You are who you are.

I wake from my sleep as I always do right now cold and wet and a little confused . It’s the middle of winter and morning temperatures feel artic cold. Now that’s the cold part want me to explain confused or wet next cause honestly they are both as difficult to explain. Well lets go with wet, yes I peed myself in my sleep I always have might always will. So because I always wet myself I have to wear diapers most of the time. I say most cause sometimes I don’t just for my fun with it. Some days and nights I will wear a diaper for protection but sometimes I will just wear normal underware because well I kind of like the feeling of wet pjs clinging to my skin and sometimes it’s just more satisfying to wet myself with no protection as it shows how truely helpless I am. Dispite the bullying it’s kind of fun to be that one sixteen year old that sits in the middle of English and wets themselves. Everyone at school knows I wear diapers and knows I don’t use them sometimes on purpose. Well thats the wet part now for the confused part.
Every morning I wake up wet then I look at myself and wonder who I am today. Yes who see at birth my name was John but now I no longer use that name I use two names Jack and Phoebe I was born male but I identify as genderfluid meaning it changes all the time so when I am a girl I call myself Phoebe when I am a boy and niether I call myself Jack it’s been like this for years so everyone at home and school knows to call me Phoebe if I am in a skirt and jack if my hair is shorter.
Last night I did not sleep wearing a diaper so as I look at myself tring to figure out todays who I am, I look at the wet spots on my plastic sheet. Yes I sleep with plastic bedding cause of how I don’t always use diapers. After looking at myself I get out and take of my wet clothing through them in the washbin then nakid, walk over to the wardrobe grab a diaper a nice long frilly dress light pink in colour with a hint of blue in the form of an abstract pattern. I through the dress on my chair then say to myself today I’m Phoebe.
I walk into the bathroom and step into the shower turning the water on and letting it run down my face and through my long blonde hair which also has blue highlights as if sixteen year old boy wearing a pink dress did not screem I hate my birth sex enough. After showering for a good twenty minutes I got out my razer and sharted to shave my face chest legs arms even my private arena I am kind of wierd I don’t like all the hair. I don’t mind eye lashes eye brows and head hair but anywhere else just felt wrong. After shaving off most of the hair that was growing back I walked out of the shower dried off and layed down on the changing mat I have two baby changing mats a pink one and a blue one today I pulled out the pink one and just left it on the floor of my bathroom. I unfold the diaper and start to put it on pulling it up over my crotch and taping it tightly to avoid leaks.
I get up leaving the changing mat there as I would be back later and went to clean my sheets plus pull on my dress. After wiping down the sheets and grabing my dress, I enter the hallway and walk down to the kitchen.
“Hi mom could you plat my hair please?” I asked up on entering. Yes I could plat my own hair but enjoyed it more when she does it as we get to talk.
“Morning phoebe sleep well?” She said gesturing to breakfast.
“Yes woke up very wet though glad I sleep on plastic otherwise I think the frame underneath could be soaked.”
“That bad?” She interjected
“Yeah, but atleast today I got a cool dress to ware.”
“In the middle of winter?”
“Don’t plan on going out today.” I said eating my food.
“Well what do you think phoebe?”
“Looks cute mom thanks have a good day at work.” Well yes it’s the middle of winter but it’s the weekend and I have no school so as mom works I can just watch MLP all day.

To be continued.

Re: You are who you are.

???

Before you continue; is this an actual story, or are you just explaining your username?
Because it reads a lot like the former.

Re: You are who you are.

Nope I am not explaining my username just telling a different story compared to most I have read. And I used I alot so instead of it sounding like exposition it sounded more like the character thoughts It’s just a different style of writing.

Re: You are who you are.

Well, you used separate lines for each speaker, so that is a good start. :slight_smile:

Watch the run-on sentences and spelling. Names begin with capital letters. John and Phoebe.

Re: You are who you are.

Look out, folks, we’ve got an ABDL James Joyce happening here.

Re: You are who you are.

Are you sure? Because I’ve seen this style of writing. Lots of times. On lots of different forums.

Is style really the word you’re looking for? Topic? Do you mean topic? I feel you mean topic. I’ll grant you topic. Style though? Haven’t seen anything different, yet. Maybe it takes multiple chapters to detect the differences you’re referring to. I dunno. Please continue.

Re: You are who you are.

Maybe the style I am using has been done already depends anyone wrote out all their expotion as the characters thoughts and if they are talking to you? It’s like taking the way comic books are wrote specifically batman as a better example and applying it to a novelisation so everything feels more personal to the character. Maybe it’s been done before maybe it’s not but I have not seen it be done before most things I see are wrote like standard books. But the themes are different as well.

Anyway continued

Not shorty after my mom left I found myself thrown down on the living room chair watching TV. What I love about weekends is my parents are both out, with my mom out for work after I have breakfast, and my dad; because of his commute really don’t understand why he does not transfer closer to home but whatever, leaving before I am even up. I have the whole house to myself. This kind of means a marathon of all the little kids shows I like.
I have come to terms with who I am obviously; but still I find it wierd how one day I can be sat down here watching Star Wars Rebels and Marvel cartoons then the next day I am watching My Little Pony and Winx Club. Well I guess that is just me looking at my self from the third person. Hell anyone would take one look at then say I am wierd, but my friends and parents love me and just see it as part of my unique personality. So who am I to be complaining, listen to yourself your rambling about random things again Phoebe.
After sitting downstairs and watching my morning cartoons for about an hour I decide to take a break and head upstairs to my room. Up on getting up I relise that breakfast as taken effect as stand up and feel my diaper sag due to wetness.
“It still amazes me how it’s been sixteen years and I still have no idea when that happens.” I say to myself as I exit the room.
Once returning to my room I twirl infront of my mirror feeling my dress and my hair fly out as I spin. This Is why I enjoy being who I am it’s the simple things like this. The simple things like twirling in a mirror that feel natural and satisfying well atleast today they do, tomorrow it might be sitting on my ass all day that feels natural. Alas I throw myself down my bed and pick up my tablet to start searching the internet.

To be continued

Sorry for short chapter don’t have much time to write right now.

Re: You are who you are.

Yeah…it’s called 1st person point of view. Comics do it when there’s really only one character to focus on because it’s a limiting perspective. It provides a nice personal touch, though, when you do it right.

That’s why you read Batman’s inner thoughts in Batman, like he’s talking to you, but not during Justice League.

Novels have done it for a looooooooong time, though.

Here are some books you may have read (or not) that use first person perspective, listed in no particular order of literary significance.

-The Hunger Games Series
-The Twilight Series

  • To Kill a Mockingbird
    -Moby Dick
  • The Fifty Shades of Gray Series
  • The Animorphs Series
  • The Goosebumps Series
  • The Outsiders
  • The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
  • Gulliver’s Travels
  • Rebecca
  • Lolita
  • One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
  • Flowers for Algernon
  • The Sherlock Holmes stories
  • The Invisible Man
  • American Psycho
  • World War Z
  • Heart of Darkness
  • Catch-22

And these are only the ones that I have read/listened to on audio book. There’s a ton more.

Point being, it’s not new. At all. Please do not read these books and think they’re stealing from Batman or you.

Re: You are who you are.

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
The Paper Gods by Amanda Sun
The Sookie Stackhouse books by Charlaine Harris (the books True Blood is based off of)

Just thought I’d add to the list a little. ;D 1st person POV with numerous grammatical errors has been done before, too. Many, many times.

Re: You are who you are.

I’m going to assume you meant “exposition” and say, yes, breaking the fourth wall is a regular feature of slapstick comedy. If you’re going for slapstick comedy here, then by all means, I’ll step back and re-read with that in mind. Your prose didn’t strike me as humorous, at least not deliberately.

It’s like taking the way comic books are wrote specifically batman as a better example and applying it to a novelisation so everything feels more personal to the character. Maybe it’s been done before maybe it’s not but I have not seen it be done before most things I see are wrote like standard books. But the themes are different as well.

Do comic books engage in as much full-on misuse of the English language like this? I admit, I haven’t read any in a while, but I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen run-on sentences like what you’re showing here in comic books.

…I found myself thrown down on the living room chair watching TV.

Wait, who threw the protagonist down on the chair? Seems to me being “thrown” onto the chair would be a significant event, worthy of at least some exposition…

As to the rest of this update, much like the first portion, I find an enormous amount of gross misspellings (wierd=weird, really?) and just abject abuse of punctuation - not only lack of it, but also semicolons where commas should go and vice versa, sentences running long past where they should have been ended, and never mind the content.

And, yeah, there’s not enough here to be a complete thought. Or even a move forward in the plot. Because we really don’t have a plot yet. We have a 16-year-old T-girl in diapers sitting around the house on a Saturday watching cartoons. And being confused about her incontinence, even though she understands it completely. And a long list of other contradictions in your opening paragraph for which we’re still waiting for some kind of clarity. Like how she decided “Jack” was a better boy name than “John”, for example, considering they’re equally generic.

Now

If you’re prepared to get off your excessively high horse and stop acting like you have such a great grip on literary concepts, I’ll stop being pedantic about your grammar, punctuation, spelling, scene-setting, internal dialogue, external dialogue, etc. Because everyone else was trying to be nice. I was prepared to just skim right past this story and move on to other things that are far more worthy of my attention, until you decided to be all arrogant trying to defend your “writing style”. And don’t bother with the autism thing, because if you’re smart enough to find your way to an obscure ABDL story forum like this one, you’re probably smart enough to know how to operate MS Word’s grammar checker, or OpenOffice Type’s grammar checker, or Wordperfect’s grammar checker, and find out your thousand words or so here have enough holes to fill at least a crate of Dunkin’ Donuts boxes.

You can hate me all you want, but as harsh as it may be, I’m giving you nothing but truth here, kid. If you can’t handle the truth, perhaps a different creative outlet is worthy of your consideration. Or maybe you should just go post on DailyDiapers, where any kind of nonsense is acceptable so long as it contains diapers.

Re: You are who you are.

Addendum: It’s rather depressing to me that I spent more words on my diatribe than you did on your entire story.

Re: You are who you are.

For the first two responses. have to say is ignorance is bliss never said I have came up with this or this is mine just said it’s a style that is different to what I have seen. So don’t go berating me saying you can’t say all these stole cause I never said they did just said I have not seen it done before.

For the third screw you. Don’t come in here acusing me of being an ass. The only person that is arogant and up themselfs is you. I have shown the other people here the same treatment they have shown me. You are the only one who is coming in here and being mean and offensive to people. Don’t like the response then leave.

Re: You are who you are.

Nobody said you ever stole anything. Reading comprehension. People have been pointing out that why, yes, first person point of view has been done before. The books listed were examples of first person pov being used successfully.

ETA- You were given feedback for your story. Critiques were focused on that. Then you posted up a few more paragraphs, ignoring the advice people gave you and explaining it away as “style”.

Re: You are who you are.

You’ve been an ass the whole time. I tried to give you a subtle, sarcastic hint a while back, but it’s clear your literary knowledge, as extensive as you’d like for everyone to think it, is rather limited, else you’d know who James Joyce and his significant contribution to the literary world were. So instead you keep trying to defend your mind-numbingly bad grammar, spelling, punctuation, and story structure with some badly-executed (though high-minded) condescension, and expect someone like me to just go fuck off when I call you out on it? Nah, I don’t think so. I may have a reputation around these parts as a curmudgeon, but I also have the literary chops to back my grumpiness up. So no, I don’t think I’ll just take my marbles and go home.

Re: You are who you are.

Yeah, I think this thread needs a time out.

I knew I was going to regret releasing it from the moderation queue and I was right.

While the way he went about it could have been better, WBDAddy does have some legitimate points. Especially with regards to grammar and spelling. You’ll be only the third person I’ve said this to – and the only one I’ve ever said to publicly – but you seriously need a beta reader.

Now that said, this thread is closed until Friday. Do not attempt to start a new one. I haven’t issued formal warnings yet, but I will if necessary.

Re: You are who you are.

Just an update on this for the sake of transparency. There were some unofficial warnings handed out privately because of some of what happened. Those who received them know who they are. That being said, the author made a request for this topic to be removed while it was locked because of what happened. That is a type of removal request that will never be honored. As the topic is now unlocked I have given the author a chance to request its removal if they still want it removed so if it disappears that is why.