.