Working From Home

“Stop fidgeting and pay attention!”

The speaker was a senior director, annoyed that I was squirming in my seat. I couldn’t help it, I needed the toilet and they’d dropped this meeting on me at the last moment. Sure, I had a diaper on but I wasn’t planning on using it, didn’t want to disrespect my colleagues like that, even over a video conference that stopped them seeing, hearing or especially smelling anything.

“Yeah, it’s like you’re doing a potty dance,” mocked one of my peers. Several others laughed, even the ones on mute visibly smirking and showing signs of amusement.

I was already in discomfort, annoyed and fed up. “Fine,” I said, “You want me to stop squirming like I need the toilet, I’ll deal with it.”

I stood up, turned around and bent over. Even before I lifted my skirt I could hear the gasps of shock. As the skirt rose above my thighs and started to reveal my diaper the sounds got louder, some people calling for me to stop, one sad individual yelling to their husband to “Oh my goodness, come and look at this!”

Holding my skirt clear I tensed my stomach muscles and started to push. My need was sufficient that it had an immediate effect, and one that I was sure would be visible.

The sounds from the laptop behind me told me it was visible.

“Everybody please disconnect,” I heard the director say, “We’ll reconvene tomorrow.”

I heard people departing, turned and saw the last few go. Just the director and myself left, so I pulled my seat up and sat down.

The director could see the grimace as I felt the diaper and its contents beneath me. I looked into the camera and shrugged. “I can sit still now.”

The response was a soft sad shake of the head. “Yes, you can. You’re clearly struggling so sit tight and I’ll come and give you a much needed change. Do I need to pick up more diapers on the way or do you have spares?”

I just looked in shock, glanced over at the stack on the shelf to my side. “I… I have some already.”

“Good girl. Sit there, and I’ll see you in 40 minutes.”

I sat there in shock. Of all the outcomes I’d anticipated this wasn’t one of them. It was a long forty minutes…

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Another video conference. I wasn’t invited to this one but I could hear it anyway, the speakers on the laptop sharing everybody’s discussion. I wandered over, got spotted in the camera and the conversation halted.

“Hiya! You’re looking nice today,” said someone. I couldn’t see who, a female voice, but I responded politely, a delicate curtsey, lifting the hem of my short skirt.

This revealed my diaper, mottled darkness behind the white plastic showing it was fulfilling its function. Nobody said anything, they’d been warned, told to ignore and pretend it wasn’t happening.

That suited me, I wasn’t interested in them anyway. I turned and sat down backwards on the Director’s lap, the soft squish of my diaper obvious to us both. I looked at the surprised face turning to me, wrapped my arms around and said simply, “Cuddle!”

That earned me a frown but it was swiftly followed by being pulled close into a tight cuddle.

“Sorry,” said the Director, “You were saying?”

The meeting continued, and so did my cuddle.

Held securely in that warm embrace I dozed off, missed the rest of the meeting. I didn’t even hear the goodbyes, just felt myself being softly tickled.

“Come on baby girl, let’s get you changed.”

I stood up, let myself be led through to what was now my nursery and jumped up onto the changing table. As I lay back I asked, “Is it lunchtime yet?”

That got a laugh in response. “Once we’ve got you nice and clean, yes. Now, lift your legs for me. There’s a good girl.”

It didn’t even occur to me to disobey. The Director had taken control, and all I had to worry about was lunch.

“Can I have banana sandwiches?”

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I don’t wanna say “this is cute” and leave it at that, but in all honesty, it’s a really good description for the work as a whole (or so far, depending on if you add any more).

It is heartwarming and nice to see things work out pleasantly. While dramatic stories can be gripping, sometimes I just like seeing people happy without having to go through an ordeal to get there.

So yeah, this is cute; happy and cute.

I was wondering if I ought to add the ‘cute’ tag. Done.

That is one BRAVE girl. Wonder if people will make fun of her “potty dance” in the future now?

The Director was called into the office. I didn’t know why, wasn’t told.

“I can’t leave you alone,” is what I was told, “You’ll have to come in with me.”

I must have looked surprised.

“It’s ok, there won’t be many people there.”

No, just the other directors, the cute receptionist, security. Maybe someone in the canteen.

My pass didn’t work any more, I was signed in and told I had to be escorted everywhere. The Director smiled at that. “I keep telling her that, she’s too little to be left by herself.”

The receptionist had laughed, making me blush.

The security guard had grinned too. “I’m sure I can keep her safe.”

The Director had stopped for a moment, seeming to consider this an option. “Thank you, she’ll be fine with me. Come on!”

A tug on my hand and it was used to draw me through the security gates and into the building proper. We went straight to the canteen, the Director wanting a morning coffee. “Can you heat this for me?”

The girl behind the counter took the bottle from him, eyes wide, looked at me and smiled. “Of course, does she want it hot or just warmed a little?”

I looked at the Director. These decisions were no longer mine to take.

“Hot please, it’ll cool by the time we get to the boardroom.”

I shivered at that. I’d seen the boardroom but never been in it, never been allowed to join a meeting there. The table was vast, individual microphones and leather chairs with tall backs.

“Do you need a change before we go in there?” I was asked. I shrugged; not my problem. The Director’s hand suddenly up my skirt, a finger pulling my diaper away from my skin, a check I no longer seemed able to make myself.

“You’ll be fine, come on.”

I stopped in the doorway of the boardroom. No matter my newfound lack of embarrassment, my disregard for what others thought of me, my trust in the Director, this was a foreboding place, for real adults and serious business. I had no place here.

The Director smiled and pulled me close for a quick hug, then showed me that I did have a place here. A new chair, beside one of the tall leather ones, reclined and relaxed. As I was sat in it I discovered something new: straps to secure me in place.

Although I didn’t panic the look of consternation amused the other people in the room. Amused the Director too, got me a warm smile. “It’s ok sweetheart, I’m going to be busy for the next couple of hours, this will keep you safe in case you fall asleep.”

I shrugged, let myself be fastened in, gratefully accepted my bottle and enjoyed the warm milk it offered. Around me important people spoke in sombre tones, real adults conducting serious business.

After the bottle was empty I tried to listen but couldn’t follow the conversation. Interrupting was an option but the Director wasn’t paying attention, was earning the money that bought my diapers, kept me in protected comfort. Instead I accepted that I wasn’t going to be able to play, couldn’t get up and go anywhere, so just dozed off.

It was just like working from home.

“Let me help!”

My plaintive plea earned me an indulgent smile. I wriggled in the Director’s lap and waved at the people on camera.

“I can do this! I’m good at this,” I promised.

“Not right now Sweetie,” said the Director, opening and reaching into a desk drawer, retrieving what was clearly a baby’s pacifier - sized just right for adults. My eyes opened wide but even as I stared in horror at it my mouth obediently opened wide too. I didn’t want a pacifier but it couldn’t be for anybody else.

“Aww, that’s so cute!” “Isn’t that adorable?” “Brilliant! I need to get one of those for my husband.”

The people on the call universally admired the new addition to my imposed infancy. I ignored them, ignored the hand ruffling my hair, lay my head against the Director’s shoulder and found myself sucking quietly on the oversized nipple filling my mouth.

The meeting eventually finished, and I was given a hug. “You were a good girl.”

Of course I was! I always was. I continued to be, by not removing the pacifier and pointing this out.

“You don’t need to do more to help darling,” I was told, “we discussed this. That work is too stressful for you, and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

I nodded solemnly. I had been diagnosed with a nervous breakdown, with my job by far the greatest cause. But I didn’t want to be a drain on the Director’s resources, a constant distraction that did nothing in return.

“Anyway,” said the Director, “You’re already helping - a lot!”

I sat upright, looked into the kind caring face. It seemed I needed constant care and entertainment, was continually disrupting meetings, causing complications when the Director went to the office. The bewilderment on my face caused a soft chuckle.

“I’m in a stressful job too,” admitted the Director, “and I need a cuddle from time to time. I could have got a cat, or a dog, but instead I got you.”

My eyes went wide again, and this time my mouth dropped open, the pacifier falling from it.

It was caught, the Director swiftly bringing it back up to head height, offering it expectantly to me. Of course I closed my mouth around it, started suckling again.

“Yes sweetie, you help me just by being here, being so cute, giving me more purpose than just working for a living,” confirmed the Director. “Now, this is going to leak if we’re not careful so let’s get you changed before my next call.”

The pat on my bottom did sound a bit squishy so I hopped down off the Director’s lap and headed to the nursery. I had purpose now, I was busy, keeping the Director happy. Busy working from home.

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Plaintive?

ta. I was wondering why that didn’t look right.

The new Chief Executive Officer was young, around my age, but unlike me she was loud, and obnoxious. I looked up in alarm at the shouting coming through the speakers, the screen hidden by the edge of the desk. The Director looked uncomfortable, this management approach alien and unwelcome. I did my job, got up off the floor and gave the Director a stress relieving cuddle, squirming into a comfy position that made the Director smile.

On the video conference the response was delayed but when it came it had tones of outrage, perhaps even disgust. “What. Is. That!”

Perhaps that was a reasonable reaction. I was in a soft fleece onesie, white with an irregular flower motif, poppers running diagonally from one shoulder to the opposite thigh and then obviously across across the flaps fastened between my legs, holding my diaper in place. The diaper was thicker than normal, the Director testing washable cloth on me, child safe diaper pins more intimate than mass produced sticky tabs. Any remaining uncertainty regarding my situation was dispelled by the pacifier, something I’d taken to in a way that surprised us both.

It was perhaps fortunate my pacifier kept me quiet, that tone had set me on edge and I’m not sure I’d have said nice things. A steadying hand on my thigh let me know the Director was aware of this, reassurance and warning conveyed through a gentle squeeze.

If the CEO had been in the room she’d have wilted under the penetrating glare the Director gave to the camera. I wilted and I wasn’t even the subject of it. But the video technology dissipated its effect and she ignored it.

“This is not a creche,” shouted the CEO, “Get that… person out of my meeting.”

I knew she meant me. Rather than wait to be told or risk getting the Director into trouble I let go, ending the cuddle, and shuffled forward to stand up.

“It’s ok Sweetie,” said the Director quietly, holding me in place, “You stay there.”

We both looked at the camera. The response from the CEO was quieter, her anger levels hitting cold rage. “This is unacceptable. I’m not having this from my senior management team. Get with the programme or you’re fired.”

The initial reaction from the Director was to squeeze me a little closer, a clear signal not to move. The verbal response was much slower, coming only after a slow, almost delighted smile. I knew the Director well enough to know that was a warning sign, that something momentous was about to happen. On the screen I could see other directors come to the same realisation, smiles of their own forming.

The CEO seemed surprised by this, paused her tirade long enough for the Director to give a response. “You know,” stated the Director, “that the company is privately owned. You were selected by the Board, including both of my fellow co-founders, but the Board represents us.”

“Us?” asked the CEO, “Oh! You’re… the third partner?”

A solemn nod was her reply.

The response that followed surprised us all. A scream of anguish, a babbled apology, tears.

“Go and play,” said the Director, guiding me back to the floor, “I need to deal with this.” As I left the room I heard a polite request to the other participants on the call to hang up, turned and saw a soft shake of the head.

A few minutes later the Director came and found me as I was telling Teddy about the situation. Six foot of stuffed toy was fun to sit on and cuddle, and also made for a superb listener. The Director listened too, then came over and crouched in front of me.

“Come on, we need to go out.”

I was led through to the garage, told to climb up into the car, fastened into the special seat that had been bought for me. “Where are we going?” I asked. Nobody had told me about a planned trip today.

“Sorry Sweetie,” said the Director, “Bit of an emergency. We need to go over to the CEO’s house.” A pause, a smile at the bemusement on my face, an explanation. “We need to go and collect your new sister.”

Working from home was about to become even more fun.

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